[Closed] Tinder, my thoughts...

There will always be a sale on.

Cougar - Moderator
There will always be a sale on.

Very much a DFS scenario.

Might well hold out for Black Friday.

I missed a trick on that one! 🙂

A mate swears by the compliment smile or eyes (check if all pics are frowning with sunnies on) followed by want to get a drink.
Funny conversation last week, so your not from here, no just over this week (hometown is in profile) cool what you doing when you get back?
Leaving the country,
Ok
Silence...

I was just in a bored mood on the tram really

I'm just very pleased that the internet wasn't around when I was in my teens and twenties, I do think I would have got myself into all kinds of trouble..

Surely your profile describes you as "curvy" Wiggles? That's Tinder speak for "familiar with a pie or two".

[img] [/img]

This is my tactic and it usually works. My favourite was an opening message that said "Do you have kids and how tall are you?" I replied politely that yes, I have a daughter and that I am 5ft 10. The silence was deafening.

I once got an unsolicited message on a dating site which was basically "I have 5 mixed-race kids and don't judge me!". I honestly don't know what sort of response she might have been looking for...

Yeah, Tinder - so a while ago a friend (he's on here!) told me I'd "kill it" on Tinder. Never occurred to me to try it (thought it was just for hook-ups with slaaags), so signed up. Got 1 date. 1 date. Ok, had about 4 or 5 matches (one "Sorry I'm moving to New Zealand tomorrow!" Yeah cheers. Some non-repliers, but mostly, blank, nothing, no matches. It's pretty grim for the old self-esteem.
Won't be using it again!

[i]Got 1 date. 1 date....Won't be using it again! [/i]

I thought we'd had a lovely evening together as well 🙁

hmm.. I thought she was quite "boyish" 😆

I love Tinder etc. It’s great that I can go to London, Berlin, or indeed Peterborough and arrange a “date”.

There does seem to be some conflict as to how the sexes see the app though. Generally speaking: men see it as a hookup app, whereas women see it more as a dating app.

In my experience, about 50% of the girls on it fall into this category and start firing off questions straight away about your job etc as they’re looking to settle down into the mortgage/marriage/kids thing. These get binned obvs...
Then you’ve got about 40% who are usually hot but even when you match with them, it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. My theory is that these are just validation seekers. Maybe even have a boyfriend, but just like the attention/ego boost.
The remaining 10% is the gold. The chilled out girls who are happy to meet up and have a good time without it feeling like a job interview. It’s a numbers game.

Would love to hear a female perspective on it. Anyone?

Things that make me swipe left:

A man in the main photo.
Skydiving/tough mudder/travelling photo - No one cares.
No body pic
Group photo - unlikely to be the hot one, cba to find out.
Snapchat filters. Well, they’re all at it now. So most of them.
That stupid lopsided pose they’re all suddenly doing.

Generally speaking: men see it as a hookup app, whereas women see it more as a dating app.

Isn't that true of life in general?

Would love to hear a female perspective on it

Would love to hear a female perspective on it

This sounds like one to me! 😕

Generally speaking: men see it as a hookup app, whereas women see it more as a dating app.

Search mumsnet?

Yep. That'll put you off dating women for life.

The foul-mouthed harridans. 😉

but how did you know they liked you before you'd had the option of liking them back

you pay...

I tried a month and I think it is worth it for the amusement if nothing else. On my train trip up to the lake district I collected lots of likes as the train passed through towns.

But it also means you can look through your likes and be selective and choose the most likely match, rather than swipe everybody you vaguely like just in case.

Re-reading my post up there, I sound like a bit of a tit. In mitigation - it’s not that one is only interested in sex and has no intention of developing a potential relationship. But what’s wrong with Just meeting up with a new person, having a great night and letting things lead where they may?

But what’s wrong with Just meeting up with a new person, having a great night and letting things lead where they may?

It does seem odd (and it's the thing that's kept me off tinder for now) that people expect to get more than a hookup from something that's so biased towards looks. I think it says a lot about society that women looking for a relationship can't see the problem with basing this on looks.

I'm a fussy git though, just separated and not in a huge rush to get into anything. And I can see that you might find the love of your life this way, and looks play a part, just the chances aren't much higher than going out and trying to give out/collect phone numbers.

[quote=jambourgie ]Re-reading my post up there, I sound like a bit of a tit. In mitigation - it’s not that one is only interested in sex and has no intention of developing a potential relationship. But what’s wrong with Just meeting up with a new person, having a great night and letting things lead where they may?

