[Closed] Stupidestest thing heard this weekend...

Stupidestest thing heard this weekend

For the squadron (on manoeuvres in Wales), it was the following;

"Yes, ten more pints and a whisky each"

Riding with a hangover. Never good.

[i]Friends over from Liverpool for a weekend in Harrogate. One guy has a new girlfriend and she asked...

Do I need a plug adaptor for my hair straighteners. [/i]

That was a stupid thing to say.
Electricity? In Yorkshire? On a weekend?

😆

I was in Harrogate today. Small world.

Never saw you.

whilst at the dentist ( brother in law ) , my wife picks up the box of latex gloves and asks him " if you're left handed, do you get boxes of gloves for right handed people? "

i nearly had my cheek drilled through with laughing.

Stupidestest thing heard this weekend

the squadron (on manoeuvres in Wales),

You're not fighter pilots, or SAS teams ("squadron")

You're not involved in military operations ("manoeuvres")

You're riding bicyles in carefully-controlled civilian conditions

Women may say daft things, but some blokes are just to$$ers

But might just have a bit of sense of humour...

robbie williams marrying a woman

But might just have a bit of sense of humour

agreed - if it was against himself for a grossly-inflated sense of self importance, rather than some dim woman

fatal_drop, your troll is showing.
Pipe down take a breather and start again, there is no rush.

Fatal_drop you are Grizzly Gus and I claim my £5

Interesting first ??? post fatal_drop 🙄

your troll is showing

troll by definition has to be the OP

your lack of combat experience is showing

You are good.
Geoffj go collect your £5 pounds at the price collecting point.

your lack of combat experience is showing

So-****ing-what? Get a life, soldier.

So-****-what? Get a life, soldier.

If that's what you believe, the logical consequence is not to post.

By posting, you clearly think that there is more to say.

So reply - or get a life, civilian

Now now, ladies...

Excellent 😀 right in the middle of a developing storm
😀 😀 😀

Some people ehh?

Are they going to carry on? I've just opened a packet of Garibaldis.....

I would like to hope so, but I am sure fatal-drop has run out of pointless arguments to try to start.

Anyway, I wasn't laughing at her stupidity due to her sex, rather because she is from Liverpool.

😉

Anyone else still trying to work out whether fatal_drop is a big pi$$ artist or being serious...?

fatal-drop gave me some LOLs "squadron manoeuvres" WTF

Anyone else still trying to work out whether fatal_drop is a big pi$$ artist or being serious...?

I like the cut of their jib, whoever they are. I mean, describing one's riding excursions with military analogies is a bit childish; wouldn't you say? Perhaps this bloke's outings are a little more regimented and bomb/bullet-filled than mine, but, as f-d points out, most people's rides are the antithesis of military "manoeuvers". It's just a ridiculous analogy that somebody ridiculed, and they did so in the context of a thread about stupid things that people say.

Well, it could have been genuine adventurous training. I think the Army still gets a bit of budget for things like that.

Alternatively, CFH could be hanging round with the Red Arrows and giving them a new way of practicing their [s]manouvers[/s] [s]manoeuvres[/s] stunts that saves you, the tax payer, the cost of running those nice Hawk jets for a couple of hours.

How to be a Walter on-line:

1) Read a few Andy McNab books.
2) Do a very short stint in the TA
3) Read some other SAS novels.
4) Spend hours looking for forum "mistakes" that you can correct using your knowledge and constant obvious "hints" that you are ex Special Forces.
5) Turn off your PC at 10pm when Mummy tells you it's bed time.

I liked CF's turn of phrase, it was inkeeping with his Captain moniker. Anyway is it really something that needs to be comment on in such a nasty way. Anyway fatal drop brings in his own army speak with "lack of combat experience"...

Carry on it's all funny!

[i]Do I need a plug adaptor for my hair straighteners. [/i]

Ah, the female mind. See how she was focusing on the most important part of her weekend....Doing her hair.

It really is Mars and Venus.

🙂

I liked CF's turn of phrase, it was inkeeping with his Captain moniker

Whereas in reality he's most probably a shy, insecure civil servant who likes to pretend he's on 'manoeuvres' at the weekend to make up for things. Can't see any harm in it really, unless he does a funny one and goes beserk with a spud gun in a cake shop in Chipping Sodbury.

He is reasonably intelligent it seems, and I was looking forward to him taking on fatal drop, but alas it seems not to be.

Oh whell.

[img] [/img]

None of these people were ever really in The Special Elite Internet Recon Force.

Anyway fatal drop brings in his own army speak with "lack of combat experience"...

An ironic dig, perhaps?

Is that CFH second in line?

Nope, he's fourth in the line. The one with the face blurred out to protect his identity.

An ironic dig, perhaps?

Methinks the same but it's backfired a bit cos folk think he was being serious!

You're not fighter pilots, or SAS teams ("squadron")

Could you have a Squadron of Bastards? I think you could. I've decided it shall be so.

1) Read a few Andy McNab books.
2) Do a very short stint in the TA
3) Read some other SAS novels.
4) Spend hours looking for forum "mistakes" that you can correct using your knowledge and constant obvious "hints" that you are ex Special Forces.
5) Turn off your PC at 10pm when Mummy tells you it's bed time.

And;
6) Keep on about how fantastically fit and hard you are at martial arts

Methinks the same but it's backfired a bit cos folk think he was being serious!

It's like road rage, easy to pour your invective over someone when you are behind the windscreen/computerscreen..

isn't there a group of animals called a squadron, is it geese or something?

