[Closed] STW Christmas survival thread 2017

Inlaws arrived today. They're here for 6 days and FiL has dementia. Going to be interesting 😯

dazh - Member
Inlaws arrived today. They're here for 6 days and FiL has dementia. Going to be interesting

See how many mince pies you can make him eat. "No, you've not had one"

Dazh I’m riding Saturday....

I will just do the same as I do every year, crack open the cheap blended whiskey on christmas eve, roll up a ball in the corner of my cold lonely apartment, then drink and cry until new years day.

We’re going to the MIL for lunch which means I won’t have control of cooking the beef, a lovey sirloin. It’s be cooked through and then some. 🙁

21st. Bit early, innit?

After last year's juggling game trying to keep my family and my partner's family happy - this year we are hosting. 10 folk round for Xmas day. What's the worst that can happen?!

I was actually quite looking forward to a 10 day break from work but with one day to go (coming off a 12 day stint without a day off in which time I've spent just short of 170 hrs at work dealing with some emotionally draining stuff) I'm coming down with a rotten cold.

Arsebiscuits

Dazh I’m riding Saturday....

Yeah I know (grapevine is working well 🙂 )

Gonna try and make it. Will get back to you.

I'm coming down with a rotten cold.

Join the club. I've just posted a solution on facebook 🙂

Mother in law arrives tomorrow. At 6.20am!

Join the club. I've just posted a solution on facebook

I've seen it but sadly I'm missing the prescription element 😀

Jamie - Member

21st. Bit early, innit?

For the majority, probably yes. But we have some angst already, so it's worth it.

I've seen it but sadly I'm missing the prescription element

Would it be career threatening if I popped some in the post? 😆

Saturday - long run
Sunday - long ride then xmas eve stuff at my parents
Monday - couple of hours of riding then cooking/slowly getting hammered on my favourite Malbec
Tuesday - ride
Weds - ride
Thursday - ride then get drunk with my bro
Friday - very long ride
Sat - bit of a ride
Sunday - NYE party

Best time of year

Mother in law is here now, train was in late at 06:30am. She has already told us what we've done wrong with the Christmas tree and that the plant we have on the kitchen table is poisonous, so we shouldn't rub it in our eyes or eat it. 😀

^^rub it in her eyes whilst she sleeps 😈

We’ll be spending it with Mrs Funks parents. Her Dad has been acting like w petulant child recently, so it should be an interesting few days.

This is the first year that Funk Jr really understands Christmas, so for that fact alone I’m really looking forward to it

Each year the Christmas/In-Laws thread makes me very grateful mine are thoroughly decent.

My in-laws are great. They’ll be spending Christmas Day with us which is cool. So long as they don’t attempt to pack my dishwasher, or worse, empty it.

My sister’s in-laws are just odd. They clear off to Madeira rather than spend it with their son, my sister and their two children. We might see them in the new year.

MIL due up on Sunday but she has already started being awkward. We have paid for a hotel for her to stay in but she is refusing to stay in it and insists she is going to do the 10hr driving round trip and spend the day with us. We have a list of foods that she is intolerant of as diagnosed by the cult that she is a member of and not anyone medically trained. Off to FIL on Saturday who has only just recently announced that he has being having an affair with a colleague and is moving out leaving his partner of 23 years only for 2 months later (just last week) to come crawling back. Its going to be pretty awkward xmas lunch at his house judging by what certain family members have been saying about his behaviour. Merry xmas everyone.

Saturday - long run
Sunday - long ride then xmas eve stuff at my parents
Monday - couple of hours of riding then cooking/slowly getting hammered on my favourite Malbec
Tuesday - ride
Weds - ride
Thursday - ride then get drunk with my bro
Friday - very long ride
Sat - bit of a ride
Sunday - NYE party

Best time of year

That's a lot of riding, you don't belong here 😆

No inlaws until 27 dec & my mother is away so it should be stress free. Hopefully.
We've been invited to friend's house - A family combination of Trinidadian & Palestinian with food to match. Hurrah.

