I see “Mank” picked up a load of Oscars
Well, it picked up a load of nominations and won 2 so I guess it did OK. They were for Cinematography and Production Design so the Academy obviously thought it looked nice but I've not yet mustered up the enthusiasm to give it a try and tbh you're not helping any!
Central Intelligence. I normally find Dwayne Johnson rather watchable but CI is easily one of the biggest piles of shite I've even seen. Avoid.
The kids downloaded the Keanu Reeves version of The Day The Earth Stood Still.
It was very, very terrible.
I don’t know how they managed to muck up such a good story.
Found MrsMC watching Love.Wedding.Marriage the other night. Wikipedia says the NY Times described it as "punishment for a crime you can’t remember committing" and I think that's being generous.
A lot of people conflate a film they don't like a film that's bad. Having said that I'll offer Tim Vine's Fearmoth (on YouTube)
I really wanted in to be so bad it's good... but lots of missed opportunities for puns and visual jokes, and I found it a bit creepy how young the wives were compared to the male leads.
Maybe I missed the point but I think it would have been better if Tim Vine had played Tim Vine instead of I don't know what. Currently 6.9 on Imdb so someone likes it.
I watched Stowaway on Netflix last night.
Oh dear.
I struggle to remember watching anything as diabolically crap as Jiu Jitsu. Watched it in Netflix the other night and if I hadn’t been doing some work at the same time I would have switched it off after 10 or 15 minutes.
The scene where Nic Cage first appears which highlight was him describing how he made a paper hat as he there was nothing better to do was just weird.
Netflix and sky originals films all seem to be very hit or miss. I find the children’s or family films to be generally a bit better but still lots of stinkers.
Er Hubie Halloween.... 🙂
The Assistant.
Would've been pissed at wasting time watching it. But double pissed as it cost us £6 to watch the most tedious and pointless "film" ever.
Stowaway was fantastic in contrast!
Im sure there was a really bad film, from the late seventies perhaps, which was essentially an earlier Ghost Rider, with the flaming bike flying and burning skull, the hero sold his soul to the devil.
It was rubbish
but what was it called?
Has anyone watched either of the Yin-Yang films on Netflix?
They are tremendous. Really really tremendous in a way that they really weren't designed to be, but are. Highly recommended.
To me a bad film is made worse if there is an expectation that its supposed to be good. A couple from the last year of lockdown film watiching:
JoJo Rabbit - 5* must see movie on Now - I just didnt get it, some of the "humour" meant to be poking fun at the Nazi's just seemed to be offensive.
But special prize to Joker - never felt so let down but a film, boring, highly irritating, trying to spoil what is essentially a cartoon baddie by trying to provide a logical reason why they are bad. Plot a direct copy of Taxi Driver. Made soooo much worse by the comparison with the Dark Knight Trilogy (or even the original Batman film from 1989).
I had the misfortune to attempt to watch Ray & Liz the other week, lauded by the critics & I'm quite a fan of grim reality films but my god what a god forsaken pile of bile that was - or at least the part we managed to stomach.
I made the mistake of watching Without Remorse the other night.
Take a script where you can seriously ask "did all the good screen writers die or something?!"...
And then...
Give the lead role to Michael B. Jordan 🤦♂️🤮
I made the mistake of watching Without Remorse the other night.
I got about a third of the way through that, turned it off. Then tried to come back to it and lasted about another 15 mins. Total crap.
Even with low expectations I was impressed with how terrible Ghost Rider is
I think Easy Rider has to be one of the most overrated films in cinematic history. Dull and boring.
Downsizing with Matt Damon is awful, anything in last 5 years with Liam Neeson
If you mean "so bad it's good" worst then I highly recommend "The Velocipastor" about a catholic priest who rubs some ancient artefact and turns into a dinosaur to fight evil.
Anything with Chuck Norris in it.
Velocipastor sounds amazing, thank you.
Velocipastor just got recommended to a friend in Berlin, thank you.
