I was watching an episode of One foot in the grave and thought how lovely Margaret is. 😂
You start wearing vests.
You look forward to a cuppa and a nice sit down
Varifocal prescription. **** old shit eyes.
hair growing out of your ears and long eyebrows
Friday night, the wife is away and you think "Great, I can finish the jigsaw!"
Getting out of bed and finding it faster to identify the bits that don't hurt.
Coke and hookers means watching Mortimer and Whitehouse with a glass of fizzy pop.
And thinking a polo shirt with a v-neck, in clashing pastel shades, is how to entice a lady 😉
And thinking a polo shirt with a v-neck, in clashing pastel shades, is how to entice a lady
oooh. saucer of cream sir?
Couple of years ago I was having trouble getting my son to sleep, stayed in the room until he dropped off. Waited a few minutes and triumphantly got up to go.
The crack from both knees woke him up.
Decided to start getting back into shape yesterday, so started on my old core exercises last night.
Lower back pain this morning, turns out I can't just crash out the same numbers as last summer before breaking my foot got me out of routine. Hobbling around like my 79 year old dad today...
When you can't remember what you wrote in the last version of this thread...
...erm. Have you seen my phone charger?
You start to hate the young.Mind,they do seem to be vicious little feral scumbags these days Unlike us if course
You forget what you went into the room for. Or where the thing you've had for the last 30 minutes has gone.
You are sent pictures of yourself at an event you remember vividly, then look around at your colleagues and realise when the pics were taken, the majority of them weren’t born.
When one of you forgets to un lock the rear shock and drops into a 8km 1200m descent and wonders at the bottom why he couldn't keep up. 🤔
School boy error.😂
When one of you forgets to un lock the rear shock and drops into a 8km 1200m descent and wonders at the bottom why he couldn't keep up.
One of my best stage placings in an enduro was when I’d forgotten to unlock the shock. Was the rowdiest stage of the day too 🤣
When sitting down there is an involuntary sigh from the diaphragm
When you turn up at the hotel to deliver or collect bags and the much younger woman at reception says "I'll help you with those", or "shall I take that big one".
...when you have more hair on your arse than your head!
Buying an old motorcycle is considered by your family to be your second mid-life crisis.
@PJay I was offered a seat at St Pancras by a young couple recently 😞
I know user name checks out 😁
The irony is trying to type this I shrunk the keyboard on my phone and had to look up how to resize it 🙄
I now have that special stick for stirring paint
The roady chain gang you're in gets overtaken by a rider with his girlfriend on his wheel.
When a few glasses of nice wine gives you a low sleep score of 54, due to only 5 hrs sleep between 11pm and 630 am ..
The roady chain gang you're in gets overtaken by a rider with his girlfriend on his wheel.
Oh the humiliation, overtaken by a woman.
When you give up taking a spare tube and levers because you know you could never get the tyre on/off out in the wilds.
As you can probably tell I've just read the tyre lever thread and realised it's just me, not that manufacturers are making sidewalls too stiff to remove with a standard size lever
I associate with way too many of these.
I arrived late at a work meeting a couple of weeks back, no chairs left. A colleague leapt up to offer me his. I told him to sit back down!
When the ranting on the Uk government thread just looks depressing.
You get genuinely excited about the prospect of having full length mudguards on your bike
When bending down to tie shoelaces, considering what else you could be doing while you're down there 😉
You get invited to more funerals than weddings.
Actually, this. I was at a funeral last week and we were discussing whether or not it's now time to buy a "funeral outfit".
When all the "big" birthdays coming up are 60th, and conversation is all about retirement plans.
There's a trailer for Geoff Norcott (sorry) on FB where he talks about middle aged sex. He says its like accidentally getting someone else's Deliveroo order. Not planned or expected, but you're very grateful none the less.
Some years back a nice young lady offered me her seat on the bus.
“Hubert, ever the gentleman, offers his seat to a lady in a public lavatory. There is considerable misunderstanding.”
When you're at gig and realise the most of the audience wasn't born last time you were in there (02 Institute / Sanctuary Digbeth
When you painfully realise you represent the older section of the demographic at gigs…
I also find myself enjoying getting slippers at Christmas.
Some years back a nice young lady offered me her seat on the bus.
Hmmmph, yes. I was crossing the carpark at Lidl with an armful of stuff because I was too tight to buy a bag and I hadn't expected to buy as much. A woman in her twenties offered to help me get to the car!
