Actually for Mrs Danny. She’s decided she had enough of drinking and is looking to stop completely.

I’m not going to be joining her but will support her any way I can.

Background-she doesn’t have a drink problem per se but finds it difficult to not have a couple of drinks each night and thinks it would be easier for her just to stop altogether than try and cut right down as once she’s had even one drink she wants a couple more and then the next night etc.

I can take it or leave it so don’t have to be drinking in front of her or anything…

Don’t keep any drink in the house.

Don’t have any booze in the house and maybe don’t buy any for yourself in the first few weeks. If its there, temptation is very easy.. Its an addictive habit.

I find having fizzy water in the fridge helps you have something to hand whilst relaxing in the evening, and is weirdly more satisfying that plain water.

Another vote for decent alternatives in the fridge or cupboard.

I would say also keep off the booze yourself for a few weeks to give mrs dbg a bit of moral support – no fun for her if you come home happy and wobbly legged after she’s spent an evening on the Evian.

Edit: I rarely drink at all these days. I’m the person who’s happy to drive to the booze fest night out, drink coke or lime and soda all evening and not feel left out. 5-6 years ago I would have got stuck into the beers as much as most people so it’s totally doable.

any tips for going teetotal? -> don’t drink. hth. 😉

I just stopped about 8 years ago. Don’t really miss it and the amount of money you save is seriously depressing! For once in my life I have money in my pocket to spend on nice things for wife and I. The only thing you have to get used to is everyone thinking you were an alcoholic or you get wild when you drink. You can have a bit of fun with this!

I ended up reducing my intake to an average of 2 pints a week. And tbh this is a lot easier than teetotal.

Have a look at the drink aware app if she goes down a ‘reduce until zero’ route. Also quite handy for giving annual estimates. Even a low intake results in pretty massive annual amounts!

What gets measured gets managed!

Edit, around 31200 calories per year at my rate of consumption.

Luckily we only have drink in the house on an as when basis so don’t have to be pouring anything away (except my whisky collection but she doesn’t like whisky anyway).

I’m more than happy to stay of the stuff as well for a few weeks. Most I drink is a couple of bottles of beer once or twice a week usually. Think I’ve been out and actually got so maybe twice or three times in the last year.

Good shout on having something else in the house and she’s going to try a couple of hobbies as something to do instead.

@piemonster – she’s an all or nothing kind of person. It’s easier for her to have nothing at all.

I found it’s difficult to break the habit initially but once you’re into it- give it a few days- it’s ok and gets loads easier. Not ‘easy’ by any stretch, but doable and worth doing because from my experience I felt loads better for not making a habit of having a drink every night, not to excess, but maybe a G&T then a glass of wine with dinner.

Decent alternatives are good. I like herbal teas (which also helped loads with kicking caffeine into touch although I still have a cup of coffee in the morning). Sugar free cranberry juice drink is also worth having in the fridge. If you can combine stopping drinking with eating a little cleaner (less refined sugars) then you’ll feel fitter and probably lose a little excess flab to boot without actually having to do any extra exercise- win win! 😀

edit- I’ve used ‘you’ as a general ‘you’, not ‘you’ personally OP. This thread might be handy for others doing the same thing.

I stopped completely for a year (I was on medication that did not mix) but since then I seem to have lost my taste for it. I very very occasionally have a glass of wine or a small whiskey but have no real urge to drink beyond that. Not sure if it helps but my experience is that if you do stop for a while you lose the taste for it and it is easier to stay off!

I’ll probably go dry for January and February to give my liver a break and help shift the Christmas weight gain, so I’ll be stocking up on sparkling water, teabags and a case of Coke for an occasional treat 🙂

I don’t get a great of pleasure from the effects of alcohol, and I get a better nights sleep without a glass of wine in me, but I struggle to sit down with a juicy pork chop, risotto, chicken casserole or beef stew and not miss a glass of wine or beer to go with it…

I class myself as teetotal but my mate always asks me to try a sip of whiskey or beer if he gets a new one in to see what I think.

