[Closed] Kids and Food

Just keep plugging away. No treats or puddings unless they eat some sort of vegetable/fruit. Praise the good, ignore the bad. Prepare for the long haul.

Eldest is 16. Only eats peas or baked beans in their natural state. Bolognaise is how we hide the rest. Still has a kids multivitamin as an insurance. He's 6 foot tall, skinny as a rake, it's not killed him. Just discovered curry, so he's getting there. What happens in 18 months when he heads for uni, who knows.

Youngest is 13. Takes after her dad and hoovers up most things. Now discovered she's been hiding snacks and chocolates in her room which explains the additional puppy fat, despite 8 hours of sports a week. It can go both ways with kids

Bribery, extended trade negotiations and extortion.

Nothing to add except to say you're not alone. My eldest used to be ok but my youngest will only eat plain pasta, plain rice or sausages (without skin).
Drives nuts especially as that seems to have made the older one regress.

She's still young (2 1/2) so we're trying the "make stuff and leave it on the table and see if she helps herself" trick. Not having a lot of success but I've head it can be a long game. I presume your two are too old for this?

Just to also say, my sister used to be the same, now she eats all sorts of things, loves spicy food and really enjoys cooking/baking

My 3 three are 19, 17 & 17..... can still be a pain in the arse (although better than 10 years ago). Pretty much given up - we make what we want and if they don't eat it then that's their lookout !!

We promised ourselves that we wouldn't be making separate meals for us/each of the kids. Hey ho. Rollseyes

FWIW we have always mashed carrots into the mash - and serve carrots on the side. That way they're always eating some.

Our eldest is proving to be a real godsend as he - despite being a picky eater earlier in life - is willing to give most things a go. We used "you need to show your little brother and sister" a lot with him. He now puts more sriracha sauce in his ramen than I can cope with (he's 9!).

Also onions - he actively searches them out to remove. Middle child will eat them but doesn't like them. Youngest? She asks for raw onions to eat as a snack. 😉

We had an early lightbulb moment, when our first child was joined by our second - and we found ourselves preparing meals for baby, kid and ourselves separately.

I do most of the cooking and have had some success with the following over the years (kids are now 10 & 7):

- Lots of hands-on foods / meals: this is a bit risky, but involves making different parts of the meal accessible in bowls on the table. A typical meal might be something like making your own south American style wrap with a bean mix (often blended / crushed), guacamole, red cabbage-based salad mix, cheese, herbs, tortilla etc etc. If you put it all on the table and encourage making your own mix then it often helps to get new flavours acquainted with and is usually more successful than a prepared meal.

- Disguise: for example, you'd be surprised how readily a parsnip or swede can be slipped into a mash. When I know something like a veg / cauliflower curry would be unpopular or picked-at, I will mash it up so that it's indistinguishable.

- Help with cooking and choosing their own food: I've always found that the kids will eat what they've prepared, especially when they've chosen what it is. Our eldest is getting slightly fussier as she gets older, so I now tend to give her a cookbook (e.g. Anna Jones, Modern Way to Cook) and ask her to choose a few meals in advance. Where possible, I will then have her lead on the cooking. Some of these meals tend to be popular for a few times and then fall by the wayside, but it's a good way to keep them trying new things. In general, I think kids are often encouraged to "bake" and this tends to mean sweet things like cake. Both are keen on this and I've tried to encourage things like cheese scones as a gateway to making other savouries.

I don't know what will work for other people, but this seems to be working for us! As a result, we eat the same as the kids and I'm pretty happy with their nutrition etc. Not perfect of course!

We also eat together most days of the week, which is a little challenging with work etc but I feel is a compromise that's well worth it.

Agree with comments above that you have to enforce it so you're not making individual meals. You can choose your battles though. We tend to compromise and only serve up veg the kids will eat, not a huge variety right now but at least it's getting some green stuff down them. Another cheeky trick is to hide the veg, so you can do that in things like pasta sauces. Means cutting up the veg much smaller than you might do normally to help it disappear, but works for us.

Travel back in time and when they start solids feed them what you have, that way they’ll eat pretty much anything.

