I haven’t been on this website for a while (ten days), i come back and this is the first thread to catch my eye.
It’s great here. 😀

There is a big difference in pace between even a very slow regular STW type rider (e.g. me, who’s probably just about the slowest person on here) and even a fairly fit occasional cyclist.

My wife is a lot fitter than me and if we’re running or hillwalking has to slow down significantly to let me keep up. When we’re cycling (on or off road) though it’s a completely different story as I’m significantly faster everywhere, even uphill where her power to weight ratio must be hugely better than mine.

yeah same here

Going up hill is like making love to a beautiful woman…….

Mboy every tried having a pre-ride hand shuffle?

It will make you more relaxed and less jumpy.

Preaching to the converted mate… 😉

Successful Dating 101

Rule 1. Do not criticise or try to change your partner during your first date.

I didn’t. I already know that one. When, after about 2 hours of struggling, she asked me for a couple of tips I very politely suggested she was doing quite well but may want to shift her weight back a little when she was going downhill as she’d find it easier. She tried, she agreed. Other than this, I kept my gob shut, apart from suggesting she may possibly find it better using the middle ring a bit more often right near the end of the ride, after watching her struggle to ride everywhere in the granny for more than 3 hours.

Take it easy on her, its a date not a thrash with your mates!!

I did. Massively easy. Easier than I would have if you’d given me your 5 year old diabetic, anaemic and hopelessly clumsy child to look after.

For the record, my most common cycling mate to go out for a “thrash” (as you so put it) with is a 43 year old woman, who’s also only been riding about 2 years. But she’s almost as quick as me, and has certainly got more stamina (oo-err missus!) 😉

I couldn’t physically ride slow enough most of the time, I started to wobble a lot. Every time I sped up a touch, I’d turn around hoping she’d up the pace even just slightly… No. Wasn’t gonna happen! She kept saying about not having the legs or the lungs to try to keep up. I’ve ridden with obese chain smokers that have not been on a bike in years that would have left her for dead! I’ve actually just looked at the route we rode and worked out it was about 11 miles. For definite, I could have walked it quite a bit faster than we rode it…

Have been with a few slowies on rides (usually in big groups) – why do they insist on entering the singletrack first and not getting out of the way of quicker people?

Whilst this can be frustrating, and an endemic problem of riding in large groups, this is not what I’m on about. If I’m riding in a large group, and you’ve got someone slower who always insists on going in front, no problems… I just give them oodles of space so I can enjoy myself too without being all over their back tyre all the time. At least these people are actually trying though, putting some effort in.

For the record, it is far more the complete lack of any physical effort whatsoever that she put in that wound me up than the pace itself. If she was as big as a house, but really sweating buckets and trying her heart out, I’d have been impressed. I don’t think I broke a sweat once in 4 hours yesterday, but that said, I don’t think she did either.

She asked you out on a ride (ie date) and then you were critical of her. She’s definitely not your riding partner as you say, she’s too slow. Equally, you are definitely not her future boyfriend.

I’m not after a riding partner as such. Got a few of them as is, and though more are always welcome, I’m not trying to find one. I had originally thought maybe going on a bike ride for the first date was a bad idea, but it was her insistence it was what she wanted to do. I didn’t think that as someone that has been riding for a couple of years or more already, she would be a fraction of the pace of any of the newbies I’ve introduced recently!

Dates work well IMO when both parties are on a mutual footing. I worried that of course a bike ride would be more up my street, but she insisted she’s far from a beginner so I thought “OK, as long as I plan an easy-ish route and don’t expect too much, what can go wrong?”

I wonder if these are the same people who go to gym’s and don’t break a sweat?

Each to their own and all that

I’ve always been puzzled by this. Down my gym there’s a fairly attractive brunette in her mid 20s that often pops along. She’s slim, probably a size 8, but still one of those girls that thinks she needs to tone up a bit. But anyway… She goes in and sits on an exercise bike for 30-45 minutes, at maybe 60-70rpm, but on level 5 out of 20. I often use the exercise bike just as a 5 minute warm up, to get some heat into my body, and will stick it on level 16 and hold 90-95rpm for a 5 minute warm up. I tried level 5, and it was easier than freewheeling down a hill! She’ll sit on the bike for 30 minutes or more, turning her legs over, but never once breaking a sweat. I fail to see how that achieves anything! 😕

Got the distinct impression that yesterday’s girl is the same.

There is a big difference in pace between even a very slow regular STW type rider (e.g. me, who’s probably just about the slowest person on here) and even a fairly fit occasional cyclist.

Yes/No/Maybe.

I bet you ride at maybe 60-70% of your normal pace with your wife though? I was expecting to ride probably at less than 50% of my normal pace… I wasn’t expecting to ride at probably 20% of it!

Have you thought about …ahem…. transferring to the opposition?

