Sandwich – Member
Surely it’s all African young ladies this year?

Ta, adds to list..

Whhhhhaaaaaatt ??? 😯

Rule No.1 – don’t buy teenagers presents without knowing exactly what they want! 😀

“Do you know the Poulterer’s, in the next street but one, at the corner?” Scrooge inquired.

“I should hope I did,” replied the lad.

“An intelligent boy!” said Scrooge. “A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they”ve sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there — Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?”

“What, the one as big as me?” returned the boy.

“What a delightful boy!” said Scrooge. “It’s a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck.”

“It’s hanging there now,” replied the boy.

“Is it?” said Scrooge. “Go and buy it.”

“Walk-er!” exclaimed the boy.

“No, no,” said Scrooge, “I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell them to bring it here, that I may give them the direction where to take it. Come back with the man, and I’ll give you a shilling. Come back with him in less than five minutes and I’ll give you half-a-crown.”

Yeah OP is a bit grumpy

But whats a 16 year old gonna do with a tower of London poppy?

The sponsor a kid thing is quite good tho

I have a nephew who is 17 and will get whatever he wants for Christmas from me. He not a spolit little git and is capable of communication though so is not your average teenager.

I like your approach though, a lot of kids these days take too much for granted and could benefit from spending some time in a poorer place.

Excellent plan STM! Better start planning next year though…

“Walk-er!” exclaimed the boy.

Spelling?

Revenge: the spirit of Christmas

Revenge: the spirit of Christmas

Christmas Revenge is a dish best served cold……on a sandwich, on the 29th of December with a bit of cranberry.

I have a kite :).

It once belonged to an ungrateful teenager.

Ps Great fun…better than any games console… imo

Exactly what do you have to do to get a **** kite round here?

*snort* 😆

Dear diary.

Day 17,825 without a kite.

Master Scrofula has allowed me a 10 minute break from the gravy mine, to look at the sky.
He says our production figures are much better that our sister mine in Africa, so we deserve a treat and it is Christmas after all.

Oh, blessed mater and pater, I do miss you, and those wonderful, carefree, kite flying days we spent together before you were so cruelly taken from me.

Hark!
My master calls.
Farewell, slightly overcast, but perfectly windy sky!
Carry my love to mother and father.
I shall gaze upon you once again at Easter, unless my poor sisters and brothers in Africa hit a new seam of Bisto, in which case, adieu ’till next year.

Rule No.1 – don’t buy teenagers presents without knowing exactly what they want!

FTFY.

I have many kites, bought with the money I saved from not buying presents for people I’m vaguely related to.

I was born in Kampala, Uganda. I therefore claim the kite.
Happy to pay postage.

This is Rusty.

He has access to clean drinking water and has been immunised against most diseases.

Every day, Rusty has to gaze in disappontment at the unopened box containing the GoPro that Lenny Henry sent him in an emergency aid package…..because Rusty doesn’t have access to any extreme sporting equipment.

Unlike most children his age in the decadent first world , Rusty is unable to upload sick edits of his leisure activities to YouTube.

Just £3 a month would buy Rusty a power kite.

Kite Aid – Please give generously.

Thank you.

Give bikes not kites.

Kiteist!

I have kites, but it’s raining here. How about a ticket to Africa to allow me to fly my kite in the sunshine?

#prayforrusty

singletrackmind takes no prisoners!

Just tell the nephews you’ve enrolled them into this kite up an african scheme but don’t actually do it. WhatsApp them the occasional picture of a kid flying a kite in a jungle/desert/township. Spend the money saved on whatever takes your fancy – kites, c & h, africans, bikes …

Get two blow-up dolls. Give one to the Teenagers, keep one for yourself. You sound like you need to get laid.

Some people just get everything, don’t they?

That must be so disappointing for you and I applaud your new approach.
Why not visit your sister and tell her and her kids you want to collect all presents from previous years; hand her a list telling her you will wait until she gathers everything together as you wish to give them to underprivileged kids who will show more appreciation than hers have.
You have no reason to be pleasant or feel awkward about it.
Let her and her kids know exactly how you feel.
Stuff the fallout.
I despise the type of ignorance and ingratitude you describe.

Fantastic !

And whilst shes reading the list remember to express an authoritative demeanor.

STW forum member in actually-quite-good-rant shocker.

I have equally thankless gift recipients in the family, who have previously received one or two well thought out Christmas presents, to which I know not what have happened but they bloody well did not even wing a one word text in my direction for.

Didn’t even bother sending them an e-card this year.

Did consider sending the jpg of the “Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you’re a …”.

Teenage boys? Game of Thrones on DVD and a box of tissues?

They’ve already downloaded it using bittorrent, you won’t get any thanks.

@cheekyboy; authoritative demeanour not necessary to make the point clearly.
You may have different view – but you haven’t shared it.

I live in Spain, bits of it are in Africa… can I have the kite please?

You don’t seem to think much of your nephews so it doesn’t surprise me that they don’t go out of their way to be polite to you.

Gifts are not given in the expectation of thanks but of making the recipient happy.

If someone had bought me a kite when I was 16, I wouldn’t have used it either. 🙂

Amazon vouchers and the charity subscription would be the way to go I reckon 🙂

Last Christmas day I spoke with my sister about the mute twins who , then aged 15, didnt seem to be able to communicate.
” We are worried about the amount of time they spend on their phones”
So W T F did you buy them battery extenders for xmas you daft cow?

Wish I had never mentioned the flippen kites now. I predict a sudden surge in the online sale of bespoke hand crafted niche kites, made with Gore Tex fabrics and LED lighing arrays.

and, yes I need to get laid, its been a while , well years , well actually thinking back, decades, in fact so long ago I can’t remember.
Still not buying ungrateful nephews an xmas pressie.

They can sod off to comicon without the £10 I stick in their xmas cards as well.

They can sod off to comicon without the £10 I stick in their xmas cards as well.

That’s the spirit of Christmas 😀

For just £4.99 you can make a difference.

I’m not African, and I already have a few kites, so can I have a boomerang instead?

You don’t seem to think much of your nephews so it doesn’t surprise me that they don’t go out of their way to be polite to you.

I think the OP thought quite a lot of his nephews at the start.
The little **** would get **** all off me either with their attitude.

I hate kids me.

+1 essel: too much tolerance on display in this thread.
My kids are older than OP’s nephews but if they had shown that attitude they would have been bollocked; good manners, a bit of respect, knowing when to say thanks – or is that too much to expect?
Should start at home and be continued at school or is that……….revolutionary, retrograde, regressive – take your pick.

Cheers Frank. I work with prisoners some of who are little shites, & most of them have little respect for themselves never mind anyone else.
It’s a parenting thing, or lack of.

Essel, I volunteer with with two homeless charities and have worked with rough sleepers in the past; that’s where I’ve seen ‘real’ gratitude and respect.