9. Roll in fox shit, it makes you invisible.

9. Roll in fox shit, it makes you invisible.

Not if you get it on your top lip though – promotes a full and vibrant moustache, almost instantly

Or, coming full circle, lace them with pepper.

Chillis. Lace them with naga viper chillis.

I wonder what the legality of this would be

Had to Google them J. I’d rather revert to the kitten plan on the grounds of being less cruel to animals tbh.

In hindsight (and sober) my analogy was in poor taste, and I apologise for any offence.

That said, I’ll just reply to this,

FFS comparing dogs & rapists as being the samething! A rapist, I’m assuming, knows the difference between right & wrong. A dog has no clue..

Firstly, I wasn’t saying they were the same thing, at all. Secondly, a dog owner should have a clue.

The point I was trying to get across (badly) was, a lot of these helpful suggestions seem akin to “well, going out dressed like that, what did she expect? / She was asking for it.” It’s wrong-headed, it’s blaming the victim rather than the attacker. People have an unequivocal right to go about their day without being attacked.

Speak to your local neighood policing team. Dial 101. You should not have to avoid an area because of another’s behaviour through their animals.

Try talking to the dog. I usually greet them with “hello doggy”, or for big slavering hell hounds, “hello little doggy”.
You may feel like a tit, but it works.

+1

Maybe I had a different upbringing to everyone else but I was taught that animals don’t always understand the intentions of humans so when approaching horses / cows / dogs etc. to always take simple steps to put them at ease, particularly if there’s nowhere for them to move to or if they are on a lead.

It’s for this reason most of the people reading this thread will probably do the following when encountering a horse with a rider on it:

– slow down
– make clicking / friendly noises so it knows you’re no threat
– move to one side and wait for it to pass or pass slowly carrying on making friendly noises

Animals and humans can live together well but there is some onus on humans as the brighter species to help animals feel relaxed / under no threat from things we do that are understood by us but can be confusing to the animal.

Dog walkers need to keep dogs on leads and make sure they are trained but with the best will in the world most animals will assume the worst when a human is charging at them – small shifts in behaviour and good training of animals completely removes the conditions for conflict.

Running at a person and making no sign that you’ve recognised they are there, are going to slow down or change directly would in most cases result in the non runner putting their arms / hands out to deflect the blow – animals don’t have hands so will protect themselves accordingly e.g. running at you (cows), head butting your nuts (goats), rearing up (horses), jumping at you (dogs), jumping at you and scratching (cats).

Why? The dogs are obviously not under control. Why should anyone have to suffer someone other people’s antisocial behaviour?

They are under perfect control Hora albeit in the OPs post there’s a good chance they are not due to knucklehead owners.

Just ask yourself – if someone runs straight at you at sprint speed, would you stand there and do nothing when they were only 1m away, or put your arms to shove them back?

If you’re seriously saying you would stand there and do nothing you’ll be doing very well – most people’s instinct would be to put their arms out and by your definition would not be in control of themselves.

For me, I can’t see why any of the hundreds if not thousands of momentary small changes I’ve made on my bike to stop a horse from being scared wouldn’t apply as a standing principle to other animals – it’s no effort at all and if I’m on my bike out for a ride the whole enjoyment comes from being outdoors.

Who is sprinting straight at a dog though? Where has anybody said that’s what they’re doing and the dog should get out of the way? You appear to be suggesting a solution to a non existent problem. My experiences have involved dogs chasing when I’ve done my best to avoid them.

It’s for this reason most of the people reading this thread will probably do the following when encountering a horse with a rider on it:

– slow down
– make clicking / friendly noises so it knows you’re no threat
– move to one side and wait for it to pass or pass slowly carrying on making friendly noises

If I ever encounter a 600kg dog with someone sat on it’s back I’ll slow down then for sure.

Running at a person and making no sign that you’ve recognised they are there, are going to slow down or change directly would in most cases result in the non runner putting their arms / hands out to deflect the blow – animals don’t have hands so will protect themselves accordingly e.g. running at you

If someone was running straight at me making no indication that they’d seen me I’d step out of the way. If a dog is in the path of someone running straight at it the dogs owner should move it out of the way with a lead or call it to heel. It’s not rocket science. People have priority over dogs.

