[Closed] What's it all about, all this arguing on here? Serious question.

[i]I admire SFB for his dedication to deliberately missing the point entirely[/i]

me too 🙂

MF - responding to direct questions.

Druidh - its not just paranoia. Want to know more then you have my email. I do know its not malicious from Al but is based around his misconception of my motives.

And with that - I am out of here. I am tired of the childish unpleasantness and this thread has crystallised a few things for me.

I'm going to try and embrace my inner idiot from now on and see how that goes

Welcome to my church!

TJ - for what it's worth I've never thought you to be motivated by forum domination. I read your posts and believe they're written by someone who passionately believes what they type, is sometimes hell bent on ensuring they're understood, but not deliberately antagonistic.

Thank you TSY!

very reflective... so why continue to do so?

Good question. One I'm hoping to find some sort of 'answer' for, with this thread.

i'm going to be honest here and i hope you dont take too much offence buddy: you can be a really funny guy on this forum, very perceptive at times and seem like you'd be a fun guy to hang around with... but then sometimes you wade into a thread and destroy any fun by appearing to be (intentionally or not) incredibly condescending and a real buzz killington. its a shame because, as the tags on this thread might suggest.. people tend to end up only perceiving you in the negative light as that sticks in minds for longer than the fun stuff.

Fair enough. But in my 'defence', I will say that there are certain people on here who really seem to have taken a dislike to me, which I think is pretty sad, and like to 'bait' me at any opportunity. As is evident in some of those tags above.

Thing is, I do happen t come from a different background and set of circumstances from some folk on here, and as a result may have differening views to the 'norm' that some people think is the 'status quo'. I ruffle a few feathers. Doesn't make me wrong. So, when it comes to arguments, I don't see why I shouldn't put my point of view across like anyone else.

Am I like that in real life? Yep. I'll speak out if I don't think something's right. I won't sit there with the rest of the sheep, thinking yet not saying. I'll voice my opinions. I accept this may get me into confrontations, but I'm prepared for that. I think it's important to stand up for what you believe in.

Arguing on here is like a sport; you need to understand the 'rules' inside out, and make sure you bring your best game. Always back yourself up with facts/evidence, or else you'll look a fool.

Many times, I've got one over an 'opponent', and they've resorted to insults and abuse. At that stage, I know I've won. Then, it's simply a fun game to humiliate them further, and yes, I do enjoy winding people up. I am more aware than anyone, that I may have 'issues' that need resolving. But I'm not ashamed of that; that's just who I am. Whilst a certain amount of compromise is necessary to be able to exist comfortably in a society, I don't believe in betraying your principles and moral beliefs. If someone else doesn't like that, then tough, I can't help that. In that sense, I sort of understand what TJ is trying to say.

Does any of it really matter?

I'd say it does, for me at least. STW has been a great resource for meeting others and forming new and fruitful relationships. Isn't that the whole point? I don't want to go on rides where people actively avoid me because we don't 'get on' on here, that's just silly. So, if there's anything I can do to become a better person, then I think it's a duty to look at that, and perhaps act on any issues that may be apparent.

But it's also a forum where respect, empathy and understanding are vitally important, hence this discussion.

To me, most folk on here I'd be happy to meet. Some, I'd love to meet. But only one or two would I avoid, as I suspect most others would too.

That said, an STW London Xmas drinks evening needs sorting soon.... 🙂

I don't like arguing, and most of the time it's a waste of time, but so often people on here spout utter nonsense and should be corrected so people who may be less knowledgable don't get confused and end up fitting something silly.

good honest answer elfin 🙂

and if it matters TJ, i'm with TSY on:

I've never thought you to be motivated by forum domination. I read your posts and believe they're written by someone who passionately believes what they type, is sometimes hell bent on ensuring they're understood, but not deliberately antagonistic.

Thing is, I do happen t come from a different background and set of circumstances from some folk on here, and as a result may have differening views to the 'norm' that some people think is the 'status quo'. I ruffle a few feathers. Doesn't make me wrong. So, when it comes to arguments, I don't see why I shouldn't put my point of view across like anyone else.

I have no knowledge of your background or circumstances. As and when we manage a London STW beer & curry evening, I'd be happy to buy you a pint.

But don't think that you're that different from anyone else here; you don't have a clue about my background, either. Where I've come from, how I got here.

