mine is surprisingly hard to wind up
I find sticking fingers up her nose whilst she is watching reality tv seems to work
drawing on her face with permanent marker every time she falls asleep before 10pm (nearly every day)
the smell of sharpies makes her jump in her sleep haha!
When having an argument I dissagree with the Mrs right up untill she is really really wound up and about to snap then just go OK I'm sorry your right I was wrong.
mine is surprisingly hard to wind upI find sticking fingers up her nose whilst she is watching reality tv seems to work
I Lol'd at that one! 😀
"So I make sure that I'm indecisive to the power of sick, only way to wind her up any day any time"
She plays that one on me. But really she cannot make decisions, but refuses to let me make them, or just insists that any decision I make is the wrong one. So I refuse to make any decisions. The result is that absolutely nothing happens. For example, having realised we needed to buy a sofa, it took us six years to actually buy it.
The real trick is not to have any desires, ambition or even expectations that would be frustrated by this. Most of the time I manage this! I expect that's quite annoying.
posting on various internet forums seems to work well.
I often pretend to have immediately forgotten something Mrs B has said. For example, if she tells me about her day at work over the evening meal, which she invariably used to do. I will sit there making the appropriate noises:Hmmm, Ugh-huh etc.
Around ten minutes later I will say "so. How was your day at work?"
This prompts the "have you not listened to a word I've said?"
Answered with
a non-plussed look.
The end result - she stops boring me to death with her accounts of office politics and gossip about people I
neither know, or have any interest in meeting!
I put too much jam or butter on my knife when making toast or a sandwich and wipe the excess back in the jar. Only when she's watching mind as it drives her potty. Talking over the cooking programmer that she watches all the time also helps get a reaction. Small stuff but really satisfying in a playful way
Somedays it seems that all I have to do is carry-on breathing 🙁
I ask her pointless questions about things I clearly have no interest in, but would take her a long time to explain.
For example, if I notice she's reading a new book, I'll ask, "New book? What's it about?" Likewise if I enter a room and find her engrossed in a TV programme or film, "What's this? What's happened so far?"
I think the best one-off thing I've done was changing my name entry on her phone to 'Vodafone' and then sending her a text stating that her monthly bill was £672.32 ex. VAT. I did this quite openly whilst we were in the pub with her friends and I was bored of their drunken girly conversation. I then nobbed off to the bar and shortly afterwards received a call:
"Hello, is this Vodafone?"
"N... Yes, this is Vodafone, how may I help?"
"I need to speak to someone about... Hang on, that's Steve, isn't it? YOU **** *, I nearly **** my pants then".
I must be missing out on stuff. I've found the best way to live is not to annoy her, otherwise my life gets made worse!
When riding past one or more of these
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I'll say 'That cow looks cold'.
Even though I've done it thousands of times, she always, always replies 'Why?'
To which the answer is obviously 'Because it's Fresian.'
If she gets wise to this, the initial statement can be changed to
'That cow looks really intelligent.'
The answer to the inevitable 'Why?' is always 'Because it's out standing in it's field'.
Repetition is the key. About a dozen times an hour is usually enough to cause an epic 🙂
If both these strategies have failed, saying 'I wonder where he bought his trailer from?' each time you see an Ifor Williams sticker will usually do the trick.
I like to pretend that I have a supermarket based OCD that means I have to follow a specific route through the local Tesco or I lose it. The story goes that my 'system' ensures that every inch of the place is covered meaning I don't forget anything. If the pattern is deviated from by her in anyway I throw a very vocal and sightly insane outburst and strop off to the start of the supermarket. I then have to run along the same route to the point at which we deviated making use of any clear aisles to 'ride' the trolley.
I don't get invited to the supermarket very often any more.
Whenever we're driving on the outskirts of SW London, on the M3 / A316 on our way to visit our friend in Sunbury or up into town, when we pass a particular road sign I reach over and try to grab her tits. Did it once a long time ago and when she said why did you do that I simply said Feltham (through tears of laughter admittedly). It's become a game now, she tries to cover up if she thinks I'm going to try it, but sometimes I don't just to create the element of surprise when I do.
Even not doing anything annoys her massively, so it's win-win for me.
Occasionally I go a different route, through Lower Feltham for an interesting variation.... 😉
Why does anyone do anything deliberately to annoy their other half/wife/partner?
We can wind each other up without trying at times...!
theotherjonv > might I suggest you both have a trip out to Bangor at some point?
theotherjonv > might I suggest you both have a trip out to Bangor at some point?
and avoid Wyre Piddle in Worcestershire..
My wife always s****s when we drive through Pant, it's not far from Knockin where there's a shop.
Doing things she does and when she tells me off, reminding her that she does them too. She hates that.
Wondering if she is ever going to work out that the +1 channels are an hour behind and watching the same thing over twice is a bit strange
I keep coming home
I get yelled at for biting my nails. My retort is to compare nails with her: mine are perfect, hers are wrecked.
She's hates this.
When an old film is on the telly, I always comment " the Colour was better in those days "
Drives her nuts.
deliberately reach orgasm before her and then leap off victoriously shouting "I win!!!!"
😀
ripping open packaging in an untidy way. Drives OH nuts. I'm supposed to open nicely with scissors, not got the patience for that, I need instant gratification 🙂
Never show any emotion when she's having a go and wants an argument, it drives her nuts. Just when she's about to go off on one calmly ask her if she wants a brew then wander off, its a winner!
My wife always s****s when we drive through Pant
I've eaten in Pant. I can recommend it.
Pissing in the night and never hitting the bowl - and leaving the seat down while doing it 😀
I like to leave a single sheet of toilet paper on the roll. Sometimes I like to leave the toilet seat up at night so when she goes for a pee in the dead of night she falls into the cold porcelain bowl. But I am a bit of a c**t.
dress up in clothes of late relatives and then glue myself to the ceiling, alternating rooms and just above doorways seems to have the greatist impact.
Refusing to ask her to marry me, she's even bought herself a ring and everything to make it easier for me...even said I should just throw it at her one day, not even ask... but it has to be me giving it to her.
I'm just not doing it to annoy her now 😀
same with not letting her have a kitten, I'm allergic to cats... but after a couple of months it dies down (I take an antihistamine most days anyway so its no real bother).
one day she'll find a kitten with a ring hung around its little collar though... but only when she's completely given up 😈
My ex hated my online dating addiction.
Probably didn't help that it wasn't a hobby I had when we first met.
My continued existence is annoying enough. It would be foolish of me to do anything to aggravate the situation further.
Drinking juice straight out of the carton.
Using the non-posh tea spoons for eating yoghurt. If we have a yoghurt at the same time I deliberately select a manky tea spoon for myself and give her a posh one. She doesn't say anything but I know this must drive her nuts.