Tried to edit my last post to include this but ran out of time. Just to elaborate about people having priority, I was riding on the towpath (good 12 ft wide section) a few months back when I came up behind a big guy walking a little terrier. I rang the bell, gave a shout but he was on his phone didn’t notice me.

His dog was by his feet but on a huge lead. Sure enough as I went to go around the dog ran from his side of the path right across and under my wheels, wiping me out.

Lot’s of screaming and expletives (from him). “You hurt my ****ing dog”. Did you hit my ****ing dog you ****”?

I calmly explained that his dog ran in front of me and was out of control.

“You’re out of control you ****ing ****”!! etc etc

I went to get back on my bike, he then pulls me by my camelbak and screams about how I’m not going anywhere until he calls the police. At this point I (still calm) told him that was assault, if did it again, there would be consequences, and he could phone the police if he wanted to but I was leaving.

By this stage he is actually frothing, and screams “Assault, I’ll assault you alright…my dog blaaaaah” and he was a big boy, maybe 6’1 certainly 18 or 19stone, and I was late for work. So I grabbed his wrist and collar, pulled him off balance, fainted a leg sweep and I saw the fight just go out of him, and he shut up, which was lucky for both of us.

& this solves the OP’s problem how exactly?

imnotverygood – Member

& this solves the OP’s problem how exactly?

Oh it really doesn’t. I’m just throwing diesel on the fire here. And also just sharing a personal experience about a dog owner who was completely oblivious to his animal’s actions but instantly decided I was in the wrong was willing to go to violent lengths to assert that point.

jimjam – Member

Tried to edit my last post to include this but ran out of time. Just to elaborate about people having priority, I was riding on the towpath (good 12 ft wide section) a few months back when I came up behind a big guy walking a little terrier. I rang the bell, gave a shout but he was on his phone didn’t notice me.

His dog was by his feet but on a huge lead. Sure enough as I went to go around the dog ran from his side of the path right across and under my wheels, wiping me out.

Lot’s of screaming and expletives (from him). “You hurt my ****ing dog”. Did you hit my ****ing dog you ****”?

I calmly explained that his dog ran in front of me and was out of control.

“You’re out of control you ****ing ****”!! etc etc

I went to get back on my bike, he then pulls me by my camelbak and screams about how I’m not going anywhere until he calls the police. At this point I (still calm) told him that was assault, if did it again, there would be consequences, and he could phone the police if he wanted to but I was leaving.

By this stage he is actually frothing, and screams “Assault, I’ll assault you alright…my dog blaaaaah” and he was a big boy, maybe 6’1 certainly 18 or 19stone, and I was late for work. So I grabbed his wrist and collar, pulled him off balance, fainted a leg sweep and I saw the fight just go out of him, and he shut up, which was lucky for both of us.
*Swoons*

*Swoons*

No, thank you. Really, stop it. You mustn’t. But thank you. Oh stop.

So I grabbed his wrist and collar, pulled him off balance, fainted a leg sweep and I saw the fight just go out of him, and he shut up, which was lucky for both of us.

Yes. Obviously. I contemplated making a ranty post on here after the fact but I wasn’t upset enough to make spelling mistakes or use capslock in unusual places.

I also thought I might upset a lot of the betas who’d been in similar situations but failed to assert themselves and ultimately resorted to starting threads about how much they were shaking in fear and regretted what they might have done and/or what’s wrong with the world 😆

OP – lend her your GoPro and chest harness.
ANy incidents are then on film and can be used should need arise.
Simple solution to any owners who feel they need to take umbrage to her scaring their poor doggie and the card can be handed over to the dog warden/police/etc to identify the owner/dog.

if did it again, there would be consequences

Not my exact words bongohoohaa, I can’t remember them. But if I did I’m sure you’d have some kind of trouser accident.

Also forgot to add I trane UFC, so the advice for the OP is to make his wife trane UFC.

Bit of a moral maze, this one. I’m not against dogs but domesticated pets behave like their owners. Sqiirty water sounds like the best option at this juncture.

Also forgot to add I trane UFC, so the advice for the OP is to make his wife trane UFC.

😆

As a sensible answer, citronella should work. Dogs don’t like the smell.
And of the other more intrusive and violent methods mention hear, just show there are as many bike owners who are knobs as dog owners ….

