I’d blanked it from my mind but there was the wedding where I was asked & accepted to be best man, but the bride persuaded groom to then get married in secret because she’d propositioned me whilst he was in hospital recovering from a motorbike accident that happened whilst on another friends stag/boys week away.

I was going through (in hindsight!) a long and unpleasant break up with my girlfriend at the time of her brother’s wedding. I kept politely declining being in any of the wedding photos as I knew my days were numbered with his sister. The family kept insisting and I often wonder if I’m now referred to in some derogatory way as the bloke who ruined their family wedding photos…

Certainly wasn’t a guest at the wedding but many years ago my wife and I were staying at the Europa hotel in Belfast and were drawn to the window by shouting outside.
Outside a large group could be seen creating mayhem round a couple of RUC gents escorting a groom into the back of a Black Maria.
As the Maria took off another one arrived and a lady in a large white dress was escorted from the Beaten Docket pub and unceremoniously shoved in the back of the Maria ..Wedded bliss 😳😳

At my own wedding in rural Norfolk, the reverend had 4 small village churches under his control, and had seemingly written down the wrong one, cue trying to get him on mobile phone where there is no reception and people having to go and hunt for him, to get him to right church….

The funniest one i went to though was a friend who was english but marrying a lovey turkish lady, they were to have a registry office wedding in UK followed by a room being hired in a local club where everyone had to do a turn as DJ, then a proper wedding in turkey. But the brides mother objected to her marrying an english guy, and spent the whole ceremony and reception in this club, dressed in black including a black veil crying and whaling really vocally!

Another friend went to agricultural college and on his stag do 4 days before wedding was dyed from neck down with green sheep dye, and was still like it for wedding and honeymoon

I had a bout of shingles a little while before my wedding, most likely caused by the stress of organising it.
All went well until the big day. It started raining heavily just after the ceremony, so we have no outdoor photos. This was the same day as Tewkesbury got flooded in 2007. It did not stop raining. I was fighting against a thunderstorm during my speech. We had a marquee at the bottom of a grass field that is owned by the wife’s family. A neighbour ended up digging a trench to divert the run-off. We had to move tables because guests were getting wet feet. A call was made to evening guests to bring wellies and spares if they had them. During the wedding breakfast a small storage marquee blew away, but it was all taken care of by the staff, most of whom were friends and employees of her family.
People remember our wedding.
My wife returned from honeymoon black and blue after falling off a mountain bike riding down Austrian mountains.
This gets mentioned occasionally.

A friend’s wedding in the late 90s. They didn’t want to spend much money and weren’t bothered with tradition, so the agenda was:

– Walk to the registry office from their flat. There were maybe 30 of us, mainly friends but a handful of family.
– Reception at TGI Fridays in Reading, which the happy couple paid for
– Off to the town centre to visit a few pubs and watch the cup final, after sending most of the family home to Liverpool
– Curry

It was all going so well until one of the groom’s childhood friends (who was one of their witnesses) got up in the middle of the curry and disappeared off to the toilet. After 20 minutes or so the groom left the back room where we were to go and see what was wrong. As he entered the main restaurant, packed with Saturday night diners, his friend stumbled out of the toilets into the restaurant and collapsed screaming on the floor, clutching his stomach.

This caused some consternation amongst the staff and other diners.

We deployed the more medical of the very drunk wedding party – two opticians and a pharmacist – and they decided that an ambulance was the best course of action. The staff called 999 and one arrived pretty quickly (ah, the 90s…). As the friend was being loaded into the ambulance he shat himself quite extensively. The groom, being the caring old friend, had to go along to the hospital with the shitty witness and ended up spending his wedding night waiting in A&E.

Meanwhile we all returned to the couple’s flat and carried on drinking. The groom and friend rolled in at about 3am with a bag of soiled clothing and a diagnosis from the hospital. Over-eating and drinking.

Best wedding ever.

Felt a bit rough on the lead up to my wedding last September, put it down to being stressed getting finished at work. The wedding was great as was the first 3 days in Madeira. We managed 2 days great riding over day 2 and 3 then went for post ride beers, I then suddenly went from feeling rough to bang… worse flu like symptoms ever. Muscled through another day and half but then tried to get some antibiotics, 30 mins later I was in hospital with a weird rising infection. Spent the last 7 days in hospital, desperately trying to get discharged for my flight home. Came back to to a cancer diagnosis and multiple hospital trips. Poor Mrs has only had 3 good days out of me!

Honeymoon?

Bollocks, I knew we’d forgotten something.

We had a cracking honeymoon, though parts of it were spent in survival suits. 21 years this year.

I’ve still not actually proposed though. It just sort of….happened.

All I’m saying is don’t be one of two people in RN uniform at an Army wedding, and turn up after the bride as a result of getting lost on the way there.

Have several fun tales of being a guest at a wedding, but it’s not about me.

Last one we were at the bride collapsed of alcohol poisoning.

One of my road cycling buddies. We were on a trip talking about our wife’s/GF weddings etc and someone asked him where he met his wife “On my stag night”

Ok a few more details. Since you can imagine that we wanted a few more details after he dropped this little comment.

Stag night was the week before and he met his future wife that evening. Saw her again next day and day after that went to tell his fiancé that the wedding was off. It didn’t go down well apparently.

Happily married to “stag night girl” 20yrs later with a couple of kids.

This was a mistake! I’ve gone from looking forward to it all, to feeling decidedly anxious.

Happily married to “stag night girl” 20yrs later with a couple of kids.

Is disappointed… You could have at least spiced it up a bit…

When I lived in South Africa I went to a wedding In Pietermaritzburg. The groom is an English speaking Saffa and the bride is Afrikaans. As a group of young English speaking surfers from Durban we wee pretty despised by the Afrikaaners but we didn’t know this as she was great. Her family not so. It was bitterly cold and the wedding and also the reception was in a small barn with no heating what so ever. We had been on the Klippies to try stave off the cold. A really cheap brandy for those who don’t know. So were pretty pissed and a bit rowdy.

The Afrikaans side didn’t like this. After multiply minor arguments and then a pretty full on fight. Her two huge farmer brothers painted a white line down the middle of the barn and both sides were warned in no uncertain terms to not cross into the others territory. Things went pretty well after that and we still talk about it years later.

Only a Saffer can understand how bad the animosty can be between English and Afrikaaners.

We were saving for a ‘big skiing road trip’ honeymoon, but after the actual wedding we booked a 3 day walking holiday in the Lake District (the big proper Canadian honeymoon road trip was to be 6 months later).
During the late hours of our reception, ‘new’ hubby decides to dance while a little tipsy and lands with all his body weight on my foot.
The next day my foot started to swell, it became obvious that I couldn’t get my walking boots on. An hour or two was spent in Kendal hospital having an xray where there may have been a teeny fracture. I ended up on crutches for a week.

The proper honeymoon came 6 months later. Myself, new hubby and 6 male friends (I know, I know) all travelled in a minibus around several skiing resorts. A day into the trip I had a skiing accident, tore my calf muscle and was once again on crutches and having physiotherapy while the guys went out having fun. Being alone for 10 days wasn’t brilliant. But we laugh about it now.

Prospective husband number two broke his ankle on his first honeymoon

That’s jumping off the wardrobe for ya. Take more care this time. Our honeymoon was a, week in the saddle… Pony Trecking on Alnwick Plain. Explain post honeymoon to soreness in ‘that’ area afterwards if you can…