Without Remorse is indeed terrible. I remember the book being decent and made better by the main character being mostly fleshed out by the time his origin story got told. This film just, well, totally screwed all of that over with some bullshit story and a cast that genuinely looked like they could not give a shit.
I watched it, but only to fully immerse myself in the wallowing pile of garbage that it was.
I think we have a new contender...
Halloween Kills, I knew it would be utter shite but for some reason I still watched it.
Jay and silent bob ..
Dual. With Karen Gillan. Do not approach this movie.
Years ago when C4 was new and didn't show house shows etc 24 7 there was a film about Amy Johnson. It was made by a lesbian collective and was dull beyond belief and the only flying shots were a model plane moving over a map in an unsteady fashion.
It remains the worst film I have ever seen.
GRAVITY
My goodness….
GRAVITY
My goodness….
I know, how flipping good was that film at in 3d at the IMAX, like I could give a fly **** about the reality of it, the film was excellent fun. Trying to re-watch it on the tele... yeah I'd struggle with that
Nicolas Cage has been in some shockers.. but Left Behind stands like a shining beacon of dog crap among the meerly bad films..
The worst film I can recall watching was Sonny, which was Nic Cage's directing debut, starring James Franco. Good God, it was ****ing terrible.
Problem I have with this is I'd quickly dump a film I didn't like so wouldn't watch it. But you may watch something that is considered a masterpiece and hate it. But does that make it bad?
I've recorded Citizen Kane shown the other day and plan to watch it, as it's commonly held to one of the greats.
"Where the Crawdads Sing" has to be a contender! OMG, what a soggy Kleenex Ultra-soft of a film. I went expecting Chinatown crossed with Deliverance, I got a daytime Channel 5 made-for-TV offering. I don't know what happened at the end.
AVOID!
Honestly all these films posted so far are pretty bad, but worst film ever?
Has to be
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies
"Jerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree."
Get through 80 minutes of this and pretty much anything else will seem like potential Oscar fodder.
Problem I have with this is I’d quickly dump a film I didn’t like so wouldn’t watch it. But you may watch something that is considered a masterpiece and hate it. But does that make it bad?
There are some shocking things that I have turned off.
For me, the stand out is Walk the Line, the dramatised biopic of Johnny Cash.
Attempting to watch that film remains the only time beyond infanthood where I have managed to fall asleep on a plane - something I normally cannot do even when trying.
“Where the Crawdads Sing” has to be a contender!
My daughter read the book not so long ago, and gave me a running commentary on how disappointed she was with it. My only contribution was that crawdads can't sing because they are crayfish. I've never heard of singing crayfish - maybe I'm wrong! Anyway, I couldn't watch it anymore than I could watch a film titled 'Where The Lobsters Fly' or 'Where The Cuttlefish Smoke Fags'.
I watched the new Matrix over the weekend. It's quite meta, but tries to take itself both seriously and not at the same time, and fails to manage either, which is quite and achievement.
Get through 80 minutes of this and pretty much anything else will seem like potential Oscar fodder.
Thing is though - I wouldn't even start with trash like that*
So I can only judge films I've actually seen.
*Ok, I watched Butt Boy. It was terrible. (It was for a laugh with a mate, honest)
"... [i]Chip, becomes the main suspect in his investigation of a missing kid. Fox also starts to believe that people are disappearing up Chip's butt[/i]"
Oh it was better than Crawdads though. Much much better.
“Where the Crawdads Sing” has to be a contender!
I read an article about the author, who sounds like a nutter, and wondered to myself, "Who reads/watches garbage like this?"
Now I know. Thanks.
👍
Here's the article.
https://www.theatlantic.com/books/archive/2022/07/where-the-crawdads-sing-delia-mark-owens-zambia-murder/670479/
Erazorhead
I’ve never heard of singing crayfish
But they make a whistling noise when you drop them in a pan of boiling water.
Moonfall was pretty bad, but still pales in comparison to The Postman.
Green Lantern was also unwatchable.
Even Ryan Reynolds slags off the Green Lantern.
