I hate xmas. I hate xmas with a passion i normally reserve for drivers who buzz cyclists. I wish the whole thing would sod off for ever. Always have, always will.
I have 2 nephews, twins, now 16 yr olds. They are clever and geeky and do zero sport. In the past I have bought nice things like power kites, watches, bluetooth speakers, wireless headphones etc
My brother bought them the Poppies that surrounded the Tower of London, various Marvel Comic Book heroes Hoody’s and T-shirts ( thats what they are into , comics ) The Poppies were sneered at, and they had been to the Menin Gate on a school trip.

All gifts are opened, evaluated for £££ value, accessesed for coolness then more or less instantly ignored and the mobile phone is picked up and texting resumes.

No Thanks, No Thank you letters , no appreciation of the time and effort and expense of trying to find something suitable ( no help is given from my sister , their mother) wrapping it up etc. The power kites have never been used, nor the blue tooth speaker .

So this year I am getting them the ultimate gift that keeps on giving .

For xmas 2016 they will be sponsoring an underprivelidged African child. Each month the child will write them a letter, reminding them of their very nice standard of living, and the amazing gift of xmas 2016 that they didnt receive.

Will they learn anything? I doubt it .
Will appreciate the life lesson? doubt that as well
Do I care ? nope

Why not instigate an exchange program? hoof them out of their house to do an exchange with the African kids, who you can take out power kiting?

Why not just give them a lump of coal, like the olden days?

I’m an orphan.
Any chance of a kite?

This is an excellent thread. Chapeau.

Rusty Spanner – Member
I’m an orphan.
Any chance of a kite?

Are you African?

No, but I’m a big fan of Humphrey Bogart.

I’m not an orphan but my mum dressed me funny when I was a kid.

Stick your kite up yer arse. Can I have the Bluetooth speaker or the wireless headphones? 😉

I once watched a film that was set in Africa.
Can I have the power kite and a board so I can go kite boarding please and thank you.

That must be so disappointing for you and I applaud your new approach.
Why not visit your sister and tell her and her kids you want to collect all presents from previous years; hand her a list telling her you will wait until she gathers everything together as you wish to give them to underprivileged kids who will show more appreciation than hers have.
You have no reason to be pleasant or feel awkward about it.
Let her and her kids know exactly how you feel.
Stuff the fallout.
I despise the type of ignorance and ingratitude you describe.

I’m underprivileged too.

No kite, you see….

Rusty Spanner – Member
I’m underprivileged too.

No kite, you see….

But you’re not African, therefore not worthy of a charity kite.

I’m very short for my age.
Ask anyone.

I’m dual nationality Indian and British.
Halfway between the two is Africa.
Just saying.

My family otiginate from Africa. You sound a right old miser with 2 spoilt nephews, I don’t want a kite.

I use Lynx Africa.

Where’s my Bluetooth speaker? 😉

I think you should sponsor an african kid for one of them. The other one can have nothing. You can choose which one to inflict which sort of Christmas misery on.

I’m African and live close to Rusty, I’d share the kite with him.

Monthly subscription to Razzle???

Good plan.
Between us, we’re an Afro European four legged (I presume?) kiteless orphan.

Make a glass eye weep.

Ha ha.. You sound like an exagerated version of me OP. I have nephews too..

Hate the buying presents part of Xmas. Pretty much hate the receiving presents part of Xmas too. If the presents bit would just bugger off, the rest of it would be great..

Maybe they just think that you’re a ****

Just spend what you would have done on their presents on a night out and snap chat them the pics…

Exactly what do you have to do to get a **** kite round here?

My suggestion fwiw would be to give the money to the African children in the name of someone who will give a shit and might just write back in an appropriate way and get the ungrateful nephews bog all.

By all means tell them that but I suspect from the op they’ll not be bothered but at least someone benefits.

Am i the only one who doesnt know what a power kite is? Stil open to a gift of one though….

Exactly what do you have to do to get a **** kite round here?

Be a teenager who won’t use it probably in a hoodie with a Spiderman comic.

I think the whole Africa thing is a red herring. You’d only get it wrapped around a rhino’s horn.

Stevemuzzy it’s a big powerful kite for prat-ing around with. Not great at stunts but good for generating lift that will drag a person or buggy or board along beach, grass etc. One step down from a kite surfing kite.

I have an 8ft foil (like a parachute on two strings) and it’ll pull me off my feet on a windy day. They also make a really big bang when they crash into a beach hut at about 60mph…

I have nephews as well. I send money to charity for them and send them the receipt ( plus a £10 gift)

so these kites, then – still up for grabs?

Can I have one for my nephew? He’s of African origin
I can deliver him pretty much any time and pick up the kite at the same time

Buy Rusty a kite you monster!!!

Only Africans get kites.

hmmm, turns out an African Kite is very much like a baby robin.

makes you think

I’m glad I haven’t got any nephews. The kite rejecting bastards!!

Now, if they were African nephews, Binners…..

Braaaahn babies?

acording to Richard Dawkins,”We are all Africans” not flew a kite for ages 😀

racist!

Ahhh the first Bah Humbug posting of the year, like the Cuckoo’s call it heralds the change of season.

I don’t know why any of you selfish buggers are expecting a kite, you’ll not be getting so much as a stripey mint.

Surely it’s all charity bikes for the African young ladies this year?

Bluetooth speaker for me please OP. I’ll write a thank-you letter too.

power kites

Added to Christmas list. Ta.