Your favourite 'saying'.
'What cake do you want?'
I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
It's a baw hair oot
It's a rattling guid fit
Tights tight
"If you are looking for sympathy it comes between shit and syphilis in a dictionary"
Shit happens.
"Do one legged ducks swim in circles?"
"Does mouse shit roll?"
"It's no way to run a railroad" I like to drop it, calmly, onto the end of a furious rant.
yossarian - Member'He had a face like a haunted cave'
Is [i]brilliant.[/i]
Desperation makes fools of us all.
&
She's got a face like a bag of smashed crabs.
She's got a face like a smacked arse
She's got a face like a bulldog blowing up a football
Put your foot down with a heavy hand
a couple of mine
She's got a face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle
or
She's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
oh and I forgot one I'm constantly repeating at work
'this lot couldn't run a bath'
Don't do today what you can put off till tomorrow
I try and use "she's got a face like fire damaged Lego" as often as possible...
Face like a blind cobbler's thumb.
Some people are walking a fine line between funny sayings and bulls**t bingo gold here...
Mines the one about arguing with morons
That and 'ringfence the unicorn', obviously
I was born at night but not last night.
As much use as a hair net in a thunder storm.
If C***s could fly you'd be a squadron leader.
I'm so hungry I'd eat the beard of Moses.
She looked like a bulldog licking pissy nettles.
As much use as fanny fart.
Some people are walking a fine line between funny sayings and bulls**t bingo gold here...
either that or a load of profanisaurus entries. anyway:
'i can explain it to you, but i can't understand it for you'
'keep up the work'
[url= http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/napoleon_bonaparte.html ]Old Boney has a few favourites[/url]
"Thick as a whale omelette"
"how can I soar with the eagles when I'm surrounded by turkeys?"
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you're a mile away, and you have his shoes."
Stop digging when you're in a hole.
You can out lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.
Seems to sum up a whole range of work and life issues!
I like a few actually -
"Colder than a witches tit" - when refering to cold stuff.
"I've seen more meat on a butchers pencil" - when refering to skinny folk.
"life is not a rehearsal"
"The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse to the trap gets the cheese"
"one life, live it"
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the Stars" - Oscar Wilde
"There is always hope"
Originally from Lord of the rings, but also made famous by Banksy.
"At night all cats are grey"
"Don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die"
"Is that acausal syncronicity or coincidence?"
Nipples like chapel hat pegs
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
'theres no I in team'
'no, but there is a me'
What's the beef, chief?
Also, although I have tried to stop it:
You can't fight city hall.
Face like a haunted cave is ace, nicking that. 🙂
I quite like 'delusions of adequacy'.
Is that supposed to happen?
tomhoward - Member'theres no I in team'
Overheard- "There's no U in team either"
Shaking like Jesus on a jelly cross.
saleem - MemberShaking like Jesus on a jelly cross.
Marvellous
I'm not bald, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.
saleem - MemberI'm not bald, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.
"But it's night!"
"I know :("
old fave from my dear old departed mate Nobby
You might as well have a pi55 in your best hat 😀
And new addition
as blind as a welders dog
enjoyed "face like a haunted cave"
reminded me of a mate in Glasgow telling me about a girl he was seeing with dodgy teeth...
She had a mouth like a blown fuse box....
Shaking like a shitting dog.
Upon leaving the bathroom...I should give it a minute if i were you.
Away and fling s**t at yourself.
A face like a welders bench.
Recently heard,
About as useless as t**s on a fish.
Description of a body builder:
Looks like a brown condom stuffed with walnuts
Favorite Boney one is:
Home soon, don't wash.
Take a long walk off a short pier.
" in the land of the blind, the one eyed man reigns king."
In reference to larger ladies, " by the time you've got through 3 inches of hair and 3 inches of fat, you'll have run out of dick."
" Don't treat kindness as a,weakness. "
In theory there is no difference between practice and theory, but in practice there is.
.
I am also attempting to introduce one of my own to the common venacular, 'As the pig walks.' Self explanatory really, a more circuitous route than that which the crow can fly.
Andrewh, I bet you respond with 'not three bad' when folk ask you how you are, don't you?
No, but I have taken to saying 'Tuesday' (or whatever it is) to people instead of 'morning'. Why only wish them a good morning, why not the whole day?
If you pay peanuts you get a monkey
Nowt as queer as folk
What goes around, comes around
All in regular use with my bemused Chinese coworkers.
reminded me of a mate in Glasgow telling me about a girl he was seeing with dodgy teeth...
She could eat an apple through a letter box......
"She looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a cricket bat."
If ever we drop things or some small moment goes wrong, our 5 and 7 year olds have picked up on, "How do you think that went then?"
About as much use as a... Chocolate fire guard / Ashtray on a motorbike etc
"Keep on the pavement and mind the buses"
"You can give the pencils out tomorrow"
"Worse things happen at sea" - ALWAYS said to me by my Grandfather, just before I'd go windsurfing! However my personal favourite and one of his overused sayings is I like to use a lot is....
"It's nice to be nice"
