My father’s a nice guy, on a fairly superficial level.

He’s never given me any useful advice, though he is a good example: I’ve always ensured my moral compass is better set than his.

(Thanks to BillMC for the excerpt of Polonius’s speech to his son, Laertes – I love Hamlet.)

Don’t trust your boss .

A bit of extreme dadvice from the BBC website. Worth a read.

A lesson from Dad

It was about women and unfortunately I didn’t take it..!

A few of there are the same or similar to those posted before but anyway:

Better late in this world than early in the next.
If it floats, f##ks or fly’s, rent it.
Always try to say yes the first time you’re asked to do something as you can then not be accused of never doing it.
Bravery needs witnesses.
When you meet a girl make sure you also fancy her mother as that is what she will end up like.
Never drink in a pub with a flat roof.
Everyone on the road is an idiot, and you’re the biggest idiot of them all.
Don’t buy a dog and bark yourself.
Never drink beer that is less than 4% proof, you may as well not bother.
Always buy a good bed and good shoes as if you’re not in one you’re in the other.
You can tell a lot about a person by their shoes.

“Hold you hard nip”
Was actually advice from his father to him, which he then shared with me.
Basically dont rush in without thinking.
Wise indeed, shame he didnt listen to my advise about him smoking. 😥

Stick to what you’re good at. Pay somebody else to do the rest

“Make sure the hidden stuff is done as well as the visible stuff. Then you’ve done a job you can be proud of.”

“You may have right of way, but he’s got an articulated lorry.”

My grandad: If you can’t get the scratches out, just make them all go the same way.

A friend’s dad to his daughter, when she started going on dates: “If you can’t be safe, put it in your mouth.”

😯

Anything with boobs or wheels will cost you money in the end.

Not a thing from Dad
He did laugh when I told him the one about “if it has wings, t1ts or wheels its gonna cost you.”
It was a hollow sounding laugh…

Snap!

Never trust a man with a beard

Your Dad was Margaret Thatcher? 😯

Absolutely nothing at all.
Dont be a **** like he is ? Does that count?

Thankfully not what my kids will say about me.

my dad was a useless muppet… my great uncle on the other hand gave me this advice, passed on to him by my great grandfather before he went to fight in WW2. “If you are ever in a war with the Americans on your side… make sure they are in front of you”… he was one of 3 out of his unit to come back from the D-Day landings

MTB-Idle. – I hate football and have a beard. Don’t introduce me to your Dad…

“If you are ever in a war with the Americans on your side… make sure they are in front of you”…

Ha. My Granddad was at the pointy end of the invasion of Europe and said something along the lines of everybody having to duck when the Americans were bombing.

@ harry the spider 😆

There’s a couple that I still work to…

“Never trust a tradesman who doesn’t have his name on his van”.

“Never buy cheap tools. Buy the best you can afford”.

Advice? From my father? He gave me nothing except pain and suffering.

I got more advice from my uncles best friend who I would see about once every two years. We would play tennis and he always encouraged me and had some wise words to say.

Sadly he fell off a roof, had severe brain damage and went into a coma. He died a month later.

How I wished it was my father instead of him.

Life can be pretty cruel, good people die and leave loving families behind, absolute monsters live and leave a trail of broken lives behind.

‘You’re going to go deaf if you don’t turn that down.’

Also bombed by the Americans – Burma this time.
🙂

Two from my old dad, bless him – not sure how useful they are, never any use to me…

1 – Never trust a man with a Windsor knot in his tie.
2 – If anyone ever asks you to carry something through customs for them, say no. (Genuinely. My dad was an intelligent man, although not well-travelled, and he delivered this gem on the eve of my first ever trip abroad.)

With regards to politics but works in most things, Whatever your opinion on something there will always be someone who completely disagrees.

“Don’t do what I did”

After I’d told him I didn’t need two sleeping bags when going to Scout camp in February:

“Any c*** can be cold”
He was right, it was bloody freezing and I was glad of the second bag.
I never worry about taking too many warm clothes etc away now if I’ve got the space!

His only other real gem that I’ve found useful was:
“Never assume a woman is pregnant unless you can actually see a baby emerging from between her legs”.

Si

“Life’s not fair”.

egb81 – Member
… Whatever your opinion on something there will always be someone who completely disagrees.

Ah, dad was a STW regular eh? 🙂

Dropping me at the train station to go to a party aged 17: “if you’re going to get pissed stay away from drugs, if you’re going to get high don’t drink”

That the only advice I remember anyway…

Sharp tools are much safer than blunt ones.

He then taught me how to sharpen tools properly.

Not exactly a piece of advice but a nice anecdote;

Was building my first FS from a second hand frame and lots of bits that had slowly been upgraded on my hardtail.

Constant criticism from the old man, I wouldn’t do it like that…. ouhhh don’t round that etc.

To be fair the old man has an electrical and engineering background and can put his hand to most things. Anyway to stave off the constant criticism I said “here put this on”, gave him a seat and layback seatpost (how bad can you mess that up right?).

Finished the bike, not a single glitch, quick test ride, something didn’t feel right, seat angle was a mile off…. no it wasn’t he fitted the seat back to front.

He got some abuse for that!

Don’t get nekkid up a sacred mountain

On my 18th

All advice whether it’s about shoe colour with suits, length of cuff, or how to treat a woman, when boiled down to stock can be summed up very simply “don’t be a dick”

also

Never start a sentence: “No offence, but…”

From my grandad: “Beware small men and cripples”

Cut away from your hand, only once did i not heed that advise. 🙄

“Never have a dog you couldn’t kill with your bare hands..”

He always had Jack Russels.
Nasty bloody things too.

Years later a young nephew overheard me reciting this to his older brother.
A few days later his teacher questioned his Mum about his Uncle that goes round killing dogs…
He seemed quite proud as he regaled his Y1 class with tales of epic Uncle vs Dog battles. 🙂

Polonious’s speech to Laertes is full of dramatic irony, as the old man doesn’t really follow his own advice – he just likes the idea of being seen as a wise old sage.

In reality he is an interfering albeit ineffective manipulator. And on this the Bard is right – often the people most vocal about giving advice are the least trustworthy and just want to influence/control people.

Sadly my dad died when I was 14 but I do remember this one snippet:
“Never ask someone to do something that you aren’t prepared to do yourself”.
I’m not sure how useful that’s been tbh. Roof’s a mess and the electrics are shocking.

Keep away from women, they bring rags to you a@@e. (Mrs O excepted, of course!).