So I have been off STW for since my wife died but after an emotional few weeks I have been reading back on various posts and SM comments and actually addressing the loss of my wife.  Everything culminated last week with 24 family and friends running the local half marathon/10km for the local hospice.  It meant the house was full again and a very positive weekend rating over £7000.  This was all helped by various articles and posts about Marian and the kids.  Appropriately the team was called F$%k it lets run.

The grief journey has been truly difficult both physically and mentally.  I have suffered and lost all fitness and confidence riding a bike but managed to help my daughters deal with a truly shit situation.  With the run last weekend it felt like a starting point, after hauling my arse round 10km, and I have used this to build from for the last week.  I now feel like I want a way forward and after reading about some more cancer and mental health issues on the forum I had an idea and started sharing my journey for the first time  Being positive is something we have always tried to do.

Ironically I have set up trail therapy sessions for those with mental health issues in Plymouth and since Marian died I have set up a set of sessions for those recovering from cancer treatments.  Unfortunately I cannot run these but feel there could be a place for some informal STW trail therapy sessions.  I could really do with riding without the pressure of sending or riding for hours.  I just can’t at the moment and going out and feeling inadequate wouldn’t help.  A simple trail centre blue ride or bimble with a coffee/pint would work for me.  Lots of us go through various shit and struggle to break a cycle or fear holding everyone up.  I suppose it would be like Andys man club on bikes.

To kick things off I am based in Plymouth and would be happy to start things off with one down here.

Unfortunately I’m not riding these days but I just wanted to wish you well with the endeavour and everything else to be honest mate.

Poopscoop you may not be riding but it doesn’t mean that you can’t meet for the coffee/beer/cake part.  You obviously still like bikes and no one should be excluded.

I am in Southampton but PM me if you want to try something up this way. We have bimbly rides across the New Forest with scenery and wild ponies to look at, we have the Bike Park to pretend you are young and can do jumps and tricks and we have the local woods for mixed mud and single track. Let me know if I can help.

Very best wishes, the grief part is just an ongoing process, I’m three years on from losing Joey, and I’m struggling at times; having said that, a long, wet miserable winter really hasn’t helped matters – looking forward to some warm sunny weather at last. It might encourage me to get at least one of my bikes out of the shed, probably the S/S, it only needs brakes and tyres sorted.

Not sure I can remember how to ride it, though…

wrong end of the country for me unfortunately.

indeed grief is an ongoing process and for me as well at least its been a lot of 2 steps forward and one back.  3 years for me next month

I am a big fan of counseling and have had a chunk which has helped a lot but also making that step to get outside and ride your bike hard tho it can be to take that step is very helpful.

I stay down in Liskeard occasionally (family there) and would love to meet up for a no send short ride with cake and views. Bodmin Moor, Cardinham Woods, anything really. Hope you manage to get something more regular set up with locals.

Great idea, even if I can’t make it down there.

Did a C2C ride at the weekend with a group of strangers from around the country, and the conversation got on to how important riding and chatting with friends or even just like minded folks on bikes helped our mental health. Needs to be encouraged any way we can

Thanks everyone and hopefully some meets will happen soon.  I even managed an evening ride by the sea.

Kelvin happy to meet and show you Cann woods but Cardinham does have the best cheese cream tea.

Hi dcl, I’m in plymouth. Be happy to meet up for a chat & ride. Either over the moors, Maldon or cardinham

So a more positive week and managed to get out for an evening sweat on the road bike and actually started to build a hardtail in the garage for the weekend.
Good to see others think it could be a good idea.
Raving Dave happy to do a local ride to with suitable refreshment, especially with this sunny evenings!

Hardest part of any ride is getting out the door. 🙂 Once you have you wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. Even if it’s just a slow bimble around the local woods. Often the best rides anyway 🙂

Well managed a ride out in Wolverhampton for breakfast on a raglan I built last week.
Very tame but also good to clear my head for an hour broken up with a breakfast sandwich.  A playlist of wife music helped!!
We are off to the national in Cannock at the end of the month as the girls have started a race team aimed at having fun.
If anyone fancies a tame ride and coffee/beer on the Friday or Saturday give me a shout!!
Thanks

Great to read about something positive being born out of your loss. I think it is a fantastic idea. Talking is great, talking whilst bimbling on a bike is even better! I’m up in Cheshire unfortunately. I’d be up for something similar up here though. It’s been about a year since I last rode my bike. Covid a couple of times followed with depression. It would be good to get out again.

@dcl – great to hear that you’re making progress, and your kids too.  Long may it last for you all.

Also Southampton/New Forest area if you’re ever over this way

However, standards must be maintained:  WTF is a

cheese cream tea

⁉

@scaredypants you can’t knock it until you have tried it!!
We are probably over near you for the Southern enduros after the summer.  Not for me to be noted!!

Very glad to hear you’re getting out. Plymouth the wrong end of the country, but with you in spirit.

Glad to hear that you’re moving through. Riding was very much a saviour for me, 2008 was a horrific year that left me with some lasting scars but riding and some amazing humans helped me through it.

I hope you find similar solace and peace with your loss when you’re ready.

riding was also a saviour for me.  Repetitive motion is meditative, endorphin release is real, Getting out of the door is hard but worthwhile

I am now on a three week streak of exercise after the 10km.
Making sure I do something everyday for at least 30 mins whether the gym, turbo or a ride.
It has made a difficult week easier

Hi @dcl sorry I lost this thread. I did look for it but didn’t bookmark or anything!

Definitely up for a rdie will send you a pm…