• This topic has 75 replies, 47 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by egb81.
Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 76 total)
  • I just got knocked off my bike by a pharmacy truck carrying omega 3 and 6 oils..
  • DrP
    Member

    ..I thought I was really hurt, but then realised I just had super-fish-oil injuries and all was OK…..

    DrP

    Premier Icon mrchrispy
    Subscriber

    admin can we ban DrP please?

    Rorschach
    Member

    humanity can we cull DrP please? 😉

    legend
    Member

    *reported*

    Premier Icon akira
    Subscriber

    Space, nuke, only way.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    Have a spin on the turbot trainer, get the stiffness out of your legs.

    In other news two ships, one carrying blue paint, one carrying red paint, have collided. Both crews were marooned.

    Pigface
    Member

    I sniggered but really don’t want to encourage this kind of thing, Flashman just no need for it.

    edward2000
    Member

    I actually quite enjoy jokes like these.

    Did you hear about the frog car that broke down? It got toad away.

    what a load of pollocks!

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    Pigface – Member
    I sniggered but really don’t want to encourage this kind of thing, Flashman just no need for it.

    You have no sole.
    😐

    brakes
    Member

    there’s a time and a plaice for this kind of thing…

    The driver of the truck had just been promoted……he careered off the road.

    Premier Icon rickmeister
    Subscriber

    Whale oil beef hooked….

    Premier Icon benp1
    Subscriber

    Smells fishy to me

    Must have the smoothest drive train in the world

    retro83
    Member

    benp1 – Member

    Smells fishy to me

    any fin is possible so it cod be true

    brooess
    Member

    We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns

    brakes
    Member

    what would be the porpoise of that?

    Premier Icon colp
    Subscriber

    Was the truck going really fast?
    Maybe it had just been to the tuna.

    Premier Icon chakaping
    Subscriber

    Clunky set-up but a satisfying pay-off. My seven-year-old daughter has obviously got competition in the comedy stakes.

    Premier Icon cloudnine
    Subscriber

    Do you have any camera footage to plaice you at the scene?

    Premier Icon bruneep
    Subscriber

    I’m floundering to think of a fishy pun reply

    andyl
    Member

    Was it a case of “Sorry mate, didn’t sea you?”

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    What a load of scallops.

    edward2000
    Member

    Salmon must have some more fish jokes? OP were you on your motor pike or push pike?

    Premier Icon dangeourbrain
    Subscriber

    It must have given you quite a whale-op, you poor little urchin. Still I guess this is what happens when motor vehicles and bikes are coral-ed together in the same space.

    docrobster
    Member

    A van full of Terrapins collided with a lorry load of tortoises.

    It was a turtle disaster.

    Premier Icon colp
    Subscriber

    Have you lot been trawling the Internet for these gags?

    TrekEX8
    Member

    Reminds me of the French cheese truck that overturned, covering the road with de brie….

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    Whale oil beef

    Apparently we’re having Vera Lynn Burgers for tea tonight. As usual. I don’t know if I can stomach having whale meat again.

    Premier Icon Rusty Spanner
    Subscriber

    A truck full of exhausts was stolen from round here recently.
    Police are baffled.

    Premier Icon colp
    Subscriber

    All of the toilets were stolen out of our local police station, apparently they have nothing to go on.

    Premier Icon scaredypants
    Subscriber

    Think yourself lucky DrP – there’s a John Wayne Bobbitt copycat on the loose round your way. I asked how the investigation was going and a copper said all they’d had so far was a single tip-off

    Premier Icon Tracey
    Subscriber

    I slipped getting out of the bath last night and banged my head on the toilet roll. Im OK though, it was only a soft tissue injury.

    Best get my coat.

    Premier Icon colp
    Subscriber

    I bought a dog off our local blacksmith the other day.
    Complete nightmare, the second I got it home it made a bolt for the door

    blader1611
    Member

    I was gonna put this in the classifieds but i have a broken barometer for sale if anybody would like it, no pressure!

    brooess
    Member

    Two elephants fell of a cliff. Boom. Boom.

    Two elephants and a cymbal fell of a cliff. Ba Dum Tish

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    A man grabs a parrot and a gun, jumps off a cliff and shoots the bird on the way down. He hits the ground hard, dusts himself off and says “I don’t like this parrot shooting activity”.

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout
    Subscriber

    A Glaswegian walks into the bakers and asks “Is that a cake or a meringue?”

    “No, you are right” comes the reply.

    edward2000
    Member

    A Glaswegian walks into the bakers and asks “Is that a cake or a meringue?”

    “No, you are right” comes the reply.

    Very clever

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 76 total)

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