she asked me why I love her

Gonna need pictures to evaluate your reply.

Q. When to end a relationship?

A. Before you have kids your wife finds out

FTFY

I’ll be hiring PeterPoddy if Mrstaxi ever throws the why do you love me question at me 😀

How has she been in her previous relationships? Has she been one to end it or has the other person done it?
I only ask because I can’t help thinking she might be trying to get you to end it but can’t quite do it herself.
I could be completely wrong of course!

Is her mum fit?

Might answer the question of whether you want to be with her in 20 years time!

PP, can I have some emergency contact details in case I need to answer that question in a hurry?

As for the OP, treat it like a firefight, if you’re not making ground, you should be retreating. Standing still just gets good men killed.

scotroutes – Member
michaelmcc » she asked me why I love her.
I’ve been happily married for more than 25 years and would struggle to come up with an answer for that question (other than “I just do”). Maybe it says more about the relationship that she had to ask it.

Amazingly, I find my self in agreement with Scotroutes.

We’ve been together since late ’99, married since 2007. Like DannyB intimated we just work well together. I think the busy life of work & children can push you into a rut.

Di I fancy my Mrs? I guess so, but equally she annoys me more than anyone else can.

The great Jay Z once wrote some lyrics which pertained to the fact that we treat our lovers better than our wives, due to the attraction/mating process. Or words to that effect.

I think someone on here needs to have an affair and report the findings so that we all know if its worth the hassle. 😉

We’ve been together since late ’99, married since 2007. Like DannyB intimated we just work well together. I think the busy life of work & children can push you into a rut.
Di I fancy my Mrs? I guess so, but equally she annoys me more than anyone else can.

This is us I guess – I still fancy her, but she infuriates me like no one else. The fact that we seem to be rearing two sane and healthy kids suggests that something is working out OK

but equally she annoys me more than anyone else can

We do try but obviously not hard enough. 🙂

I didn’t know why I loved my wife…

We are now divorced

😉

Bookmarks for later, contemplates whether to start own thread with a new username………..

I could quite easily write 2 full pages of A4 why I love Mrs PP. And nearly every day I could add something new to that list. Certainly weekly!
And I tell her why too. Regularly.

I think tha’ts great, I really do…I have a BIL who treats his wife like that and its a bit of an eye opener. Maybe I’m a bit more typical of the average bloke, but I struggle to communicate like that, to say how I feel. Maybe its part to do with how I’m made and how I was brought up. 😕

there’s more to a relationship than “wuuuuvvvvv” We’ve been largely sold this message that we have to have met “the one” and that we’ll be happily ever after for ever and ever. Well maybe, but the most successful relationships I know have a fair chunk of communication, joint goals, give and take, commitment, and understanding in them as well.

i think the right answer to “Why do you love me?” is probably; “You don’t fart in bed.” It’s as good as any.

Im led to believe that whatever the answer, it is probably not: “because you’re like a comfy old jumper”

We were watching TV last night and she asked me why I love her. It was a shock to her (and me) that I was struggling and had to think about things as to why. That’s not the way it should be after 3 years is it?

I don’t know if you should end the relationship or not, but the quote above doesn’t sound like a reason. I could write a long list of Mrs R’s many admirable qualities and few vices, but that would not explain why we click. I also wouldn’t be able to come up with an instantaneous list if I was put on the spot like that.

“because you’re like a comfy old urban jumper”

^^
😛

urban

well that just quadrupled the price, anyway.

[hora]

Sex blah blah sex blah blah Saab.

[/hora]

i think the right answer to “Why do you love me?” is probably

“….Why wouldn’t I love you?”

Get her on the back foot and expose her insecurities in one fell swoop. 😉

id also struggle to put an answer to that question, not really something that i feel i should have to explain, you just either do or dont.

why would you end it tho just cos youre not sure? if you genuinely enjoy time together and dont yearn after exporing other options then just carry on enjoying your time together. it doesnt have to be a big yes or a big no, just see where it takes you. in time you may just look at her and realise yes, i really do love her. or you may go the opposite way.

no matter, just be true and honest with each other and see where it goes.

Im so tempted to ask my OH why he loves me tonight to see how long it takes him to answer.

I personally think she was may be after some compliments about her as a person and wonder if perhaps your doubts about the relationship are actually having an affect on how you’re making her feel about herself. Do you tell her how lovely she is and complement her?

As a woman if I discovered this thread or had any clue that my OH wasn’t 100% sure about us and our future and the fact he’s happy with me, I’d be out the door faster than I can write this reply. If you can say the same about your mrs’ reaction I think you should actually be a bloke with a backbone and walk away rather than torture her any longer with the fact you may or may not want to be with her!

The correct answer is “let me count the ways”.

You should’ve asked if it was driving her crazy
[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcrv9nhH9iY[/video]

Exactly my point. I know lots of lovely ladies but I don’t think there’s many I could happily marry.

This thread is useless without pictures 😀

If nothing else, this thread should get blokes on STW to get their answers ready… 🙂

Golfchick – Yep – nail on head.

[video]https://youtu.be/Gaid72fqzNE[/video]

What @Stoats said, it’s like a trick interview question 😉

OP do you love her ? Maybe you couldn’t answer as its a “trick question” and one blokes typically struggle with or maybe you don’t really love her ? I have been there in couple’s councelling having that sort of conversation.