That's the beauty of the internet, I suppose; the ability to discuss without much of the prejudice one might normally experience. I have no idea whether the people I 'meet' on STW are able-bodied or disabled, straight/gay/undecided, brown/yellow/black/white, male/female.......the quality of the argument is the key.

What angers me are those who hold themselves out as an expert and are just plain wrong. An opinion is fine, just call it out as such; stating an opinion as fact is bound to provoke arguments.

+1 phil

I do happen t come from a different background and set of circumstances from some folk on here

Come on Fred. Fess up. You're an alien aren't you. I know your game sunshine. You want nothing less than total global domination and to enslave the entire human population. And you intend to achieve that by capturing one particularly petty, pedantic and moany part of the internet at a time

I'm right aren't i? 😉

Binners - you miss on crucial aspect of his strategy, the pyramid effect. As he slowly converts us one by one we can take his message to other forums.
I've been copying and pasting Elfin's posts and replicating the word for sometime now... just check out SafetyPin on Mumsnet.

Most arguements on here end up between the usual suspects battering each other with endless google facts to ensure we all know they are right. Some folk get sucked into these threads for brief contributions, I think usually on the grounds the may actually care about the subject being argued or some other personal investment in the debate. But they usually seem to pull out when they realise there are just a polarised few that become deeply entrenched in a narrow view. As the nature of a lot of things discussed are quite complex, an overall win on a wide and complex debate is not possible so the views becomes more narrow as the debate goes on, as any compromise would not help them win. As such any useful debate becomes strangled and the threads just tend to fizzle out as people see this.

I like how this thread has turned into one big argu...

You lot are right sad people indeed.

Try riding a bike 😆

a what?

A bicycle? (so I'm told)

TJ I'm sorry you feel that way and I'm sorry you won't discuss it as your post contains errors & ironic assumptions - eg. I don't consider you a liar, and I ride at my own pace...and in our last disagreement 2 posters were saying I was right but according to you I was not.

I could go on...

But it's also a forum where respect, empathy and understanding are vitally important, hence this discussion.

Oh, DO stop talking bollocks, dear boy...

pmsl that last tag 'rutting for nerds' 😆

my dick is bigger than yours and I know how to use it, where as my gran taught you lots of bad habits.

Al - on the previous page you state that you don't believe me.
On that ride you said you sprinted off to make a point that you were quicker than me

If you want to discuss it email me.

[img] [/img]

I'd have to say I tend to stand with TeeJ politically with most of his posts. But I'll tell you what, I admire his tenacity hugely. I just don't have anywhere near enough motivation or energy or will to fight the fight like TeeJ does. I wish I did sometimes, because there are few who will constantly stand up for themselves in the face of personal abuse like he does. Some of the threads in which he becomes embroiled are tantamount to bullying. Yet, he'll keep tipping away. And that's what pisses the bullies off.

Whenever someone posts something personal or is anguished, TeeJ always replies with level headedness and compassion. He never takes the piss out of anyone and can take a joke. This forum would be all the worse without him (as well as taking a massive swing to the right 🙂 )

He could learn to walk away a bit more though and not rise to the baiting.

bInners is up on points for creativity. respect.

People take this forum, or themselves too seriously sometimes.

Having read none of the replies to the OP on this thread but wanting my two pennies worth I can honestly say that I really think you argumentative lot seriously need to get laid a hellavalot more than you currently are. Then you would be less grumpy. That is a proffessional opinion btw. 🙂 Happy arguing

I've just read this thread through for the first time and it's been a fascinating and interesting read, and I'd like to give a big thank you to elfin for starting it. I'm not going to contribute anything much, there are those on here who could argue me into oblivion, I'm nowhere near well educated enough to really get involved with many of the topics, especially when politics are involved, but I would like to say, as someone who started on here back in 2003, this is the [i]only[/i] forum I contribute to, and I find it endlessly interesting and entertaining, and I wouldn't want to change the way STW functions for the world.
And whoever put up the tag about elfinsafety being condescending quite obviously isn't bright enough to understand the meaning of the word; there have not been any condescending posts that I've noticed at all.
Elfin, should I manage to get up to that there London Village sometime, I should be delighted to meet up for a beer or two. It's a bit of a treck from over here in Wiltshire, but I'll try to get over sometime.
It's now 1:48am, time I went to bed. Nighty night.