Tried to watch the most recent Terminator film on Saturday night. I lasted about 45 mins.
Probably fits on 'most disappointing films' rather than worst, but the new Thor movie is absolute hot garbage. Loved the last one, and this somehow manages to make some of the best jokes and funniest characters from that one into something utterly boring, and even wastes Christian Bale, which takes a special talent to do.
Particularly annoying as it was the first time I'd been back a real cinema since you-know-what, and was hoping for something as good as Ragnarok.
Tried to watch the most recent Terminator film on Saturday night. I lasted about 45 mins.
Was pretty formulaic stuff. Except for the part where they rendered all the films since Terminator II null and void within the first few minutes.
@martinhutch, agree about Thor. But my two teenage daughters loved. They smiled all the way through the film.
But yeah, I found it a bit flat, too overly CGI, I know it’s a marvel film set in space, but it just felt a bit meh. (Best description I can give it)
I’ve never heard of singing crayfish
But they make a whistling noise when you drop them in a pan of boiling water.
Yeah, it occurred to me that maybe the reference is to cooking them, but I have no intention of watching the film just to find out if they cook a tasty crustacean dinner. And The Death-whistle Of The Crawdads slips off the tongue even worse than the actual title.
I have no intention of watching the film just to find out if they cook a tasty crustacean dinner.
Spoiler alert: they don't.
Well, unless it's in the last hour what I missed.
Time to resurrect this thread...
Watched Eternals last night:
Promising cast - Check
Part of the Marvel universe - Check
What an utter bag of boring, confusing, over long, weary FX, badly acted shite!
Avoid.
I was flicking through some channels last week just as the Philadelphia Experiment was starting. Sounded interesting so popped it on. Quite quickly realised it wasn't going to be as good as I was hoping it'd be but wasted a couple of hours watching it. Beyond awful.
What an utter bag of boring, confusing, over long, weary FX, badly acted shite!
I used to choose those sorts of marvel movies (good looking, not hard to follow, lots of exciting explosions) when I was doing extra dull Z2 work on the rollers, Eternals was too dull even for that. I haven't finished it yet.
the Philadelphia Experiment
1984 original or remake??
I think marvel films are all going to look pretty lame now that endgame is done, I didn't like eternals and the antman was poor as well, just too formulaic and thor was dull also, spiderman Shang-Chi were the last ones I enjoyed and I haven't been bothered to watch GOTG3 yet either
Tried John Wick4 and couldn't raise any enthusiasm on that either..
Never noticed this tread before 'Highlander 2 blows goats' made me laugh.
Just had a look through this and nobody has mentioned Speed 2: Cruise Control, I would rather watch Highlander 2
No votes for Beau is Afraid yet then. I wouldn't vote for it myself, kind of loved the whole crazy experience.. but I would vote it the Worst. Ending. Ever. Absolutely ruined it.
GOTG3 was pretty decent actually, I thought.
Spiderman was watchable, but wasn't there any way they could have avoided the spoilerfest in the run-up to release? Imagine not realising who was going to appear in it...
Didn't even bother with Eternals or Black Panther 2. Antman3 lost all of the charm of the first two, and the less said about Doctor Strange the better.
One of the kids picked up Hansel and Gretel - Warriors of Witchcraft for 20p in a charity shop.
Mein Got! That was bad.
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hansel_and_gretel_warriors_of_witchcraft_2013
The best bit was spotting to continuity errors in the lead girls T shirts. The budget clearly extended to two of them, but they weren't exactly the same. Also, part way through one scene it cuts to a shot where she is wearing it back to front.
And then there was Eric Roberts, who clearly had not been given a script and was told to turn up in his own clothes. His part largely involved walking into a room, grinning, and walking back out without bumping into anything.
Mercifully only 88 minutes long.
Book club - the next chapter (a sequal to book club, which i was fortunate enough not to see).
The wife decided she wanted to go the pictures and selected this based purely on the promotional blurb on cinema website.
