MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Or should it be the the Victor Meldrew thread?
Anyhow, I thought it would be fun to have a place to document all those little things in life that niggle you.
I'll start...
Bloody eco toilets!
Can't shift a man-size poo resulting in much brush wielding, several flushes with the attendant long waits for the cistern to refill.
Not only are they a waste of time, but they must use much more water.
Bloody eco toilets!
Grumble, grumble.....
People who say "I'll start.." but don't.
Even worse they then start in a second post.
staying with the toilet theme... people who put a chemical bog in their camper van
why would you want your home from home to smell like a festival loo?
Not the kind of grumble I was hoping for.
Anyway:
Dirt embedded deep in leeks from the garden
When coffee grounds escape around the edge of the cafetiere press
Fatuous bollocks
People who say 'Sorry but' and then list all the reasons they're not sorry.
Ruddy jobsworth train drivers that stick with the 2 bikes on a train rule on a commuter train.
If you don't stack the bikes like a moron then you can get 4 bikes in there and still be able to open the door. But no, you have to wield that tiny bit of power you have don't you, you miserable, coffin dodging got.
The water flooding my yard every time it rains hard.
Brexit
&
Brexiteers
😆 😛
Other people who don't understand the joy of riding bikes.
Think that covers it 😀
People who refuse to take responsibility for themselves and their impact on the world.
Which is a lot of people.
**** the lot of them.
Threads that advertise grumble. Slinks off to a hedge on an A14 layby.
People who drive in to a yellow hatch on the road without the exit being clear.
YOU ARE THE REASON THAT TRAFFIC JAMS EXIST. GET OF THE FUKKEN ROAD YOU NITWITS.
Sorry, bit extreme for a grumble, but I nearly missed collecting my parcel yesterday because of these absolute plums.
My beefs, 2016
The people stood on the high street with clipboards who come up to you and ask "who's your gas and electric with?" as if that's a reasonable opener for a conversation with a stranger. Which brand of tampon does your wife use, you c@$£?
Every sodding lunchtime. I'm running out of t**tish responses.
Oh, and pretty much anything to do with the railways in this country.
Lazy link posting and clickbait headings in forums 😆
Opening the dishwasher at the end of the cycle to find that the tablet has embedded itself on the top of a plate.
Things that stop working for no bloody good reason. Usually computer related.
Case 1. Canon printer. Not used much, practically brand new. Works fine. Switch it off. Few days later switch it on. Shagged. No response. Why? Hammer.
Case 2. iPod. Added songs to it one day. Few days later, plug it in. Not recognised. Large brick.
My spare room is littered with computery debris.
[img] 
[/img]
Nom nom....
Oh and picking up on Loddrick's dishwasher - why is the "Salt needed" light on all the bloody time? Salt thing full to the brim? or empty? Salt light. Argh.
@ loddrick - teach it who's boss, put the tablet on the base of the dishwasher. Unless you have pre-rinse, obvsly.
And people who use trendy messaging abbreviations
People who use the word "trendy"
Fog lights (rear in particular) when it's not foggy - really grinds my gears.
It's lovely here after a few days of bobbins weather and I'm not very well 🙁
[i]People who use the word "trendy" [/i]
People who put words in quotes unnecessarily.
MIDI. I just want to play my synths, not spend my evening figuring out some poxy MIDI routing software that was designed by engineers, for engineers, and never UI tested by any normals 😡
People who are supposed to be in charge.
The machines stopped.
Yes,it's that fault I told you about months ago.
But why has it stopped.?
Because of the fault I told you about months ago.
But why has it.....
in fact any UI that was clearly never user-tested.
(Or manual for said item that was never proof-read by someone who didn't already know how the thing worked)
People who can't cope with perfectly rational engineering applications.
[img] 
[/img]
Remoaners who never miss a trick to introduce Brexit into an STW thread even when it has absolutely nothing to do with it.
People who use the word "Remoaners".
People that open a for sale ad with "Here we have..."
People who walk slowly and/or change direction without looking
The Kardashians. The decline of western civilisation in a nutshell. The perfect storm of greed and stupidity.
So.....
People that write "loose" instead of "lose" 👿
well...
slow walking people who meander so you can't get past them
****s driving whilst texting, i nearly got run over walking to work this morning and not for the first time
ar'holes who accelerate towards zebra crossings when there's people waiting or even already on the crossing. Mind boggles at what they think they are doing
Fog lights (rear in particular) when it's not foggy - really grinds my gears.
Alan doesn't like that much either.....
😆
People in front who take several years to turn off the road onto another road or a drive. My cars got the fancypants autostopping thing so the lights flash on the dash and occasionally it'll brake if they take too long to get out of the way.
People that open a for sale ad with "Here we have..."
yes, good point. First up against the wall come the revolution.
Also Cath Kidston, anything she has ever designed, and anyone who has ever purchased anything she has ever designed.
