[Closed] Things you never, ever, want to experience first hand.

A Christening
"Filmed in front of a live audience"
A league football match
the MOBO awards

The people who wake up early from anesthetic
Those red dots you see in spy films
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/41388309/mystery-as-man-found-dead-next-to-pet-snake

Being in the kitchen of anywhere that's making my food...

In the Night Garden - LIVE!
(It camps on Old Deer Park in Richmond every year).

In the Night Garden - LIVE!

with sufficient amounts of intoxicants though....

a football match.

seeing someone else deficate

A rugby match

a good mate, who speaks wise words, says one of his life rules is 'never be in the same room as another man's erection'.... Sounds a pretty good rule to me 🙂

with sufficient amounts of intoxicants though....

Coldplay

Anything relating to rats.

Ugh.

In front of a Goverment Select Committee..

Freak Yachting Accident
Another mans erect penis

golf.

I used to work with a gay bloke who would spend his weekends at S&M orgies in Amsterdam. We used to drive in to work together on a Monday morning. Through many of his enthusiastic, probably-still-off-his-head-on-GHB, Too-Much-Informtion moments about his weekend's activities, I formulated a list of things I never, ever, ever wanted to witness

Tromboning... that kind of thing 😯

Drowning or being burnt alive

A maths lesson from Diane Abbot.

This thread reads like a bucket list.

Shark attack
Lion attack
anything with sharp teeth/claws attack

Having someone fall off a mountain and smash their skull in front of you wouldn't be high on my bucket list (though it apparently was on theirs).

X Factor Live auditions! 👿

( I think any form of death or serious injury is a given, Plumber!)

(OMG....just googled tromboning!)

Being buried alive.

A Nigerian customer once insisted on showing me photos of Christians celebrating the slaughter of a couple of hundred Muslims in the city of Jos. They blocked the road on a Friday after mosque and trapped them in their cars, which they then set on fire. I won't tell you what they did but after two pics I understood what I was seeing and felt a bit sick.

Another rugby game
Another hip replacement operation
Any TV program with "Celebrity" in the title
Another shark heading my direction
Holyhead
Looking down to see the ground heading toward you REALLY fast and looking up to see an unopened parachute
Any of my limbs not attached to my body
Any more of the films my mum gives me saying "I think you'll enjoy this" (seriously mum, how bad a parent do you think you were?)

Tory Party Conference

Death.

Just signed up for the ticket update 😆

Have a needle inserted into my eye.

Unfortunately I have already experienced this once 🙁

Vasectomy reversal.

an endoscopy
an otherendoscopy

though if it did happened I'd like a say in the running order

…and on a more serious note. Somebody committed suicide in a rather spectacular style right in front of me last year and came within about 6 feet of landing on my car bonnet at motorway speeds.

I’d rather not see that again.

Louise

childbirth , i just haven't got the hips for it .

Brexit.

Retrieving a semi-decomposed rat from beneath the floor.. sadly I experienced this first hand and the smell will stay with me forever. Truly horrific stench is a dead rat.

I don't want to do that again, either. However, faced with a choice between that and the OP's ticket to Fast and Furious live ....

A(nother) flexible cystoscopy. If you don't know, it involves a v small camera, a bent coat hanger and a penis

If you don't know, it involves a v small camera, a bent coat hanger and a penis

I'd say that depends on whose it is.

I can think if a few people that would benefit from a bent not of wire up the "unblinking eye".

Your parents having sex.

mangoworms in the genitals (for the love of god/deity of choice/dawkins, do not google mangoworms unless you are one of those sickos that likes watching massive pustules being lanced etc..)

Scorched coffee.

so far on this thread i'm 6 from a possible 12. 😯

Being torpedoed. At night. In the North Atlantic / Arctic. Like my grandad was. Twice.
A filming of "Justin's House"

Mr Woppit's audience with the Pope

hot_fiat - Member

A filming of "Justin's House"

I thought the mango worm videos were bad, but this 😐

johndoh - Member
Have a needle inserted into my eye.

Unfortunately I have already experienced this once

I had the option of experiencing this particular horror but then they offered me a general anesthetic which I gladly accepted.

Up until Friday mine would have been "attend a rave". Understand this is not a good rave like from the early 90's but one of the horrible ones where an 'MC' shouts gibberish down a microphone over some questionable 'music'

Then I got told we were going into a bar in South Shields, I only realised too late. It was horrible. I had to have many drinks to drown it out. Saturday was not a good day.

Nigel [s]!!!![/s] Farage

[img] :large[/img]

Is the Sunday sport still a thing?

