Can be self-constructed, or that of someone else. Mine is compliments of Mark Twain.
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"
"Bollocks".
Dodgy as a bottle of chips.
Never drink in a pub with a flat roof.
If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no need for tinkers.
I try to use it as often as possible.....
never rub another man's rhubarb 🙂
Fits like stocking on a chickens lip
Flowers are for the living.
Two if I may
You're not half as clever as you think I am...
and
Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think I am
Cheers
Danny B
Da
'I don't buy butter for dogs'
'He had a face like a haunted cave'
How do you know what you know
Used when some bright spark(kids) start getting too big for their boots ❗
as rare as rocking horse shit
or
that's like horse shit from China; far fetched
An idle mind is the devils workshop.
Mine is compliments of Mark Twain.
Who himself was misquoting someone else: Voltaire (although some say Socrates).
Slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through treacle.
Mine is compliments of Mark Twain.
Who himself was misquoting someone else: Voltaire (although some say Socrates).
Mine (for those ghouls glorifying Lady Thatcher's death): “It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus
Buy Big Bike Bash tickets (www.bigbikebash.co.uk)
Not that funny but I seem to say it a lot 😉
He's so tight he only cries out of one eye.
He's got a heid like a 10 bob bit.
You only get what you pay for.
I have loads, couldn't pick a favourite
"There's no I in team but there is a U in cYOUnt"
"Never get in an argument with a moron, they'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
"Assume, makes an ASS of U and ME"
Mine (for those ghouls glorifying Lady Thatcher's death): “It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus
Like she had a stroke and reacted by dying? That's just disrespectful. Expected better of you, Tucker
“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
Couldn't agree more - we recognise her for the horrendous ghoul that she was and celebrate her death accordingly!
"Ahh it'll be reet"
You cannot polish a turd.
You cannot polish a turd
But you can roll it in glitter
S+!t on a stick
"Assume, makes an ASS of U and ME"
I hate that expression above all other expressions. Gah.
I prefer 'assumptions make an ass out of you and umptions' personally.
I rather like this little pithy bon mot for when something is not quite right....
If that's true, my cock's a kipper.
Not a saying but a definition I enjoy nonetheless:
A gentleman is a man who knows how to play the banjo but doesn't.
Won't work with bike stuff but,
"Buy cheap, buy twice"
Stop acting the goat.
Next year we'll be millionaires 😉
this is a genuine old sicilian saying that my FiL uses 'only donkeys have places'
and one of mine but I can't remember where I heard it 'so tight he could peel an orange in his pocket'
She's got the personality of a rattlesnake,without the attractive markings.
When aligning things to microns- "Nowt what a blind man on a galloping horse wouldn't see"
Pain is only temporary, glory lasts for several seconds.
(she's got) "a face like a slapped arse" . Or when referring to elements of boat construction, such as forming a radius/beading on the lower edge of a thwart rising "to cheer it up a bit". And harking back to my black country roots - "if it ay bost, dow fix it".
Edit - oh, and on seeing someone with buck teeth "well (s)he could eat an apple through a tennis racket.."
And a well-endowed lass - "it's like a dead-heat in a zeppellin race".
The grave yard is full of heroes.
Like she had a stroke and reacted by dying? That's just disrespectful. Expected better of you, Tucker
Pretty good! 😆
I refuse to be drawn into a battle of wits with you; I was brought up never to attack a man who was incapable of defending himself.
for those with windswept and interesting locks
"looks like they brushed their hair with a toffee apple!"
Don't kick a fresh turd on a hot day
