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If cows took over the world, became carniverous and started eating humans, what do you think the best cuts of meat would be, and what do you think would be best for stewing?
On a cow the fillets seems to go for the most, because they are tender and there isn't much of them per cow (even though other cuts are more flavoursome). Shin on the otherhand is cheap as chips (but possibly my favourite braising cut).
I would imaging that the legs on a human would be the hardest working part and probably fairly tough? Especially for a cyclist. I'm not sure what the equivalent of fillet steak would be. I imagine that people with desk jobs would be more tender than people with active jobs.
I've just realised i've thought about this too much.
IGMC.
It would depend on the human too.
For example, a fillet of Gillian McKeith would be less valuable than a sirloin of Nigella.
Mmmmmm longpig mmmmm
@Poppa, I suppose you enjoy the bits in the walking dead when the Zombies eat?
I'd think rump would probably be popular, especially if Kylie ended up in the food chain!
For example, a fillet of Gillian McKeith would be less valuable than a sirloin of Nigella.
I imagine Gillian McKeith would be one of those 'delicacies' that cows in the Far East would eat, the sort of thing that would generally turn the stomach of a Western cow.
who would taste better:
meat eater?
vegetarian?
vegan?
fatty?
athlete?
middle manager who eats what he wants and has the belly to prove it but not obese?
would kids taste better than old people?
who would taste better:
Surf Mat. No question
Amazing! Four posts on a topic about a future in which cows have taken over the world and someone mentions Kylie's rear! A new record shurely!
As for meat, I'd be tempted to say the sirloin. The back would get a decent workout all the time, and the meat would be lovely and tender. Not sure that sedentary people would make that good eating. Their meat would be too marbled with fat, and would be produced at the expense of too much cheap food and booze. Would you want to eat a cow that had been fed on the equivalent of Iceland sausage hotpot (£3 for a whole family meal!) and White Lightning?
I suspect if one were to eat many on here it would be the sphincter which seems to do the most work....
back would get a decent workout all the time, and the meat would be lovely and tender
The tenderest meat is the stuff that does the least work (e.g. fillet), but the most flavoursome (and tough) is the stuff that does the most work!
Their meat would be too marbled with fat,
Also, you actually want your meat to be marbled with fat if you are roasting it...
You would need some sort of tracking system for humans if this came about - some sort of human version of the livestock passports that we have now, otherwise unscrupulous dealers might tell you you're eating Kylie rump when in fact it was Gordon Brown's arse cheeks.
sweetmeats?
I think Nigella would make a fine sausage filler.
I'd think rump would probably be popular, especially if Kylie ended up in the food chain!
Why on earth would anyone want to eat surgically and chemically [i]enhanced[/i] meat?
Surely it'd have to be the sweetbreads?
If the cows had shows like "I'm a celebrity get me out of here" what body parts would they be challenged to eat?
Thatcher's ring-piece?
Prescott's moobs?
the "oysters"
The ****.
cranberry - Member
You would need some sort of tracking system for humans if this came about - some sort of human version of the livestock passports that we have now, otherwise [b]unscrupulous dealers might tell you you're eating Kylie rump when in fact it was Gordon Brown's arse cheeks[/b].
When Kylie entered the food chain, they'd have to televise everything, the slaughter & subsequent auction of the best cuts.
Let's face it, all ireelevant as cows won't take over the world, nor can hooves operate cookers & ovens, but good for a bit of midweek giggles.
I'm more surprised that Nigella beat Kylie!
crispy fried nipples
Best tasting human would definitely be a cider and ale glut who liked eating lots of porridge!
Penis. It would be a delicacy. Mine would be worth more as theres not much on it.
nigella could provide the bangers to go with the mash.
Within minutes the thread descends into a bizarre eating/perving obsession with Kylie and Nigella and a preponderance of genital gags.
I should have known better than to ask a serious question on STW.
Stoner: are sweetmeats what I think they are?
I was going for a bacon sarnie, might have cheese today
Rick Waller has the same body fat % as a pork scratching, now I like pork scratchings, but... no thanks!
For example, a fillet of Gillian McKeith would be less valuable than a sirloin of Nigella.
Arguable point
the rat faced little fraud has so little meat it might prove to have some form of rarity value, so be of interest to the insect eating inhabitants of the far east, whilst there's plenty of the voluptous nigella to go round
Hmmm...Bruce Forsyth's underarms....
