New login for this for obvious reasons....
My wife has this habit of unlocking the front door, leaving the keys in the lock then going back to the car for shopping etc before heading indoors and leaving the keys (inc car key) dangling outside the door. I come home probably once a week to it.
Its surely only a matter of time before someone thats not me spots it and drives off in the car - no chance of the insurance paying out I'm sure.
She doesnt seem to think its a big deal and complains/says I'm nagging when I mention it and ask her not to do it.
What would STW do? Steal it myself one day park up around the corner and only come clean after she's panicked for long enough?
Steal it myself one day park up around the corner and only come clean after she's panicked for long enough?
I'd do this!!
Yep that's what I'd do
I might do it anyways just out of badness
What would STW do? Steal it myself one day park up around the corner and only come clean after she's panicked for long enough?
Just take the keys and hold on to them until she needs tham again. Give them back after she's wasted half an hour looking for them and she's less likely to call plod.
change the locks
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Upgrade your wife
My wife never locks the front door. It does my head in, but she doesn't see the problem and as you've said it comes across as me nagging her.
Things is, I had my car nicked years ago because the front door wasn't bolted shut so it's just something I've always done after that expensive lesson. .
This is an excellent plan:
What would STW do? Steal it myself one day park up around the corner and only come clean after she's panicked for long enough?
Although I fear it'll be you that ends under a patio.
Put the door and car keys on separate rings.
After you've 'stolen' it yourself, obvs.
Depends if you want an easy life or an argument.
Move somewhere nicer?
What would STW do? Steal it myself one day park up around the corner and only come clean after she's [s]panicked for long enough?[/s] had a week of travelling on public transport.
FTFY
Get a push button entry front door.
Deffo just drive the car around the corner and hide some bits of jewellery and electricals. When she is sobbing and about to pick up the phone to the police just say "lesson learned?"
I was thinking you should get a mate to steal the car just from reading the thread title. If you don't steal it, someone else will.
MadWeeDavey
Quiet life / argument : prefer quiet life - there's enough going on already, but would also prefer not to have to deal with a stolen car and all the expense and stress that brings
5thElephant
Quieter area - we live in a fairly nice quiet village already and the house is reasonably set back from the main road, so someone spotting is likely to be later rather than sooner - however over enough time it's got a good chance of happening.
Maybe I can set up something suitably useful as part of an RFID tag setup on a key hook to motivate her to use it - turn the house lights on / heating up / kettle on.
I wonder if you could manage to pretend to steel the car in a spirit of good humour, so she realises why not to without the atmosphere going all heavy?
Get a friend to 'nick' it, and send ransom style emails with pics from the petrol station (filling it up) valets (getting it cleaned), etc.
5thElefant - Member
Move somewhere nicer?
Without the wife?
I live somewhere nice and my wife's done this a few times, leaving front door and car keys in the door facing the road. Still thieves operate in nice places, fortunately not on the nights they've had free access to my house and car.
I did this several times in our old house, In fact on several occasions the keys were dangling in the front door overnight while the old (and now rather covetable) mk2 Golf GTi sat in full view opposite the front door. FWIW these episodes coincided for me with busy/ stressful life patches. I'm sure she's not doing it deliberately, she's probably just got other stuff on her mind & simply gets distracted/ forgets when she shuts the door. Offer to do shopping/ help unload perhaps rather than give her something else to worry about?
Get a friend to 'nick' it, and send ransom style emails with pics from the petrol station (filling it up) valets (getting it cleaned), etc.
Brilliant - that's beautifully straight to the point whilst diplomatic. We do have a neighbor that would love doing this.
(It does assume that she's come back with enough fuel in the car to GET to the petrol station which is often marginal.)
She needs to break the habit, you need to change the locks on the doors. This will make her think about why the keys don't fit, whilst she's standing there it'll register that she needs keys to enter..
Nicking the cars a snotty trick, you'll put her in a position of frightful worry and angst. I can't see anything but disruptive family life for a whiles after if this is the route you choose.
I left the keys in the door on one occasion, a couple of hours later a couple knocked on the door, "just thought we'd let you know you left the keys in the door"
It could easily have gone the other way.
these episodes coincided for me with busy/ stressful life patches. I'm sure she's not doing it deliberately,
Right on the money & very insightful- life is really stressful for us both right now - marriage not great right now to say the least and young children etc (the new login was to post about that and it's consequences, I just couldn't collect my thoughts or bring myself to write it yet - this more lighthearted topic came up first as a 50/50 joke/serious thread)
Offer to do shopping/ help unload perhaps rather than give her something else to worry about?