I reckon a web cam at blader's house could be interesting.

It's going to be an interesting one for us as my dad and step mum who's American recently moved to Rhode island so we're off to stay with them for 10 days on Christmas Eve with a few days in NY city in a friend of theirs apartment in Greenwich village. Very excited about visiting those places with a local rather than as a tourist staying in hotels but the Step mum can be very trying/neurotic at times and we've not spent more than 2 nights staying with them before so the bars local to their house have already been checked out on Google!

Sat - work 12hrs on standby at the ROC. (It's like the TET from oblivion but with less soul)
Sun - work 12hrs on standby at the ROC.
Xmas day - ride to pub with dogs, drink cider, ride home. EAT , drink gluten free stout, fall asleep opening presents.
Boxing Day - Turkey curry , more gluten free stout. Walk dogs. Kill Nazi's in an alternate time line.

For the first time in years the Outlaws won't be round, they're going to see Strange Uncle Ken in France. High light last year was BiL's GF calling me a Pikey and using the *unt word in every sentence. Oh and MiL drinking herself senseless and FiL being his usual socially dyslexic self.

I'll have the annual excruciating phone conversation with my dad in which will remind me exactly why it's only once a year. We'll drive to kent to see my Mum on the 28th who moved to a retirement village my very close to my brother and his family. So he's being a dutiful son and looking after her over the previous few days.

And that's it. It's incredibly selfish but neither me or my wife (or our kids/young adults) want to spend time with our parents their /grandparents. We'd rather spend the time together.

Oh and I'll be riding a bit and hopefully running a bit more as the gloucester half marathon has been pulled forward to the 14th Jan. And I'm nowhere near ready!

MIL due up on Sunday but she has already started being awkward. We have paid for a hotel for her to stay in but she is refusing to stay in it and insists she is going to do the 10hr driving round trip and spend the day with us. We have a list of foods that she is intolerant of as diagnosed by the cult that she is a member of and not anyone medically trained. Off to FIL on Saturday who has only just recently announced that he has being having an affair with a colleague and is moving out leaving his partner of 23 years only for 2 months later (just last week) to come crawling back. Its going to be pretty awkward xmas lunch at his house judging by what certain family members have been saying about his behaviour. Merry xmas everyone.

This is what this thread is all about!

Biggest challenge for me this morning is pressing a key every 19 minutes on my work laptop so it looks like I am active. No ones cares, but it feels like the right thing to do.

We have FIL and MIL for Christmas day. FIL was told on wedsnesday this week that he has 6 months tops left (C). Its going to be a strange day knowing it will be his last ever Christmas with us. 😥

Big ride tomorrow, Sunday with the kids doing Christmassy things then Christmas eve sneaking presents down from the loft before over indulging on cheese and Port.

Christmas day is at the Inlaws where after 6 weeks of doing almost everything while my wife recovered from ACL surgery, I’m promised a whole day of lying around drinking beer whilst a 3 meat Christmas dinner is prepared my MIL.

Its been a very busy year in all respects, im looking forward to a few indulgent days doing relatively sod all.

Shit, sorry to hear that trailwagger. hopefully you all make it one to remember.

it's looking like an easy going one for me this year. flying visit down to Exeter to see the fam tomorrow and back up to Bristol for Christmas day. i'm in charge of cooking so i'll be holed up in the kitchen all day with a glass or two.
the mrs is stressing about her daughter being a pain over food again (which she is with each and every meal) but it's Christmas so it's the one day she can eat or leave what she wants as far as i'm concerned. then i'm set to relax and do whatever takes my/our fancy until the new years.
just need to get through the next few hours at work so please keep the threads active!

I will just do the same as I do every year, crack open the cheap blended whiskey on christmas eve, roll up a ball in the corner of my cold lonely apartment, then drink and cry until new years day.

Sounds awesome, can I join you?

