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Wierd for me, from my point of view my mother has always attempted to belittle me and then demanded to be treated as some kind of matriarch and my father has followed the path of least resistance and backed her.
I have just tried to be civil, but last year it broke down when my parents visited me on the way back from a trekiing holiday. When finding us busy with work and newborn twins, they didn't receive the red carpet treatment they thought they deserved she blew up and we all fell out massivley and I was accused of abusing her since I was 6!
I have gone back again to being civil but don't go out of my way with either of them, they are both pretty selfish people and we live 250 miles appart so they probably see us every 3 to 6 months now
My Dad had serious health problems from shortly before I was born until his death when I was 20. Despite that he worked incredibly hard to look after us and make sure we'd be ok once he was gone - in retrospect I think he knew he'd die young and so did everything in his power to be the best father, husband and son in the time he had. He wasn't always easy to live with and he had quite a short fuse but he cared so much and tried so hard. He was the big boss at a manufacturing company and the factory all but shut down so the workers could come to his funeral and I'll never forget the outpouring of warmth for how he'd been as a boss and a colleague. I'm so glad I knew him for 20 years and it makes me so sad to read of those whose parents have behaved in such an almost opposite manner.
My mum struggled for years after his death but she's doing pretty well now. She'd take a bullet for either of her sons and I'd say we're very close despite living across the length of England. She's a little bit eccentric and challenging but she does always mean well!
I do wonder if my parents' behaviour was partly as a result of my Dad having almost died in the earlier years of their marriage, spending months and months seriously ill before diagnosis and then longer still in hospital teetering on the edge. That kind of experience when all your friends are living a more typical carefree 20something life has to have a profound effect on you.
pleasant.. and sexual... VERY sexual..
molgrips - Member"Basically good but my mother becomes harder work each year - obstreperous old bat who never listens!"
Sorry to make light of a serious topic, but HAH!
I thought that might amuse someone! I am actually the sensible easy going non argumentative one in my family.
Mum died when I was 16 and dad lived in Canada but is also now dead.
Flipping eck!
Parents married at 18/21 (dad is older) and still happy. All very straightforward. Same with wife's parents.
My parents we were "fine" until I came out before Christmas. While we speak on the phone quite happily, we have not seen each other since. Quite what they think the neighbours would do, I'm not sure! (Mind you, they do live in Yeadon so anything is possible I guess...)
I think they are slowly coming around, they are even talking of visiting this weekend (right before I need to pack to go to Morzine grr...).
Sister-in-law is at a whole other level - she went absolutely mental and I think she's worried about what I might do to the kids or something - it's bonkers!!
Rachel
I learnt so much from my father. Mainly all the things not to do as a parent.
Seen him once in 20 years (12 years ago).
You never know what is around the corner, but I can say with some degree of certainty that my relationship with my kids will end up differently.
It was good. Both passed away when I was in early teens. Miss them.
Confusing. Stable childhood in what ostensibly was a 'good' family. Wasn't exactly close to my parents in a confiding, pally sort of way, my dad was pretty strict and i alwasy felt like i was disappointing him. I did go out of my way to disappoint him a few times just to be sure 😆 They encouraged me to what i wanted but i dunno it was all a bit lacklustre. I'll gloss over last year, suffice to say my dad died and he wasn;t the father i thought he was and I'm still coming to terms with all that. My mum has been amazing and like a flower she has flourished and shown herself to be a strong, independent, funny and truly awesome person - we have a great time now and for that I am thankful. Sorry, i'm in tears now so i'll stop because the rest of the office are looking at me weird 😕
Strange - teenage years I was a horrible c--t, stressed things to the limit of breaking.
Moved out quickly - relationship improved a lot, but I was on a naughty pathway in life that meant my priorities were different and my family didn't need to be involved.
Made the decision to leave the country and start afresh - relationship improved no end. No we get on really well, even when back, living in their flat because it was the only economical way to return.
Brother - 9 years older - never really saw him much, never got on that well, couldn't really care less. Now though, when we meet up once every few months it's ok. Both are grown up. He is very succesful though and I still feel like the well aimed w__k.
Sister - really close when I was younger, took care of me and tried to keep me on the straight and narrow. Now though - has her own family and is only focuses on them, we ( the rest of the family) are a handy nuisance.
Strange how it changes.