There’s very little my 2 don’t eat they’ve gone off one or 2 things as their tastes have changed but it’s very little.

Also always worked on there’s no alternative meal it’s the same or nothing.

I feel your pain.

I'm trying to get ours involved in preparing some food, it does seem to help.

You can get a knife (Kuhn Rikon) that is sharp enought to cut fruit / veg but but not to really cut or stab yourself (I'm happy letting a 2 year old use it under supervision, a 6 year old should make good going of a carrot with it). I try and get mine along side me cutting stuff. Doesn't awlays work but a great way to get them familiar and happy handling and kids of fruit and veg.

`m fed up of eating kids food everyday.

That was your choice then and still is now. Cook what you want to enjoy as a family and make simple tweaks where relevant. Do not simply bow to the little ones' demands. If you think there's some kind of eating disorder kicking in then see a doctor.

Here's how we roll. Monkey jnr has oddly grown up having no issue with fruit and veg - he'll eat most of it. Only major things he doesn't like are eggs, onions/leeks/mushrooms and parsnips. Eggs not an issue as we just add those to our plates, not his. Onions/leeks/shrooms - easy, we either blitz them so he doesn't know they're in the mix, eg spag bol, chilli, asian etc or we cook them quickly on the side for us. Parsnips get mashed in with swede or sweet potato etc.

I know there are extremes where kids actively seek out foods they want to avoid. Sure, that can be trickier at times to manage. But it's pretty simple to mix in what they don't like or just keep it separate.

I've not read it but my partner has,

https://www.amazon.co.uk/French-Children-Dont-Throw-Food/dp/0552779172

Travel back in time and when they start solids feed them what you have, that way they’ll eat pretty much anything.

Doesn't work, even with a time machine. Our first we did all the hippy weaning stuff with lovely solid food. She would eat any vegetable, fish or meat from 9 months to 3 years. We even took to preaching to others about how our woke and progressive ways had blessed us with an olive eating mini gourmet. Now we're all plain pasta and fish finger sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

The 2nd one will eat anything, no bother.

The 3rd one stuck 2 fingers up to our attempts to feed him good food from the start.

Whenever I hear parents going on about how their 2 year old will only eat proper Cantabrian anchovies and wagyu beef I laugh to myself at the thought of them crying while they order McChicken Nuggets with a side nuggets and cheesy pasta in a few years time.

3 kids - 9,8 and 5.
9 is by far the fussiest but will eat most things we give him, leaves bits on the side sometimes.
8 is the most adventurous and always want to try some of ours if it's different or we're eating later than them.
5 was a pain a couple of years ago when she decided she didn't like potatoes or anything potato based. What kind of child doesn't like oven chips?? It was starting to frustrate me as it limited what the rest of us were eating to the point where I started giving her a slice of bread and butter when the rest of us had potatoes. Couldn't see the end of it and thought we were in to years of no potatoes. Then a few months ago she asked for mashed potatoes because Granny had given her some and she loved it. Now she's fully on the potato wagon as if it;s her favourite food!
My theory is that because she idolises granny then if Granny likes it it must be amazing.

Is there someone your kids look up to in a more exciting sense that could encourage them in to trying different foods? Us parents are boring rule-setters who force them to eat things they don't want. But if "your mate Dave" who is so amazing and everything he does is brilliant eats brocolli then they might need to eat brocolli too to be as cool as Dave.

@tomd, that may be your experience but it worked for me. I can't think of any occasion when I've had to cook separate adult and kids meals. They eat what I eat. Simples.

The problem isn't so much getting them to eat some veg. Its broader than that. Youngest wont eat anything potato. None of them will eat rice. Nothing with any spice or sauce that isn't gravy. It seriously limits the food you can make. I have tried the "this is what we are eating you either eat it or you don't" method, eldest didn't eat for weeks.
So we end up with a weekly menu of bolognaise, pizza, sausage, pasta bake, chicken nuggets and a roast on sundays.
The plan since Christmas has been to introduce one new meal a week that they have to at least try, in the hope that they might actually like one or two. They also have to cook one meal a week for the whole family. Hoping that once they see how much effort goes into preparing a meal they may be a bit more respectful of others efforts. Also they might eat it if they made it.

