[Closed] What Politician would you slap?

Blair - why not that face was made for slapping
Ed Milliband - it might wake him up
Nick Clegg - Just to see how many times you could before he actually objected

Romney, I reckon.

I predict this thread will run...

for...

a...

very...

long...

time!!! 😕

Anyway... Blair, Blair and Blair. Even with all the loony left on here who will undoubtedly say Cameron or Maggie, I still think Tony's gonna come in first place on this poll.

Nothing to do with his cheesy face, everything to do with what he did whilst PM, almost bringing the country to its knees having destroyed all sorts of industries (whilst propping up those that should have been allowed to die long ago with copious amounts of public money), allowing (nay, encouraging) his wife to rip this country off for her/their own personal gain time and time againe, creating himself a golden handshake job to walk into once he'd strategically stepped down as PM, and countless other things!

I'd do time, but I'd be hailed as a national hero for sure!

can you build up power punch like in streetfighter 2 to **** loads of 'em in one go? straight off I'd put Cameron in an institute for putting Hunt in charge of the NHS That's just nuts. Or is it the fact that no one cares about this stuff that is nuts. everyone else is nuts. I'd punch them - punch everyone that doesn't care or doesn't vote or think about stuff.... There is such a bored and uninterested element in society that has no interest or understanding of politics ( I am one of them really) - they/I are the ones that need a slap and need to understand that their opinion is the only one that matters. Need to forage some self esteem and understanding and confidence in ordinary bods that don't vote cos they don't understand what it means or what they mean. I don't see a government initiative in schools for that one.

Nick Clegg is just a little meat-puppet on the end of David Camerons hob-knob so a swift kick to the ball sack would sort both of them out for one jail term.

Lib Dems - Tiz a shame what's happened to them as they do or did have progressive big-thinkers who if given the chance could have made a genuine difference to the economy/state of the nation but who in their right mind would ever consider voting for them now.

Which leaves us with....Ed Milliband in the red corner.........I dunno bout him?, i doubt i could get that worked up about the tea-boy in charge of the opposition - he's a total non-entity and breeds an apathetic reaction from myself.

Mitt Romney?......now we're talking, let the happy slapping begin - quite possibly the most dangerous/deluded idiot yet to make his mark on the world, can i include include every single member of the republican party in this sweeping statement?. Anyone who votes republican is mentally unhinged and should be neutered as a matter of urgency.

Power punch you say?, go for it if you like but we don't want any so called friendly fire or collateral damage........Hmm'kay?.

Lib Dems - Tiz a shame what's happened to them as they do or did have progressive big-thinkers who if given the chance could have made a genuine difference to the economy/state of the nation but who in their right mind would ever consider voting for them now.

Like everyone who thinks they will never make it into power, they have great ideas with no idea how to make them happen.

If we are going International Slapping then Mitt is on the list GW Bush Jnr though I'm sure he wouldn't notice and from down under Tony Abbot

it'd be a powerpunch of education, empathy and self-realization for the thick and unwashed somafunk. That'd be cool.

BTW....this was a genuine discussion between 16 of us after a very boozy dinner and we all agreed to carry it out if the chance ever arises - thankfully one of the 16 is a very successful criminal defence lawyer and has agreed to throw the might of his practice behind us if any of us are stupid enough to go through with it.

We'll see....... 😀

It doesn't sound like a discussion to me, it just sounds like slagging people off, which is easy. Just on another level! I'm certainly no Tony Blair fan, I got a banning off here for starting a thread calling him a certain bad word, which he is. I'd batter thatcher though( if I could find the will to hurt another human being type disclaimer)

Kevevs : semi serious post for you.

So we agree we need an entire rethink of political power along with a genuine evaluation of actual worth vs monetary worth vs social influence in this country otherwise i am afraid i consider we as a generation, will go the way of so many civilisations before us. How can we possibly enforce our demands for change in the current political climate without us as individuals with a genuine grievance being kettled and corralled behind the door of terrorism or branded political dissidents.

I'm actually rather serious about this to be perfectly honest.......bout 15 odd years ago when i was in my early 20's i was elected to my local council which ruffled pretty much every feather possible given my lifestyle at the time. Upon entering into local and town politics i found a staggering ineptness from the elected members to deal with the responsibility of local politics and to be frank the majority of their policy decisions usually involved some personal dealings or possible backhanders which were impossible to prove as everyone closed ranks, I started to lose faith over the years as i was constantly informed "it's always been done this way - why change?" and if you so much as spoke out of turn or vetoed a vote it was reported in the local paper (gossip rag) and as the editor was a close personal friend of the local big-wigs it was a done deal to kick the trouble maker (me!) out.

So? - do we have an answer to our current situation?, I dunno to be honest but i'm going down kicking n' screaming and if anyone would like to join me then hey-ho! - join the bandwagon and we'll see if we can flatten the political/ruling establishment and hopefully we will end up with a genuine democracy, not this mickey mouse system we're allowed to have....yes sir....thank you sir....doff my cap to you sir.....Pfffft! - **** em all.

Can you not say ****? as in ****less?...

