never known my dad (don't see my mother)

so no 😉

I say that if you're in your 30s you must have a choice about how controlling you allow them to be.

Fortunately, they're both dead, so I don't have to put up with their BS anymore.

Except when they whisper loudly to me from the back of the inside of my head.

Dammit.

Father died when I was 18, mother now in her eighties, suffering from Alzheimers (speech only affected), reads the Daily Mail (and worse, actually believes it), so she can be a nightmare, but then love her to bits and really enjoy her company most of time.

You must be dreading seeing them again in heaven MrWoppit

[img] [/img]

Erm, not really. Although I see what you did there...

Ha. Ha.

... and speaking of which:

http://www.richarddawkins.net/discussions/2013/3/5/how-to-introduce-your-atheist-partner-to-evangelical-parents#

You are not alone! My mother is in the house once a week to collect the kids after school,whilst no mad or controlling she does like to do things her "own way" IFYKWIM.

Anyone else got nightmare parents?

Being the Father of a 3yr old I can finally appreciate how hard, difficult and financially draining it is to bring someone into this world.

Parents made mistakes amplified by having responsibility. Everything that was said was taken in by me.

Neither were great parents, one was by far worse however I'll never stop being grateful. Without them I wouldn't be here (and STW would be a better place) 😉

OP. Grit your teeth and appreciate the good sides, they meddle as they still care for you. Worry. It comes across as annoying from the otherside. Fight but never fall out 🙂

You could try ignoring them.

I ignore anyone who winds me up.

Yes - you could ignore them then present yourself at the probate/time of death to request your inheritance.

To be honest my parents are generally great, I get on with them both really well and like spending time with them. I usually see them once every couple of weeks.

Now my inlaws...... that's a different matter. How my wife hasn't hired a hitman yet I'll never know.

How can they be controlling when they live 150 miles away?

My Dad and I wound each other up no end when I lived at home, by the time I was 18 there was only room for one of us really. Now I've had my own place for a long time our relationship has improved no end and continues to do so (touch wood).

At some point you need to stop being 'their boy' and start dealing with them on equal terms, it's a bloody hard to make a smooth transition, mine invoved much huffing and I only saw them 2-3 times a year for a period but I'm glad we stuck with it and avoided a major falling out.

Since our nipper arrived he's got right into being a granddad which has been great to see and made it all worthwhile.

So, there, no useful advice but at least I empathise eh?

Parents can be bad, but in-laws 👿

Take my MiL... no please take my MiL

my inlaws are the same as OP. I like to ignore all the noise, and only listen when needed, my wife gets upset by them. Always having the worst things happen, or going to happen, no-one been through what they have etc etc.

Clearly this will now happen...

We're fine, but you should see the trouble we have with a son of ours, good job he lives 150 miles away!

Your parents are meant to be mental. Its the law

Now I'm a parent myself, I intend to outdo my own parents in the bonkers PITA stakes by a mile 😀

Take my MiL... no please take my MiL

Mines madder than batshit. Bjork takes lessons from her 😆

You could try ignoring them.

I ignore anyone who winds me up.

+1

A man brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she's welcome!"

Cancel their Daily Mail subscription, wait a month, go and visit.

To an extent, how you view your parents will also say something about you.

I loved both my parents and always enjoyed their company.

And I like my in-laws too.

[mode:hate]
But my sister-in-law...
[/mode:hate]

Philip Larkin sums it up nicely in his poem 'This Be The Verse'.

Mine a pretty good actually. They have thre odd moment but then do do I so I can't complain too much. On laws are much the same, I arguably get on better with my father in law that my OH does.

Parents can be bad, but in-laws

I get on really really well with all my in-laws. I'm not sure whether that's because they are all decent people or just because of my overwhelming awesomeness.

But to prove it's not all roses, my half-sister, grrrrrrrrrrrr. If she were on fire and I was bursting for the loo, well, she'd still be on fire.

I think it is a sign of being a grown up that you realise that your parents are normal people full of characters and flaws, understand that and try to get on with them but most of all respect them. I am horrified sometimes with how some people speak to their parents ! Just because they are related to you doesn't mean you don't have to be polite and respect them.

Anyway lecture over. My mum is great, my dad died when I was 22 and my stepfather is kind of a PITA, very attention seeking, has to be at the centre of everything, which can be wearing. We get on fine though, as I only see them in concentrated bursts when I visit every 2-3 years so value the time. I am sure that helps !