Only people of a certain age hover around the middle of Lidl
I stood by at a different fire station to the one I usually work at on Boxing day, I was chatting with the other guy on the back of the truck and it transpired we had both served in the same regiment before the fire brigade, he enquired when I had joined up and when I told him he laughed and said "I was only three when you joined" that made me feel old ☹️
There's a trailer for Geoff Norcott (sorry) on FB where he talks about middle aged sex. He says its like accidentally getting someone else's Deliveroo order. Not planned or expected, but you're very grateful none the less.
Sorry, not sorry Geoff. I don’t use Deliveroo! 😉
When all the "big" birthdays coming up are 60th, and conversation is all about retirement plans.
I remember when I first joined GoFar my next big birthday was my thirtieth. Now it’s my sixtieth!
Having just celebrated a birthday ending in 0 (I'll leave you to guess which one) I went online to book an eye exam to be presented with the following age options - 0-16, 16-59, 60+
Et Tu Asda Opticians
You don't know who any of the bands/acts are that are nominated in categories at music awards
“Hubert, ever the gentleman, offers his seat to a lady in a public lavatory. There is considerable misunderstanding.”
When you can remember lines from stuff that was recorded 48yrs ago but have no idea what's in the charts today.
When you crouch down to tie your lace and think is there anything else I can do while I am down here....
Realising you'll be long dead and buried before many of your colleagues can retire. There was me thinking I may last 4-6 years before retirement (60-62). Then realising if you were offered severance, you'd be out the door before the printer ink had dried.
I literally fell asleep during lunchtime today,although I blame working from home 🙂
Happily I do have wedding to go to, a nephew, and have been told to wear a suit and tie, I didn't even wear a suit to my own wedding. So I took one off its hanger, hoovered it and put it on - it fits ! It's 40 years old, shoulder pads, disco style shiny stuff woven in to the cloth. Madame Edukator says it's fine. Very strange looking in the mirror at an old man wearing my suit.
.....
It’s your last day at work tomorrow 🙂
(It’s been like the last few days at school….)
When the new apprentice is in their 20's, and you realise that's a third of your age.
Two way street though. They must suddenly be acutely aware that the old codger showing them the job is actually showing them their life in 2066.
When your younger colleague reveals that they don’t know what the “floppy disk” Save icon represents.
When you have t-shirts older than the majority of the people you work with.
When you have t-shirts older than the majority of the people you work with.
I have an OMD t-shirt from 1985, it still fits 🙂
A few weeks ago my grandson got to the top of the hill before me. I was on my lovely light carbon gravel bike. He was on my (not very) old Giant Trance which I'd given him for his 14th birthday.
You don't know who any of the bands/acts are that are nominated in categories at music awards
Ah, well, that’s often been the case for the last 50 years! There have long been categories that hold zero interest for me. 🤷🏼♂️
You don't know who any of the bands/acts are that are nominated in categories at music awards
Ah, well, that’s often been the case for the last 50 years! There have long been categories that hold zero interest for me. 🤷🏼♂️
In answer to the question, when intentions lag far behind the ability to carry out the intended mission.
Like a twenty mile ride on a long-travel hardtail ceases to be enjoyable and becomes a major chore.
You don't know who any of the bands/acts are that are nominated in categories at music awards
How about when you don't recognise the categories? WTF is "drill" and why isn't it sponsored by bosch?
When you discover that the Millennials we've been sneering down at for years are now being sneered up at by Gen Z. Poor bastards can't win.
When putting taking charge of my bike for a ride with a snake hipped work colleague and my wife’s parting words to me were “remember, he’s half your age”.
When a colleague, who is exactly half your age, is told by a degree student "oh, you're 'old' old....."
When sitting down there is an involuntary sigh from the diaphragm
and the involuntary groan when you stand up again.
I remember when I first started as a postie I was in my mid 20s ripping the piss out of the old guard . Funny how quickly that comes back to bite your arse 😔
When all you can hear walking up a set of stairs are your ankles....or when your proudly tell work colleagues you did the great north run in 1988 and several tell you that was before they were born.
When a colleague says 'Do you realise you've worked here longer than I've been alive?'
When you discover that Axl Rose has turned 64 today!
When you drop something on to the floor and think : Bugger, this is going to hurt bending down to retrieve it…..
When you discover that Axl Rose has turned 64 today!
Oh please no!
Though to be fair, wasn't sure he'd see 50.
Though to be fair, wasn't sure he'd see 50.
Why? He's actually pretty clean living. He wasn't the heavy drug user in the band.
and the involuntary groan when you stand up again.
Noises that used to be part of recovery after a big day out on the bike are now present after a couple of commutes in a week.
You’re starting to take a keen interest in Fender Stratocasters, boutique amplifiers and naturism???