Coming in at the end (bin away)..............it's debate innit, which ensures we keep sharp and keep thinking. Entirely non-antagonistic insofar as it's not personal (dunno any of you, so how could it be?) but the battle of ideas does us good. Lots of us Brits are scared of full-on debate, but watch how plenty of Johnny Foreigners go at it hammer and tongs, and then end up embracing each other (or killing each other!) The great thing about a good bracing debate is that often a synthesis, a third idea, emerges out of the clash of 2 antagonistic points of view. That's great........and then we go off to lay/get laid. It's all about passionately held beliefs and feelings really, and a world without passion is dull indeed.

Emma82 what/where are you up to over the weekend?

OK dekadanse you'll do if Emma is busy

Ohhh no, drunk posting 🙁 sorry but I do still kinda agree with myself! Mostly nursing a hangover this wknd cynical!

Me too. I deffo need to get laid more. Wanna cyber?

Umm no thanks, I think I'll stick with real with the man next to me.ta for the offer though, very sweet of you. 🙂

molgrips

must resist.. but the minutes and hours tick by... someone may have replied.. they might be misunderstanding the point.. just a quick check

emma82

Ohhh no, drunk posting sorry but I do still kinda agree with myself

I think I'll stick with real with the man next to me

....................such is the lure of the STW 'argument'. How many previous posters opened this almost as soon as they awoke. C'mon, own up 😉

Sad ain't it, I have been awake since 5 though, booze doesn't let me sleep much so am now bored stoopid

How many previous posters opened this almost as soon as they awoke. C'mon, own up

😳

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Symptoms (from Wikipedia)

* Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
* Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
* Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
* Rarely acknowledges mistakes and/or imperfections
* Requires excessive admiration
* Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
* Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
* Lacks empathy: is unwilling or unable to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
* Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
* Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitude.

Anyone fit the bill?

Anyone fit the bill?

me me me ... I even have narcissist tattooed in old english script across my belly in the style of a puerto rican gang member!

reported

How many previous posters opened this almost as soon as they awoke. C'mon, own up

Oh dear, I woke up 9 mins ago, maybe I should start leaving the laptop downstairs 😳

Druidh you need to get l...

😆

The "reported" comment was about a spam post just before mine.

If you'd been up and logged on earlier, you'd have seen it 😉

If the debating and discussion doesn't resort to a personal level, which is still debatable in my opinion as you don't know me, and doesn't degenerate into name calling and insults, there isn't or shouldn't be a problem. That said, the insulting does tell you alot about the person posting.So,get a grip and grow some you Fidiots! 😆

If the debating and discussion doesn't resort to a personal level, which is still debatable in my opinion as you don't know me

More amusing is when previous disagreements are carried forward onto other threads, sometimes weeks and months later, usually ending with the protagonist proclaiming loudly that they are being victimised, 'misunderstood' and bleating they are innocent of all accusations.

Sound familiar?

Been away a few days

read 1st few on page 1 and last few - hasn't turned into fun so I assume it's the usual carping

I'm out

I haven't read it all. I love the forum, it's a microcosm of the outside world. We are wonderful, nasty, beautiful, ugly, generous, mean, understanding, judgmental etc... in fact, human. Yeah, there are some keyboard warriors on here but so what, that's life, same as phone warriors, car warriors and bus warriors (who never want to fight man-to-woman, why IS that?)

Dissent is healthy. Long live dissent!

True to an extent, but many, or even most of the replies on here have to be based solely on what the poster has written now or in the past,

Isn't that the point though, you build a forum persona and have to live or die by that persona, no matter whether it is like the real person or not. But you should still be able to recognise the difference your internet persona and real persona and the origin of the comments, shouldn't you? And therefore not take the comments as personal or a personal attack.

Eg. I have an image of a fedora'ed Don Simon sitting on his balcony, sipping a glass of orange freshly squeezed between the thighs of a local peasant girl, overlooking the yachts in a sun-kissed marina while the local fisherman go about their business in a dirty harbour just out of view. How far that is from the truth I have no idea

That's a fair description to be honest.

More amusing is when previous disagreements are carried forward onto other threads, sometimes weeks and months later, usually ending with the protagonist proclaiming loudly that they are being victimised, 'misunderstood' and bleating they are innocent of all accusations.

Sound familiar?

I know for some this is the case for me though, my memory isn't good enough for that type of thing... 😆