I have Christmas with my girlfriend this evening. Fillet steak, red wine, slasher movies and adult activities.

Then off to the East Neuk for family Christmas in a nice rented house. Taking my road bike to get some miles in.

Should be good!

To be fair , the Mother in law is decent. She is a right laugh. B But we all have our foibles. One of hers is seeing the danger in everything. Lethal poisonous plants , all food, everything is.someyhing to worry about. It's amazing !

I don't have any in-laws this year which is good, kids are with me for Christmas so going to my parents for dinner but then they are spending boxing Day with their mum so I won't have anything to do all day...

Depending on what my grandparents are doing I might go visit them as my grandad probably won't see another Christmas (has a heart condition and while they were doing scans for that recently discovered 4 different types of cancer 😯 😥 )

been on a business trip to Kazakhstan since sunday 17th, so ive completely bypassed this final week of chaos!! fly home tomorrow and bang straight into christmas eve!! lovely - its usually beginning to do my head in about now...

Today - work followed by evening 3 of 5 out boozing
Saturday - Ride at Woodbury as it is the only place I can think of that won't be entirely made of liquid soil - only some of it. Followed by day 4 of 5 boozing
Sunday - Zwift in the morning, Day 5 of 5 boozing from lunchtime then home early evening when it starts to get silly
Monday - Xmas Day at the outlaws
Tuesday - Ride somewhere - Forest of Dean perhaps?
Weds, Thurs and Fri - back at work although Thursday night is "Loud For Lemmy" Prostate Cancer benefit rock night
Saturday - Ride somewhere
Sunday - NYE - No idea what I'm doing yet but it's either "Indie Night" at the Cavern in Exeter, Party in the Cosmos at Exeter Phoenix, Ye Olde Cider Bar or staying at home
Monday - Ride
Tuesday - back to work but only a couple of months of my notice period to serve left so probably job hunting as well!

The Cavern in Exeter! Amazing. Very fond but hazey memories of 1998-2001

the Mother in law is decent.

Careful now, dont drink too much...

curto80
The Cavern in Exeter! Amazing. Very fond but hazey memories of 1998-2001

Such a great venue for alternative bands. I've not managed to get over since it re-opened after the fire but I can't imagine it has changed much

Working night shift up till the 28th so Christmas day will be spent sleeping with hopefully a ride somewhere local.Off for New year so van packed and getting away somewhere for a few days.

Lucky no family stuff this year and girlfriend is away to her family so I'm a free man.

Yeah. Sore point with me this Christmas. We moved from Hampshire to Sheffiled. MiL got a proper sulk on about that, wouldn’t talk about it, said she’d never visit us. Really childish, but not so much to me, only to Mrs PP.
My brother invited us to his for Boxing Day. My sister has a new baby and they’re in Huddersfield and Otley, so close enough to spend some time with them over Christmas. I was really looking forward to it.
Then MiL breaks her arm.
So now Mrs PP is taking a train from Sheffield after work tonight to Portsmouth to drive her back up here.
In the 18 years we’ve been together I think I’ve spent 5 Christmases with my family. She won’t visit us but apparently it’s OK for us to wait on her hand and foot. Thankfully I’ve begged my brother to come to us for Boxing Day and he’s going to save my ass. But apart from that I can see some time on the bike or tinkering in the garage beckoning.

Last Xmas day ended up with my girlfriend's father and brother-in-law in a fistfight at 5am. 😯

The missus was told I wouldn't be enduring the same fiasco again so its just me and her on Xmas day 8)

Up early. Champagne breakfast. Presents. Pop to local pub for a couple of drinks in the afternoon then home for dinner which is being supplied by a friend who's a chef. All prepped, just needs cooked. Zero stress or hassle. Zero people we have to pander to.

Neighbours annoying me slightly as their Xmas visitors don't park particularly considerately.

