[Closed] Zombie Apocalypse, what do you reckon your survival chances would be?

I'm just gonna walk around with my arms raised in front of me and groan a bit

No-one'll know ; those zombies are ****ing stoopid

Interestingly my group of friends has a long running post apocalypse survival chance leader board. Cyclist, and cycle repair, rank quite highly as desirable skills.

I'm heading for Llanberis & hoping to blend in.

It's already happened, btw.
Ever been to Walsden?

Cyclist, and cycle repair, rank quite highly as desirable skills.

With you on this, I even know the exact cargo cycle I'm going to half inch when it goes down.

Is it time to nut up or shut up then????

Have it all planned out and know exactly what I'm going to steal when it kicks off. Might take out the neighbours in the first wave 'cos they've always looked a bit dodgy.

Reckon I could pass for a zombie most days so should be able to carry on as normal

This is a fairly regular topic of conversation with my mates too. I've decided I would survive reasonably well, because:
- Live on a farm, reasonably isolated, easy to see the zombie horde approaching over the fields.
- Own a collection of firearms
- Bikes and skills to maintain them.
- And have one of these (It's got to help, right?):
[img] [/img]

Zombies, come at me bro.

cycling ftw! - hide out in the country somewhere, there's less people there anyway. Build a home out of sticks in a forest or take over a deserted mansion, run foraging trips to local towns on my bike. Should be able to last a few years. I do have a hereditary arthritic condition which is kept in check with drugs and regular excercise so I'd be the one on the TV show looking in every pharmacy for my specific medication. The first thing I'd do is get to a warmer country though, Italy?

Big fence around house full oil and water tanks high powered assault rifle and a armoured car if I need to make a break for it.

Quite High, I know karate and have 2 chainsaws.
One of them is electric though so my chances of survival drop by 50% further than 30m from an electrical outlet.

I have watched the Walking Dead/training video it would be really tough to survive I think.

Can these zombies run or are they traditional shufflers. If they can run we are all doomed.

Depends on how quickly the outbreak manifests itself. Living on the outskirts of London I've got a lot of potential undead to get past before getting anywhere remotely secure. Reckon I'd be screwed.

If I make a break for it I'm heading to pocket shepherds as I love stalwarts.

Family man with a child and a pregnant wife at home.

My chances of survival in any horror situation are low.

My only hope would be that the deaths of the [i]"the guy who retires to idyllic life tomorrow"[/i] and the [i]"attractive teenager inexplicably dressed in nightwear"[/i] would buy me enough time to escape.

Chances are high. I'm ready....

Pretty good I reckon.

Using some of the logic above, I'm going to be less attractive to the flesh eating hordes (having lost a few pounds recently) and can probably outrun them too (unless they are the 28 Days Later sort).

I'm also handy with a rifle, pistol or shotgun, can fix cars, know how to weld and have done a fair bit of martial arts in my time. Mind you, I have a pregnant wife right no, so that might be a problem.

Only on bike forum could "being a Cyclist" be thought of as a Zombie Apocalypse survival skill 😀

Zombies eat brains not flesh, and taking that into account I don't think they will bother me much at all.

As a zombie, I would be absolutely fine.

I live on a boat. My chances are high.

Mind you, I have a pregnant wife right no, so that might be a problem.

Love how that's the last thing you mention! 😉

Only on bike forum could "being a Cyclist" be thought of as a Zombie Apocalypse survival skill

I think it's legit, petrol is going to be in short supply pretty quickly, long distance endurance fitness will definitely help at that point.

Would be ace...just find all the pretty lady zombies, take them to an island and let one have a nibble and then spend eternity as ultra zombie stud muffin...boffing the laydeez until it drops offf.

until it drops off

[s]This is a fairly regular topic of conversation with my mates too. I've decided I would survive reasonably well, because:
- Live on a farm, reasonably isolated, easy to see the zombie horde approaching over the fields.
- Own a collection of firearms
- Bikes and skills to maintain them.[/s]

All of the above is irrelevant since you then added

- And have one of these (It's got to help, right?):

[b][i][u]You have a Stalwart? [/b][/i][/u]

Please start up a thread all about it.

