I know how much you all love a good neighbour dispute thread so I’m going to share what happened this afternoon, with a bit of context.

Our house backs on to a bit of woodland which is part of the park, we have a back gate and a narrow path that runs past a few neighbours’ houses and onto the football pitch. We use it every day for dog’s walkies.

Neighbours two doors down have previously blocked the path with branches from trees and shrubs in their garden. I got angry about this but just moved them aside. Might have been the gardeners I thought.

They now have builders in and today I took dog out and found a small pile of plasterboard, general rubbish and dog crap on the path.

I stepped round it and walked the woofer, but took action after getting back.

In the current manner, I will keep you in suspense and instead ask what you’d have done?

You walk you dog on the football pitch?

Put the dogga amongst the builders rubbish. Then nothing until I was certain the builders weren’t going to take it away. Unless it was chucked over their fence?

I’d have crushed the plaster board to powder and poured it their eyes then watched as the anhydrous gypsyum sucked the jelly through the iris. Then I’d smash them in the face with a rolled up copy of the european human rights act. Then I’d park in front of their house….for ages.

I’d have gone to my local CAB (citizens advice bureau) for advice regarding small claims court proceedings.

We back onto a lane too. Sometime it gets blocked by builders or or other users. Bit inconvenient but as long as they tidy up then no harm done.

It’s an uncategorised footpath in the woods, not a road or anything like that.

You walk you dog on the football pitch?

The football pitch features on the dog’s walk, so yes. Does that seem unusual to you?

Have they got a chimney?

Report for fly tipping.

Written a very stern letter. To someone, possibly the Elf King of the woods or the football pitch.

Used the building materials to construct a mock tudor bungalow then had a moving in party, where only OAP Daily Mail readers were invited and they all stood at the neighbours fence, peering over the top and tutting

I would speak to them and the builders about fly tipping. Then I would go old school on their arse by drinking loads of lemonade and wee in all of their shoes

Refuse to give the builders any pudding.

Are you sure it was dog crap? Perhaps the builders aren’t allowed to use the facilities? 😀

er, bang on their back door?

Jizzed on the dog poo then flicked it into their garden..

You let your dog poo on the football pitch.
Several children have now gone blind due to slide tackling in dog mess getting something nasty in their eyes?

Grind the plaster board and dog crap into a paste, and render their back doors with it.

If the dogs not making furniture on the pitch what’s the problem also you tend to be able to walk round a pitch.

Me I’d write them an offensive but accurate ditty n then spray paint it on their drive

You “took action” -Have you taken your neighbours hostage?

Surround the obstruction with a few spraypainted penises?

Works for road repairs…

You are gettinh angry over nothing. Its because they are doing some work. Theres only a agenda if theres no builders or evidence of work.

Live and let live. In suburbia we have to live cheek by jowl and make allowances whilst others adjust their lives 🙂

Uncarptegorised path? Trying to imagine what depth of trees etc there is between you and the park- can you just make (ie clear a bit and walk on repeatedly) a new path that leaves your neighbours’ builders to flytip in peace?

Plant an Oak sapling between their gateposts and watch their stupid fat ugly smiles turn to frowns as they have to sidestep it……over perhaps fifty years or so…

I can post you down some ground elder to ruin there garden if you like?

I went to fetch my shovel and returned it all over their back fence.

Was tempted to report them for fly tipping but wanted to make sure they got the message.

You are gettinh angry over nothing. Its because they are doing some work. Theres only a agenda if theres no builders or evidence of work.

Do you seriously think it’s OK to dump your building waste in the woods? There was no way they were going to move it again.

“Fire up the Wheelie Bin!”

great thread on the same subject;

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/reported-for-fly-tipping-this-is-going-to-be-an-eye-opener

Dogs on football pitches are fine as long as its a responsible owner who cleans up after it. Its the ones who don’t that cause issues (Cleaned up hundreds of dog turds over the years before kids can play their matches)

Fly tipping is wrong and I would have been tempted to return the rubbish too.

Let us know how the neighbour responded to you returning the rubbish. Try to get it on camera for us please

Reporting them for flytipping will achieve nothing. Without hard evidence the council aren’t interested. I tried when a local chinese ditched a load of pebble dashed waste in a back alley. The council weren’t interested even though their building is the only one pebble dashed in the vicinity and it matched perfectly.

As you’ve done, I’ve found the best approach is to throw it back over their fence when they ditch stuff now. Sometimes it re-appears, so I just throw it back a second time. But slowly the amount they ditch is reducing.

Damn this is awful – some people are such inconsiderate idiot’s – I’ve had a slightly less but still annoying situation with the neighbours filling my wheelie bin – I bagged up their rubbish and knocked on the door and hand delivered it – and told them next time they try a stunt like that I’ll just chuck it their doorstep .. Never happened since .. Seriously just chuck it back over their fence if they don’t listen to reason ..

I went to fetch my shovel and returned it all over their back fence.

would calling around to say “do you know your builders have left a mess on the path at the back?” been a better first step? Followed by that ^^^ if they said yes or otherwise ignored it? Depends whether you mind rapid escalations i guess.

I’ve had a slightly less but still annoying situation with the neighbours filling my wheelie bin

Filling up your bin during the week or have they noticed your bin is half empty on collection day so added some rubbish they couldn’t fit in theirs?
The former is obviously bang out of order but the latter, unless your council have some pay per kilo refuse scheme*, I don’t really see the problem.

*or they are getting rid of something dodgy

Make a pit trap with sharpened spikes outside their gate 😈

would calling around to say “do you know your builders have left a mess on the path at the back?” been a better first step?

Pretty sure it was the householders not the builders, since they have form for dumping garden rubbish in the same spot, so doing this would have been a bit passive-aggressive.

I did consider it, but TBH I thought I might lose my rag and make things a lot worse.

Think I got it spot on.

The obvious downside being that then they know who’s chucked it back over, if as I would expect from all the given evidence that they’d just tell him to do one. Personally I’d consider it well worth remaining anonymous in the circumstances.

Have you seen the Hannibal US TV series ?

Contains some options 🙂

The obvious downside being that then they know who’s chucked it back over,

chaka knows who dumped it, his neighbours know who returned it….neither can prove anything so of no great concern I’d have thought.

But if they are well known to be grade A weapons then yeah, skip the niceties and go straight to lobbing their shit back over their wall.

Don’t folk usually do something from orbit in this situation? Possibly to ascertain completion…