Grocery shopping comes via delivery, the key thing happens on the way back from work / Saturday clothes shopping trips etc. We both work full time and have young kids so the stress comes that way.
In which case now is the time to be kind to each other & not turn this into a 'thing'. Next time it happens just take the keys out & gently mention it saying that you've put them safely inside. It helps if you have hooks/ bowls etc where these things live - so you (both) actively notice that they are in the 'right' place rather than dangling in the door. Life is hard enough in the circumstances you describe - make light whilst still ensuring that your stuff stays safe.
My wife says put them on a retracting lead thingamy which attaches to the inside of her handbag.
An easy option...put keys in car door, pull everything out of the glove box and leave it strewn across the footwell, the benefit of this option is she'll get a scare, and if its a bit stressy, you never need to come clean! (Just don't let her report it to her insurance as that'll cost extra in premiums!)
Is she fit though?
life is really stressful for us both right now - marriage not great right now to say the least
Hmm, tricky then. Mrs aracer does this fairly often, but fortunately we live somewhere where it's really not an issue at all, and her car is completely worthless (TBH it's far more of an issue that there's also a key to the garage where bikes are kept), so I've not mentioned it beyond suggesting where her keys might be when she can't find them.
It's not unusual for thieves to target 'nice, quiet' areas, they're less likely to be noticed, and there's likely to be better pickings, higher value cars, etc.
Steal it myself one day park up around the corner and only come clean after she's panicked for long enough?
I'd do this!!
The idea's good in principle, but the repercussions could be decidedly unpleasant, and leaving keys just inside the front door is almost as bad as leaving them in the door, thieves can and will fish for them through the letterbox.
I'd just drop them into a bowl or put them on a hook in the kitchen, then when she suddenly needs them and can't find them, just quietly point out they're where they should always be.
In which case now is the time to be kind to each other & not turn this into a 'thing'. Next time it happens just take the keys out & gently mention it saying that you've put them safely inside. It helps if you have hooks/ bowls etc where these things live - so you (both) actively notice that they are in the 'right' place rather than dangling in the door. Life is hard enough in the circumstances you describe - make light whilst still ensuring that your stuff stays safe.
Exactly.
I'd just drop them into a bowl
At a party?
Slats? Hoof?
Separate the house and car keys onto different keyrings?
If she's lashing out back at you when you complain to her, instead of going "oh shit, sorry" then I'd say she's feeling insecure and threatened not safe and loved. That's not to say you don't love her and want to care for her, but she may not feel like that's the case.
My wife also does this to the point that I stopped taking my keys to work knowing that her keys would be in the door on my return. If she leaves them in the door during the day the posite usually puts it through the letter box
(Just in case you're tempted to follow dannyh's advice, I know a good surgeon who will be able to sew your plums back on)
I used to do this a lot when we lived in a house in the middle of a field. If I couldn't find the car key, it was probably in the ignition.
Now live in a village and still do it occasionally.
Wouldn't suggest stealing the car, maybe just park it facing the other way or on the other side of the road occasionally.
A smiley post it note with 'Keys?' written on it stuck to the door might help?
A neighbours done this with his kids. Daughter "lost" 3 or 4 front door keys in a 6 month period.
Most of them surfaced in clothes or bags. But now he has a lego key rack, colour coded. And matching lego keyrings.
So they all have a coloured storage space for keys. And it's instantly obvious whose keys are missing.......
Only issue is his son will sit there and take all the keys off and then put them back repeatedly. For an hour at a time.
OP have a young child?
My missus used to lock the door 'open' on the morning rush to school/nursery.
A few times I came back to a wide open front door.
I explained that the insurance would NOT pay out, asked how we would replace bits etc and the bikes and it was the depth/wakeup that prompted her. Maybe harsh but I said 'here's the APR for a new bike at 200 a month that you'd be paying for'.
She didn't like that bit 😀
My wife does this too. I separated her car keys from the front door keys as I [s]hid[/s] lost my front door keys. I then attached her keys via a chain to the (inside) wall near the front door, placed a fingerprint lock on the side gate, and now everyone uses the rear doors of the house to enter and exit. The rear gate is lightly spring loaded and so self closes within 30 seconds.
Much safer, no discussion required, just implementation on a day off.
Definitely separate car and house keys. I always thought it was a terrible idea having having these together. If you lose your keys you're really stuck but if you lose or lock one lot inside you always have somewhere to go. Forgot my house keys the other day so went for a drive and got some shopping till the other half got home. Also have a key bowl in the kitchen.