Icy roads
People who stop at the top of escalators
people who blame everyone else for their own failings
People who stop at the top of escalators
At the gate at an airport, people were filing down corridor, down an escalator, and towards the door for the bus to the plane. It wasn't there yet, so they queued - back from the door and to the bottom of the escalator... I had to physically move a couple of people to prevent a huge pileup.
Honestly 🙄
so they queued
Any queue in a public place should be a right angles to the 'flow' of pedestrians. #itsthelaw
[img] 
[/img]
[img] 
[/img]
People when asked a reasonable question who answer, "so" then the answer, is this a new thing?
Is it buying time?
People who post something deliberately contentious to wind people up and end it with "just sayin'"
People who get all arsey over something you're doing on your own property, when it has no impact on them whatsoever.
Crap spelling and the use of completely the wrong words, like draws when they mean drawers, aloud when they mean allowed etc.
Adverts that have stuff for sale, but expect you to guess how much they deem a "reasonable offer" and then get arsey when you offer them less than they are willing to accept.
People who don't have an indoor voice and feel the need to conduct all communications at the loudest possible volume. People at the other end of the spectrum that whisper rather than talk. How hard is it to just talk at a reasonable volume?
Internet keyboard warriors.
You know the type, the type without a "P" in front of thier name, the type that don't support STW.
Stoner:
Dirt embedded deep in leeks from the garden
When coffee grounds escape around the edge of the cafetiere press
This chap has it right.
I thought it was just me!
People out in public (be it drivers, pedestrians, shoppers, cyclists whatever) who are oblivious to their surroundings and/or cannot be bothered to adjust their actions to aid in the general flow of things. For example:
walking 4 abreast down a pavement and not moving for people walking in the opposite direction[/*]
Shoppers placing their trolley beside them in front of the fridge while reading the fine print on every pack of sandwiches stopping everyone else grabbing their BLT and getting out of there as fast as possible[/*]
Drivers blocking side roads so traffic cannot turn in or out until the traffic lights half a mile down the main road change[/*]
My list is endless and if the UK had US style gun laws I'd probably be incarcerated by now...
and also forums where the list tags don't work. and people who start sentences with and
People need to be called out on using "so" to begin a response with. It's corporate bawshit talk.
Parking metres in public parks. I mean I thought the government were supposed to be encouraging us to be fitter and more active.
Parking metres that require your car reg. no.
+1 for Fog lights when not foggy - they're not called rain lights! That's what the other lights on your car are for.
People in the office who have to have an opinion on everything and always butt in on your conversations with their own opinion/experience/general topperness.
People who pull out of a T-junction in front of you when there's not enough space, making you slow down - you'd fail your test for that.
Double hatred when there's no cars for miles behind you but the couldn't be bothered to wait another 5 seconds.
Triple hatred then ensues when they turn off at the next juntion 200m down the road, causing you to slow down again. You knew you were going to go that way, it's not a surprise! Stop being so ****ing inconsiderate!
Drivers who pull onto pedestrian crossings when in traffic jams. Just wait behind the white line you utter tools
You can tell when it's a misjudgement and they get cut off, fair enough and the embarrased face is pretty obvious. It's the ones who just pull onto it anyway when there's no room to move off the other side 👿
[i]Crap spelling and the use of completely the wrong words, like draws when they mean drawers, aloud when they mean allowed etc.[/i]
They're not wrong, they're the alt-write.
They're not wrong, they're the alt-write.
Bravo.
TalkTalk 👿
Email on 30th Oct;
"If you don’t want to take a Fixed Low Price Plan and would like to change or cancel anything without charge or penalty,
call us on 0345 172 0046 within 30 days of receiving this email."
So I did that on monday and got an email today;
"Since you’re leaving us before the end of your contract’s minimum term, there will be some extra charges you’ll need
to pay. SimplyBroadband £91.22"
Drivers who absolutely must overtake me on my bike even though I'm rolling up to the queue at the traffic lights.
People who have no awareness outside of their own bubble when out in public: Not walking in a straight line, stopping at the entrance to a shop, having a full on conversation whilst blocking the thoroughfare, not having a method on payment ready at the till...
^^^ oh yes, that. Definitely that!
People who set out to cause offence then say 'No Offence' at the end of what they were saying in the hope that this will make it all better. No it doesn't you halfwit. Either cause offence and take the consequence or keep your opinion to yourself.
Children that walk slowly and erratically in busy areas. They will get rub over. Adults that do the same.
Food that doesn't look like the picture of the food. How is this not misrepresentation?
People that sue for stuff because they can even though they did something stupid.
People that do stupid things because they are legally allowed to and then moan about it.
People that moan about stuff - suck it up buttercup.
Bad food. Work canteen comes to mind at lunch time.
Stupid high excesses on hire cars.
Anyone that asks how much that was when pointing at my bike when they have a really good idea it was very expensive.
People that ask the same question repeatedly and respond like it is the first time you told them.
Being bored at work (I am right now as you can tell from the length of this list).
OK I'm bored now.
Oh and most of the stuff already mentioned too.
Literally...
South West Trains. Driving at 3 miles an hour because there is a leaf on the line. Blaming the delay on a member of staff not turning up for work, not making more space on the train for bikes when it is know the line if busy with them.
