MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
My current favourite is playing the original version of any song that is sung on x-factor as they are singing it. Just to show her how crap the folk on x-factor really are.
😀
haha, that's brilliant!
Tell her I want to take up expensive, time consuming past times like land yachting.........
Agree with them. On everything. Every time. Enthusiastically. Expand their on their idea. Explain how you can take it further.
Especially when they have said something stupid.
if i did what SbZ does, i think i'd be spending the rest of the evening outdoors... hmmm... haha!
Use a new mug every time I make a cup of tea and leave them all in a little cluster on living room floor. Drives him mad 🙂
He calls me sugar tits and farts when we are in bed and that really bugs me
Freezing your nuts off outside must still be better than the X-Factor though!
I didn't realise that I had to do anything to annoy my other half, I just annoy her.
Dutch ovens
she hates it when i leave tins or jars of food upside down in the cupboard, so i do it a lot and then claim i didnt realise ive done it
Single at the minute, but my favourite thing used to be...
Turn away from them as if you're looking at someone else and then shove your tongue into your lower lip (chinny face) everytime they say something stoopid.
It's like you're conspiring with an imaginary friend who understands how stupid the mrs is.
in the eminem song 'the real slim shady', there is a line that goes 'put one of those fingers on each hand up'.
when i was with my ex, i used to just sit there with my thumbs up instead, it would drive her demented!!
"you KNOW thats not what he meant"
probly no surprise we're divorced eh?
breathe
she hates it when i leave tins or jars of food upside down in the cupboard, so i do it a lot and then claim i didnt realise ive done it
😆
Dutch ovens
Careful you don't follow through..
I just go for the standard constant piss taking whenever she gets something really badly wrong, keeps me amused anyway.
Open the back door ( 😯 ) and throw 3 camelbaks and assortment of cycling shoes out of the kitchen into the back-yard!!!!!!!!!!! 8)
If I get a really skiddy set of white undercrackers after a hard day, I make sure to turn them inside out before I put them in the laundry.
Breathe?
If I get a really skiddy set of white undercrackers after a hard day
Is this possible? 8)
Open the back door and throw 3 camelbaks and assortment of cycling shoes out
No, it's too easy. You can work out what I'd rather see yourselves.
Freezing your nuts off outside must still be better than the X-Factor though!
of course it would be!
i don't think i do anything to deliberately annoy her though; well, i KNOW i don't. some things i do may well annoy her but i definitely don't do them specifically for that purpose. that'd be pretty sad/weird i think.
Use up all the toilet roll, and don't change it.
Sleep with her friends and not let her join in
If I get a really skiddy set of white undercrackers after a hard day, I make sure to turn them inside out before I put them in the laundry.
If you're straight then what the hell are you doing wearing tighty whiteys?
If you're gay then why aren't you taking better care of your ringpiece?
genuine LOL graham superb 😆
Lordy it's all gone horribly wrong!
😆
I invite scrotes from this forum to my house for the weekend
I even went as far as throwing the Single Track World Southern Festival here a few years back (became the Big Bike Bash) but my wife is so wonderful that she accepts it.
Turns out that I annoy her with stuff I don't even notice.
Pissing in the night in the dark. I never fail to miss the bowl.
djglover - Member
Pissing in the night in the dark. I never fail to miss the bowl.
and then leave the lid up!
My wife cringes whenever I mention the word "underpants", as a result it is often dropped into conversations.
Can you stop rummaging through my laundry G, there's a good chap 😉 I don't want to have to get another restraining order.
Constantly feel her up and make pervy uuuurrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh noises!
Nothing deliberatley but everything apparentley
Ooops double post.
Tell them its too big even though they know its really the proverbial sausage up a close......
Exist
Deliberately annoy her? Clearly, no-one here has met Mrs "fadda...
no-one here has met Mrs "fadda...
She always seems [i]really[/i] pleased to see me... 😆
I don't think I do anything on purpose. I annoy her just by doing normal stuff so that's enough. If you put a gun to my head I'd say, 'anticipating an argument and avoiding it'.