I had the option of experiencing this particular horror but then they offered me a general anesthetic which I gladly accepted.

I've had the needle in the eye job twice. Local anaesthetic each time.

You big jessies...

I fact I prefer it to the having a high powered laser so bright you shut the eye [i]not[/i] being treated, fired at my retina, 2-600 times... think I'm into double figures for having that, or not far off. I'm sure it's just my mind playing tricks, but I'm convinced I can smell the burning

1 - A rugby union match.
2 - Wasting away to cancer.
3 - being chased down and hacked up by a machete wielding gang of child soldiers, after they have given me a good bumming.
4 - Downton Abby.

I've met Down Town Abby. She's quite the goer.

The Three Peaks
Talking to someone who has obviously had cosmetic surgery
Rock climbing
Trump/Farage/Boris/May/Gove/Hunt/etc/etc
Flat landscape (I can cope with driving through it - just)

Under-cooked chips.

Foe me any professional scenario that requires role-play.

A(nother) flexible cystoscopy. If you don't know, it involves a v small camera, a bent coat hanger and a penis

Where do they insert the penis?

The people who wake up early from anesthetic

I've had a local anaesthetic wear off towards the end of the procedure. I'm from a family thats quite prone to bleeding during operations and the surgeon was just trying to tidy up by cauterise the incisions.

"there we go, nearly done... I'll just.. ZZZZZ, there"

"yeah, I could sort of feel that"

" actually just another ZZZZZ"

" yeah, thats pretty sore"

"all done"

ZZZZZZZ

"Ow"

ZZZZZZZ

"Ow"

ZZZZZZZ

"Ow"

ZZZZZZZ

"Ow"

"we're finished....... I'lll just.... ZZZZZZ........ hmmmmmm....... ZZZZZZ"

"Look just leave it I'd rather bleed"

My sort of third parent (I was neglected by two working parents) actually insisted on having no sedative when she had a hip replacement. She had quite an enquiring mind and felt that having you're leg pretty much removed and put back on again was far too interesting an experience to not be present for. The surgeons found the whole experience pretty unnerving though.

Torture
Prison
Lumber Puncture (again)
War
Ebola
Dieing in pain
Meeting anybody from a reality series
Being stuck in the wilderness with Bear Grylls

Being stuck in a lift with Nigel Farage, Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan.

Being sodomised by hedgehog wedged on a broom handle.

another tory primeminister, or government.

A bill for using this forum,

Give me popping candy under my foreskin, down my japseye and up my arse.. but I couldn't cope with experiencing Robbie Williams live. Or on the telly. Or radio, or even thinking about him. argh!

Morrissey. Oh, and Coldplay

Edukator's bucket list

Retrieving a semi-decomposed rat from beneath the floor.. sadly I experienced this first hand and the smell will stay with me forever. Truly horrific stench is a dead rat.

And I'll add.
Trying to have a swim while half the pool is being used for "Aquafit"

Retrieving a semi-decomposed rat from beneath the floor.. sadly I experienced this first hand and the smell will stay with me forever. Truly horrific stench is a dead rat.

This is winning at the moment, having done it, please never again. 'Byuuurrk'

Farage in a lift? Easy, I'd just get on about sea fishing.
Prison? Doddle unless other inmates found out about my (now former) job.
Needle in the eye? doddle, had a cataract done 6 years ago.
Rather have any of those than go to a footy match.

Another local anaesthetic eye operation. 3 was enough... hearing them talk about peeling, cutting and all while the eye is clipped open and I could see hazy bright lights.

Gave me a general for the valve implant and I'm due another one in a couple of months...aaah bliss

Oh and a meeting at BBC TV centre.

I had the cycstoacopy . I don’t want it again. Oooh that bit where it passes the sphincter 🙁

A manual and drops skills class from Iainc.

Being in the same room as an erect Man U striker.

That photo of Hora pouting (again)

Ton pulling a grown man's underpants to bits (again)

Chewkw in person

A gravel bike under the Christmas tree.

A soccer game.
John McDonnell.
Burning alive.

All equally horrific.

Motorsport, golf & NFL.

[quote=wrecker ]A soccer game.
John McDonnell.
Burning alive.
All equally horrific.

All 3 combined could be entertaining though.

Actually the same could be said for Caher's suggestions...

A room full of nekkid ladies.

Death of a child. As experienced by my mother and grandmother.

Brexit again for me

DAVID Davis as PM

Suicide (I'm a train driver)
Rugby Union
Drowning

Roadside dentistry

wrecker - Member
A soccer game.

What country are you in?