If you become a gayer, a bloke might be able to keep up a bit better

binners, many many[/1] times… Sadly, I just can’t fancy blokes though! It might be easier if I did, sadly I’m just too heterosexual for my own good it would seem! 😉

This is why I am so happy to have a sporty mrs!
She just needs to sort out her confidence on the descents (by her own admission she dabs the brakes too heavily, so she’s halfway there)

Good for you mate. The young lady I got mixed up with recently who is sadly, still in love with a married man, is pretty sporty. Swims, runs (has done the London Marathon before), plays women’s rugby, mentioned to me she wants to get a bike again asap etc… Certainly, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, factors that influenced why I quite liked her. Wasn’t to be though, at least not for now.

Mboy- introduce her to the delights of strava. In no time at all she’ll be quicker than a rat up a drainpipe.

Hehehe. Think it would be lost though. Some people only need an element of competition in their lives to turn them from lazy to superfit/fast. I don’t think she’s one of them. Think she falls into the “it’s un-ladylike to sweat” category.

Going up hill is like making love to a beautiful woman…….

It’s a massive shame actually she wasn’t a whole lot quicker than she was, cos she’s actually got quite a nice arse and I wanted an excuse (being slower than her) to look at it a few times! Shame… 😉

Went on probably the slowest ride I’ve ever been on today. And I’m no quick rider, and I’ve been on some slow rides too in the past, but this one really was exceptional, so much so I feel I need to post on here!

Went on a ride today with a young lady

Now I’ve never moaned about someone’s pace before, as long as they’re trying.

Totally bemused cos she likes lots of outdoor activities, but seems totally averse to any kind of physical effort

She tried that for 20 metres, then went back saying “I find it better this way”

By contrast, my ex GF started beating me

this girl would probably actually say something rude

maybe she was slow coz she spent ages reading your posts Mboy, blimey do you waffle on in these threads, surely you have something better to do than spend hours writing all that? (no, i haven’t read it, i got fed up after the first few lines)

Now, that’s what is wrong with the ADHD generation. Like his original post took “hours” to create? And you gave up after a few lines? Surely the literacy error is in your back yard! The original post was laden down with euphemisms and stereotypes and I found it quite interesting, as did a number of others here who enjoy the English language.

There are a LOT of people who can say they ride at Cannock Chase. I think you assumed she meant FTD/Monkey or off piste singletrack. The Chase has a ton of fire road and you see a lot of people who go out and do exactly what you have described. Don’t assume people have any interest in doing what you do. Not everyone who rides a bike wants to do it the same as you do. Suck it up.

I found it quite interesting

say no more 😀

All right mboy, don’t go on. & on. & on.
Anyway here’s my similar story.
Lad I work with who we’ll call Graham (cos he’s called err, Graham) is trying to get fitter & likes biking apparently, he’s 32 & built like a stick insect, (I’m 55 & built like a fat git), we arrange a local ride which I’ve done loads of times before & is what I’d class as easy peasy. Well to cut a long story short I struggled to go any slower during the whole ride, I’m talking seriously slow. Average speed over the loop was 6.7 mph, it only had 2 ‘ascents’ in it. the route was from Aberford, Barwick, Colton & over by Temple Newsham, Garforth & back to Aberford. Anyone who knows this area will agree there’s nowt difficult about it.
I know we all have to start somewhere though!

maybe she was slow coz she spent ages reading your posts Mboy, blimey do you waffle on in these threads

Fast typist innit 😉

surely you have something better to do than spend hours writing all that?

I’d like to say yes, but right now… Boredom takes over all too often and I end up on here!

The original post was laden down with euphemisms and stereotypes and I found it quite interesting

I do try, but I managed to put a few extras in even I’d not spotted! 😆

There are a LOT of people who can say they ride at Cannock Chase. I think you assumed she meant FTD/Monkey or off piste singletrack.

I asked, she said she’d done Follow the Dog. Cool. None of what I took her on was any more difficult than Follow the Dog.

I’m talking seriously slow. Average speed over the loop was 6.7 mph, it only had 2 ‘ascents’ in it

11 miles in 4 hours is what… 2.75mph! Beat that! 😉

Again only 2 real ascents, the rest was sort of general up/down/along singletrack and fireroads.

Was she wearing white trainers,millets anorak,Ron hill tracksters and a helmet perched on the back of her head?
This is the casual cyclists uniform. Some people ride to see the countryside others to exert themselves.
I totally sympathise with you but next ride,white trainers. Get in the slow zone.
Ps putting a stand on your bike will alter your whole mentality.

Lad I work with who we’ll call Graham (cos he’s called err, Graham) is trying to get fitter & likes biking apparently, he’s 32 & built like a stick insect, (I’m 55 & built like a fat git), we arrange a local ride

First time I read that, keeping the theme of ops ‘date’ ride, I thought “get fitter” read “get a fitter”, meaning “get a fit partner who rides” and then the speaker was complaining he wasn’t suitable for what Graham was looking for in a partner.