The missus was told I wouldn't be enduring the same fiasco again so its just me and her on Xmas day

Up early. Champagne breakfast. Presents. Pop to local pub for a couple of drinks in the afternoon then home for dinner which is being supplied by a friend who's a chef. All prepped, just needs cooked. Zero stress or hassle. Zero people we have to pander to.

You know what? That sounds bloody perfect.

Ahhh part of the STW tradition this thread. It’s [i]almost[/i] like [i]we’re[/i] a family innit.

Well I broke up yesterday, finally laid some contractors off now on thier return to native lands. Sadly, nowt for them to come back too... it’s been great having such a mix of diverse characters, competency and vibrant environment. I’ll miss most of them.

This year we’re alone at home, it’s been 6 years with the family and I couldn’t be happier just us two. We’ve done more shopping than a small country, spend very little doing so too.. Presents are passé, it’s the time together we’ll both enjoy.
My schedule will be this, in no order:
Pub, beer, crisps
Home, films and TV catchup, mountains of food and heating set on “melt the skirting boards hot”
Trail runs, plotting and interrogation of Saxon Churches in Hampshire (I started this in the summer, time to revisit in the winter and visit the remaining few yet to be logged)
I might burp, I might fart.
I will go surfing.
I will wash the car.

Ahhh part of the STW tradition this thread. It’s almost like we’re a family innit.

I was going to say 'yes, a family that constantly argues and hates each other more often than not', but that's just a normal family really 8O.

oldschool - Member

Ha amateur the lot of you. We pulled up at the outlaws, got the dog out who had a pee (only a pee and still outside). MIL not happy flailing arms, shaking if the head at the window. Back in the car and home, not even 1 word spoken and we've fallen out.
The Boxing Day fillet steak for tea I think.

Posted 3 years ago

I see oldschool is still active on the forum. Any chance of an update on this anecdote? Will you be visiting the MIL this year?

I received my first festive bollocking this morning, because I didn't have time to do The Thing before I left for work.

Needless to say, The Many Other Things I did achieve this morning and last night (keeping me up past midnight after a 7 am start at work) figured not one iota.

Presently sulking over a solitary beer in the pub.

I’ve had the lurgy past few days, hoping to shake it off before Xmas as I’m cooking.. MIL and BIL are terrified of being around the slightest cough so now they’re saying they may not come ! Turkey for 6 anyone?

Plus I’m on call Xmas day, but only need to answer the phone if it goes.

Hoping then for a few days riding after Xmas...my new P7 has been out as much as it should ....

My loose plan-

Christmas Eve: visit my folks with little miss breadcrumb.

Christmas Day: I'm looking forward to watching my daughter unwrap her presents, she was only 3 months old last Christmas so it's a bit more involving for her now.

Boxing Day: hopefully a nice family walk, either round Buttermere or up Dodd.

Then squeeze a ride and boys curry into the rest of the holidays.

23rd, a wedding, that’s right a wedding. Not happy. Anyway, we’re getting hammered and that’s that. Zwift ride before we leave hopefully.
24th, hangover, then present wrapping, then beers.
25th, run first thing then off the the in laws for lunch (all good, love them to bits). Followed by a shed load of booze at home with just me and mrs lunge
26th, zwift then lunch with my family then to the pub.
27th, work.
28th, work.

It’ll be reet as long as I get some time alone and the chance to exercise.

I’ll be cooking and cleaning most days until 27th as we are hosting everybody & I’m in charge of food. Boxing Day will be a curry feast, mostly slow cooked starting xmas evening!

After that I’ll be out with the dogs walking, and riding off the excesses of xmas!

Drinks wise, it will be Argentinian Malbec & Japanese whisky - benefits of being a long haul airline pilot.

It's lost it's sparkle not like it used to be.

STW Christmas ruined again by PC gone mad.

Bikebouy even Google can't help me work what plotting and interrogation of Saxon Churches is.

This will be the first year for a good few years I will not be working so I am a little at a loose end. I shall go for a bike ride I think. No xmas lunch - not had one fo0r 30+ years. No family toi see - they are all used to me working.