This is a serious concern for me at the moment.

In my home town in Hampshire I knew I could quickly get to the local gun shop to pick up a shotgun or two, and then head over to Winchester or Tidworth to pick up more serious weapons and a military vehicle.

At the moment I'm not particularly familiar with my local area and I'm not sure where the local gun shop is. I could quite easily get to Aldershot but I would have to rely on blunt trauma weapons in the first instance.

Although I have a much faster car now, so that's a plus point.

I'm not entirely sure how I'll get across London reach my wife from my office if the outbreak means I'm stranded in Canary Wharf.

High for me, I'm just going to go to the Winchester and wait for it all to blow over. Johns got a breville out the back.

Then once the coast is clear, I want a go in the stalwart!

Will there be any Cornettos?

Yeah boy!

[img] [/img]

PM me your address please PocketShepherd as when it kicks off I'm heading for your gaff, I have a first aid badge and I'll bring cake!!!

I'd go round my in laws at first news and use my MIL as as distraction offering to gain valuable time to escape. On this note I saw a great t shirt the other day, it read "if there's a zombie attack , I'm tripping you".

I think it's legit, petrol is going to be in short supply pretty quickly

a better skill then would be learning how to steal and defend a petrol tanker 😉

long distance endurance fitness will definitely help at that point.

Only if you feel the need to travel long distances.

Fortification in the right location, and sit tight would be my choice.

You're all kidding yourselves. A real survival plan takes into account that early in a zombie situation chances are humans are your biggest problem. Think about it, given that the entire population is involved if you've had an idea so have thousands of others. Got a fast car to escape? Forget it, all the roads are blocked by every last car in the country. Break into the gun shop? Too late, everyone's there already. If you don't already know where you're going, how, with who and what you're taking then you're as good as food. Yes, I've given this a LOT of thought.

Can I recommend the PC game [b]"DayZ"[/b] to anyone?

It's a zombie apocalypse simulator and the most telling thing is that once the initial outbreak dies down the other humans are far more dangerous than the zombies:

a better skill then would be learning how to steal and defend a [s]petrol[/s] diesel tanker

buck53 - Member

What do you make of your chances? What's your survival plan?

Pretty good but that depends on the speed of zombies ... the faster they are the lower my chance of surviving.

Plan is to carry some sort of weapons but since UK law does not permit Benneli M4 I just have to make myself some home made spears, light body armor, light Viking battle axe, get some Kurkri, travel light if the zombies are fast. Prepare for hand to hand combat ... Stay on high ground ... booby trap the place with holes 🙁

[b]You have a Stalwart?[/b]
Stop right there. You. Have. A. Stalwart.
Bar Steward! I'd be heading for your gaff with a small armoury just to get my hands on the Stally! I can't tell you how jealous I am, I've wanted one since I got a little white BP Exploration Matchbox toy.

Is the Stally fitted with the swimming kit?

CountZero - Member

Stop right there. You. Have. A. Stalwart.

Please let me join you in the Stalwart ... 😆

All these too ...

[img] [/img]

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[img] [/img]

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I'll be fine. I have a huge bag of weed.
I'll be so stoned the zombies wont be able to tell i'm not one of them. 😀

a better skill then would be learning how to steal and defend a [s]petrol[/s] diesel tanker

Not really, all of my flame throwers are optimised for petrol 😀

Plus, my armoured hovercraft runs on unleaded too.

I'd find some rabbits and get them breeding.
Then I'd get on my bike with my sack full of bunnies and head for Hampstead Heath.
Bunnies provide:
- fast replicating food
- companionship
- distraction for zombies
- fertiliser/ fuel
- entertainment
- bedding
- clothes

I live in a university town so I'm used to dealing with mindless shuffling idiots. I reckon my chances are quiet high, the OH though is getting tripped up at the first site of ttheapproaching hoard.

I'm on an Oli rig with 80 people, no desalinisation and maybe half a dozen fishing hooks. It would be a brief but mercifully dignified.

You do realise that the zombapocalyse is a metaphor for overpopulation, food and energy shortages of course?

