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Nobody puts baby in the corner (Dirty Dancing)
"We need to get this man to a hospital"
"Why what is it?"
"It's a big building with doctor's, but that's not important right now"
Shooter McGavin: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Happy Gilmore: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
"We had 2 bags of grass, 53 pellets of mescaline, 2 sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt-shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-coloured uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, a quart of Tequila, a quart of rum and a pint of raw Ether...not that we needed all that for the trip, but when you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can."
Hunter S Thompson (Johnny Depp), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
We'll never get caught. We're on a mission from God.
Jake: What is this?
Elwood: What's what?
Jake: This car. This stupid car. Where's the Cadillac? The Caddy, where's the Caddy?
Elwood The what?
Jake: The Cadillac we used to have! The Bluesmobile!
Elwood Traded it.
Jake: You traded the Bluesmobile for this?!
Elwood: No ... for a microphone.
Jake: A microphone? [pause] Okay, I can see that. But what the hell is this?
Elwood: I picked it up at the Mount Prospect police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving them away.
Jake: Well thank you, pal. The day I get out of prison, my own brother comes to pick me up in a police car.
Elwood You don't like it?
Jake: [pause] No, I don't like it.
[Elwood jumps the car over an opening drawbridge]
Jake: [impressed] Car's got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It's got a cop motor, a 440-cubic-inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters, so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[Jake tries to use the car's lighter, but it does not work; he throws it out the window]
Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.
"Would everbody please stop getting shot"
"Guns for show, knives for a pro"
"A little bit of violence never hurt anyone"
"you don't like the average horti****inculturist"
"if the milk turns sour, i aint the kind of pussy to drink it"
"otherwise know as an 'oribble c**t"
I prefer "it doesn't include the amp, it doesn't include the speakers and it's not supposed to included me getting the hump"
"What else to I get with it? You get a gold plated Rolls Royce as long as you pay for it!"
A film full of classic one liners
Twin Town
Lady: "Cwm Donking Bowls Club"
Taxi Driver: "**** Off, I'm Busy"
Lady: "Thankyou very much"
Sorry for the cut and paste but there's some pearlers in here.
Star Wars
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you
smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to
pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all
killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in
that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the
mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal
body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but
she's got it where it counts, kid."
The Empire Strikes Back
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a
while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that huh, kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I
thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
Return of the Jedi:
14. "We have orders to give it only to Jabba."
13. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it
something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my
work." (C3PO)
12. "Hey, point that thing someplace else." (Han)
11. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will
call me master." (Emporer)
10. "You're a jittery little thing,
aren't you?" (Leia)
9. "I never knew I had it in me." (C3PO)
8."Someone must've told them about my little maneuver at the battle
of Taanab." (Lando)
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it." (Luke)
6. "If I told you half the things I've heard about this
Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short circuit." (C3PO)
5. "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can."
(Jerjerrod) with reply "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate
them." (Darth)
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab
it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy,
easy, hold me, Chewie. Chewie!" (Han) with "A little higher, just
a little higher." (Lando)
3. "Short help's better than no help at
all." (Han)
2. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I
owe you one." (Han)
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!" (Han)
"Gentleman, your all ****s!"
Sexy Beast
Anything from Anchorman
Oh and :
"Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Mike: Vegas!"
"Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.
Trent: Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we ****ed. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days"
"Trent: You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...
Sue: ...big ****ing teeth, man.
Trent: Yeah... big ****in' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
Sue: Shivering.
Trent: Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Sue: And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Trent: Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
Sue: And you got these ****ing claws and these fangs...
Trent: And you got these ****ing claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Sue: You're like a big bear, man.
Mike: So you're not just like ****ing with me?
Trent: No I'm not ****ing with you.
Sue: Honestly, man."
"[It's 2:32am, and Mike decides to call Nikki, a girl he met just a few hours ago]
[Nikki's machine picks up: Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message]
Mike: Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike. I met you at the, um, at the Dresden tonight. I just called to say that I had a great time... and you should call me tomorrow, or in two days, whatever. Anyway, my number is 213-555-4679 -
[the machine beeps]
Mike: [Mike calls back, the machine picks up]
Mike: Hi, Nikki, this is Mike again. I just called cuz it sounded like your machine might've cut me off when I, before I finished leaving my number. Anyway, uh, and, y'know, and also, sorry to call so late, but you were still at the Dresden when I left so I knew I'd get your machine. Anyhow, uh, my number's 21 -
[the machine beeps]
Mike: [Mike calls back; the machine picks up again]
Mike: 213-555-4679. That's it. I just wanna leave my number. I didn't want you to think I was weird or desperate, or... we should just hang out and see where it goes cuz it's nice and, y'know, no expectations. Ok? Thanks a lot. Bye bye.
[hangs up]
Mike: [Mike walks away from the phone... then walks back and calls again; once again, the machine picks up]
Mike: I just got out of a 6-year relationship, Ok? That should help explain why I'm acting so weird. I just wanted you to know that. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry... This is Mike.
[hangs up]
Mike: [Mike calls back, the machine picks up again]
Mike: Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just call me when you get in? I'm gonna be up for awhile and I'd just rather speak to you in person instead of trying to fit it all into -
[the machine beeps]
Mike: ****!