After you've spent a long time with someone, you start to know them incredibly well and I know from very subtle changes in behaviour when my wife is about to kick off for arguments sake. So I'll deliberately either remove myself or apply controls that will dilute the conflict potential. I can tell just by slight changes in voice tone and discussion topics that my wife is manouvering us towards a row so I divert things.
I expect that's quite annoying.
carlos - MemberOoops double post.
Saying everything twice? 😆
I refuse to take her back since learning that she cheated on me with her cage-fighting hairdresser 😕 .. i think it's really starting to bug her now! 😈
can-uk - Member
I refuse to take her back since learning that she cheated on me with her [b]cage-fighting hairdresser[/b] .. i think it's really starting to bug her now!
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😉
My OH always says that I'm not assertive enough and that when out buying groceries it always takes me ages and I can't make my mind up etc etc (no complaining when she is out shopping for clothes). She even brought it out when crossing the street that I'm not doing it in an assertive manner 🙂 So I make sure that I'm indecisive to the power of sick, only way to wind her up any day any time 🙂
locate any pimples or bruises she has and poke them while asking if they hurt. Drives her nuts and provides me with hours of entertainment as she initiated the practice years ago when we first met.
my ability to ignore the kids when they are kicking of when I zone out (you know the ten min after you have said hello to every one then just need to sit down for a sec) after work!!!
My hatred of any job ie DIY......
even brought it out when crossing the street that I'm not doing it in an assertive manner
If I was in your position, that's something I would really try to sort out 😯
I grew a beard
I have a great ability to spend hours doing nothing
mine is surprisingly hard to wind up
I find sticking fingers up her nose whilst she is watching reality tv seems to work
drawing on her face with permanent marker every time she falls asleep before 10pm (nearly every day)
the smell of sharpies makes her jump in her sleep haha!
When having an argument I dissagree with the Mrs right up untill she is really really wound up and about to snap then just go OK I'm sorry your right I was wrong.
mine is surprisingly hard to wind upI find sticking fingers up her nose whilst she is watching reality tv seems to work
I Lol'd at that one! 😀
"So I make sure that I'm indecisive to the power of sick, only way to wind her up any day any time"
She plays that one on me. But really she cannot make decisions, but refuses to let me make them, or just insists that any decision I make is the wrong one. So I refuse to make any decisions. The result is that absolutely nothing happens. For example, having realised we needed to buy a sofa, it took us six years to actually buy it.
The real trick is not to have any desires, ambition or even expectations that would be frustrated by this. Most of the time I manage this! I expect that's quite annoying.
posting on various internet forums seems to work well.
I often pretend to have immediately forgotten something Mrs B has said. For example, if she tells me about her day at work over the evening meal, which she invariably used to do. I will sit there making the appropriate noises:Hmmm, Ugh-huh etc.
Around ten minutes later I will say "so. How was your day at work?"
This prompts the "have you not listened to a word I've said?"
Answered with
a non-plussed look.
The end result - she stops boring me to death with her accounts of office politics and gossip about people I
neither know, or have any interest in meeting!
I put too much jam or butter on my knife when making toast or a sandwich and wipe the excess back in the jar. Only when she's watching mind as it drives her potty. Talking over the cooking programmer that she watches all the time also helps get a reaction. Small stuff but really satisfying in a playful way
Somedays it seems that all I have to do is carry-on breathing 🙁
I ask her pointless questions about things I clearly have no interest in, but would take her a long time to explain.
For example, if I notice she's reading a new book, I'll ask, "New book? What's it about?" Likewise if I enter a room and find her engrossed in a TV programme or film, "What's this? What's happened so far?"
I think the best one-off thing I've done was changing my name entry on her phone to 'Vodafone' and then sending her a text stating that her monthly bill was £672.32 ex. VAT. I did this quite openly whilst we were in the pub with her friends and I was bored of their drunken girly conversation. I then nobbed off to the bar and shortly afterwards received a call:
"Hello, is this Vodafone?"
"N... Yes, this is Vodafone, how may I help?"
"I need to speak to someone about... Hang on, that's Steve, isn't it? YOU **** *, I nearly **** my pants then".
I must be missing out on stuff. I've found the best way to live is not to annoy her, otherwise my life gets made worse!
