What do fictional characters smell like?

I'm not sure if this is wise, but what prompted this train of thought?

Bellatrix Lestrange – Weed

Pigpen - piss

Darth Vader - musty and talcum powder.

Jason Bourne - nothing. He leaves no trace.

All the Mr Men - jelly babies.

Jack Reacher - NO!

This is not something I find myself wondering about real people let alone the imaginary ones.

This is not something I find myself wondering about real people let alone the imaginary ones.

Now to be fair, a few people have walked past me in teal life and made me think "what the **** was that smell?!"

Marwood (and I) - essence of Petunia.

James Bond: Stale alcohol, sweat and coitus, but in a bad way.

Martin Penwald aka Rubber Duck - diesel & BO

The BFG - Snozcumbers

Ford Perfect - like a towel you used a few times, then left on the towel rail to go musty while you went on Holliday.

Andy Stone (Detectorist) - earth, with a tinge of B.O. if you get too close
Becky Stone - lightly dusted Fairy washing powder and perfection

Almost everyone in LotR: pipe smoke.
Everyone in every John le Carre book: cigarette smoke.
Hellboy: Brimstone.

Withnail & I cigarettes alcohol deep heat and perfume.

Danger Mouse - Damp straw and explosives.

Stig of the Dump: 🤢

Han Solo - Damp Wookie with a hint of cheap 70s cologne

a few people have walked past me in teal life and made me think “what the duck was that smell?!”

a few people have walked past me in teal life and made me think “what the duck was that smell?!”

And I missed the edit window.....

Jim Royle - Binners

Wayne and Waynetta Slob - fagsmoke and mouldy pizza with a hint of tuna

Sheldon Cooper - Hand Sanitizer

Raj - Lynx Africa
Howard - CK One

Jesus Christ- Sweat and sawdust

Rick Deckard - Stainless steel,jet fuel and despair.

This is not something I find myself wondering about real people let alone the imaginary ones.

I'd generally agree, but with Jackson Lamb, imagining the stench of BO and shitty food isn't really an option.

Bergerac: barley wine, fig rolls and damp.

Grand Moff Tarkin - Overboiled veg and plasticine.

Nurse Gladys Emmanuel - surgical spirit

I always imagine Gandalf... Did not smell clean.

Winnie the Poah - The mauled teddy your child has sucked the nose/arm/leg of for the past 5 years and can never prise away from them to wash.

Rebus - Beer, fags & whisky

Raj – Lynx Africa
Howard – CK One

Some of you are way too good at this game, I could picture/smell it immediately!

Prince William - Lube.

I came on to say Jackson Lamb and see I was beaten to it. But I'll add farts - best line of the recent series 'Sorry, that one lingered'

Jason Bourne – nothing. He leaves no trace.

This made me chuckle!

I'm gonna say Tin Tin smells of lemon

I’m gonna say Tin Tin smells of lemon

Whereas Captain Haddock smells of filterless Galoises and somebody else's wife

This is not something I find myself wondering about real people let alone the imaginary ones.

Unless I’m standing behind them in a queue. Certainly not fictional characters, never crossed my mind.

Bruce Springsteen- freshly cut pine and old leather... me knees just went.

Springsteen also has a faint whiff of engine oil if you sniff carefully. But not in a bad way, just a manly hint.

Just a faint misting of WD40 on top of his tea?

Compo - Attics.

Is Bruce Springsteen fictional?

Kermit The Frog - pork

Sharpe - black powder, sweat and someone else's blood

Moss Piggy - Frog

Gonzo (the Great) - Chickens

Wallace - Cheap slippers, cheese, old cars

Gromit - Wallace

Inigo Montoya - Spanish wine and chorizo

Terminator - GT85

Marty McFly - coal soap

Yoda - blueberries

If this isn't thread of the week, there's no justice in the world.

Jack Ryan - Lynx roll-on deodorant and overpowering sweat.
Wednesday Addams - Blood and patchouli.
Lukę Skywalker - Spectacularly strong BO.

Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore - napalm (but only in the morning)

Any Stormtrooper - Tupperware.

Non fictional. Fred Astaire- Ginger.

Bellatrix Lestrange – Wee

She'd smell of something entirely different if I got hold of her.

Colonel Sanders - a faint whiff of seven secret spices and an escaped cock.

Buffy - Teen Spirit and grave dust

Bellatrix Lestrange – Wee

She’d smell of something entirely different if I got hold of her.

Fear?

Worf - an earthy, peaty aroma with a touch of lilac.

This is the main reason I was unsure at first of Gary Oldman as Jackson Lamb. Because in the books his breath absolutely stinks, he's got some BO, and you can smell numerous Chinese takeaways in his hair and his coat.

To his credit, Oldman really does bring it to life though!

Ken Barlow - Biscuits.

Jesus - wood dust and frankincense

Alan Partridge - Lynx Java

Chewbacca - wet dog

Lukę Skywalker – Spectacularly strong BO.

Nah, he smells very clean, probably of coal-tar soap. Definitely no BO and most definitely no body spray or deodorant.

Leia, probably gun oil and dusty committee rooms.

Both of them smell like garbage (note, NOT rubbish, garbage!) after they almost got compacted because the Star Wars universe doesn't seem to have shower facilities. Luke blow dries his hair though.

Barbarella, smells of spangles and lubricant.

/begin fast show edition

13th Duke of Wybourne - Old Spice

Ted - carbolic soap
Ralph - mud and tweed

Swiss Tony - bad hair gel, Brut and bad breath

Lois Balfour (NICE!) - cigars, whisky and mould

/end fast show edition

I reckon Father Ted smells of tea.

Co-pilot's seat on the Millennium Falcon - Anti-bac wipes and Magic Tree™ air freshener.

Best thread in ages!

Jack Reacher - Motel soap with a hint of plot armour and death.

Say one thing for Logen Ninefingers , he smells of desperation, sweat and blood.

Roland of Gilead - gun smoke, leather and sweat

Hannibal Lecter - Fava beans, chianti, chopped liver and expensive cologne with a subtle hint of shit and decay

Cougar
Full Member

Bellatrix Lestrange – Wee

She’d smell of something entirely different if I got hold of her.

Linden trees?

Lois Balfour (NICE!)

I never knew that was his name.

Linden trees?

Is there a gag here I'm missing?

Linden trees?

Is there a gag here I’m missing?

Oh yes.

Is there a gag here I’m missing?

🤣🤣🤣

Bellatrix Lestrange – Wee

She’d smell of something entirely different if I got hold of her.

Ennui?

Father Ted smells like the underwear section of old catalogues.

Basil Fawlty smells of Brylcream and gin.

Barbara Good smells of roses and goat shit.

Barbara Good smells of roses and goat shit.

She's on the One Show tonight, jeez she's well preserved.....

She’s on the One Show tonight, jeez she’s well preserved…..

That'll be all the shit.

All Star Trek captains of the enterprise…Old Spice

The Dude smells of weed, White Russians and floor wax.

The entire cast of the Star Wars prequels and sequels smell of shame and regret.