What I find funny about mountain biking is no matter how good you think you are there is always someone who will wipe the floor with you without even trying.

Theres the type that bang fearlessly down DH barely in control thinking ‘fast/momentum’ is where its at. Whereas there will be another rider on half the travel who could be way smoother and faster.

The one thing I find uncool is calling ‘slower’ riders shit. You are only a bad fall away from being slow for a longtime.

An ex of mine wanted to go for a ride, on the road, we did I think 7 miles…flat…in 1 hour.

Very funny thread and now I’m late for work!!

[/]First time I read that, keeping the theme of ops ‘date’ ride, I thought “get fitter” read “get a fitter”, meaning “get a fit partner who rides” and then the speaker was complaining he wasn’t suitable for what Graham was looking for in a partner.[/i]

Naa, he’s not my type at all. His GF is though, she’s 21 & called Rachel (but non biker) But I’m old enough to be her grandad so thats out the window (+ my Mrs wouldn’t be happy!)
His trouble is that he’s got no motivation to ride on his own. Unlike me who’s off out now before the monsoon comes in this afty!

@mboy maybe she was just worried about looking red faced and sweaty, who knows ? Just take her out on a regular date, if that works then that’s the new plan A.

Now to lower the tone ….

So mboy goes out for a ride with a group of potential girfriends, a kind of Take Me Out for mountian bikers. There is the XC whippet, a gnarly downhiller, a super smooth singletrack goddess and a prima donna more worried about her appearance than her cadence.

How does he choose ?

The one with the nicest smile/greatest arse/biggest tits (mboy delete as appropriate given your preference)

“effort” and “fun” are just mutually exclusive for some people. That’s just the way it is…

You know mboy, the amazing thing about this thread is that you’ve gone on and on about how slow this lass is on a bike, but never, ever said anything about whether you actually like her. You know, get on, have a laugh together. Or even if you find her attractive.

There is a school of thought that says there’s more to people than whether they can ride a bike fast. I know that’s shallow of me, but… 😉

He should view it as some kind of ‘My Fair Lady’ challenge. When she destroys him on a climb in a year’s time, he can wheeze ‘By George, I think she’s got it!’ in her chunky-thighed wake.

Reminds me of the last time you came out with me 😉
If you were as good at whining on internet forums as you were at charming the ladies you would be the Hugh Hefner of Worcester. Or maybe Ted Bundy 😯

mountain biker in forever alone shocker 😆

“effort” and “fun” are just mutually exclusive for some people. That’s just the way it is…

“effort” is mutually exclusive from life in general for a shocking number of people …

I’m pretty hopeless up hills to be honest. I do try, but I’m a “non responder” and my aerobic capacity does not increase with exercise. I have to compensate with strength/endurance training, but I’m never going to be able to race up hills very well. I accept this, and my other half accepts that I’m not going to be as fast as him. I’ve only ever made small improvements in hill climbing ability, so I focus on improving technique instead.

mboy – it’s no big deal, she’s clearly not the right one for you (as, if she was, you’d not have even noticed the riding) and, no doubt, she’ll be happier with a guy who’ll tolerate her riding as slowly as she likes…

Life’s funny – things normally work out for the best like that 🙂

sc-xc – Member
she might be better off using the middle ring occasionally
Missed this first time round. You dirty, dirty boy.

I was thinking more along the lines of finding a girl who prefers it in the little ring 😈

Reminds me of the last time you came out with me

Well he’ll have more chance if batting for both teams. 😆

stop riding up the cheese roll hill mboy!

Between Stroud and Gloucs somewhere iirc

Reminds me of the last time you came out with me

TRUST me… I’m glad I got back in the closet! 😉

How does he choose ?

The one with the nicest smile/greatest arse/biggest tits (mboy delete as appropriate given your preference)

😆

Genuinely made me laugh…

“effort” and “fun” are just mutually exclusive for some people. That’s just the way it is…

Seemingly so

You know mboy, the amazing thing about this thread is that you’ve gone on and on about how slow this lass is on a bike, but never, ever said anything about whether you actually like her. You know, get on, have a laugh together. Or even if you find her attractive.

There is a school of thought that says there’s more to people than whether they can ride a bike fast. I know that’s shallow of me, but…

Herein probably lies the problem… WAY too middle of the road on all accounts, that I actually ended up getting wound up by her lack of effort on the bike! If she’d have had me in stitches, I’d have probably not given a toss about being out on the bike at all! Hey ho.

I’ve usually found the opposite. Usually been quite shocked how determined to do well any women I’ve taken cycling for the first time have been, and impressed by the effort put in.

Me too, although in fairness there have only been two proper first timers, the latest last week.

We were both on singlespeeds (the rear mech hadn’t arrived for the bike I’ve built her) and there are some quite steep banks on the old railway lines (part of C2C) crossing roads. She was in front at the first an automatically got off and pushed whereas I just made it up out of the saddle. She cycled up every one after that, which impressed me hugely on 32:16. 😀