When riding past one or more of these
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I'll say 'That cow looks cold'.
Even though I've done it thousands of times, she always, always replies 'Why?'
To which the answer is obviously 'Because it's Fresian.'
If she gets wise to this, the initial statement can be changed to
'That cow looks really intelligent.'
The answer to the inevitable 'Why?' is always 'Because it's out standing in it's field'.
Repetition is the key. About a dozen times an hour is usually enough to cause an epic 🙂
If both these strategies have failed, saying 'I wonder where he bought his trailer from?' each time you see an Ifor Williams sticker will usually do the trick.
I like to pretend that I have a supermarket based OCD that means I have to follow a specific route through the local Tesco or I lose it. The story goes that my 'system' ensures that every inch of the place is covered meaning I don't forget anything. If the pattern is deviated from by her in anyway I throw a very vocal and sightly insane outburst and strop off to the start of the supermarket. I then have to run along the same route to the point at which we deviated making use of any clear aisles to 'ride' the trolley.
I don't get invited to the supermarket very often any more.
Whenever we're driving on the outskirts of SW London, on the M3 / A316 on our way to visit our friend in Sunbury or up into town, when we pass a particular road sign I reach over and try to grab her tits. Did it once a long time ago and when she said why did you do that I simply said Feltham (through tears of laughter admittedly). It's become a game now, she tries to cover up if she thinks I'm going to try it, but sometimes I don't just to create the element of surprise when I do.
Even not doing anything annoys her massively, so it's win-win for me.
Occasionally I go a different route, through Lower Feltham for an interesting variation.... 😉
Why does anyone do anything deliberately to annoy their other half/wife/partner?
We can wind each other up without trying at times...!
theotherjonv > might I suggest you both have a trip out to Bangor at some point?
theotherjonv > might I suggest you both have a trip out to Bangor at some point?
and avoid Wyre Piddle in Worcestershire..
My wife always s****s when we drive through Pant, it's not far from Knockin where there's a shop.
Doing things she does and when she tells me off, reminding her that she does them too. She hates that.
Wondering if she is ever going to work out that the +1 channels are an hour behind and watching the same thing over twice is a bit strange
I keep coming home
I get yelled at for biting my nails. My retort is to compare nails with her: mine are perfect, hers are wrecked.
She's hates this.
When an old film is on the telly, I always comment " the Colour was better in those days "
Drives her nuts.
deliberately reach orgasm before her and then leap off victoriously shouting "I win!!!!"
😀
ripping open packaging in an untidy way. Drives OH nuts. I'm supposed to open nicely with scissors, not got the patience for that, I need instant gratification 🙂
Never show any emotion when she's having a go and wants an argument, it drives her nuts. Just when she's about to go off on one calmly ask her if she wants a brew then wander off, its a winner!
My wife always s****s when we drive through Pant
I've eaten in Pant. I can recommend it.
Pissing in the night and never hitting the bowl - and leaving the seat down while doing it 😀
I like to leave a single sheet of toilet paper on the roll. Sometimes I like to leave the toilet seat up at night so when she goes for a pee in the dead of night she falls into the cold porcelain bowl. But I am a bit of a c**t.
dress up in clothes of late relatives and then glue myself to the ceiling, alternating rooms and just above doorways seems to have the greatist impact.
Refusing to ask her to marry me, she's even bought herself a ring and everything to make it easier for me...even said I should just throw it at her one day, not even ask... but it has to be me giving it to her.
I'm just not doing it to annoy her now 😀
same with not letting her have a kitten, I'm allergic to cats... but after a couple of months it dies down (I take an antihistamine most days anyway so its no real bother).
one day she'll find a kitten with a ring hung around its little collar though... but only when she's completely given up 😈
My ex hated my online dating addiction.
Probably didn't help that it wasn't a hobby I had when we first met.
My continued existence is annoying enough. It would be foolish of me to do anything to aggravate the situation further.
Drinking juice straight out of the carton.
Using the non-posh tea spoons for eating yoghurt. If we have a yoghurt at the same time I deliberately select a manky tea spoon for myself and give her a posh one. She doesn't say anything but I know this must drive her nuts.