Just back from Half Man Half Biscuit in Sheffield – two hours of absolute genius – nice to hear some of the old ones again: 🙂

Bob Wilson – Anchorman

Were going on a trip,
Going on a train,
flying out of Trumptom
with our cargo of cocaine………….

slowly I begin to pick my life up
Then I go and pick the wife up
She works at Marks & Spencers
la la Lech Walensas[spell?]

Is it it not
Life goes by when your the pilot of a plane
Touching down at Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine?

They mocked me in my mocks and embrodered in my socks

All from memory

Genuis

Careful with that spliff Eugene it causes condensation.

Is it not

Life goes by when you're a driver of a train
Steaming into Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine.

Blimey, are they still going !!!

"And come to half time you were losing four-nil
Each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty
So you'd smash up the floodlights and the match was abandoned
And the dog would bark and you'd be banned from his house
And your travelling army of synthetic supporters
Would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin"

Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town
And it’s spreading like pneumonia
Doesn’t look like going down
There’s trouble at the fire station someone’s had the sack
And the lads are going to launch a scheme get rid of Captain Flack

When you're holding tea and toast, and there'e no-one else about, do you turn the kitchen lights off with your chin?

'And a plague fell upon the Retail Park
And a storm broke over Henman Hill
And the christening party arsehole
Who hitherto had blurred
My conception of man as nature’s final word
Was fleeing from the lava
His SatNav pleading thus:
“I’m not from round here mate, you should have got the bus”
Enter then a real rat pack
Millions pouring in
And Ezekiel punched Dan Brown
And the nights are drawing in
And your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing'

Ooooo, Checking out the Quantocks,
In me Joy Division Oven Gloves…

Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots without due care or attention
I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette

F******g Hell it's Fred Titmus!

SO 224 350

I can find my way home from Sierra Leone, but I'm lost without an inside pocket.

Why are tractors turning? We really ought to know!

Presumably you are all aware of the HMHB Lyrics Project ?

I'm seeing them in Lemmington Spa, Jan or Feb.

i phone up dial-a-pizza
i phone up dial-a-pizza
i phone up dial-a-pizza
and i say 'that's not how i would spell hawaiian'

PICCALILLY SHINPADS!

if i knew you were coming i'd have slashed my wrists

Hello beej, yep, a great site, miles better than the official one.

Have you seen the forum/corrections pages? Charles Exford – their equivalent of TJ, or maybe Fred?

Enjoy the gig – they played a few more oldies and obscurities this time, which went down very well.

Personal favourite:

Them's the vagaries.