It'll be great. a day to myself with no obligations.

I'm in Lapland. Guaranteed white Christmas! Just me, the wife and the kids. It's great!

Well it's my last Christmas down here in Tassie and it's currently raining 🙂

Last night (Friday) started at lunch time with the co working office crowd, beers, followed up with some Gins in the local good spirit bar then up to the local to Drink the Taps Dry as they shut until the new year - think we got 7/10 done leaving the staff the Triple IPA and Goze for today.
Sat/Sun will be packing mostly as I have a month left. Beers and Pizza with some mates Sun evening
Christmas day, lie in, nice breakfast and then off to my mates place for a quick spin on the bikes and a bunch of us will be having a BBQ and drinking for the day

Boxing Day - the traditional drink beer and watch the massacre of English Cricket from the MCG.

uphillcursing - Member
Bikebouy even Google can't help me work what plotting and interrogation of Saxon Churches is.

It’s simple, plotting where they are, even the long since defunct ones.. on a map (not all are marked on OS maps) then interrogate the history, the art icons painted on the walls in some is still visible and needs to be seen. Then try to find out what part the churches played in the local and wider community, some were just built where they now stand for no reason, some formed part of old villages or hamlets.. then try to plot the old footpaths and bridleways between them, pilgrims ways.. then photolog em’

Off to my parents for a few days from Christmas Eve! My parents adore my wife, and she loves them so that is good. The children are really excited, and I will be continuing a tradition of drinking a bottle of Kraken every time we get the chance to sit down and have a chat!

The only downer this time is that my Nan was supposed to be joining us for Christmas lunch, but she died last week and we are burying her on the 27th! So it is going to be tricky balancing missing her but making sure the children still have a fun time!

New category this year: slowest broadband speed. 0.5 Mb/s at parents house, which is mildly infuriating. Taken about an hour to download the app for my Dads new ‘ring’ doorbell.......

It’s simple, plotting where they are, even the long since defunct ones.. on a map (not all are marked on OS maps) then interrogate the history, the art icons painted on the walls in some is still visible and needs to be seen. Then try to find out what part the churches played in the local and wider community, some were just built where they now stand for no reason, some formed part of old villages or hamlets.. then try to plot the old footpaths and bridleways between them, pilgrims ways.. then photolog em’

That sounds fascinating bikebuoy and must give a real appreciation of the endeavours of our forefathers.

I had started plotting little bike rides visiting churches in the care of the Churches Conservation Trust. There's still plenty left to see in Wiltshire and Hampshire and have really enjoyed what I've seen including some real surprises.

Well it's my last Christmas down here in Tassie and it's currently raining

Where are you moving to Mike?

In-Laws live 6000 miles away 🙂

In fact out nearest family live about 1000 miles away. We'll have a Christmas with family later in the year, when the fuss has died down.

I'm heading up Manchester way in the new year. Just need to stop procrastinating and get packed.

Went xc skiing today, came back and ate Nigella.

A recipe by nigella, mirin salmon. Played poker with the in laws but my wife got embarrassingly pissed. Now sleeping on sofa. More of the same tomorrow I suspect. Insert smiley

3rd hangover in as many days, a dry day today methinks 😀

cinnamon_girl - Member
It’s simple, plotting where they are, even the long since defunct ones.. on a map (not all are marked on OS maps) then interrogate the history, the art icons painted on the walls in some is still visible and needs to be seen. Then try to find out what part the churches played in the local and wider community, some were just built where they now stand for no reason, some formed part of old villages or hamlets.. then try to plot the old footpaths and bridleways between them, pilgrims ways.. then photolog em’
That sounds fascinating bikebuoy and must give a real appreciation of the endeavours of our forefathers.

I had started plotting little bike rides visiting churches in the care of the Churches Conservation Trust. There's still plenty left to see in Wiltshire and Hampshire and have really enjoyed what I've seen including some real surprises.

I love it.