I'm not sure you do - I'd kind of assumed what you've just clarified, that you aren't in it just for a one off meetup. Even if you are after something serious, surely it's better just to meet and see if you can have fun together (and no, I don't mean that sort of fun) rather than do the full job interview (TBH I'd be put off by the attitude behind such an approach as much anything).

[quote=philjunior ]just the chances aren't much higher than going out and trying to give out/collect phone numbers.

The big advantage surely being that you're contacting other people who are interested in having a relationship (of some sort).

It does seem odd (and it's the thing that's kept me off tinder for now) that people expect to get more than a hookup from something that's so biased towards looks.

How is that any different to regular dating? You wouldn't go and chat up a lass in a pub because she looked like the back end of a bus. People have been chatting up people they fancied for many, many years before Tinder existed.

Exactly - why all dating apps/sites have photos, multiple photos. And profiles without photos don't get very far.

Anybody else get thinly veiled solicitation from ladies of negotiable virtue? I would get a picture of an unfeasibly gorgeous girl, and a message like “one hour 100 roses, evening 300 roses”. It took me a while to figure out roses were code for £! I guess the site looks for commercial negotiations and it’s a way around it?

Maybe they just really like roses!

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Sorted

Rose/£ is a pretty bloody good exchange rate. I bought MrsTHtobe some, a dozen was getting on for £50!

I'm not sure you do - I'd kind of assumed what you've just clarified, that you aren't in it just for a one off meetup.

But if you are up for a hook up - probably Tom B is your man. He puts out regularly on first dates.

Women on dating apps rate about 80 percent of men below average.

Make of that what you will.

If a small number of men are a lot 'better' than the majority, this would be perfectly reasonable.

Further, the 'best' specimens probably already have girlfriends, thus are less likely to be found on dating sites.

It really is ALL about the photos. You can write any old shite in your bio if your photos are good. Got a mate who’s a pro photographer? Know anyone with a cute dog? Borrow them both.

🙂

Oh, and a bit of relevant advice from my sister: don’t post a picture of you in your cycling gear. It’s not a strong look. Loads of men do this apparently 😆

If a small number of men are a lot 'better' than the majority, this would be perfectly reasonable.

I believe attractiveness follows a normal distribution.

I believe attractiveness follows a normal distribution.

But maybe those posting on Tinder doesn't!!

[quote=jambourgie ]Oh, and a bit of relevant advice from my sister: don’t post a picture of you in your cycling gear. It’s not a strong look. Loads of men do this apparently

Having been contemplating the whole online dating thing, I had wondered about a pic riding a unicyle, I'm not sure if the same theory follows (clearly it's not something loads of men do). The reaction from women when I'm riding is almost universally positive, but that clearly doesn't mean they'd want to date me!

Perhaps, but then one would assume that works both ways. Unless lots of ugly women are dating pretty men.

Having been contemplating the whole online dating thing, I had wondered about a pic riding a unicyle, I'm not sure if the same theory follows (clearly it's not something loads of men do). The reaction from women when I'm riding is almost universally positive, but that clearly doesn't mean they'd want to date me!

Go for it!

I think she means the whole 'cycling gaz' commuter look. Women probably interpret that as 'can't afford a car'...

Well I can't even afford a second wheel 😉

Arrgh, g'dammit. C'mon, c'mon. Another 43mins 52 seconds before I can start swiping right again.

Found a website last night called photofeeler you upload a picture specify if it is dating and select an age range of women to show it to and they rate you on a scale of a few things but can also leave suggestions.... Seems quite interesting.

Unsurprisingly I am pretty low on the attractiveness rating but some useful suggestions, you select from a preset list so basically smile more and get a haircut is the jist of it...

aracer - Member
philjunior » just the chances aren't much higher than going out and trying to give out/collect phone numbers.
The big advantage surely being that you're contacting other people who are interested in having a relationship (of some sort).

I suppose there is that. Maybe I just like the hard to get lady.

wiggles - Member
Found a website last night called photofeeler you upload a picture specify if it is dating and select an age range of women to show it to and they rate you on a scale of a few things but can also leave suggestions.... Seems quite interesting.

I've got to give that a go! 😀

That sounds terrifying.

Maybe I just like the hard to get lady.

I suspect most folk on Tinder were finding it hard to get lady.

The idea of the preset suggestions is they can say things like "prefer a different haircut" or "prefer if you smiled more" rather than just "your a miserable **** with shit hair"

Just signed up to photofeeler.

Will report back once I upload pics tonight/tomorrow. 🙂

Seems like a bit of a laugh, got bored talking to someone from a few days ago... Answers questions and seems nice but just doesn't make any effort to keep the conversation going