[Closed] Thinking of leaving girlfriend or rather will be leaving

Jamie - Freeloader!

Given the OP's luck, he'll chuck her, and she'll win the lottery the next day.
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Lmao, true, 😆

Would money make her house clean ? Probably get dirtier with more animals....

Id still walk.

Would money make her house clean ? Probably get dirtier with more animals....

Yeah, but at least he would have a wing of the house to himself.

...I should add I wasn't being strictly serious.

We all know the OP should run from the....

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From one old enough to be your parent, don't mess about, get out. I'm quietly confident that any parent would rather make temporary space while you get your new life started than see you stuck in that hole.

I didn't get past the shit on the floor.

WTF are you still doing there? She sounds sub-human.

I have four snakes and a bearded Dragon

Quick, clean cut. And good luck, sounds very hard.

Are you still there ?
Why wait for the New Year?

Her bills and debts are her issues - not yours

She will carry on and sponge off someone else. But that , of course, won't stop her playing the guilt card.

No kids?

Just get the hell out.

You are in charge of your life, stop waiting around for stuff to happen, it won't unless you get on with it.
By not leaving, you are accepting your life, and are entirely to blame for your misery.

Where do you live? I'm pretty sure we can mackle together a posse of people to help you pack.

Agree with Scienceofficer .If she is that much of a dirty slob go now .I have been in relationships that I should have ended sooner .The relief you feel once you go, as in go and take all your belongings is great .

Just get out.

I quickly realised not to rely on Mates, not because they don't care but, like you said, most are busy with families etc.

Join a Gym or simular where you can go and not feel out of place. It should be all about you now, no one else.

I'm on my own 90% of the time, seeing my Mate 2 - 3 times a week and I honestly don't mind one bit. I don't think I could cope without the few hours a week I spend at his with him and his missus and daughter though as being on your own 100 % of the time would be awful.

Fill you head with dreams of the future and what you can do without anyone nagging.

Good luck with whatever decision you take and keep in touch with us all on here. If I remember you are in Darwen, I'm only in Bolton so there's loads of us on here nearby who could meet up for a ride out or something.

Live near Blackburn. Hate the place its full of yonners!
My plan is to stop at my Mum's while on nightshifts and slowly move stuff out.

She seems to think that her texting this bloke who she had a sexual relationship with before getting with me and sent not nude but pictures of her in nighty and low cut tops is just banter. Then when i confronted her about it she claims its just banter between friends. Now I'm sorry but i don't send to my friends male or work colleagues (female) She came home and threatened to smash her phone up and that it meant nothing blah blah.

But deep down i haven't and wont forgive her. Its an instant walk out if it was just a random bloke, but someone who she has a past with is even worse in my book.

My trouble is when i get in a relationship, and im probably not the only one who has done it. But i make excuses not to go out with my mates, as im always thinking, ive gotta get back to clean up etc or cook tea for them to getting in. He is forever asking me to come Gisburn forest with him. And really i should be going.

My plan as i have said to my Mum is to move back, get myself a new motorbike, maybe go abroad on it. Visit some random trail centres on my mountain bike. And then save up and get myself a rented house/flat and concentrate on work etc.

I like photography, especially aviation and visiting Manchester Airport but i find myself having to make excuses to my missus to go there. As apperantly its a waste of Money in fuel.

You are late 20's and at least she's late 40's?

You've scratched that itch dude. Time to be with someone you can have a future/kids etc and holidays etc with.

WILL SOMEONE THINK OF THE ANIMALS PLEASE......

Hora- She's early thirties I'm 29 the week after Christmas.

project- The Animals are fine, infact the animals get priority over me, food wise etc.

[quote=bwfc4eva868 said]Hora- She's early thirties I'm 29 the week after Christmas.

Hora's itch remains unscratched then 😉

She sounds like a selfish rip-dinger, GET OUT NOW, don't forget to take the rabbit to a place of safety???? Find someone else (no rush) who is more understanding of your needs too. You need to be able to do your own thing, bikes planes whatever it is you like doing, that works both ways. No good being sat in the menagerie at 50 thinking "what happened there, I wished I'd have done.........."? Too late.

With an 18yr old daughter? Oh dear. Do you guys look like Wayne and waynetta?

So I've been single before but seems like I have no mates left,

All my old school and uni mates are hooked up now, so I rarely see them. But its easy enough to make new ones - in my case, I just spent productive time in local real ale pubs.

Now most my regular mates are quite a bit older, with no young kids to worry about, and either divorced or have Mrs that are quite happy for them to be out of the house down the pub. Also, you get better advice as they've seen it and got the T-shirt.

Good luck to you.

Listen to the liberated, bunny boiled men of this fine forum.

I worry for anyone who reads the OP, thinks "shit that's me" and can't get out.

EVACUATE

hora- Strangley no. She's good looking, and looks alot younger than her age. But bloody acts like her daughter. Strops if she doesnt get her own way.

Got pregnant when she was 15. The father of said daughter is a right useless mong.

Not being big headed but i used to live in a nice area with my Mum and her partner, my ex used to live in a nice area of Darwen and then me and my ex moved into a nice two bedroomed apartment with en suite bathrooms. But i split with my ex because i said at the time i didn't want kids so she spat her dummy out and slept with another bloke while i was at work.

I then moved back in with my Mum and was just friends with my current missus and went round for a brew now and again, and obviously got it on. And My ex decided to remove what was left of my belongings and dump them here. And i have kinda been here since so two years now.

Now i feel like a scruff, as most of my money is spent on funding the zoo and don't have any money left to go out and buy clothes like i used to.

