Viewing 24 posts - 1 through 24 (of 24 total)
  • Help with what should be a simple part of my CV
  • MSP
    Full Member

    This should just be a simple sentence, a throw away line, that 99% of readers will scan and not even register, but I am not happy with the wording anyway. So help me reword this statement.

    However I am now looking for a new environment and different challenges. to draw on the skills and experiences I have developed so far in my career and push them further.

    funkmasterp
    Full Member

    However I am now looking for fresh challenges in a new environment that will test the skills and experiences I have developed in my career to date

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    ^^ almost exactly what I was going to say

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    I’ve already slept with everyone in my own office.

    rene59
    Free Member

    However I need to leave before I murder someone, but I can’t just say that so I’m teling you I need a new challenge and fresh environment instead.

    MSP
    Full Member

    @funkmasterp Yep I think that is definitely an improvement.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    This should just be a simple sentence

    Well, it’s not even a sentence, you’ve got a random full stop in the middle of it.  I hope the rest of your CV is proof-read more closely.

    However I am now looking for fresh challenges in a new environment that will test the skills and experiences I have developed in my career to date

    “However I am now looking for fresh challenges in a new environment which will test the skills and experiences that I have developed in my career to date.”

    TBH I’d be inclined drop the entire thing, it’s just additional words and meaningless.  You’re “looking for fresh challenges in a new environment” just like every single other candidate in existence.  If you were looking to do the same thing in the same environment then you wouldn’t be job-hunting.

    ElShalimo
    Full Member

    I would say that should be in the covering letter/memo not in the main text of the CV

    MSP
    Full Member

    To put it in a wider context-

    I have been in my current position for over 10 years, and in this time I have been proud to support missions that enhanced sciences understanding of earth and space, the high point being the Rosseta/Philae mission landing a spacecraft on a comet in the outer reaches of the solar system. However I am now looking for fresh challenges in a new environment that will test the skills and experiences I have developed in my career to date.

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    I think they’re on to me and I need to get out NOW

    MSP
    Full Member

    and no it isn’t proof read yet, I am just working on it at the moment.

    tthew
    Full Member

    sciences

    science’s*

    *although, despite my pedantry, I’m not 100% sure.

    oldnpastit
    Full Member

    Ain’t nobody got time to read all that.

    centralscrutinizer
    Free Member

    I’d miss it out, it’s just generic waffle.

    twicewithchips
    Free Member

    I have been in my current position for over 10 years and am proud of my contributions to missions that enhanced understanding of earth and space; the apogee* being the Rosseta/Philae mission landing a spacecraft on a comet in the outer reaches of the solar system.  I am seeking fresh challenges in a new environment that will test the skills and experiences developed in my career to date.

    *couldn’t resist

    I’d put all this in the covering letter though.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    So, is it rocket science?

    MSP
    Full Member

    I’d miss it out, it’s just generic waffle.

    As the rest of my cvis technical, this short statement just explains a little about the environment I was working in, IMO it would require far more waffle to explain the environment in any other way and that world take away from the technical details. These days, covering letters rarely exist, cv’s get sorted by algorithms for technical requirements, most are just cast aside then the few successful cv’s get viewed and that is the only thing the recruiting manager judges you on to decide if you get an interview.

    While I haven’t been putting a massive effort into applying for jobs, the few I have put my cv in for have not required a covering letter.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    I have been in my current position for over 10 years, and in this time I have been proud to support missions that enhanced sciences understanding of earth and space, the high point being the Rosseta/Philae mission landing a spacecraft on a comet in the outer reaches of the solar system. However I am now looking for fresh challenges in a new environment that will test the skills and experiences I have developed in my career to date.

    and no it isn’t proof read yet, I am just working on it at the moment.

    Demonstrably.  I don’t mean this in an arsey way, but your grammar here needs some work.  If you’re just getting ideas down and worrying about sentence structure later then fine, if not then you need to ask someone else to proof-read / rewrite it when you’ve finished.

    I’d put all this in the covering letter though.

    As would I.

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    science’s*

    *although, despite my pedantry, I’m not 100% sure.

    being pedantic, science isn’t a living entity so doesn’t understand anything.  The missions (5 year missions by any chance?) would have enhanced scientific understanding of whatever

    hols2
    Free Member

    99% of readers will scan and not even register

    I think you mean skim, not scan.

    But seriously, proof-read it really thoroughly, get someone else who is good at proof-reading to proof-read it really thoroughly, then put it aside for a few days if possible and go back and proof-read it really thoroughly. Being too lazy to proof-read a resume makes a really bad impression.

    oikeith
    Full Member

    I don’t mean this in an arsey way, but your grammar here needs some work.

    I proof listen to my CV via the speech function in word, helps highlight things like this to me.

    tthew
    Full Member

    science’s*

    *although, despite my pedantry, I’m not 100% sure.

    being pedantic, science isn’t a living entity so doesn’t understand anything.  The missions (5 year missions by any chance?) would have enhanced scientific understanding of whatever

    True, but the way the sentence is written, it still implies that the understanding belongs to science. Also science in this context is singlular, not plural.

    Anyhow, this is OT, sorry OP.

    nedrapier
    Full Member

    First thing I thought was that it was generic waffle and could be skipped, but it makes more sense with what precedes it.

    However, I’d skip the “However,”. It reads so much better without it in twicewithchips’s version.

    “However” is contradictory and jarring, it wipes out what’s gone before (everything before the “but” is bullshit).  The statement seems so much more coherent and focused without it, like your career is continuing smoothly with determination, rather than taking an abrupt turn – inferred subtext: because something didn’t work out.

    rickmeister
    Full Member

    Once its been through ATS it will be 3 lines, some facts and a word cloud….*

    How To Get Your CV Seen

    It can be worth following the Value My CV link at the bottom to see what ATS can do to your lovingly crafted prose.

    * I have nothing to do with Adzuna but have used it from time to time.

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