You are too old for the pink Calpol and have to take the manky orange stuff…

Any other memories?

You understand what puberty is.

You stop wanting to mess about on bikes.

Oh. Hold on….

Fun becomes exercise

is it over?

…you get access to the internet.

You start getting clothes instead of toys at Birthdays/Christmas

You realise school involves boring work rather than sticking dried pasta onto cardboard and decorating with glitter

You meet ” big fat fanny”, she was such a naughty….

…..you don’t fancy playing swing football anymore.

‘the floor is lava’ becomes ‘ski cross training’

you no longer fancy your friend’s mum, and now fancy his wife?

(did consider daughter but that’s too far……even if she is 23 now)

When your dad gets rid of your beloved cat just because your mum’s bought a £900 Pug.

When you are no longer filled with wonder and awe at the slightest thing and when you realise what death really is. Depressing, but that about sums it up.

High School starts, or so we’ve learnt this last week or so.

He went a kid, returned a few hours later as ‘Kevin the Teenager’ only he’s only 11.

And he’s lost all our spoons somehow.

He also told me today about he had to take TWO bags to school and how he had to carry them ALL DAY! I’ve seen Vietnam vets with two thousand yard stares talk in less horrowing terms about their days in ‘the shit’.

When the cell door clinks shut!

When scabs take weeks to heal rather than days..

… you tell your dad that someone said **** on telly and get a stingy crack on the back of the head.

Watched Grizzly Man docunetary with my 5 YO son because he loves the music, completely forgot about the swearing. Feel awful about it now.

You don’t grow out of your shoes.

You get bullied for the first time, and realise that adults would rather you kept quiet than give them problems to deal with,

You’re tall enough to climb really tall trees…

…but can’t be bothered.

jonnyboi – Member
You get bullied for the first time, and realise that adults would rather you kept quiet than give them problems to deal with,

Not sure if that was aimed at me but it seems likely. I’m not a perfect dad by any means but the shock of hearing a very small person say a word which stw won’t let me type is intense.

Believe me, you don’t react rationally in the way you might if they threw their carrot sticks at the cat.

My own grandad did the same to me for uttering the sinful word, “damn” but I still loved him once I got over my (small) self.

You go down t’ pit.

not quite childhood is over, but you know you’re old when you’ve got the Liverpool game on, and you recognise the summariser’s voice but when you look at the screen the face doesn’t match what you expected

He was a teenager last time I looked!

Your Grandad dies 🙁

Your mum and dad have died and the all welcoming forever open under any circumstances day or night door to an emergency home is closed forever.

Primula eaten off your finger doesn’t taste amazing.

Your farts start smelling like your Dad’s.

Marin – Member

Your mum and dad have died and the all welcoming forever open under any circumstances day or night door to an emergency home is closed forever.

Thought I was depressed enough discussing 1984 earlier on, but thanks for putting things into perspective.
🙁

Your Dad says let’s go for a game of rounders with your mates on Sunday and you say Yes, then get cold feet because you realise your second year at secondary school soon and its not cool for you to be seen playing rounders with your Dad anymore in front of your ‘bezzy mates’. So you go quiet, and then start crying because you don’t want to let him down but you don’t want to lose cred at school. Then he gets it out of you and he say’s it’s ok, but you can tell something’s changed for you both. Last of the summer wine.

You realise how expensive cheese is.

When’ “you” understand! punctuation?

when you discover pornography.

Mine was over when I received first ‘grown-up’ bike at 11yrs. First outing – rode it to the park minding own business, decided (stupidly) to climb a tree, resting bike on ground below me. Some lads turned up, didn’t recognise them, so probably from another school. They seemed to think that both me and my bike would look better dented by a good old-fashioned stoning. It was difficult to exit the tree because of flying stones but I finally dropped and fled, all I could think of was removing my new bike from the situation/ further damage.

You first begin to grow up when you realise that:

1. Now you have to pick yourself up

and

2. Other humans will knock you down so as to give themselves a ‘pick-up’.

Buy your first pack of 3…

when you have to spend loads of money on really boring shit like washing machines and lawn mowers

Never

When your life becomes an endless cycle of doing things that you don’t want to do. 😥

When you reach stage 2 on the Santa Claus scale.

1. Believe in Santa
2. Don’t believe in Santa
3. You are Santa
4. Look like Santa

First day in the office and you realise there’s three times as long doing this as you’ve already been alive. Childhood is but an epic blip.