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Work "mates", Chris...
 

Work "mates", Christmas and all that bollox

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[#12648849]

I can't be the only one...who else can't stand this cajoling to join in shit & enforced socializing?

I'm employed by my company for my knowledge and certain technical skills, and at getting on for 60, not to baby sit a bunch of twenty somethings...

Discuss...


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:30 am
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I like my workmates, and I'm looking forward to our xmas meal on Friday. And I'm over twice the age of some of them.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:33 am
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I don’t enjoy socialising either. For me this was a unique opportunity to meet 40 or so colleagues outside of my immediate work colleagues I hadn’t met before. I’m glad I did, because it showed me the local company was far less the corporate than I thought it was.

Being 50 and in a senior position I had a couple of drinks then left graciously when it started to look like it’d get messy.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:37 am
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I opted out of Secret Santa. Fight The System!!


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:47 am
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If I dp go its only to a meal

I never drink then make a swift exit when the meal has finished and all the kids are heading to the bar


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:48 am
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Every year... can we just copy and paste the thread from last year ?


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:48 am
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Every year… can we just copy and paste the thread from last year ?

Literally what I was going say.

Don't go if you don't want. I'm not this year, not because I'm a miserable bastard though, but they haven't asked for a reason. I just declined the invite.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 8:56 am
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The joys of self-employment means none of this nonsense for me.

Anyway, who wants to go out at this time of year anyway? When all your usual favourite haunts are full of amateur drinkers and miserable bastards being forced into pretending they’re enjoying themselves? 😂


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:02 am
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I bought a tasteless item for secret Santa least year but recipient left so I gave it to someone else this year, also offloaded an item that didn't fit and I hadn't bothered to return for refund. Result!


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:05 am
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Our team genuinely get on, I'd happily go for a pint with them all. Work is paying for a Christmas meal out, I'm buying the drinks.
All is good.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:05 am
 StuF
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I went to mine last week, we're all remote so it's a good opportunity to talk to people on something other than teams.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:06 am
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Don’t go if you don’t want.

This, I’m certainly not. I commute by rail so it’s a double “no thanks” this year.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:10 am
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Ah, the annual misanthropes' thread.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:14 am
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I'm lucky enough to like my workmates, and infact we all went out for dinner just a couple of weeks ago, but for Christmas?

Not a Christian so don't really see the point of going out in the cold when everything is rammed and more expensive. Seems like masochism to me.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:17 am
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Oh great. We can add the Christmas predates Christ stuff in this thread too. That saves another annual repeat.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:27 am
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I declined this year too - for me it's the expectation to "get pissed". Taxi would be about £40, so you have to get the train - last train is around 10:30 - and station 5 miles from home. Great night out! Nah, can't be arsed with it. Not cos I don't like em, I don't really know em (we all work in different buildings). TBH I'd rather stay in and get pissed on me own. Bit sad really 😆
See also [url= https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/seasonal-mental-health-thread/ ]here[/url]


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:30 am
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Yeh I used to hate it and just went for a meal with a select group of work mates usually, but now I'm not working and a lonely house elf I'd quite like to do something (gets his tiny fiddle out 😂)


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:36 am
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Ah, the annual misanthropes’ thread.

No, the annual 'people with a different attitude to the norm' thread. This is what I hate about Christmas and why I think it's such a difficult time for a lot of people. There is so much pressure to join in with the societal expectations of excess and jolliness and if this doesn't fit you or your circumstances then you're seen as a scrooge or a grinch - no I'm just looking after my own wellbeing.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:46 am
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This is what my works do might look like as a self-employed operative.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:46 am
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Nah, the PE Dept always get pissed and start trouble (I wish I was joking!)
I'm too old to be chaperoning 30/40-something year old idiots who like to drink and argue.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:46 am
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This is what my works do might look like as a self-employed operative.

That I get


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:49 am
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Op you will be visited by 3 ghosts, expect the first at the stroke of midnight.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:50 am
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I’m not this year, not because I’m a miserable bastard though, but they haven’t asked for a reason. I just declined the invite.

You need to move offices, ours is clearly the best you wouldn't want to decline.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:56 am
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If it’s done tastefully with a decent budget I’m there. If it’s the usual oversized room with pre prepped pub style
microwave meal, cheap wine and a bad DJ then I’m out after shaking a few hands before it kicks off. Will organise a pint + nice pub meal with direct team to make up for absence.

Anyone remember in the 80s / 90’s when big CO’s used to let you bring kids, put on a mini show, had food then sent families / engineers home at a reasonable time, leaving the sales team to drink the open bar dry. I think it’s sad so many co’s these days don’t seem to be inclusive for those with families.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 9:57 am
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Free flowing ales and wines, mountains of brown food, creating a closely guarded clique of the people you actually get on with, what's not to like?