[Mike calls back, gets the machine again]
Mike: Uh, Nikki? Mike. It's uh, uh, it's just, uh, this just isn't working out. I think you're great, but maybe we should just take some time off from each other. It's not you, it's me. It's what I'm going through, alright? It's uh... it's only been 6 months ...
Nikki: [picks up] Mike?
Mike: [very cheerful] Nikki? Great! Did you just walk in or were you listening all along?
Nikki: Don't ever call me again.
[hangs up]
Mike: Wow. I guess you're home."
'you think that's a schwinn !" bradd pitt in ' burn after reading'
The cars TIP TOP mutha ****er LOL..
rob roy was pretty rubbish but it had some good lines....
Archibald Cunningham:
Think of yourself a scabbard, Mistress McGregor, and I the sword. And a fine fit you were, too.
Archibald Cunningham:
It is years, Your Grace, since I (rhymes with muggered) a boy... And in my own defense, I must add, I thought him a girl at the moment of entry.
blade trinity
"you cock juggling thunderc##t!"
go get your f.....g shine box....
Car Rental Agent: Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fing dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fing, cheeks! Then you can give me a fing automobile: a fing Datsun, a fing Toyota, a fing Mustang, a fing Buick! Four fing wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fing nowhere with fing keys to a fing car that isn't fing there. And I really didn't care to fing walk down a fing highway and across a fing runway to get back here to have you smile in my fing face. I want a fing car RIGHT FING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You're f***ed!
and
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!
Some of these quotes are cr@p.. 
😈
dude, you got a tatoo
sweet, you got one too
dude, what does mine say
sweet, what does mine say
dude, what does mine say
sweet, what does mine say
DUDE, what does mine say
SWEET, what does mine say
Dude where's my car
'Racing is life, anything else is just waiting.....
Le Mans
Can't believe noone has mentioned anything from The Princess Bride yet...you're all philistines!!
Inigo Montoya to the Six-fingered Man:
[i]Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. [/i]
"it starts with oh and ahh"
"then the running and screaming and killing starts"
Jeff Goldblum - Jurassic Park
why do some people suggest some of these whole scenes are one liners?
Because if it was best scene then the point where Harry's been bumped around town before finally 'meeting' scorpio is superb.
Also contains a great one liner I just remembered: "Take out your piece! (Callahan takes out his Magnum) - "My! That's a big one!"
"You talking to me? Well I'm the only one here" [url=
"Is it safe?" (Watching Marathon Man right now.. what a classic)
"Where's yer tool?"
"What ****in' tool?"
"THIS ****in' tool!"
you've got to ask yourself 'do I feel lucky?' Well do ya punk?
this one time, at bandcamp, I stuck a flute in my pu$$y
Must be a king, he's not got sh1t all over him.
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
Can't believe noone has mentioned anything from The Princess Bride yet...you're all philistines!!
incontheivable
Bend and snap
Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little Girl: Oh, that's very nice of you, thank you.
[takes coffee]
Little Girl: Oh, won't you sit down?
Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.
From the Life of Brian
Crowd - We're all individuals here
Voice at the back - I'm not!
"big fat get, ya need milking!"
Billy Casper, Kes
There's some strange shit going on here Cole-man.
Eddie Murphy- Trading places.
"Coffee, not sex" - Saturday Night Fever.
Obviously "Monty, you terrible c***" as well!
kinda copied by Michael Mann in Public Enemies.
"Well, I believe in the soul, the c*ck, the p*ssy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."
"Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody."
"He's not going to say '**** stick' in front of the children, is he?"
"If I call you next December, *IF* I call you next December, you're gonna be so happy to hear from me, you're gonna do a goddamn back flip. You're gonna put that Santa hat on so fast that you're gonna get ****ing hat-burn."
"Why don't you wish in one hand, and $h!t in the other? See which one fills up first."
...and practically every other line from Bad Santa
From The Wanderers -
To sow the seen - local mafiasi daughter gets knocked up and he has a "quiet" word with the lad -
Know I used to **** around with girls when I was younger, but not with anybodies daughter!!
WARRIORS! COME OUT TO PL-AYY!
Can't believe noone has mentioned anything from The Princess Bride yet...you're all philistines!!
Very true.
This one's a bit long, but well worth it...
Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?
Vizzini: [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
Man in Black, Vizzini: [they drink ]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...
Vizzini: [Vizzini stops suddenly, and falls dead to the right]
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
"Who took the jam out of your doughnut"
That's why I never kiss'em on the lips.
Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Spiderpig! Spiderpig!
Predator
Blane - your a bunch of slack jawed faggots, this stuff 'ill make you a gaddamn sexual tyranosaurus, just like me.
Poncho - You're hit man you're bleeding
Blane - I ain't got time to bleed.
No Highlander yet?
No one for the funniest line in Withnail?
"I mean to have you boy, even if it must be burglary"
Classic.
Platoon
Bunny "I told the padre the truth man, I like it here. Get to do what you want, nobody f***s with you. The only worry you got is dying"
Dr Stangeglove
The President "You can't fight here! This is the war room! "