My two-penneth:

1.Randy
2.At the end of the day
3.Moving forward

When people describe themselves as “Lads”. That.

5.To be honest

I’m guilty of using this phrase which in most contexts/conversations means literally nothing. But to be honest I use it a lot and sometimes I don’t notice i’m using it until its too late.

Sambob your failure to correctly number your suggested word/phrase has got my OCD gremlins all angry. They’re running around in my head setting fire to things. 😈

The word “banned”, everyone knows bans don’t work.

7. Big-Hitter

Fractious.

Since having Fledgling Ox, I’ve heard about umpteen million “professionals” described babies as “fractious”. What the flipping Nora does “fractious”even mean? And obviously Mrs Ox uses the term at every possible juncture.

THE BABY IS JUST CRYING. NAPPY, MILK OR BED.

Any sentence with a forward slash in it. That and two – penneth.

Smash it, smash that or any variation.

My bad

What tyres for.

Go figure

Oh yeah ‘my bad’ – what the chuff does that mean ?
That really irritates my ‘English grammar’ spot

In it and not on it when talking about bikes

And innit , that grips my stool

Oh and that advert using the word pooh as the UK is now seemingly too thick to know that there is another meaning for the word stool

Bigger picture

Oh and , some of my best friends are …..(insert appropriate term here)

Turned round & said.

No you didn’t !! Or maybe you did, as did he before he replied (so your telling me) then you did, then he did, then you turned round again….

Weren’t you getting dizzy ? Couldn’t you just stand still and converse without spinning around on the spot before each reply ?!?!!!!

Gggggrrrrrrrrrrr

+1 for ‘innit’

Irritates the inner Grammar school teacher inside me.

Inappropriate use of “like”

“I turned around and said” Really? So you were talking to them and you turned around and said something? Are you blind?

“basically” Yeah basically fu*koff.

“it’s not rocket science” No, rocket science is actually relatively simple you moron. Ever seen a firework?

I am not….. but. Invariably means they are going to do or be whatever they say they are not

Oooh, another – “not fit for purpose”

“What a beautiful baby”

What a load of cack. They all look like Winston Churchill sucking a beetroot. They shit in their pants and make lots of noise. I have buckets of oil more beautiful than any baby because they’re no more beautiful than a rat litter.

But you can’t tell the mother her baby looks like a sumo wrestler with constipation.

That’s the crazy world we live in.

“yeah, no”

well which one is it???????

Swap out!

Why, when swap, or change will do perfectly?

Oh and the best one, we’re all in this together

‘the boy’ when commentators are talking a wendyballist
**** OFF !

banter

people who say the word ‘literally’ when they mean ‘actually’ or ‘figuratively’. boils my p1ss

Wendyball

Gonna – especially when used by Mr Cameron, our glorious leader, for reasons too obvious to explain…

“Can I get”

No, you can have or **** off.

Apparently, when people mean supposedly.

Any business speak BS.

“First world problem”

I hate it!

“Make no mistake” … a certain US bloke started saying this in his speech then the rest follow him.

Most of them can be summed up from a football managers vocab.

At the end of the day, lads, I know that we should all be moving forward in this day & age, to be honest, but I literally can’t think of any… Innit, like.

🙂

oh and big mention to basically, literally and like. The campus language here at Nottingham.

Most of them can be summed up from a football managers vocab.

No they can not!

Wendyball boils my p1ss as does chavball. If you don’t like it there is always the vegetarian option. F*ck off.

New sale every day! Xmas sale today! Every time you scroll up or down the page you’ll accidentally click on this advert! Thank **** it’s gone 🙁

Oh, and the flying ox – it’s not all about sleep, nappy or food. At this age they’re also suffering massive growing pains which = “fractious”. Often, there’s absolutely zero you can do to stop them shouting.

there is always the vegetarian option

Go on then, I’m intrigued, what is the vegetarian option ?

“Chew the fat” ewwww

Can I get +1

People who ask for coffee in coffee barista language. Eg

“Can I get a regular skinny latte to go?”

When they should ask “can I have a Latte with skimmed milk to take away please?”

(Or better still, can I have a white coffee please)