I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
I’m especially liking the way that mum had to finish the burgers off under the grill – presumably because you weren’t allowed to play with electricity.
ha, today I had some amazingly tasty sausages, bacon, ( well pancetta) chicken and burgers all cooked on a oak fire, in the woods – Food allways better cooked this way
The only manly use of a hairdryer is to blast furnace a BBQ into rapid blazing action. Next time (see, leaving you a life line there) put down the straighteners, reach for the hairdryer (or paint stripper seeing as in your case even partial failure is total failure) and get it right!
Ideal for the terminally lazy though, or people who can’t even manage to successfully set fire to something that’s naturally extremely easy to set fire to …
They were morrisons “the best” apparently and you have to cook them from frozen???? I may never pick up my bar b tongues again as its left me thoroughly ashamed and traumatised!
Was the BBQ far away from civilization? Or was it in your garden? If the latter it is inexcusable, you have an electrical device designed to cook meat not a few steps away…
Oh… and hats off to Harry for sticking to the cooking lager while you were….erm… cooking
Cheers fella,
We did it properly that afternoon.
20+ of us on a MTB weekend – Check
Pissed – Check
Sun burnt – Check
Kebabs – Check
Lager fuelled football match check – Check
Fairly nasty knee injury after chasing the ball and falling into a drainage ditch hidden by long grass. – Check
hairdryer / hot air stripper sounds fun, but what you need is a chimney starter. The best way i can describe it, is that it’s like the difference between bodging a headset in with wood and a mallet and having a proper press. Everyone should do it the manly way to show they can, but once proven then get the right tool for the job.
Load it up with charcoal, light a ball of newspaper, put the chimney down on top and then sit back with a beer for 15 mins. Blow on it a couple of times for effect (and to see what sticking your face onto the surface of the sun would feel like) and then pour onto the grate and start going.
(not me)
As for feeling manly. Camping holiday last year, my mate was blowing his grill to get it going hot enough for hours while I’d lit, cooked, and eaten on mine. Finally his wife snapped and asked if she could move her sausages onto the remnants of our grill so she could eat that evening. That’s proper pwned!