As wilh almost behaviour with kids, both bad and unfortunatley, it is a phase.   It will only become 'permanent' if you let it, as others have said.

Make what you want to eat (within reason.. i wouldn't go making devilled kidneys anything) and they will, eventually, learn to like it.     My only rule with food with the kids is that they must try everything. in front of them.  They can of course not like it mind.For example there is always a little bit of salad on their plate,my<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;"> son now loves it and my daughter has nowprogressed to cucumber tomatoes and weirdly olives after initially turning her nose up at the lot</span>

I have tried the “this is what we are eating you either eat it or you don’t” method, eldest didn’t eat for weeks.

You sure about that? Kept a count on the biscuits, slices of bread, etc.?

We got our youngest to eat carrots by asking her to pretend to be Rebecca rabbit from Peppa pig. Sort of works as they come straight back out of her mouth again but at least she's trying them!

This is the problem kids are individuals we could give parenting tips all day but if your kid doesn’t want to eat something then they won’t. I’m not buying the not eating anything for weeks though they were just didn’t eat what you wanted them to or your partner secretly gave in.

This is the problem kids are individuals we could give parenting tips all day but if your kid doesn’t want to eat something then they won’t. I’m not buying the not eating anything for weeks though they were just didn’t eat what you wanted them to or your partner secretly gave in.

She literally didn't eat an evening meal for two weeks. There were of course one or two meals in those two weeks that she liked anyway. So, apart from breakfast and packed lunch at school, she only ate an evening meal once a week. So she wasn't starving but would rather not eat in the evening than try anything new.

Surprising reading this thread as my two (14 & 17) aren't fussy (aside mushrooms & courgette) and never have been really. Don't know whether that's luck or how we did it from a young age... always eat meals together as a family, originally the classic no pudding if didn't eat main, same food for everyone, varied menu each week (no repeats) and, last few years, everyone chooses a meal each week for us all to eat.

We always went down the 'just try it once and if you don't like it fine' route.

Just one mouthful was acceptable, and if she didn't want anymore than made no fuss about it. Before long she would automatically try everything and just ended up eating it. There are a few foods she doesn't like, but that's to be expected it.

The main thing was we didn't make a big deal out of it if they didn't eat it.

Don't keep trying to feed them the same food they have already decided they don’t like - try new things together as a family. Or eat things in front of them and just let them decide for themselves if they want to try it. Our girls eat some weird things that they like after seeing me eating then deciding they will have some of it.

Also get them involved in the preparing and cooking of meals.

This is the problem kids are individuals we could give parenting tips all day

I have a working theory that advice from anyone who hasn't personally raised some large double-digit number of children should be taken only with a large pinch of salt*.

I remember some fellow, on hearing that our kids had trouble going to sleep, saying with no hint of irony: "Oh, we never had any problems with ours. We always used to put them in their beds, make it nice and quiet, and turn the light off". To which I responded: "Oh, what a good idea, I hadn't thought of that".

Anyway. Just another "you are not alone" post. We've done all the feed-them-what-you're-having type stuff from birth, and there has seemed to be a certain age where they start digging their heels in (or discovering their own taste, depending on how you look at it).

Our approach is varied. We do mix-and-match type meals (e.g. wraps) where you can pick what goes on your plate from a selection. We hide vegetables in sauces. We periodically revisit previously rejected foods to try them again. We use vile threats and exhortations. Sin of sins, we sometimes have separate kids/parents meals.

Although it's often difficult I try to take a long view. I remember eating basically the same meal night after night as a kid, and it doesn't seem to have killed me. My wife's cousin who would only eat baked potato with beans is now a chef wot has been on the telly. So long as there are some calories going in, and those calories are not all cake-derived, it'll probably be OK in the end.

[*] What? No, I know you don't like salt. You have a pinch of another spice, whatever you like. Oh? You don't like other spices? No? And *you* don't like pinches? Uhm. OK, well take it with a baby plum tomato then. Will that do you? At this point I don't really care any more, I just want to get this over and done with so we can all go to bed. You know what, have a biscuit, I'm opening this wine.

