There is nothing better than.....

Going on holiday. Turning the laptop off and heading out the door for a trip

Going on holiday on the second of January as everyone else contemplates going back to work.

A satisfying poo on work time.

A long hot shower after a knackering, wet & muddy ride.

Waking up in a mild panic on a Monday morning thinking I'm late for work, then rolling over and snoozing when I remember I'm retired.

A satisfying poo on work time.

Followed by a "glory wipe"

A spotlessly clean and fettled bike

The smell of fish and trips when you are ravenous

The smell of fish and trips

The clean, cold, calm air, laden with the smell of pinewoods, coupled with the crisp, gritty noise of tyres on a path as you head out early on an Autumn morning.....

Writing on the sole of your slipper with a Biro. On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub. [/HMHB]

The evening after the last Friday at work before Christmas.

Waking up really early on a chilly Saturday morning, creeping downstairs and enjoying a coffee as the sun starts to rise.

Taking contacts out in the evening!

Skidding into a carpark, having just descended a high mountain on a sunny windless day with views for miles and miles with your mates.

Taking contacts out in the evening!

Are you a hitman, or have a licence to kill?

Getting out on the bike after a long hard day at work when you are not in the mood but when cresting the hill get that sun set you love so much.

Followed by a “glory wipe”

A spotlessly clean and fettled bike

I was thinking "TMI!" until I got to the word "bike."

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women

Double cream.

Fever dreams. Been ill recently but the fever dreams have been fantastical.

Fisher and Donaldson's fudge doughnuts

A cup of decent coffee first thing in the morning. No bad coffee, not "ok" coffee, _good_ coffee.

If you've had a bad night's sleep, it will make you feel better. If you are hungover, it will help you get back in the fight. If you just like coffee, it will reaffirm your like of coffee.

On the SDW early summer morning with the SW wind at your back, views for miles, and the only sound is the skylarks (and the squeak of your cleats - b*gger)

Getting to a small loch in Wester Ross that I have visited most years since 1989 with my brother. It is one of the most beautiful places I know and demands an effort to get there. It fills both of us with joy, the place, the company the memories of previous visits.

When someone undertakes you just to get one car ahead, but they get stuck in the left lane and end up 4 cars behind you. Muhahahaa

Waking up really early on a chilly Saturday morning

I am going to counter this, with waking up really LATE on a Saturday morning, sitting in bed with your other half, drinking tea, reading the news and listening to music.

Fisher and Donaldson’s fudge doughnuts

Oof  yes! Worked in NE Fife in 1988 and a day wasn't complete without a bakery run

Pulling a really long bogey out of your nose really slowly so it doesn't snap, feels like it's being dragged from the back of your head.

Yes I should probably seek help!

@tthew

Lmao. I should have also added this:

Carefully unpacking and slotting together the modular sniper rifle after a sweaty climb to the top of the clocktower. The city lights are glowing, and people are milling around below enjoying their evening. Bliss.

Carefully unpacking and slotting together the modular sniper rifle after a sweaty climb to the top of the clocktower.

Putting on a brand new pair of socks.

When you're cooking and guesstimate how much of an ingredient you need by eye, plonk it on the scales and it's bang on.

Peeling back a yoghurt lid and leaving a perfect yoghurt membrane across the open top

Anticipating the flow in a stop start traffic jam, and driving at a steady speed such that you you reach the back of the car in front at the exact time they drive off and therefore do not have to stop

Taking socks off at the end of the day

Watching a photo appear as if by magic in a developing tray.

Actually scratch that. Waking up and hearing the thump thump thump thump of a tail wagging hard against the floor.

Fisher and Donaldson’s fudge doughnuts

Jesus your standards are low. Fisher & Donaldsons is alright but they are the in one of bakeries

Someone kicking off in an email, copying in all and sundry, about how you’ve screwed up, worst error evah etc. You then point out (to all in the email) it was the senders error that caused the problems*

*bonus brilliantness if one of those CC’d then bollocks the sender for their wrongness.

Just one more day of summer holiday to glory in before finally having to do some work.

Riding in the woods on your own when it's misty but the sun is starting to burn through, casting its rays between the trees.

A really, really, good dump.

You know the one, where everything has emptied out and it feels like it's left a vacuum inside because you're so empty and the only thing left to do is a quick polish.

Anticipating the flow in a stop start traffic jam, and driving at a steady speed such that you you reach the back of the car in front at the exact time they drive off and therefore do not have to stop

Yep, I love this, proper progressive driving!

A) Less wear in the brakes

B) Less fuel burned

C) Less wear on tyres

D) Better traffic flow

E) Less stressful driving experience

F) Much better safety/stopping distance if the unexpected happens and you have to anchor on

Waking up exactly the right amount of time before your alarm so you can go "**** yeah" and go back to sleep

Writing on the sole… bugger 10 hours too late.

consolation, following on from

poo on work time

having a shag on work time

After countless years of trying to learn how to jump, finally clearing a table (even if its only occasionally).

Being in a room and the dog ithrre chooses you as the person they want to sit by.

A good poo.

Toasted cheese and pickle sandwich.

A cup of tea, a packet of biscuits and a nice sit down.

An impromptu and freely initiated cuddle from either of my kids.

Hitting a six over extra cover.

Mid-ride......

• Pint of Guinness and bag of meat flavoured crisps, especially in the winter in front of a fire.
• Cup of tea/coffee and a slice of cake, ideally with a view.
• Ice cream whilst sitting in the sun.

Hooking the oppo’s quick bowler in front of square for 6……..

Saw a cracking catch on Leith Links the other day, whilst I was walking to a meeting. Sun was even out.

I almost started a thread with this title last Friday after watching the proms.

My answer is: Beethoven. There is nothing better than Beethoven.

There is nothing better than Beethoven.

Apart from Bach.

Plugging a Les Paul (ideally a Custom or Junior) or a telecaster into a loud Marshall non-master volume half stack, hitting an A chord and letting it ring out into feedback.

Ticking off trail features and jumps you thought you'd never ride again after a few years away from "proper" riding.

Putting the out of office on, shutting down the laptop and putting it away for a week.

The gravy and last nub of pastry crimp as you finish a proper Cornish Pasty.

Felling trees that make the ground shake.

A siesta, or better still une sieste crapuleuse.

"poo on work time"

Especially during overtime, earning time and a turd.

@mattyfez

🙂
I just listened to the double violin concerto to see if you are right. It’s close, but I’m not convinced. I’m putting up the third, the fifth and the ninth - what are you offering to convince me Bach is better?

For what it’s worth I reckon Bach wrote more good stuff, but nothing to beat Ludwig at his best.

A garden piss

... doing nothing with the mind completely blank.

Bach? Two Violins, Magnificat, Brandenburgs, toccata and fugue in d minor but Beethoven's (republican!) 9th is indeed an outlier

Riding through the damp smell of autumn