I'd be down to the beach and onto the water quick. Would probably head over to the Isle of Sheppey. The locals shit zombies for breakfast.

Chewkw, yup, more than welcome, along with the pole-arms. Ideal for standing in the roof-hatches and lopping their heads off. Kukri's good for taking the arms off any that try to climb up! 😆

It depends on the zombies.
The slow moving dull witted type would be ridiculously easy to deal with. Just keep moving at an average walking pace and you'd be fine.

It's the sharp, vampire-hybrid types we see in 'I am legend' and the like that are difficult to deal with.

Personally I'd be screwed I reckon. The first one to knock my glasses off would have me as I crawled around on the floor with my nose three inches from the ground as I tried to find them.

Well if anyones seen the World War Z trailer, we are all knackered!

If they shuffle, I'll acquire a gun and lots of canned food 🙂

Firstly if I'm alive it's not an apocalypse is it?

That aside, the stupidification of humanity is creeping rather than overnight, actual zombies will appear in fazes. Firstly we may be able to suppress them with tribal games, cheap alcohol and flickering screens. When this fails it'll be back to medieval tactics of walled towns and moated castles.

Won't work though eventually we will mostly be wiped out with just a few survivors whereupon natural selection will reverse the zombie complex until the next outbreak.

The stally was a bit of an impulse buy, by my dad, quite a few years ago. Nowhere near as tidy as the one I posted, it's been a yard ornament for a fair while. But she does run well, and does float (but the prop shafts, for the actual propellers are missing. AFAIK the rest is there). Getting it out of the river that day was, uh, interesting.

Haven't got many photos of it, this is only one I can find just now.
[img] [/img]

I do feel that giving out my address would somewhat reduce my advantage over the Zombie horde, as a human horde would be arriving on my doorstep! 😉

Rule1# cardio 😆

Poor old girl's looking a bit sorry for herself! Damn, if the lottery coughs up, you'll have mail toot sweet, that's for sure! I would love to get my hands on a Stally, and get some engineering types to try to re-jig the transmission, make it more road-friendly.

[url] http://www.pinkbike.com/video/225690/ ][/url]

I like to think my fate would be something like this

Depends where and when it happened, If in the UK I would have no hope of defending myself I reckon. But if I was over in Estonia I could get my hands on a Saiga 12 which I am familiar with and would be my weapon of choice for a zombie apocalypse.

get some engineering types to try to re-jig the transmission, make it more road-friendly.

Ha, I thought this when the earlier poster mentioned it. If I were choosing a zombie survival vehicle it’d preferably be something with diffs.

Typical STW. All talk about their zombie-fighting prowess.

According to the Craven Herald, you should come to Skipton in October and find out for real...

http://www.cravenherald.co.uk/news/10436643.Skipton_gets_set_for_a_zombie_invasion/?ref=mr&ref=mmsp

So far so good.

Zombies, the ultimate green energy.

Harness them to a wagon and hang a succulent fresh baby in front just out of reach (donkey and carrot style). It would revolutionise transport.

Wonder how long it would take the govt to come up with a new VED then.

(Don't worry about the babies, they're organic free range orphans, and mum and dad are harnessed in the team. 🙂 )

tazzymtb - Member
Would be ace...just find all the pretty lady zombies, take them to an island and let one have a nibble and then spend eternity as ultra zombie stud muffin...boffing the laydeez until it drops offf.

I reckon you have 2-3 thrusts at best.

having spent time in both Wigan and Loughborough I have no doubt I could move about relatively unnoticed if I had to and now, in our rural bolthold we have enough weaponry & catering equipment to hold out until they die off.

LenHankie - Member
"tazzymtb - Member
Would be ace...just find all the pretty lady zombies, take them to an island and let one have a nibble and then spend eternity as ultra zombie stud muffin...boffing the laydeez until it drops offf."
I reckon you have 2-3 thrusts at best.

Just no BJs, remember, zombies swallow.....

I reckon I'd be alright hill top farm next to an airfield helicopter and planes 100 yard away small armoury and enough ammunition to take a small country over and most surrounding houses are armed to the teeth and have big toys like earth moving equipment give me 10mins and it would be like fort knox