Hmmm...obviously not. - sorry 😕

Any Tory mp is offensive to me, though I find Jeremy hunt particularly detestful.

Put all their heads next to one another and punch the first very very hard.

C'mon, 7 hrs into this thread and no-one's mentioned Gove?

Obviously a metaphorical slap.

.....but in which case:

Thatcher
Pickles
Jeremy Hunt

for me.

fuzzhead - you beat me to it. He's my MP too so I'm ready and waiting for my chance... not that you see him round here very much/at all.

Can we just take Dave and Gideon as read? Then...

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he even looks like one of those kids blow-up punchbags

and Pob....

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The self-important little weasel

That fat useless odious objectionable **** Pickles, his conceited jowly face would get all wobbly too. And then I'd kick him in the nuts for good measure.

Dick Cheney

I'd like to slap a cabinet meeting with an ocean liner.

Gordon Brown - for allowing and encouraging the blowing up of the biggest credit/housing bubble ever and calling it economic growth all the way

George Osborne - for not taking the opportunity on coming to office to do what needs to be done - pop that sucka

C'mon, 7 hrs into this thread and no-one's mentioned Gove

A slap would not be sufficient.

George Osbourne, a face made for slapping.

Tony Blair for wasting the opportunity to roll back some repressive legislation and adding more to it.

Any of the recent Home Secretaries who have kow-towed to requests for extra surveillance and restrictions by our "security services".

Just one?

Frankly, anyone that wants to be a politician should be properly slapped (in a "Revolver", back-of-the-hand way). Repeatedly. Until they get a proper job.

Blair, for everyone elses' reasons, and for dropping us in the brown excrement.

And what willard said: MPs should have done something else before parliament.

they all need a slap, and we do for letting them get away with it

This thread would be easier if it were 'Which politician wouldn't you slap'. All of the tories, Clegg, Blair, Romney, Bush....I'd like to slap all of them very very hard with a baseball bat......repeatedly

In the true spirit of STW, I feel it incumbent on me to point out that the title should be '[b]Which[/b] Politician would you slap?'.

But, anyway, I think the only way I would feel satisfied is if I donned a pair of Kenny Everett style oversized hands and ran along in front of the two front benches at PMQs...

Standards are slipping. The default and most correct answer is this pasty faced ****

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As said before, the only reason I'd stop kicking this man in the balls would be to change my shoes when they wore out.

Line them all up for a Falcon Punch

I'm not biased.. now if someone would be so kind as to hand me that large wet fish..

where would you like me to start..?

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Again metaphorically:

1. Either Herman von Rumpey or Jose Manual Barroso for dis-services to the populations of Europe especially the young/low paid who are now forced to take 20-30% wage cuts or face LT unemployment

2. Those responsible for Circular 10/65 and its subsequent impact on UK education (awaits flaming!) - although a little disrespectful as they have mostly passed away. Its the policy and its impact, not the people themselves

3. Vince Cable - a pat on the back if he had the moral fibre to resign his position and attack current policies from either the back benches or from the labour party. Metaphoric slap in the face for doing this from a senior position within the coalition.

gove

George Osborne
Michael Gove
George Osborne again, just in case he missed the first one

Whilst at a friends birthday party this past weekend this topic of conversation came up after dinner......

Sounds like a really great party.

The Flying Ox +1000

Balls.

What a smug faced antagonistic sneering tw*t. Winds me up a million times more than George Osbourne.

Slap-- Louise Mensch-- i'd charge her for it though

Batter -- Thatcher-- gratis

alex222 : Would the party sound any better if i said we drank 27 bottles of veuve, 6 bottles chablis, 6 bottles petit verdot, 1 bottle of 1963 taylor fladgate vintage port (his age), worked through a decent amount of peruvian flake, smoked homegrown organic t'weed through his vaporisor (birthday present), played pool and foosball down in the bar/games room till 4am, watched withnail & I in the cinema room then went skinny dipping in the pond come sunrise....fall asleep for a while then up late for champagne breakfast followed by a drive up onto the moor with the beaters simca truck to shoot clays then a wee blast round the roads in his 1936 MG TA sports car before retiring to the drawing room come late sunday afternoon for a wee snooze before a late supper.

Of course none of the above actually happened but if it did it would be a rather good party indeed 😉

Separated at birth?

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Probably batter Gove using Osborne

Hunt because he is a ****

Blair- because he is a Hunt

Prefer the bottom one, what constituency does he represent ?

you wouldnt need to Batter gove-- just squeeze and his head would pop off zit like

Piers Morgan.

I know, but the guy just encompasses everything unlikable in a human and triggers some instant rage in me.

There are not enough hands in the world to give the slapping I would want to administer to the lot of them. But, in the spirit of the OP

1. Pob, just for that face
2. Bliar, for being... ...well, Bliar
3. Clegg, for completely intercoursing the Liberal Party for the next millenia.

Oh god, where to begin – particularly if we’re not limiting ourselves to British/current politicians? As people have said, it’d be easier to find a list of ones you don’t want to slap.