This led me to buy some Jack Daniels the other week but aye oh it’s Xmas and there is still half of it left……

An acquaintance of mine had a major drinking problem, stopped and replaced the booze with speciality cordials. I’ve never heard of them as to me, cordial is cordial, but the point I’m making is he felt the need to replace the booze with something rather than leave a gap in his life where it was.

Its useful to look at when Mrs D is drinking, eg with dinner, with friends on a night oit and target those situations in terms of will power/alternatives/your support. I think its the emotional and habit “addictions” which are hardest to break. Personally I find it very difficult not have a few glasses of wine with a nice dinner for example, others find a social situation particularly difficult. I’m not a fan of coke etc and would try and avoid that sort of drink as an alternative.

Good luck

Have a goal?

Buy 7 up instead?

Drink water and green tea.

Get the worst hangover without killing yourself and swear to never drink again?

I went tea total for a few years (10+) then met Finnish in laws who like to drink in sauna naked so I got hammered everyday for a week. 8 beers, shots, whisky, brandy and g/t.

Then just stopped after a week. So surround yourself with people who don’t drink and don’t get Finnish in laws.

I don’t miss the hangovers one bit.

Choice is yours and stick to it. Ride more?

Something I have looked at before, and acheived for a period of time – Stopped boozing for 2 and a bit years, I became a hermit,

I find I can go for weeks without drinking now, sometimes months, and then I find myself buying too many beers or a bottle of whisky

I want to stop completely. I know it is the right option for me.

Good luck to your mrs.

Tonic and a dash of Angostura bitters with a squeeze of lemon juice makes an interesting soft* drink which makes a good substitute for something like a G&T.

* Angostura bitters are alcoholic but you use so little it is de minimis.

My GF gave up a few years ago after an illness (not alcohol related!), just for general health reasons. One thing that annoys her is people assuming she’ll do all the driving as she won’t be drinking. I’d recommend trying to support by still sharing the driving for evenings out – it’ll also mean there is another non-drinker with her half the time.

Been teetotal since I was 18,so 14 years to date. The wife is a social drinker but e don’t have any alcohol in the house anyway, but it really is quite easy and If people do find it difficult than it is perhaps a sign of a drink problem.

Just give up! 15 years now!

Ginger and lemongrass cordial with fizzy water is quite good as something to drink in the evening without cracking open a beer.

If people do find it difficult than it is perhaps a sign of a drink problem.

Maybe people just like the taste?

I like the speciality cordial idea. Will investigate.

When going out, try and go to places that have decent ‘abstinence’ menus. As after a while you will get sick of the usual OJ/Lemonade/Appletiser type drinks.

The hardest bit about not drinking alcohol is constantly having to explain why you don’t.

jam bo – Member
The hardest bit about not drinking alcohol is constantly having to explain why you don’t.

My experience also!

Shindiggy, always useful when someone with no experience of an issue chimes in. Have you ever smoked? If not, why not find someone who wants to quit to tell them how easy it is, or maybe find an overweight person and tell them to stop going to McDonalds.
Do empathy much?

If just substituting does not work ( beware of increasing sugar intake) see the GP for pills or maybe counselling.
Is your wife happy? Has she got anything to occupy her mind when not working?

“Just give up!”

What a childish and unhelpful comment.

If people do find it difficult than it is perhaps a sign of a drink problem.
Maybe people just like the taste?

Absolutely, never enjoyed getting drunk, especially the whole spinny room thing, but I really enjoy the flavour of a really good beer or whisky. Got a whole load in at the moment, Christmas innit, but the spirits will last quite some time; I still have some Caol Isla 1991 that I bought five or six years ago, and a bottle of Yamazaki I was given for my birthday in July, that’s still unopened.
Moderation in everything is key, I think; I really look forward to a couple of pints of whatever is new in my local on a Friday and Saturday night, but I hardly ever go out for a drink any other time.
Good luck to MrsD for the New Year. 😀

Time to be blunt…

If she “finds it difficult not to have a couple of drinks every night” and has to ask for help to stop drinking then I’d say she does have a drink problem. More so if you don’t routinely have drink in the house.