Truly, truly excruciating. I’d rather have gouged my eyeballs out than subject them to this disgrace to the art form. Difficult to imagine who thought this should ever have gone into production.
Has there ever been a good film with punctuation in the title? Usually the inclusion of “ / : - “ etc is a warning of what is to follow.
I haven’t been bothered to watch GOTG3 yet either
I'd give it a shot, saw it on a flight a few months back and thought it was pretty decent.
Agree about your general point about wondering what the point of the MCU is now they've clearly peaked with Endgame, I've had limited interest since then.
Tried John Wick4 and couldn’t raise any enthusiasm on that either..
John Wick voice >> Yeah << John Wick voice
In the early days of C4 they had a film about Amy Johnson. It is the worst film I have ever seen it showed aerial footage with a model plane on a stick and a map.
Other films of note.
Summer holiday.
Girl on a motorcycle.
A film of a train journey across Canada film out the window with s forward facing camera.
A film of a train journey across Canada film out the window with s forward facing camera.
Yeah, that sounds like a truly bad film. Most of this thread is just complaints about mediocre studio movies that aren't really terrible, just predictable. My submission for something really shit is Sonny, by Nicolas Cage, starring James Franco. Just truly bad, utter waste of talent. Not mediocre or predictable, just bad. Probably not the worst film ever, but the worst that I can recall watching.
Yeah, it occurred to me that maybe the reference is to cooking them
In the book it's a reference to the edge of wilderness, one of the characters says to another, about wading in the swamp "You need to go out as far as the crawdads sing" I.e. as far out so that you're away from civilisation and where things are still wild. Read the book a while back (it was OK), didn't know half the shit about its author which was genuinely fascinating.
A few nights ago I got reminded how disappointing Alien Covenant was, when it was shown on Film4 (? or another Freeview channel) for at least the second time recently.
1984 original or remake??
The remake although some of the special effects could have probably been more lifelike if it had been done in the 80s.
This thread re-boot has reawakened a memory of 'The Harry Hill Movie', which runs out of jokes about two minutes in. The things we do for our kids, eh?
Yeah, it occurred to me that maybe the reference is to cooking them
In the book it’s a reference to the edge of wilderness, one of the characters says to another, about wading in the swamp “You need to go out as far as the crawdads sing” I.e. as far out so that you’re away from civilisation and where things are still wild. Read the book a while back (it was OK), didn’t know half the shit about its author which was genuinely fascinating.
I think, when I wrote that, I was being bombarded by stuff about this book/film by my eldest daughter. I was probably a little sick of it, and it shows. 😀 I agree that the author's life seems more interesting than her books.
Mother! Directed by Darren Aronofsky.
The kind of film that film critics work themselves into a tiz over. A pointless mess.
A Google search for the film brings up the question "what is the point of the film Mother!"
Quite.
Edit - to be clear, not a contender for a "good film with punctuation in the title" 😉
Are we counting question marks? A few good ones in that selection.
Has there ever been a good film with punctuation in the title? Usually the inclusion of “ / : – “ etc is a warning of what is to follow.
Face/Off
Mission: Impossible
nickc
Full MemberI watched the new Matrix over the weekend. It’s quite meta, but tries to take itself both seriously and not at the same time, and fails to manage either, which is quite and achievement.
I thought it would be impossible to disappoint after Matrix 2 & 3, yet here we are.
Never noticed this tread before ‘Highlander 2 blows goats’ made me laugh.
My work here is done! 😁
Never realised what a bore fest Godfather 3 was until it appeared onPrime the other day. Especially compared to the first 2.
Probably fits in most disappointing category.
Highlander 2 blows goats
My work here is done! 😁
Aw, that sounded like something I'd say.
Anyway I see there's a 4th Expendables movie. That's nice.
Has there ever been a good film with punctuation in the title? Usually the inclusion of “ / : – “ etc is a warning of what is to follow.
Who Killed Roger Rabbit?
Apocalypse Now: Redux (possibly a cheat)
Spaceballs!
Dr Strangelove, or: how I stopped etc
Borat! Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan