Don’t worry, he’s not dead or owt.

I’ve worked with him for nearly 20 years and today is his last day. Our factory is closing and he is the first one to find another job.

I’ll miss the…

Obscene emails.
The practical jokes.
The stupid conversations.
The bizarre stuff on the notice boards.
The piss taking of friends and colleagues.
The following me to the toilet and timing me then sending a detailed breakdown of time spent on the loo and time spent wiping my ass.*
The pouring over maps and plotting rides.
The having a brew at the bikes shed whilst pointing out what is wrong with the bikes in it and with the world in general.
The lending him stuff and not getting it back, sometimes for years.
The lingering stench of his numerous beauty products in the showers.
The having conversations over the internet, despite us being sat only 50 yards apart.

Today he goes and there will only be sensible people left, and after that there will be no one at all.

See you on the trails fella… probably this afternoon actually, me and Julie are setting off at about 2:45.

*I won’t miss that. It was too weird, even for him.

I’ll miss that awesomely MASSIVE bruise!

Good luck in the new job fella.

Never mind all that guff, has he brought in farewell cakes?

Good luck to the pair of you! You’re not alone. Debs finishes at her place today. Unemployment seems to be quite the thing nowadays. It really is an 80’s revival

On the plus side, Derek has an absolutely awesome corporate ID designed for his new venture. Which is sure to guarantee success 😀

Never mind all that guff, has he brought in farewell cakes?

Its samosas in this office.

Any excuse and a couple of hundred samosas arrive.

Average duration for contents of the boxes SECONDS

When the samosas arrive, its like watching a pack of piranha feeding on some poor and unfortunate creature.

I’ve never met him, but I’m certainly missing him from my place of work!

Damn dusty in here after reading HtS’s post.

I have been working in this role since December 10th 1990.

That was a quiet day news wise:

– Hindu-Muslim rebellion in Hyderabad-Aligargh India, 140 die
– Soyuz TM-10 lands
– Space Shuttle STS 35 (Columbia 11) lands

This would have been new and very cool:

There’s no doubting it was a long time ago. I will miss all the stuff HtS has listed and a few other things that have slipped my mind or burrowed into my sub-conscious mind.

I am excited, nervous, sad and loads of other stuff. A big meat sack of emotions this morning.

*sniffs*

Factory? Was it a Pasty factory.

I thought you’d thrown a sickie.

Fancy a brew?

Can I pinch some milk?

The following me to the toilet and timing me then sending a detailed breakdown of time spent on the loo and time spent wiping my ass.*

Just how long do you spend wiping your donkey? 😆

Derek, you’ve been in that job from before I was born!

Have fun in new job!!

Proper northern farewell fare.

Cheese & onion rolls
Sausage rolls
2 x boxes of Roses.

Calm down Binners

Can I pinch some milk?

Now I’m reminiscing!

Derek, you’ve been in that job from before I was born!

the young do come out with some depressing comments on occasion 🙁

What’s his leaving present? Some bar end plugs?

I’m sure his baptism by fire when he first posted here made up for at least a few of the practical jokes.

Cheese and onion roll sounds good, as does a samosa… Hungry now.

brant – Member

Can I pinch some milk?

Now I’m reminiscing!

Leave it! Or I’ll take the fuse out of the central heating system again.

Save us a cheese and onion roll derek

Solo, where do you work?

Coventry by any chance?

If you’d have spent less time pissing about and more time working then perhaps your factory wouldnt be closing 😛

Our factory has made a profit fot 104 of the last 105 years.

It is being moved to the new plant in China because it makes money!

new plant in China

🙄

There will be nothing left in England before long….

There will be nothing left in England before long….

Correct… and we will have to pay through the nose for everything as fuel costs and Chinese labour costs increase.

Is the British climate suited to rice crops?

I imagine we’ll all be bent double in a paddy field in the next 15 years – wearing a triangular hat.

new plant in China

There will be nothing left in England before long….

The last 2 companies I’ve worked for (including this one) have closed factories and moved production to China.

Is the British climate suited to rice crops?

Not rice, potatoes. Start your potato empire now as I will need a supplier when I move to China and launch my ‘English Takeaway’ chain on the newly affluent Chinese population.

Beauty Products?!?
Always, always keep the receipt.

Good luck Derek.
Don’t forget to have a dump in your favourite trap, tell the office asshat what you really think of them, steal all the staplers and paperclips you can, fart in the lift, ogle your favourite colleagues and thank the cleaners.

ogle your favourite colleagues

😯

Yeah, you know:
Last chance to have a gimp at that lass in accounts with the shirt potatoes, last flirty conversation with the hot receptionist, one last chance to ask the girl in the canteen how soft her baps are today.

That sort of thing.

He’s just writted W*NKER in the dust on my car. Unfortunately it has scratched it in and will need buffing out.

The massive ass hole.

😆

HtS – that wasn’t Derek… 😉

Anyroad up, good luck fella. No doubt I’ll be seeing you knocking about at some point.

It was. I saw him.

😆

Best of luck to both of you. It’s always weird and a bit crap when things change, particularly closures. Something tells me you’ll both be fine. 🙂

Did I really write “writted” up there? 😯

It was a typo, I’m not a complete moron.

rossi46 – Member

There will be nothing left in England before long….

Not in my industry, we are at least 1/2 the price of anything from China & about a 1/3 less than anything in mainland Europe.

To quote the main equipment supplier for our industry (Swiss) “the UK is the most advanced & efficient producer in the world by a massive margin”

That’s not to say we’re not killing each other in our race to be top dog but for once in an industry that is many 100’s of years old we lead the world by some margin 🙂

And remember ‘plug those bars!’