I struggle with long sentences as I've not got time just now, but the solution is:

Get them cooking. It was a revelation. My kids were picky central till they started cooking. Then they realised how much work was involved, the joy of creating something and the fact that these things (onions, spices) weren't scary, they were just ingredients that they had added to the recipe.

Complete revelation
I think I did a thread about this year's ago. I'll try to find it.

I was having a conversation with someone about this recently and started to think back on my childhood. Until the day I left for Uni (and haven’t “lived” with my parents since) I don’t ever remember being given a choice about what to eat. You ate whatever was put in front of you or you didn’t eat at all, your choice. My mum made lovely home cooked food (morning frozen or packaged) every day and I don’t ever remember not liking anything (apart from marrows, yuck!). There was the odd thing each of us kids didn’t like but hardly anything and my mum just didn’t put it on our plate but that was fairly rare.
The person I was speaking to said that kids choose a lot what they eat now, some parents do menus! Is this really true? I don’t have kids so don’t have any exposure to it hence asking. But why are kids dictating what they have to eat anyway?

The only thing I’d change about me growing up was having to eat everything on the plate - if I hadn’t have had to go that I might not have been such a glutton now - I can’t leave until the plate is empty!

Get them cooking. It was a revelation.

Us kids used to help our mum to cook I wonder if that helped? Although I have to say I preferred drizzling the syrup onto the treacle tart much more satisfying than peeling carrots, I can’t think why. 😂😂😂😂

I feel your pain, we've got a 3yo and a 1yo. One year old is an eating machine, 3yo is a wee fussy madam. Some nights can be pretty soul destroying as you scrape the barely touched plate into the bin. I just try to keep plugging away and don't get to disheartened, I'm sure there's far worse things you can be doing as a parent. My thoughts are not get too hung-up on what the absolutists on the internet say about parenting: "we just did XXXX and we were fine, you obviously just didn't do it right". Listen and try fair enough, but don't beat yourself up! Some things have gone well/easy for us and some have been a challenge. As Drac said, they're all different! I'm sure OP knows I just figure it's a point that needs re-itterating.

Edit: Tom Parkin +1

I've tried every suggestion on this thread.

We tried getting strict with the 'they eat what we eat' method. We called it quits after day 3 of my son eating nothing (and yes, I do mean nothing). Funnily enough, he did eat what we ate from about the age of 1 1/2 to 2 1/2, then pickiness set in and grew from there.

He actually quite enjoys cooking but then won't eat what he makes.

No advice, I'm afraid. Kids suck.

Ha. It's enough to drive a man to just lashing chilli sauce on his dinner every night.

We get our kids to eat veg by serving it raw as 'nibbles' before the meal - when they are hungry. Sometimes while watching TV slackjawed after school. (Carrots, cuc, iceberg lettuce wedges...). Then I don't care if there is nothing fresh on their main meal plate. I admit that this is sort of avoiding the issue though.

Can you bore them into submission? Plain pasta sandwiches every night?

My only other observation is that temperature of food is very important when trying new food. If the first bite is too hot then our youngest won't even try a second bite. Ever.

Good luck. It can only get easier.

I read the title as Kids as Food

My 3 are all different despite being brought up the same. 2 of them are twins so they were at the same stage at the same time but they still turned out with different preferences.

For what it's worth as a kid I'd eat potatoes carrots and peas - as long as the shell wasn't broken on the pea and if a particular family friend had cooked them runner beans. Then I left home, thought what is this crap I'm eating, gave up meat and walked into a greengrocers and bought a big pile of vegetables. Over 35 years later I still eat piles of vegetables. The point is if they are going to change it'll be when they decide to!

We just removed the food and presented no alternative. If they're not eating, they're not hungry.

It may take a day or two, but hungry kids eat.

I have a working theory that advice from anyone who hasn’t personally raised some large double-digit number of children should be taken only with a large pinch of salt*.
I remember some fellow, on hearing that our kids had trouble going to sleep, saying with no hint of irony: “Oh, we never had any problems with ours. We always used to put them in their beds, make it nice and quiet, and turn the light off”. To which I responded: “Oh, what a good idea, I hadn’t thought of that”.

