[Closed] Wiping styles

Yeah but:

Front to back or back to front?
standing or sitting?

Front to back or back to front?
standing or sitting?

freestyle, man.

get those knees as high as possible - clean poo FTW!

Underarm for me. My back doesn't bend enough to go overarm. It only just bends enough to reach underarm, and on bad mornings before its loosened up I have to lunge. I'm genuinely concerned that the day will come when I'm too inflexible to do it myself 😕

Bin Dun http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/something-i-had-never-thought-about-until-yesterday-bum-wiping-content

thegreatape - embrace the "Long reach comfort wipe" stick of shame.

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Bin Dun 3 years ago though. Give the O P a break!

Time to readdress the topic I think.

thegreatape - embrace the "Long reach comfort wipe" stick of shame.

I once bumped into a very obese colleague nipping into the loo with their bum wiping stick, it answered a question I'd never thought of until that moment...

Heartfelt thanks Stoner - that's just the thing! Where did you buy yours from? 🙂

HTS - I think he's quite proud of his original bum wiping thread, hence linking to it.

Can you do your teeth with it also? It would probably require some sort of interchangeable head attachment, or a massive disregard for personal hygiene.

Scrunching makes no sense to me whatsoever

Far too random, too many variables and opportunities for something to go badly wrong

Fold, they are in little sheets for a reason, positioning and accuracy 🙂

Our shower has a hose.

Don't kid yourselves - 'wiping' alone is merely moving it around albeit with a 'colour/consistency check' as an added benefit.

One poo a day is worth one shower a day* IMO , it's all about timing 😉

*'ghost' poos excepted.

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Paper? Bum gun is the only way to go.

Below is someone I worked with many years ago.

Whilst living in Thailand I had the misfortune to meet a rather obese American from Kentucky who carried around a sponge in his pocket for wiping his azz after taking a dump.

He claimed that he had picked this up from Asians who lived in America Koreans, Thais and Cambodians or so he claimed.

I was rather disturbed by the fact that this man kept a sponge in his pocket that had been used for cleansing himself.

The fact that the sponge was dry in his pocket also concerned me. I was unsure if he wet it before going to the toilet or afterwards. It must have meant that he had to at some point put it damp into his pocket.

Have you ever heard of anybody else doing this?

What is worse is I also remember him wiping his forehead with when he used to sit and sweat in his unairconned office.

A piece of foamy sponge much like one of those yellow scourers but it didn't have any scouring bit on it for obvious reasons.

Scrunching makes no sense to me whatsoever

Far too random, too many variables and opportunities for something to go badly wrong

Agreed, I'm a folder now and i likes it. Also, find it's more efficient on paper usage.

Bin Dun http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/something-i-had-never-thought-about-until-yesterday-bum-wiping-content

I'll sit in the corner and think about what I've done 😥

Sponge man is the ideal candidate for one of those AIBU threads on mumsnet 8) 😯

AIBU?

Sponge man is the ideal candidate for one of those AIBU threads on mumsnet

[s]This thread[/s] STW threads is an ideal candidate for those on mumsnet 😉

Is it OK to jetwash or will I wreck my bearings?

As long as you pack it well with thick grease afterwards, you should be OK.

I ALWAYS use lube 🙂

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I once bumped into a very obese colleague nipping into the loo with their bum wiping stick, it answered a question I'd never thought of until that moment...

Bleach my brain now.

The shelfie stick?

Portmanteau of the day achieved. Onwards, this is all a bit weird...

The ass-sponge stick?

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I'm all about the shuffling dog technique, as long as its someones elses house of course, I'm not an animal.

I'm a Folder at home, but the bum guns you get abroad are the shit.

Seldom happier than when I'm blessed with a clean getaway!

i don't use dry toilet paper as you wouldn't clean dirty hands with a dry paper towel so why attempt to clean your arse with dry paper, so it's a folded moist toilet wipe for me. What a strange thread?, and I'm even stranger for replying.........I blame the 1/2 bottle of M&S Xmas port I've drank tonight.

The wife bought some flushable scented bum wipes so now I have my usual wipe with toilet paper then buff up afterwards with one of the scented wipes. They add a whole new level of pleasure to my regular morning poo.

^^^ nothing more civilised than a highly polished ring.

Do not flush

flushable scented bum wipes

because, once they are in the sewer

[url= http://www.businessinsider.com/photos-fatberg-the-size-of-a-boeing-747-under-shepherds-bush-road-2014-9 ]"Wet wipes cling to the fat. Fat clings to the wipes. And pretty soon your fatberg is out of control"[/url]

And no-one wants an out of control fatberg. Check the link if you doubt this truth...

🙂

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Fit one of thesecin your loo?

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Is it best to use live or dead swans? I suppose using live ones is more environmentally friendly.