[Closed] What upgrade would you give yourself?

Better understanding of social cues so I don't make so many huge social mistakes

More optimism, currently my software v5.0 is running slow and I’d like a patch to take it to beyond this Brexit fiasco to say v5.6

Ta.

Rid me of IBS, Gluten Intolerance.

Oh and wolverine healing abilities

Hips that work

A straight left ring finger, less dodgy knees, the ability to eat what I like without getting fat and a breathing system with no allergies would be great.

A memory that works for longer that 10 minutes and can retain more than one thing at a time. A wee bit smarter as at least two of the kids are going to be miles in front of me and I'd like to help them out later without being totally lost.
Being a bit taller would be nice as booster seat jokes and getting on a train or bus for a half jokes gets a bit boring after a while.

I could go on but that'll do 🙂

The ability to make conversation easily.

Better knees, better eyesight, a prostate....... list goes on 😯

takes me too long to boot up in the morning.

oh and more gravitas

the ability to eat what I like without getting fat

Yup, I swear I can put on weight just [i]looking[/i] at food... 👿

I'd quite like my right leg sorted (phlebitis) whilst I'm at it.

I'd also quite like some MTFU so's I'm not easily put off by looking out the window and thinking '.....nah' 😳

New spine and nerves that work how they did pre-13/10/89

Interesting that people are listing the things they want fixing, rather than improving...

Not be diabetic
Tear proof skin
10W/kg

Take off 20 years
New right elbow
New left wrist

A bit less anxiety and depression would be nice too.

The wife.

New master control unit with anxiety and depression bugs fixed

IBS fixed

Dodgy L5 disc made from something stronger than bone and cartilage

Oh and ability to put on muscle

That’ll do

Less fatness. More hair.

I would like to be able to wheelie,speak Spanish and play the guitar.

Bionic arm. Like in a sci-fi movie or book.

Wolverine healing as previously mentioned.

VO2 max of 70 or so. I'm not looking to be a pro, just be slightly better on slightly less training.

To be awesome at singing 8)

Less depression and upgrades to my spine and knees

New teeth
New eyes
Leg extensions (4" on each thigh bone would do ta)

Knock 10 years off.
Better teeth.
Couple of inches taller.
The ability to only need 4 hours sleep.
Bit smarter.
Bit more confidence.

Ten second response delay when in the company of wife's religious pharisee friends.

A memory that works please and as an upgrade If I could fly that would be handy.

Functioning eyes and memory. Fed up of being a blind forgetful fool.

A commercially viable talent.

More patience and less able to be distracted.

Just the plane old Superman upgrade would do me.

Hmm...

Left knee that can ride for more than 1 day at a time?

Or eyes that aren't falling to bits?

Tricky...

Not having osteoarthritis in my knees would be amazing. If that was sorted I could exercise more and shift the excess weight I'm carrying.

Physically get rid of Atrial Fibrillation, although hopefully the NHS will do it in a few days time.
Mentally I could do with a boost too

Motivation battery could do with being replaced, current one doesn't last very long any more

seadog101 - Member
The ability to make conversation easily.

Far more upgrades required that I've ever given to my bikes!

I would like to get rid of the coeliac problem, but in hindsight it has kept me from eating over processed food and drinking overly much beer.

I think new neck/shoulder muscles and bones would be preferred over anything, they give me near constant groaning pain.

An anxiety filter would be useful.

Not an upgrade - just a complete reboot.

The ability to nuke things I object to from orbit.

Roll back 22 years and make me less handsome.

The ability to fly, x-ray vision and to be ten times as strong.

I'd ask for a better social skills, including but not limited to an ability to attract women, but I thought I should go for something more realistic.

50 years back with no loss of memory.

Seriously? Well, I’ve just started a new relationship after close on fifteen years, and the lady in question hasn’t had a relationship since her partner left her ten years ago, so the stamina of the battery bunny wouldn’t go amiss...

Ten second response delay when in the company of wife's religious pharisee friends.

Come on now, epicyclo, you can't just leave it at that and leave us all wondering how you might have put your foot in your mouth. Fess up. What did you say to them?

slowster - Member
Come on now, epicyclo, you can't just leave it at that and leave us all wondering how you might have put your foot in your mouth. Fess up. What did you say to them?

It started with FFS 🙂

After listening to mealymouthed tutting about single mothers, gay marriage, the Sabbath and catholics while my wife was sat squirming, I launched into a paraphrased version of

"But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in."

Wife is from a Free Church background and these were relatives. Most of them are lovely people but some it's difficult to tell their lips from a fundamental sphincter.

However I don't think I'll be invited to any more funerals.

(My religious knowledge is a hangover of what was beaten into me as a kid)

The ability to resist temptation.

I've always wanted an eye in the end of my finger.

I'd also like to be able to zap poor drivers into oblivion.

quite happy physically. Not even bothered about repairing the missing digit.

Upgrades though:
A Babelfish hardware module
Antigravity belt.

An extra inch of girth, happy with the length.

A heart that works and biomechanical perfection. I'll put up with the hayfever with those two upgrdes.

Good joint alignment and no overuse injuries, please!

Being better at stuff would be nice