Fairly high on my list of loathing:

1: David Cameron
2: George Osbourne
3: Nadine Dorries
4: Keith Vaz
5: George Galloway

"5: George Galloway"

Yup

If I had to pick one, oh it would be Osbourne on so many levels.

[img] [/img]

No one, really?

In no particular order

Ed Milliband - Barefaced Liar elected by the union block vote. I'll post about him deliberately misleading parliament re carbon scrubbing technologies in a separate thread if anyone's interested.

Gordon Brown - For spending 11 years p155ing away our money like it was going out of fashion and for sulking at our expense since he lost the election and the leadership of the labour party, Oh and for being the worst Prime Minister this country has ever had.

Blair - just a ****

Pickles - Fat **** - i had the pleasure of telling him he was talking bollocks about student fees tripling

Gove - stitching up 640,000 kids by letting ofqual fiddle with grade boundaries.

Osbourne - Usless **** failing miserably to get the economy moving

Nick Clegg - Useless soundbite hunting monkey

Cameron - for not sacking Osbourne

Balls - smug and odious, brown sidekick so should crawl buck under stone and shutup as half of this massive national debt is his fault

Saint Vince of cable - proved to like the rest of them mouthing off to girle reporters about how he could bring the government down - ****

Why can't i say the Tw-t word lol

sorry STW I was cross 😮

Phew!

Gwello, I think we'd get on.

LenHankie, lets have a beer and put the world to rights lol

And what happened to the coffee forum that used to be in her when i posted in this place before. I suppose some politician abolished it as its not healthy enough!

Christ!.......I seem to have rattled the hornets nest and dragged their queen out whilst pissing all over their larvae if the vitriolic response from this thread is anything to go by - well done stw peeps, my faith in righteous anger and vengeance is now rekindled.

Viva le revolution...........but if you don't mind I'll first brew myself an espresso in true stw fashion.

In order of stw hatred up to this point - please form an orderly queue for your slap.

George Osbourne - 10 slaps
Tony Blair - 9 slaps
Michael Gove - 6 slaps
David Cameron - 5 slaps (c'mon....we can do better than 5?)
Eric Pickles - 5 slaps
Nick Clegg - 4 slaps
Jeremy Hunt - 4 slaps
Ed Milliband - 3 slaps
"Witch" Thatcher - 3 slaps
Ed balls - 2 slaps
George Galloway - 2 slaps
Gordon Brown - 2 slaps
Mitt Romney - 2 slaps
Vince Cable - 2 slaps
George Bush - 2 slaps
Louise Mensch - 1 slap
Keith Vaz - 1 slap
Nadine Dorries - 1 slap
Tony Abbot - 1 slap
Dick Cheney - 1 slap
Hermon Von Rumpey - 1 slap
Jose Manual Barroso - 1 slap
Piers Morgon - 1 slap followed by a **** proper doing over!.

I'm gonna throw in a wildcard entrant who has nothing to do with politics but i'd pay to watch him being ripped apart by his talk show feral guests.........................Jeremy Kyle

Ed F. Balls.

This thread should have been closed after The Flying Ox said all that needed to be said on the first page.

Anyone in the labour party

Ed Balls, with George Osborne..........

Sad you are in so many cases limiting yourselves to UK politicians - Romney aside, Caruso a dishonourable mention... there are 1000s more deserving of a slap, too.

A pick from the Spanish: my local mayor Daniel Perez. Slimy permatanned party hack that he is:

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His boss, Esperanza Aguirre. Right-wing, botoxtastic, fancies herself the Spanish Thatcher - but a devout Catholic version. Quite possibly a future candidate for president.

[img] [/img]

The Basque nationalists, tiptoeing over sectarian violence, the Catalan ones - think they're the dog's wotsits, then come begging for a bailout from the central government... In fact, it's quite hard to think of one I do like!

Slap has got to be blair. Milliband I would beat to death using his smug brothers severed head.

I thought that was a hot looking Felicity Kendal!

Back on track I wouldn't slap them, however some MP's that get my back up are
Harriet Harmen.
Nicola Sturgeon.
Nick Clegg

Harriet Harperson surely?? But I agree well deserving of a slap

I saw the pic of Odious Ed Balls in his Nazi uniform online yesterday, it summed him up for me .... Hypocrite

The other one who needs a slap is Yvette Cooper or Mrs Ed Balls as she is for marrying him in the first place

Cicero

Reading his boring twaddle [url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Oratore ]De Oratore[/url] took two years of my life that I'll never get back.Mind you I imagine it is a Big Hitter's bread and butter.

Philistines look here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicero

:

Anyway... Blair, Blair and Blair.

+1, for lying to draw us in an illegal war.

Osbourne, on the rebound, for being so ****less* and clueless at economics.

I express some uncertainty about the meaning of this word that is so often bandied about: "****less". I'm assuming it means: "not giving a f-e-c-k".

Hazel ****ing blears!!! Obnoxious woman!!! Represents one of the most deprived constituencies in the country, yet was one of the worst offenders of the expenses scandal. And you could see she regarded a lifestyle well well beyond the means of her constituents as some kind of divine entitlement!