Given your thread titoe was how do you end it, my view would be you’ve decided you want out. I think the answer is you stop living together and tell her its not working for you, no magic etc. IMO if you’ve had a long distnace relationship the chance to be together full time should be “wow this is just what I have been waiting for”, if it’s not then thats a sign its time to move on. 32 you are still young and with typical girl younger than guy you could easily meet someone in their 20’s and have 5-10 years together before having a family. You could be 40 and meet a 30 yo

What do you think her expectations of your relationship are?

She definitely wants marriage kids and the works. I suspect she definitely has a ticking time bomb and it probably doesn’t help that loads of her friends keep getting married 🙄 .

Those are all things I want too at some stage. Just not convinced its with her.

I’ve never had doubts that we were meant to be together and that seems to be the big warning sign here.

Really??? I was never sure how normal or healthy it was to have doubts while in a long term relationship.

Some really great input here guys and gals, I’m enjoying reading every reply.

Also…as alluded to already, relationships change from being all exciting and stuff, to quite mundane most of the time. You are going to get that with any relationship, which can sometimes make you wonder what the hell you are doing being married and all that! Makes it difficult to know if you are doing the right thing…a lot of the time. Good luck!

Any more experiences on that?? 😛 . How long were they?

How has she been in her previous relationships? Has she been one to end it or has the other person done it?

I have been her longest relationship by far. Before me, less than a year was her longest. Not sure who ended it with her though.

OP do you love her ?

I think so, but I definitely feel like I should be in love with her more than I am after three years. Like there’s just something missing…
Maybe I’m more in love with the idea of loving her?

And I would love if every bloke her was asked that why do you love me question on the spot 😛 .

Golfchick – nice reply aslo. I do tell her how good she looks, not every day but a lot of days.
She has since this morning been trying to make me feel really guilty and saying how I’ll regret this and how I’m throwing away something special. It’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve done, I much prefer being broken up with.

I had doubts about my long term girlfriend, but I dismissed them.

Then I married her and we had kids. Then we split up. Now I see my kids three nights a week and I have to pay her mortgage as well as my own.

I have no doubts whatsoever about my new partner. There is nothing about her that annoys me, nothing I “just put up with”. I wouldn’t change anything about her.

Some people think that you have to live with compromises that make you miserable. You don’t.

None of us ever get younger. Just move on.

Maybe I’m more in love with the idea of loving her?

What? Dude you need to grow a Y chromosome 😀

She has since this morning been trying to make me feel really guilty and saying how I’ll regret this and how I’m throwing away something special.

Ah right I missed the bit where you’d already dumped her. Her attitude to it is really telling actually. If she has to protest her value to you in this “you’ll regret it” type of way then perhaps the value isn’t there. She needs you more than you need her.

hebdencyclist – she’s good at putting words in my mouth and coming to immediate assumptions, but with help from this thread I’m starting to feel more clear that ending it is best.

Just not convinced its with her.

Without wishing to post anything that’s likely to give your relationship a coup de grace. I was pretty sure that if ever I was going to have kids then I wouldn’t find any better than Madame. There’s the objective reasoning “we get on well and she’ll be a good mother” and then there’s the almost subconscious “if it’s a boy he’ll be athletic and intelligent and if it’s a girl she’ll be beautiful, athletic and intelligent”. I know it doesn’t always work out that way and “ideal” couples can get unlucky with handicapped kids (which some couples seem to turn into positive experiences which leaves me admirative).

In France I read something that said 8% of women have kids with lovers rather than their husbands, the main reason being that they married for security and shagged for their lover’s genes.

Is she the woman you want to be the mother of your children?

PS: the fact you’ve posted under your real pseudo rather than a new makes me a lot more forthcoming, reading other replies I think others are too. When it’s a new pseudo I never know if I’m feeding the troll.

she’s good at putting words in my mouth and coming to immediate assumptions

Swoon. What a catch.

But seriously, she sounds controlling and you’re just about to take her control away. She won’t make it easy.

For your own good and hers, do it quickly and cleanly, and if you live with her, have somewhere to go immediately for you and your possessions, delete Facebook for a few weeks at least, don’t take her calls.

Then smash the arse out of Tinder.

she’s good at putting words in my mouth and coming to immediate assumptions

That’s just a girl thing I think. I think so much of relationships is intangible and ill-defined – it’s hard when you’re a man and you try and rationalise everything because that approach doesn’t really work. So whilst the above is not a reason to end a relationship, the fact that you’re bringing it up and trying to think of reasons to justify your actions means that deep down you know the relationship isn’t right and you’ve done the right thing.

Courtesy of M Scott Peck, the definition of love I subscribe to is the will to extend oneself for the benefit of ones own or another’s spiritual and personal growth.

Do you?

she’s good at putting words in my mouth and coming to immediate assumptions

Yes a girl thing. A long relationship i had ended at 26 when we casually chatted about marriage and babies. I said i wanted to have more fun and not get married or have kids until my 30’s. This seemingly innocent honest statment was met with tears and anger as she declared that “i didnt love her anymore”. For the nect six weeks i couldnt get a word in to calm things down, then she left me under the illusion that i ruined our relationship.

I’m very much relating to Hebdencyclists story. I wish I’d listen to those doubts a long time ago and I wouldn’t have messed my life up so much. Life is not black and white, which is why it’s so difficult to decide. Only now that I’m in a new relationship where I have no doubts that things are clearer to me. I hope you find the answer.