Don’t ever be afraid or ashamed to say that you don’t drink – be proud that you don’t just follow the masses 🙂

I don’t drink, but I wouldn’t recommend my ‘method’ as it involved lots of fractures and 3-4 months on Tramadol.

Anyway, when I quit smoking it was easier to remove temptation – if I had a lapse in will power it rarely lasted long enough for me to get down the shops.

@poly. Agree to an extent and it depends your definition of ‘problem’. She does not get drunk every night – two or three ciders four or five times a week.

But, she cannot stick at just one drink and finds it difficult to take a night of unless she is working.

So yes, strictly speaking she has issues with drink and that is why she is wanting to stop completely.

That said she is not start is class as alcoholic or even strictly alcohol dependent – yet.

Her mother is though and it’s now, although she had stopped drinking, the damage is done and is in care and her sister is well on the way hence her desire to do something about it now.

I’ll support her however I can, even if it means me giving up as well.

Scarey stuff though alcohol. I know loads of people who drink far too much or too often. I’m sure we all do…

go alcohol free or low alcohol.. there are a lot of beers, ciders and wine at lower %age. It does tend to make you a cheap date ..

I knocked it on the head in 1996. Wasn’t that much of a drinker, just woke up and did it one day. I like the clarity of a decision, no middle ground or sitting on the fence. Did it with tabs, dope, opiates, coffee etc. I can’t quite explain it but it’s a great feeling coming to a clear decision, liberating even. Mentally I sort of placed myself with no fuss as a non drinker and there it was.
It could be good will power, but I don’t see it as a ‘battle’, just an alternative that I know is good and I have put myself there. I can’t quite explain it properly I’m afraid. I’ve run this sort of thinking into other areas, breaking decisions down to two clear choices. Brutal honesty is key as I know myself the best and deep down know the right thing to do. I might not like it but ‘right thing’ is the key.
I still fancy getting shit faced know and again though.

I’d say she does have a drink problem.

I don’t think labels are helpful.

When I’ve stopped, having an alternative tasty drink helped like cordials etc.

I’m in the same boat as OP’s wife. It’s something that makes you stand out but it’s not so good imvhe. The times when I’ve been booze-free I’ve been much calmer and have more energy. It’s very hard for social situations esp work though. Stress/anxiety is my reason/underlying cause.

OK its time for me to admit I know I’m a functioning alcoholic, 3 bottles of wine in a day is normal for me on a weekend and easily 2 on a work day (I have taken secrete bottles of brandy etc away on holiday).
I know I must have done myself damage as sometimes my hands shake & I get the sweats.
My excuse to myself is a high pressure job & caring for a very ill wife, I know this is rubbish as others do it without the prop of drink but sometimes it feels like the only thing that blots out the pain.

The problem is that those around me put me on a pedestal of being someone who just gets on with it/knows all the answers. Yet inside I fear everything.
My mother has lived most of her life in much the same way!

I might regret posting this, but who knows

Mr Overshoot – brave of you to state that. I worked for a functioning alcoholic, it took a huge amount for him to open up about the problem, but he got help from his GP and works welfare service. Took several months off work to get through it, but is in a much better place now. Seek help.

OP – a mate quit when he realised the same thing, and has no regrets. I quit for 18 months in my early 20s when too much time and money was being wasted being wasted at weekends. I eventually started drinking again, but two pints is as much as I want at a time now, and only once a week, if that. Nights out with the Dads are a bit odd…..

I think Mr Overshoot it is understandable in your situation. Don’t be hard on yourself – which I know is easier said than done. It’s a cliche but admitting you have a problem is the first part of the solution. As for people putting you on a pedestal, you are still the person putting the love and effort in – even if you feel you are leaning on alcohol more than is ideal.