My tongue is somewhere restricted by an over-zealous frenulum. For years, I have imagined getting drunk past the point of feeling anything and cutting it. I don’t imagine it would end very well – but it would answer a few things. Anyone ever tried it to stop me answering it myself one drunken night?

My tongue is somewhere restricted by an over-zealous frenulum

How exactly?

It stops you licking your eyebrows?

It can hinder breast feeding, not sure that would be your issue though Jimmy?

It came back to mind recently when my daughter was asking me to lick my nose and my tongue just passes my top lip.

It can be done as a surgical procedure.  don’t DIY it

I got confused with banjo string and couldn’t figure out what you were trying to achieve for a bit.

Keeping the mrs happy hey? It’s basically a tongue-tied operation isn’t it? I suspect you’ll bleed a decent bit and will need to beware of infection perhaps.

It can hinder breast feeding

Lower lower

My son had the same issue when very young, the doctor said that if it ever became an “erm um slight cough” issue for anything in the future it could be simply fixed. His twin sister by contrast could have licked the back of her own neck.

“I got confused with banjo string and couldn’t figure out what you were trying to achieve for a bit.”

I have torn that, during vigorous jiggy actions and then came up with the swimmingly brilliant idea that slapping something antiseptic in it might be a good plam. Witch hazel gel  was not one of my better drunken ideas. Dear god it made the initial tear rip all the blood fade away into significance, it was a good 30 minutes before i could breath properly through the snot and tears

Thought you meant the penis for a second… wth.

Go see your GP you crazy bloke and leave your tongue alone.

What possible reason would a GP take for referring that on for surgery? Umm, doc, I want to lick my nose to impress my daughter…

Lower lower

Once upon a time…

It came back to mind recently when my daughter was asking me to lick my nose and my tongue just passes my top lip.

Yeah that’s pretty normal then others touch the tip of their nose.

There’s bound to be a YouTube video for that…

will need to beware of infection perhaps.

This will be you your main concern. That and you’ll prob make a right hash of it!

Any ideas on how to stitch the would closed if it gets too big?

It’s so thin, it’ll be healed by the time I wake up. Right?

@tazzymtb – yup, been there, done that and by god it was a lot of blood. Took ages to get the carpet clean.

it’ll be healed by the time I wake up

Or you’ll drunkenly choke to death on your own blood.

If they can do this to it…

My second child had this done, since it was hindering breast feeding as someone suggested above.  All that happened was the paediatrician made a little cut with a scalpel.  He was only a few months old at the time, and he didn’t really scream his head off either, so probably getting drunk isn’t needed (and could make it more risky).

Have a go I say, how will you ever know otherwise.  Film it, though, please 😀

Anyone ever tried it to stop me answering it myself one drunken night?

Yes, had exactly the same problem. Pint of vodka and some boxcutters fixed it. Small sample size though, let us know how you get on.

My son had it done at a few weeks/a month old as he was having trouble feeding, they just held his mouth open, snipped it with a scalpel and gave him to my Mrs to breastfeed straight away.

I don’t remember him being uncomfortable or having any issues afterwards. We were surprised that there wasn’t any pain relief but apparently it wasn’t needed.

Our daughter had it done but by all accounts babies don’t have fully developed nerves. Don’t know if that’s true, but I was also told it’s pretty painful to have it done as an adult.

I lost mine in plastic surgery after a nasty bike crash…. I don’t really miss it.