Enjoyed this one from Cumbria Crack, just sounds like a brilliant series of events:

A drunk driver who stole a police car while handcuffed as he searched for his dog after a crash has been jailed.

Two British Transport Police constables were handing over a missing girl to her parents on a bridge over the M6 in South Cumbria when drama unfolded at 12.45am on November 19 2023.

As one PC chatted to the girl’s father, he heard the loud screeching of tyres behind him and watched as a BMW crashed into barriers within the interchange roundabout at Junction 36 and flipped several times before stopping.

The officers then watched as drunk driver Keiran James George walked away unharmed, saying: “I don’t know what happened there.”

Intoxicated George, 33, was desperately looking for his dog, Winkles, which had run from the car unhurt. The powerfully-built personal trainer then became violent and resisted officers as they tried to apply handcuffs.

As a public-spirited married couple from Lancashire stopped to try and help, they saw George fighting with the constables, one of whom deployed a short burst of incapacitant spray.

A handcuff was placed on George’s wrist and he was taken to a patrol car. But as officers searched for a radio lost in the earlier scuffle, George climbed from the rear of their car into the driver’s seat and made off with sirens and blue lights activated, despite being cuffed, with the keys having been left inside.

The officers hitched a ride with the married couple in pursuit of George, who hit an estimated 90-100mph while travelling on the motorway from junction 36 to 35 and then back again, before returning the patrol vehicle, a Peugeot 3008.

Police later issued a public appeal asking for help to trace George before he was prosecuted.

At Carlisle Crown Court today he admitted aggravated vehicle taking, escape, driving while disqualified and assaulting one officer by throwing him to the ground. George, of Highgate, Kendal, had been banned from driving twice in the recent past for alcohol-related offences.

George had described being “incredibly intoxicated” and remembering little of what occurred. His barrister, Sarah Magill, said: “It should never have been possible for him to drive off in a police car but he should not have done it.”

Recorder Julian Shaw observed that what had happened was extraordinary. He jailed George for 14 months. A 31-month driving ban was imposed and George must complete an extended re-test before his driving licence is returned.

Cinderford Rusty Pole

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-67911719

Cinderford Rusty Pole

Must charge my angle grinder 😈😈😈

“Somerset Gimp banned by court from wearing latex suits or writhing on the ground”

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-banned-wearing-gimp-suit-8881253

Enjoyed this one from Cumbria Crack, just sounds like a brilliant series of events:

So many questions.

Starting with why were the police handing over a missing child on a motorway bridge at 12:45am?

I was expecting something twee about a funny shaped turnip, but that was a wild and crazy ride.

Naked man with poo-smeared face seen hiding in bush as bizarre 8-minute police chase comes to an end

Warning: NSFW

Naked man with poo-smeared face seen hiding in bush as bizarre 8-minute police chase comes to an end – Stoke-on-Trent Live (stokesentinel.co.uk)

BBC News – ‘Mindless violence’ condemned as Somerset hedgehog sign broken – BBC News

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmljdjp43lmohttps://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmljdjp43lmo

I know it’s an old thread, but I thought that this local piece deserved a place here. Not much happens down here in Somerset.

https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/real-life/mum-finds-oven-chip-big-9131086

Since when do you pull frozen chips out the bag!?

Edit: now I’m thinking about this far too much.

My favourite headline from the Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph Will always be

PIGEON HELL ENDS IN COURT

I never did find out what the story was.

This happened not far from me :o)

https://www.stratford-herald.com/news/alcester-dog-poo-battle-sees-owner-shamed-9244600/

“It is unfortunate for the suspect on this occasion that his victim happened to have an extensive military background and a rather impressive skill set”

This happened not far from me :o)

The police officer giving the quote was obviously enjoying himself.

Todays TOP STORY in the Southern Daily Echo

Three police cars seen on Southampton road

Shocking I know but wait for the full story and the investigative journalism behind the headline.

I quote in full :
Police were seen on a residential street in Southampton over the weekend. The picture shared by Echo reader Lorraine Barter shows a substantial police presence on Harborough Road, Southampton. Officers were seen in the area around 9.30am on Saturday. A police van and two police cars were spotted by residents. Hampshire Police have been contacted for more information.

Comments from a judge courtesy of the Yorkshire Evening Post from 2005.

“Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness.”

For context a bloke arranged for a dog to bum him. Told police his trousers had fallen down then he fell over and the dog jumped him. I think he may have also said the dog pulled them down while he was having a piss. Classic Huddersfield tale!

So glad I don’t live there anymore.

There was a story of a guy in america getting bummed by horse. It would have only been illegal if the man bummed the horse.