Odd, because I’m in no way a religious person. I do love to find out why they’re there, how they’re built and what of, how the community was built around them or whether the church appeared after the community and to some extent who the community were, I’m fascinated by the communication links (drovers roads, bridleways, footpaths etc.) that link them all together but mostly it’s the artworks that really spike my interest. I’m a sucker for an icon image, whatever that depicts and in whatever medium it’s in. For instance St Michaels in Up Marden has icons pained on the walls dated from 5-600 BCD, and found when the roof leaked and took the whitewash off the walls to reveal one large one... so they’ve been carefully taking off years of whitewash... amazing.

bikebouy's project is lovely, and entirely unfitting for a thread where I come to read about drunken fights with relatives.

I will rouse myself from my week long slumber to undertake my annual 5 minute raid on Boots' 3-for-2 deals to satisfy the minimal christmas present requirements.
And then I will return to my slumber.

Just sent the missus out to Tesco. I feel truly sorry for anyone who gets in her way...

bikebouy,
Have you read 'The Voices of Morebath' by Eamon Duffy?
It's based on the parish accounts of the village of Morebath between 1520 and 1574. Like you, I'm not at all religious but it's an amazingly detailed account the church (and therefore the village) which I found fascinating.

I'm heading up Manchester way in the new year. Just need to stop procrastinating and get packed.

Good luck with the move though you're kinda brave coming back here! Go on, tell us what you've missed. 🙂

I love it.

Odd, because I’m in no way a religious person. I do love to find out why they’re there, how they’re built and what of, how the community was built around them or whether the church appeared after the community and to some extent who the community were, I’m fascinated by the communication links (drovers roads, bridleways, footpaths etc.) that link them all together but mostly it’s the artworks that really spike my interest. I’m a sucker for an icon image, whatever that depicts and in whatever medium it’s in. For instance St Michaels in Up Marden has icons pained on the walls dated from 5-600 BCD, and found when the roof leaked and took the whitewash off the walls to reveal one large one... so they’ve been carefully taking off years of whitewash... amazing.

I can really relate to that. It's a real treat when you find in a church a booklet detailing the history, to be fair it's often quite brief.

Did you know that the church with the most (historical) graffiti in Wiltshire is Imber Church?

Rich_s - Member

Just sent the missus out to Tesco. I feel truly sorry for anyone who gets in her way...

Since when have you started wearing the trousers 😉

since he was told he could 😉

I’m absolutely knackered, I’ve made 3 trips to the shop for stuff we simply couldn’t survive without for 24 hours, cooked a buffet for 10, had a house full of screaming kids with too much chocolate and new toys and I’m half cut and waiting for the kids to go to bed so I can snooze on the sofa.

I can’t believe it’s only Xmas eve!! I’ve got to do it all again tomorrow.

I’m going to punish my bike at the next possible opportunity, ride it till something breaks.

Just got back from carol shouting at our favourite pub - the only way to start Christmas x x

Just saw someone I know on facebook put a picture up of the presents they got there kid (only have one)... there are at least 50 FFS 🙄

I dont know what is worse the kid being so spoilt, they are never going to appreciate all that stuff getting it in one go! or the whole posting all this on facebook, is it really just a competition of who spent the most on their kids

Well sat here with my bacon and sausage sandwich and cup of tea, off for a ride shortly and the sun is out down here in Hobart. Had a chat with my folks online who don't really get that this is just a few days off to chill here and I really don't go in for all the Christmas crap. Happy for the holiday just take it more as a long weekend.

Eve: Bailed ride to parents-in-law-in-peaks. Too much Brandy. Tired. Michael Mac shit TV. Bed. Indigestion. Xmas Day: Up early, presents too slow and polite. Dog walk. Presents part II. Lunch too late but nicely avoiding Queen. Ready for effing bed. Great turk and tatoes though.

In-laws good this xmas despite serious illness and shit TV options.

Dark bloody early.

Appropriate beer...

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