I should have known better than to ask a serious question on STW
I'm not sure the opening post could be called a serious question though! 😆
Bingo wings?
adrenal gland
poppa - Member
I should have known better than to ask a serious question on STW.
WTF did you expect FFS?! No point getting all offended when you ask such a ridiculous question in the first place.
Where would cows get their milk from then? Would they have loads of twenty somethings locked in a shed, all being forced hormones to make them continuously lactate?
Would they have "Happy Human" free-range organically fed carcasses on sale in in supermookets?
supermookets
Get out!
[b]NOW[/b]
But onto sweetmeats...
I get confused as there is also sweetbread.
Is sweetmeat the conkers and sweetbread the stomach lining?
Then there is shortbread but that is something different again.
Most expensive? Cue joke about Irish brains.
*steps forward, takes bow*
mmmmmm shedloads of lactating 20 year olds with enhanced uber udders
I'm sorry, I have nothing intelligent or constructive to add to this thread, as I am too distracted by the thought of biting Kylie and Nigella's bottoms. 😳
Mmm....bottoms......
Could you try a pillow instead?
will the girls be farmed for their milk in this moo world
I always thought you were a bit of a bottom feeder elf......
BBSB might want to keep that particular "interest" to yourself... Mind you I like the way you think. 😳
Im sure i've "herd" all this before!
Would cows come up with such phrases as:
like a human with a gun, eh?
As much use a tits on a man
and would you call the irritating bovines silly humans?
Incidentally kobe beef is massaged every day and fed beer. i could live with that for a while...
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Come on, this is getting silly now. Can we please try to give the jokes a rest? I am writing a dissertation on this and was hoping for some sensible ideas.
I am writing a dissertation on this and was hoping for some sensible ideas.
LOL - good one 😆
What udder drivel.
Moove along, nothing to see here.
I do hope you'll be crediting us for contributions to [u]your[/u] homework!
He'll be saying that it's market research next.
???
well, for your homework - the tastiest cut, according to my nextdoor neighbour, is apparently the little muscle between your thumb and forefinger. (and I don't mean [i]that[/i] little muscle - put it away, dirty boy)
Lets see what I can come up with on the hoof..
No question about it - Kylie's butt!
ps..
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surely if its that important some real world testing is required?
If this is for your dissertation i'll eat my own ass.
Blimey you're a cynical bunch - it's all true! I'm quite worried actually since i'm not on good terms with my supervisor. In fact we had a bit of a beef last week, when he told me my last piece of work was offal. I know I shouldn't steak all my hopes on it, but I really want to impress him with this project, or I might be for the chop. I really want to be on the topside of the class, and all you guys can do is rib me about it... 😥
what a load of mince.
Poppa, if you are serious about the dissertation, then you need to read some Aldous Huxley, I'm pretty sure he wrote some stuff on a similar theme, though the title eludes me at the moment. Anyone?
Before anyone spends too much time on it, no, I was entirely taking the piss!
EDIT: Thought the swear filter might take care of that one?!
Don't worry Poppa, I was referring to Brave Moo World
poppa = Mr Nutt in a different trollage device
What do cows call their beef curtains anyway?
Vachina? (Well, the french cows anyway)
poppa - I should have known better than to ask a serious question on STW.
WTF? Poor troll.
🙄
If cows took over the world, we'd be ok - they're herbivores.
If cows took over the world, we'd be ok - they're herbivores.
Thats what they said about hitler
Oh dear. 🙁
We've gone from Kylie and Nigella's bottoms, to Adolf Hitler.
I assume you meant Adolf? Or perhaps his sister Paula?
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I don't think her bottom would've bin particularly appealing, somehow...
Kylie's prime stuff, too valuable to go into the food chain. What we need to do is to up the quality of existing stock by a selective breeding process with Kylie.
Form a line gentlemen and er ladies (may need a fluffer or two)....
Obviously the tastiest part of a person is/are BRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNZZZZZ.
The infraspinatus, or slices of calf like bacon.
The infraspinatus, or slices of calf like bacon.
Ya eedjit. Bacon is from a pig, not a calf, you're thinking of veal.
my dad got taken into hospital this week, and I learned how valuable it is to have a pancreas. I dunno how tasty it is, but it's certainly valuable.
Officially, the most tender muscle would be the GRACILLIS muscle, in the inside of the leg. Not really used in day to day upright living, so would be my cut if choice....
DrP