Sounds like a job for the...........
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.........A TEAM.

Oh god i wouldn't be seen dead on that program. Can't stand him nor the people on it. Total waste of oxygen. But the photo definitley sums up the situation i find myself in. I'm living amongst Jeremy Kyle type people!

I suspect this is rather like people who make suicide threats don't usually want to commit suicide . If you really wanted to leave her then you would but you won't or can't . Possibly you are a person who doesn't like to disappoint people and you are in a no win situation whereby you want to please your family who think you should get out but you also feel that you don't want to upset your partner . Coming on to this forum is also a strange way to conduct yourself in a personal matter such as this .

Being in healthcare i have to have some care and compassion. And the majority of the time i put other people way before myself hence why i feel a bit guilty about leaving my partner.
And im good at listening to people at work, friends problems etc. But when it comes to my own, i find easier to talk to it with complete strangers on the internet rather than real face to face people.

I do talk to my Mum and her Partner about it, and they give they're oppinions but they say its up to you.

Well you say last time you threatened to leave she was really upset then sit down with her and talk about the situation with her and try and reach some kind of agreement on the terms and conditions that need to change if she wants you to stay . If you are threatening to leave her then you need to be sure that you are able to carry that through if she won't change .

OP you are defending her. Give up and stay. You only have one life. Why not give it to the cats.

You only live once lad, get out and stay out. Texting other men is not acceptable.

Ramsey Neil - Member

Well you say last time you threatened to leave she was really upset then sit down with her and talk about the situation with her and try and reach some kind of agreement on the terms and conditions that need to change if she wants you to stay . If you are threatening to leave her then you need to be sure that you are able to carry that through if she won't change .

Bloxolls !

Hit the road jack !

Remember cat shitt can kill

Texting another man. How do you know she ain't playing you? No one just texts ...

Short term it will bad for all concerned. Long term it sounds like it will be for the best.

Personally I'd be honest and face up to it though, don't just disappear.

Being in healthcare i have to have some care and compassion

When you chat she tries for a bit then reverts back to being what she is in her heart. You cannot live with what she is like in her heart
Fear of hurting her means you stay.
It wont last IMHO the only question is how long ti takes you to realise that

I've got a bit of time off in the week.
Let me know if you need a hand shifting stuff.

I pay for her car and council tax. I have threatened to leave in the past due to the whole disgusting living conditions and she sped home from work and tears and threats of my life ain't worth living if you go etc. And I gave in and 12 months later the animal collection is bigger and she has denied the texting another bloke, threatening to smash her phone up etc.

Also I'm a bit apprehensive about going back to my mum's at 29 year old and I've not been single since 2008.
Current relationship began two weeks after my previous relationship ended.

This might sound a bit harsh, but it sounds to me like part of you would rather be in a relationship where someone treats you like shit, than be on your own. Seems fairly common.

What is realistically likely to happen if you stay? My guess is that she will promise to change and then 6 months down the road the animal collection will have grown and you are fishing cat shit out of your cereal. You will then find pictures of some bloke with his nob out on her phone and find out she's been cheating.

Be honest with yourself, how bad does it have to get before you don't have a choice, and have to leave?

dude, have you packed yet?

You say you 'pay for her car'. Is the finance in her or your name? Don't worry about the V5 - that's just who is responsible - who actually owns the car? Be careful about just stopping payments if the loan is in your name.

But, whatever you do, get out. Pronto.

Rachel

Don't worry about your lizard and snakes, at the worst you/she can give them to a pet shop that can resell them.

You need to go mate, move to your mother's and don't go back.

I pay for her car and council tax

who is paying the rent.mortgage, leccy, gas, water, tv licence, etc?

Now i feel like a scruff, as most of my money is spent on funding the zoo and don't have any money left to go out and buy clothes like i used to.

but you have around £750 in disposable a month?

My colleague was in a pretty similar situation .
House full of pointless pets and pretty but mental G/F . Rottweiler plus many other silly things like stick insects in a 2 bed council house .
He paid almost everything whilst she spend it all on tat and pet food.
Unfortunatly for him the bills were all in his name so he got royaly shafted on the outstanding for months afterwards.
Dog ate his shoes, his Oakleys , poor thing lived in a cage in the kitchen most of time.

He is back with his mum , and is 36. Taken 2 years to get into a position to move out into his own place.

She has followed him to the town where he lives now for some reason too.

Get gone , never a good time but maybe not xmas day.

Get out mate. You've tried to fix things, she never played ball. Stick around and you're only making things worse. You sound like a carrying chap, who's staying because he cares - you're making it worse. You should feel guilty for staying and kidding her and yourself, not leaving. Use your next shift to phase yourself to your mums house. I don't know when your next "day" is with her, but it needs to be a sit down and chat as in "I'm gone". Not dinner, not a movie, not even a cup of tea. Get out the rut. If that means telling her on the doorstep, so be it. If you think you'll buckle and go back a call or text. Not ideal and many would say cowardly, but not as cowardly as staying! You're the priority here mate, do what MUST be done.

Good luck, and post some pics of your solo motor bike trip..... It has to happen, that's your medicine; not cat shit!

Get out.
Ditch your mobile number & email.
Life is too short mate.

Prove it to yourself.

If it was you or me I'd rather the person left than live a sham/lie staying and they didn't want to be there. Agree? Painful but you are deceiving her.

yup, what Hora said.
deceiving her AND yourself!, Your happiness awaits elsewhere.

This might sound a bit harsh, but it sounds to me like part of you would rather be in a relationship where someone treats you like shit, than be on your own. Seems fairly common.

Is that what you wanted to hear?