Jimjam, you could’ve avoided having to prove how manly you were by slowing down so you could stop in a controlled manner rather getting wiped out. That’s what I’d do but I’m happy being an unhurt beta, rather than a self righteous alpha with a scabby knee. Oh no, I’m blaming the victim… no I’m not people need to use their common sense.
EDIT clearly you were out of control as you couldn’t perform an emergency stop. You were going too fast for the situation

I was recently bitten on my way to the bus stop by the dog of a terribly polite and apologetic lady out running with pooch. At least there is some balance in the world!

Tried to edit my last post to include this but ran out of time. Just to elaborate about people having priority, I was riding on the towpath (good 12 ft wide section) a few months back when I came up behind a big guy walking a little terrier. I rang the bell, gave a shout but he was on his phone didn’t notice me.
His dog was by his feet but on a huge lead. Sure enough as I went to go around the dog ran from his side of the path right across and under my wheels, wiping me out.
Lot’s of screaming and expletives (from him). “You hurt my ****ing dog”. Did you hit my ****ing dog you ****”?
I calmly explained that his dog ran in front of me and was out of control.
“You’re out of control you ****ing ****”!! etc etc

I went to get back on my bike, he then pulls me by my camelbak and screams about how I’m not going anywhere until he calls the police. At this point I (still calm) told him that was assault, if did it again, there would be consequences, and he could phone the police if he wanted to but I was leaving.
By this stage he is actually frothing, and screams “Assault, I’ll assault you alright…my dog blaaaaah” and he was a big boy, maybe 6’1 certainly 18 or 19stone, and I was late for work. So I grabbed his wrist and collar, pulled him off balance, fainted a leg sweep and I saw the fight just go out of him, and he shut up, which was lucky for both of us.

I would have just slowed down and said hello to the dog but then I am not an internet hard man.

headfirst

Jimjam, you could’ve avoided having to prove how manly you were by slowing down so you could stop in a controlled manner rather getting wiped out.

I would have just slowed down and said hello to the dog

Really guys? What speed was I traveling ? 😆

but then I am not an internet hard man.

Oh no, please, stop. I can’t take this level of passive aggressive bullying.

What speed was I traveling ?

Too fast to stop on a shared path, when you have already seen the hazard, small dog,long lead and distracted owner.

Good job you’re dead hard.

But if I did I’m sure you’d have some kind of trouser accident.

Yup. Then I would throw it at him. There ain’t no war like a dirty war.

Too fast seeing as how you could not prevent a crash despite it being an easily predicted event.

Good job you’re dead hard.

That’s what I thought too.

anagallis_arvensis
Too fast seeing as how you could not prevent a crash despite it being an easily predicted event.

It’s funny how things like riding a bike, anticipating crashes or avoiding confrontations with dogs are so easily simplified online, and so chaotic in real life. I saw the dog. Noticed the length of the lead, slowed my speed, tried to alert the owner and was giving as wide a berth as possible at a slow pace. As I was just about to pass the dog saw me and darted. I steered away from it, but it still managed to get under my wheels. In trying to avoid it, I went onto wet grass, skidded and fell.

Shit happens, and yes, in the most pedantic analytical summation, it was avoidable and I was in the wrong. But so would 99% of cyclists imo.

Had the owner been in any kind of control of the dog, even just a reasonable length of lead it wouldn’t have happened.

That’s what I thought too.

she’s had several large dogs run up to her barking and jumping up at her.

Is she in season? 😛
(prob 6 pages too slow)

‘Also forgot to add I trane UFC, so the advice for the OP is to make his wife trane UFC.’

I can’t help myself; train not trane

Does it mean that you train UFC at something specific or that you train to compete at UFC?

I just couldn’t stop staring at it, I know I have just walked into a trap but still!

^
Don’t worry – I’m still wondering about faint <> feint on the last page.

phil40

I can’t help myself; train not trane

Does it mean that you train UFC at something specific or that you train to compete at UFC?

I just couldn’t stop staring at it, I know I have just walked into a trap but still!

In certain dark corners of the internet (reddit/bjj or reddit/mma etc) “Trane UFC” is an intentional misnomer. “Trane” would be a slight on the perceived intelligence of the poster and referring to UFC (as opposed to MMA) would imply a lack of any actual working knowledge of the UFC/MMA/any combative art.

I guess it would be analogous to saying “I trane WWE” as opposed to “I wrestle”.

I know I have just walked into a trap but still!

Hook, line, sinker, rod, reel and copy of Angling Times.

I thought it was I wrastle WWE?