🙂


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:04 am
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I've only seen the work guys once in the last 2 years, apart from my senior manager who i ride with on non-race weekends. So we're off to Miller and Carter for a bit of food, then a couple of pints, should be home by 8pm i guess 🙂

Well, we are out at 12... so not exactly a short one.... but 3-4 pints as up early on Sat.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:05 am
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As always, if you're too miserable to have one night with your colleagues, you're the problem, not them 😉

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you're working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

Geography/travel challenges or child care issues are the only genuine excuse


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:07 am
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I'm lucky, the team I work in is spread internationally so makes a Xmas night out a bit of an issue, also, you know, IT, we don't fair well in social situations

On the other hand the wife gets forced every year to go to the company shindig, which she hates more than Piers Morgan. She says it's a nightmare, THe boss is one of those 50 something guys who thinks life revolves around his party rules. Everyone has to put in 110% to make it something special, and if people try to go home early he goes in the huff. Worst thing is, a guitar comes out at some point because everyone is just so desperate to hear him belt out "Don't Look Back In Anger" again


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:10 am
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As always, if you’re too miserable to have one night with your colleagues, you’re the problem not them 😉

Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you’re working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

Or conversely:  Your life must be terribly dull if the only people you have to go out with are colleagues.  I enjoyed working with most of the folk I worked with but the end of the working day is just that.  Time to leave.  Work is work and my home life is my home life and I never mixed the two

If you wouldn't go out with them at other times of the year why would you at this time of year?

I personally had nothing but work in common with the folk I worked with.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:10 am
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Your working day must be absolutely miserable if you’re working alongside people you have zero interest in having a pint/ soft drink/ meal with them at Christmas.

I dont think of them as actual people...


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:13 am
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Being a northerner who's work colleagues are in London means the logistics are a real barrier. Although it's no great hardship to skip it, it is a shame as i like most of em.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:16 am
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I like my workmates, and I’m looking forward to our xmas meal on Friday.

+1

Quite looking forward to our xmas dinner tomorrow night, be nice to see everyone (we all work from home).


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:20 am
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Worst thing is, a guitar comes out at some point because everyone is just so desperate to hear him belt out “Don’t Look Back In Anger” again

Is that for real? Dear god! 😳


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:21 am
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Darthpunk - why on earth does she go then?  I assume its out of worktime and not paid?


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:24 am
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We get nothing from our company 70'000 employees sound's similar to shitey.
Empty promises and platitudes aplenty though.
Merry Xmas


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:24 am
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(gets his tiny fiddle out 😂)

Detail too far


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:25 am
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There is so much pressure to join in with the societal expectations of excess and jolliness

I reckon this exists if you let it exist...


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:26 am
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I was lucky that out of the 20 people on our site there was only 1 that I didn't gel with. The site is closed now and we are all mostly in touch via a WhatsApp group & have all been out in various forms for meals etc.

We always were a close knit team & it worked. I have worked at some places though where you would happily push them off a cliff so I guess the team you work with makes a huge difference.

I'm about to go out for breakfast with our old production manager, just social chat stuff 🙂


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:27 am
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We get a decent budget and I took the opportunity to enjoy dinner with a few former colleagues. In the US they all go for a prearranged lunch as a large group. I prefer more intimate.

When I had a group, I took them to Helene Darozze (two Michelin stars) for Christmas lunch. It was not quite in budget but I made up some of the difference with a bonus I’d received. They still talk about it. Set lunches can be very good value and you can spend three hours relaxing. Evening events are more expensive and have an expectations of merriment.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:41 am
 DT78
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The joy of being 95% remote these days means no pressure to come to these things. When I used to manage alot of people I would stress every year about organising it and trying to ensure everyone had a great time, organising all sorts of stuff. And then there was the expectation to put your hand in your pocket and buy drinks (for 70+ people that adds up) when the company doesn't recompense and some of them are actually earning more than you....

Then I was made redundant / slotted into a specialist role. Now no team to speak of, everyone I work with is effectively a client. Nice people but a different type of relationship to a team of people working on something together

I don't miss it tbh. Money is tight and I'd rather spend it on my kids these days

Does that make me a scrooge too?


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:43 am
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also, you know, IT, we don’t fair well in social situations

Eh? I'll bear that in mind on Friday and tell everyone to stop chatting and stare at the wall in silence, what with us all working in IT.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 10:47 am
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You need to move offices, ours is clearly the best you wouldn’t want to decline.

😀 Unfortunatley its the same night as my wifes so, bloody kids n stuff....and she got in there first!

Althought they've gone a bit leftfield this year and i'm not sure I'm really up for beer pong and pizza for a christmas do anyway. I've been off the booze for a while so I reckon I'd only embarrass myself....


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 11:02 am
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Never worked anywhere that had a Christmas party. Last 25 years I have been working in social care where generally if you're not on duty that night you will be the next morning. Prior to that my wife and I ran a youth hostel which was busy at Christmas and 20 miles away from the next one.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 11:07 am
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If you wouldn’t go out with them at other times of the year why would you at this time of year?

I personally had nothing but work in common with the folk I worked with

I've long suspected your former colleagues were happier with your retirement than you were, and I think this may be the definitive proof 😂


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 11:22 am
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I'm going to have to miss mine this year - had Covid recently and don't want to give anyone a miserable Covid Christmas present.

I like most of my work colleagues.


 
Posted : 13/12/2022 11:24 am
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