smacking kids

Careful poopsies, you will upset folk with that kind of idea!!!!

Aw, someone’s feeling sensitive today. 🙁

DD, you really struggle to understand context, don’t you! Were three exclamation marks insufficient? (Hint, google sarcasm),

Please resist any temptation to change as part of your new year’s resolution ( 😉 )I would miss the unintended humour. But good luck finding the ball in 2014!

DD, you really struggle to understand context, don’t you! Were three exclamation marks insufficient? (Hint, google sarcasm),

And to think, people accuse you of being supercilious and patronising….

A double Stasi – two down, one to go, won’t be long!!!!

Is FANTASTIC as no normal adult takes any joy at all in hitting his or her beloved and loved child now do they?

I don’t think there are many parents that batter their children. I think there are quite a few who do it because they’ve lost their rag, can’t use their words and are having a temper tantrum. And by they I mean the parents, not the children.

as no normal adult takes any joy at all in hitting his or her beloved and loved child now do they?

Yet the only ones they love who they hit [ well one hopes anyway] are the smallest and most vulnerable

It seems a few posters seem to lack the distinction between having to and actively wanting to

You dont have to hit anyone for anything – unless your life is under immediate threat and this would seem most unlikely with a small child.
they choose to they do not HAVE to do it- you seem to have the problem of not understanding you dont HAVE to hit small defencless children…can I come round your and just HAVE to hit your son ?
I think you have to want to – in the sense you have to think its acceptable- hit kids to hit them.

Am I third THM?
Not really getting involved tbh as your lack of awareness of your posting style is matched only by your lack of humour [ see what i did there it was tribute to your posting style 😀 ]

Honestly I have no real issue with you but it does amuse me you deny you do it and like to play the martyr

yes you cop for some grief from time to time [ as do i] but you dish it out as well [ as do i]

So if you have a real live wire, a character, wild and boisturous 3yr old who laughs when you talk to him about the main road or the TV plug and he continually ignores you what should you do?

When this happened to me I just held her attention and forced her to look at me and kept on talking to her until she listened. Took quite a while sometimes.

you mean their are grown up responses that dont involve just giving them a physical punishment

Bloody do gooders a thrashing never did me any harm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25268343

“Training is the conditioning of the child’s mind before the crisis arises; it is preparation for future, instant, unquestioning obedience,” reads a passage from the book’s first chapter.

The “training” is meant to start early and pre-empt the need for punishment. But if the child is already rebellious, parents are told to “use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay”.

“If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered… Defeat him totally.”

Discussed this with my kids they asked if some parents were monsters

When this happened to me I just held her attention and forced her to look at me and kept on talking to her until she listened. Took quite a while sometimes.

We did much the same. The problem is, this takes time. Hitting is much quicker so is the easier option for some.

A lot of parents need to just step back for a moment and consider why they are punishing a child – unfortunately it is more often because of their own frustrations, lack of time for the child, selfishness or even embarrassment rather than anything the child has actually done wrong.

A gentle slap in the right circumstances with a considered explanation of why does no harm IME; lashing out in anger just does harm and is wrong.

This is well put. All the considered and appropriate discipline in the world can go to pot if the frustrations bubble over. It’s how we deal with that frustration that defines us a good parents (or not).

Reluctant as I am to enter the “smacking versus hitting” argument, a gentle smack on the bottom cannot be equated to a smack round the face. They are very different actions with different intent. Trying to define these physical actions within a legal system seems fraught with potential to be abused (pun NOT intended).

Smack or don’t smack as the law currently allows – the choice is yours. Worth remembering you can’t really effectively legislate to prevent abuse of any type though – only to try and find it and stop it reoccurring.

In my opinion there are worse things to do to a child than smacking which are totally legal. Why are we not discussing emotional abuse, mental cruelty etc… Much more negative behaviours with longer-term and more significant impacts.

Quite right jamj, and the previous comment about poorly thought out punishment. A lot of people hand out punishment to kids without thinking about whether or not it’s going to work – or without understanding.

I got told off when I was a kid for ‘talking back’ when what I was really trying to do was explain myself. This was terrible, for me. I never wanted to be bad at all, but I ended up being considered naughty, punished and stopped from explaining myself. So many parents (even mine, who were good and thoughtful on the whole) just hand out sanctions when their kids transgress without trying to find out why they did what they did, or make the kids think about it themselves.

I think that using sanctions as a first resort teaches kids not to do things because they might get punished, rather than because it’s wrong for a good reason. Don’t underestimate most kids’ desire to be good or for approval.

Some people (not necessarily anyone in particular on this thread) need to remember to talk to their kids and listen to them.

A double Stasi – two down, one to go, won’t be long!!!!

Eh?

In my opinion there are worse things to do to a child than smacking which are totally legal. Why are we not discussing emotional abuse, mental cruelty etc… Much more negative behaviours with longer-term and more significant impacts.

That’s just ‘whataboutery’.

Mental abuse being wrong doesn’t stop physical abuse being wrong.

That’s just ‘whataboutery’.

Not sure what you mean…?

Mental abuse being wrong doesn’t stop physical abuse being wrong.

I don’t think that’s what I am saying…