My wife left the car keys in the unlocked car all night a couple of weeks ago 😯
'stealing' the car might be an amusing idea for a TV show. Not so good in real life as it will likely appear malicious. It's the sort of thing you might do capriciously and then come to regret shortly after and evermore.
Rather than take action it sounds like a spot of listening might help. How you start that conversation will set the tone for the rest of it. Perhaps just simply state what you saw with no accusation, comment, or 'tone'. It sounds like the outcome you'd like is a safe and secure house, car, and family and that you are concerned that leaving the keys in the door might affect that. Find out what the underlying reasons for the keys being left in the door are. Find out what ideas your SO has that might change the keys being left in the door before suggesting fixes.
Having said that, I like separate keys. I don't understand why folks like to clutter key rings with house keys, office keys, ID badges, QR tags, and car keys. They just don't sit together well in pockets or bags.
The Lego wall-mounted key holder is great. Though the little Lego studs do wear a bit on the most commonly used keys. Easily fixed with more Lego and a bit of adhesive though.
These days when I find the car has been left unlocked on the driveway I just get the keys and lock it. And in a simple, timely, statement I'll just say 'I locked the car'. Stuff gets in the way of a regular routine that can mean that simple step gets left out. Work bags, a diversion to the bin, a child coming home and offering distraction... Back in the day, I'd say 'In this house... we lock the car'. Though that does become tedious with repetition.
Persistent reminders to my children when they would leave for primary school seem to have got them in the habit of always closing the front door when they leave. Early on it was common to walk through the house to see the front door swinging wide open sometime after they had left. 🙄
Keys on different rings.
Get her used to closing the door and locking it behind her? It'd be difficult to lock from the inside with the keys on the outside.. 😀
edit; unless you've got a yale, obvs.
A neighbours done this with his kids. Daughter "lost" 3 or 4 front door keys in a 6 month period.
Is that all?
Weekly occurrence with Mrs North. Often more regular.
Lately, it's three sets of house keys. One of which is my set (which she lifted from the front door as she set off to work one morning). Mine are the spare master set for the house (incl. garage etc.). I'd obviously have used the master set myself (or the spare front door key I keep) but - that's right(!) - she's recently lost all of those too. Amazingly, while turning her work bag and handbag inside out I did find her house keys. But still no sign of either master set. She'll have left them somewhere at work. Somewhere being any number of buildings/colleagues offices.... Just as she has done with other items including her diamond engagement ring and her (Rolex) watch...
As of today she can't find her purse or iPhone. And she hasn't yet lost her car keys because she's just used her car. Now, there's every likelihood the car is unlocked on the drive, but at least I've retrieved her house keys from the outside of the front door when the chap came knocking to collect for the Poppy Appeal. Her car is worth far more than mine. At least we don;t live opposite a pub car park with lots of people coming and going....
It's not like she's an idiot - she's got three degrees FFS, spends her days creating and teaching complex scientific material to masters, PhD and medical students and is highly respected in her field. But when it comes to simple things like basic domestic security and remembering where she's l;eft her essential possession, she's utterly hopeless. And to make it worse she'd be the first to whine if we were burgled (though the state she leaves our bedroom some days it would be hard to tell the difference).
OP - I share your pain.
And breathe.....
If you live in the right place, you need to lock neither house out car. We had neighbours who used the ignition as a key store.
I left the door wide open overnight in a dennistoun flat once.
I was allerted to this by my flatmate as he stepped over me to get to work in the morning.
As of today she can't find her purse or iPhone.
At least you can use Find iPhone to locate the phone...
She [i]has[/i] got it turned on, hasn't she?
Wouldn't be so bad if they were ordinary keys. 8 or 10 quid each.Is that all?
These are super duper hero keys. About 40-50 quid each to get cut. So everytime one goes missing. He either digs out the last one that went missing (if it's surfaced by then.) Or gets a new one.
I reckon he's got about 6 spares by now. Glad I just have ordinary keys.
But losing an engagement ring, iPhone, purse and rolex as well as regular key loss takes serious effort.
[quote=matt_outandabout ]If you live in the right place, you need to lock neither house out car. We had neighbours who used the ignition as a key store.
after wasting a hour, now the first place I look at the in-laws if I need to move a car is in the ignition.
[b]OP[/b] things sound strained right now, and if she's tired and your relationship is under tension, now is not the right time to be a smarterse by proving you're right about the keys. No car moving stuff please. Funny and understandable but you both lose. Appeal to emotions, say it worries you that she might be endangering herself and the kids. And see if you can sort the other stuff.