Alan bloody Partridge
People who misuse who, which and that, as in 'People that'.
[i]People [s]who[/s] what misuse who, which and that, as in 'People that'.[/i]
ftfy
Should of...
tiny pieces of egg shell on my soldiers.
People who have no awareness outside of their own bubble when out in public
Students^^
Oh,and ricecake eating open water swimmers.
Have you seen the mess they leave.
People in front who take several years to turn off the road onto another road or a drive.
I do that if someone is tailgating.
People who drive too close to the car in front. This is basically everybody.
Oh,and ricecake eating open water swimmers.
Yeah! They're just weird.
Sack the lot of 'em I say.
Less than optimal temperature steak bakes.
If we can put people on the moon surely we can keep a pasty the correct temperature.
Paddy o'connell.
I thought jeremy vine was bad but he takes it to another level.
He's got the personality of a tree frog.
Kevin the builder's planning skills;
Monday 10:30am
'Kev, I'm in Travis Perkins, you need the stuff for the electric's this week?, I can sort it now.'
'No mate.'
'Kev, you sure? Remember the door incident at the Stanley Road flats? I fly to Norway this afternoon, and I'm not back till next Monday.'
'No mate, we aren't needing them yet, and * off about those *ing flats.'
'Kev, is there anything else you are going to need to keep things rolling till I'm back? After today, I can't sort anything till next week.'
'No mate.'
Tuesday 11am
'It's Kev, I need the stuff for the electric's today.'
I can generally knock out 600 words or more about several dozen things that irritate me, but I'm in a contented mood today so I'll stick with one.
Seasick Steve.
You utter, utter fraud you.
I first saw him years ago, I think he was on Jonathan Ross, very different to my usual taste, but I liked it. His character and look just adds to the effect, he’s a guy who doesn’t care for fashion or trends, here’s a man who is comfortable in his own skin. He’s a guy who does it for the love of music.
If it had stopped there I would have been okay with it, but for a while he was on everything, media over-load, and they all want to know who he is, where he’s from and his influences.
From the BBC:
“he reveals he was born in 1941 and had spent periods of his life living as a hobo in the American Deep South and elsewhere, hopping freight trains and finding work as a farm labourer, at carnivals, as a cowboy and as a migrant worker. During his life, he had also dipped in and out of the music industry, as a session musician and producer. In October 2016, he plays Wembley, arriving at the arena in a tractor.”
Now, if that doesn’t make for a perfect ‘anti-industry’ truly authentic antidote to the X Factor and the like I don’t know what does.
I even signed up to his mailing list, it read like the label on a bottle of Bourbon, signed off by one of his ‘dear old friends’ called Frog or something.
But it’s all lies, just another manufactured act, this time to sucker in older, supposedly less naïve consumers. He couldn’t even be honest about his age, although at least he has the decency to lie the ‘other way’ to most and claim to be older than he is as he was born in ’51.
No it seems that Steven Leach, not even Steve Wold (his stated ‘real’ name) let alone ‘Seasick Steve' has been courting the Music Industry most of his life and spent the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s trying to make is break playing whatever was popular at the time, before spending a few years as a producer and finally inventing Old Seasick himself.
Here's Steven, Steve, Seasick during his 70's disco phase.
[img] 
[/img]
I'd like to burn his CDs and tear down his posters like the teary eyed girls in the 80's did when the found out Milli Vanilli didn't sing live, or write their stuff, or in fact sign it at all, but I'm 38 and this is 2016 so I did the next best thing, deleted the 2 songs of his I occasionally listened to from my Apple Music playlist - it could cost him upwards of $0.00005 over the next 12 months, yeah, I did it an what?
People who trundle down the motorway access slip road at 40mph to merge with traffic which is generally travelling at least 20mph faster.
Drivers behind who'll overtake you when you've slowed down and moved over because you've seen the blue flashing lights immediately behind them. They obliviously haven't. Mirror, signal, manouvre was the mantra.
They need a gadget installed in their vehicle such that, when blue flashing lights have been visible in their mirrors for ten seconds and they've done nowt, a powerful electric shock is delivered through the driver's seat.
Why is it, when the battery is nearly flat, that my phone decides to flash the notification LED thus using more battery?
People that moan about stuff - suck it up buttercup.
I don't quite know how to tell you this, but that's what you're doing on this thread. It's kind of why it was started 🙂
[quote=slowoldgit ]Drivers behind who'll overtake you when you've slowed down and moved over because you've seen the blue flashing lights immediately behind them. They obliviously haven't. Mirror, signal, manouvre was the mantra.
They need a gadget installed in their vehicle such that, when blue flashing lights have been visible in their mirrors for ten seconds and they've done nowt, a powerful electric shock is delivered through the driver's seat.
Yes drivers who 1st reaction is to brake hard when a emergency vehicle approaches from behind them causing us to stop.
[url= https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/nov/23/censor-non-conventional-sex-acts-online-internet-pornography ]Grumble grumble[/url]