Yep I get that, and I knew before I posted that this would end up full of smug parents telling everyone how there 4 year old eats everything.
Im not bothered about what the kids eat. I know its a phase and they will get more adventurous as they get older. What we are really struggling with is not being able to eat food that isn't beige and actually has some flavour. We are sick of eating kid friendly food. So its either get them to eat what we eat (nigh on impossible) or we cook two meals (vowed never to go that route, but it seems the only way)

Just found the "thread" . TBH it just comes across as an arragobrag, but I really do feel your pain and think this is a good solution. Try it.
https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/anyone-elses-kids-horribly-fussy-eaters-potential-solution/

I was a picky eater as a kid. My mother cooked dinner as normal. I sat at the table until I ate it. she would however remove stuff ( like offal) from the menu if I really hated it ( not at that mealbut she wouldn't cook it again). NO fuss, no drama no pudding if my plate was not clear. I sat there until I ate it or for an hour or more. No alternatives provided

She does tell a tale of a battle over icecream when I was 4. I wanted to eat it with my fingers. she wanted me to use a spoon. apparently I sat there refusing to use the spoon for 2 hours until it was just a puddle then had to use a spoon.

A battle of wills between me and my mother was apparently something to behold. NO arguing, no drama. Eat it or go hungry. she won.

We just removed the food and presented no alternative. If they’re not eating, they’re not hungry.

It may take a day or two, but hungry kids eat.

Just out of interest, how many days would you realistically go before throwing in the towel?

Like I said earlier, we managed three. Seeing him wandering around half out of it, pale and ill looking, we eventually decided that it was worse parenting to continue to deprive him of food he would eat than to give in and let him eat some slices of bread.

We've done weeks of the child sitting at the table for hours not eating and then only having a slice of bread.  Wasn't working and I didn't want her memory of childhood to be one of epic battles of will.  I try and cook things that I can assemble into different versions at the end.  A bit painful but it's a case of picking your battles and that wasn't the one I cared about the most

We are sick of eating kid friendly food. So its either get them to eat what we eat (nigh on impossible) or we cook two meals (vowed never to go that route, but it seems the only way)

Aye, I also dislike separate meals. If nothing else, in our house it usually means "parents eat after the kids go to bed", which can mean you don't end up eating until quite late. Sometimes it's the old favorite muesli tea at 2145 or so...

However. Sometimes you just need to eat something you actually want, rather than another iteration of the short list of things your kids will accept. Having a night off every so often isn't going to be the end of the world, IMO.

tomparkin - was just about to say similar.
How about cooking a seperate meal a couple of nights a week to break the beige monotany? We tend to eat the same during the week but sometimes on a Friday or Saturday will have something a bit posher. I'm not wasting decent steak on an unappreciative 9 yr old.

Our 9 year old can be a pain when it comes to eating but hes been better since we got him to help plan and cook the meals and he really enjoys the cooking. Sometimes he loves stuff he would never have tried before and other times he will at least try it before saying he doesn't like it.

Bribery, extended trade negotiations and extortion

This. Add in no thumb exercises if they don't eat.

A battle worth having IMO, and we are still having with 13 and 17 year olds...

As mentioned before getting them involved in planning the meals makes a big difference. I let the kids choose 2 evening meals each a week, which must be reasonably balanced and a minimum of 2 veggies, soup as a starter is a good way to get another portion in. We all have to eat each others choices, including mine. If it's something new or that they don't like just give them a manageable portion, even if it's only a spoonful or two at least they are trying. Experts say it takes around 15 tries for your palette to adjust to new flavours or textures, I still can't manage eggs after a fair few decades and the little monsters will put them on the menu if I make a veggie curry

Tranquiliser sausage followed by intraveneous broccoli

I gave my kids a choice. But the choice was always something like Brocoli or carrots, or Mash or boiled spuds.

IE they got wholesome food that I wanted them to eat, but had some agency about it.

Then a few months ago she asked for mashed potatoes because Granny had given her some and she lo

This definitely. On the early days most of the progression we had was when they are something at school or so where else where they didn't have a choice.