Anyway, call it what you want, its riding bikes with your mates. Some people call it a blast, a razz, a quick loop, a training ride, a session, adventure, trip, a ride... whatever. I quite like manoeuvres, sounds like more fun.

I'm more Special Forces than any of you.

[img] [/img]

isn't there a group of animals called a squadron, is it geese or something?

No, I'm pretty sure that's actually a 'Bastard of Geese'.

It is possible I may be wrong.

See, even the army wear helmets, and they're padded up...That does it for me, I'm never riding a bike without armour from now on...

Wonders if a coil of rope is really necessary....

backhander - Member

6) Keep on about how fantastically fit and hard you are at martial arts

LOLs! 😀

Wonders if a coil of rope is really necessary....

You are [i]so[/i] not Special Forces. What're you going to do if your Segway gets bogged down in a mangrove swamp and you haven't got rope?

1) Read a few Andy McNab books.
2) Do a very short stint in the TA
3) Read some other SAS novels.
4) Spend hours looking for forum "mistakes" that you can correct using your knowledge and constant obvious "hints" that you are ex Special Forces.
5) Turn off your PC at 10pm when Mummy tells you it's bed time.
And;
6) Keep on about how fantastically fit and hard you are at martial arts

Hard you are at martials arts?

That sentence might have been funny my little IT geek stalker friend except that it makes no sense.

Try harder next time.

Oh and you fit the keyboard warrior bill perfectly with:

[i]Do NOT buy the old "crisp packet" type [b]WPs[/b]. These were issued before the goretex ones. These will suck every ounce of moisture out of you. I have first hand experience of these and in the end decided that I'd rather be p1ss wrapped than [b]on my chinstrap[/b] due to these hateful things.[/i]

Note the use of Forces "lingo" to try and authenticate one's keyboard warrior credentials. You use it all the time BH. Fail.

Methinks CFH was using irony in the first place.

Oh, thanks. I would have missed it if you hadn't pointed it out.

I can just see the marines training on Dartmoor with segways....

[i]'Bastard of Geese'.[/i]

Is that like an "Absolute ****er" of Herons?

I am so special forces...I've got a camo pencil case...

Try harder next time stalker nerd.

Ha! Funny tinternerd hardman. You display all the classic symptoms of "small man syndrome".Personally I reckon you're eff all.
Knowing people as I do having served 8 years and being a payed up, badge wearing commando (regular not TA). Why don't you go back to bikegaydar or biketragic? You fitted in a lot better there.

Yes of course you did. 😆

Get a bit of flack and you get all hissy and shouty. If you'd actually served any time in HM Forces, you'd have a bit more of a spine than that.

I know who you are - you'd struggle ride up a small incline without gasping for breath nowadays. Still you can always hang on to your claimed past can't you?

My past is as I say it is mate and I'm bloody proud as it took a lot of hard work. If you knew who I was then you'd know this. Hence you obviously have no idea!
I'm also very calm, it would take far more than you to wind me up.
Talking of hissy and shouty; why were you banned from bikeradar again? Wasn't it for an argument about CARS?!?WTF?
I'm also riding up a lot steeper hills than you nowadays, don't you live in cornwall?

toys19 - Member
I can just see the marines training on Dartmoor with segways....

Can we use the term "bootnecks" please? Marines shows a lack of understanding! 😆
Back to your grot toys19 you're obviously a pongo or a cherry berret and can't even Walt it up behind a keybord. 😉

TBH I'm not actually sure why I was banned and neither are half a dozen people who PM'd me asking what had happened. All turned out good though as BR is a waste of time now and policed by utter gimps.

Fair enough if you did serve - like you (I now assume you are probably genuine but a bit stroppy), I don't feel the need to make stuff up on forums, unlike many. But there will always be those that choose to berate everyone and everything just because they aren't very happy with life.

**** 'em I say.

Oh and to prove you did take the Commando course, what colour is the platform at the Marines train station at Lympstone?

I am of course, joking... 😆

Is that like an "Absolute ****er" of Herons?

Yep that's it, like a 'Proper C*** of Pochards'.

Look at them! Run for your livers!

[img] [/img]

Surf-Mat - Member

Ha! Funny tinternerd hardman. You display all the classic symptoms of "small man syndrome".Personally I reckon you're eff all.
Knowing people as I do having served 8 years and being a payed up, badge wearing commando (regular not TA). Why don't you go back to bikegaydar or biketragic? You fitted in a lot better there.

Yes of course you did.

Get a bit of flack and you get all hissy and shouty. If you'd actually served any time in HM Forces, you'd have a bit more of a spine than that.

I know who you are - you'd struggle ride up a small incline without gasping for breath nowadays. Still you can always hang on to your claimed past can't you?

Posted 8 minutes ago # Report-Post
backhander - Member
My past is as I say it is mate and I'm bloody proud as it took a lot of hard work. If you knew who I was then you'd know this. Hence you obviously have no idea!
I'm also very calm, it would take far more than you to wind me up.
Talking of hissy and shouty; why were you banned from bikeradar again? Wasn't it for an argument about CARS?!?WTF?
I'm also riding up a lot steeper hills than you nowadays, don't you live in cornwall?

FIX BAYONETTES!!!!!!!

[b]What is your major malfunction?[/b]

[img] [/img]

I can just see the marines training on Dartmoor with segways....

As anyone who served with Special Segway Recon Group would know, we used to call them "lizards". 🙄

SSRG wasn't all marines anyway, it was tri-service and pretty effing special. Good times, good men. Most of the lads who are still alive have "episodes" when they hear the sound of a motorised wheelchair though. 😐

MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA... 😆 😉

Oh and to prove you did take the Commando course, what colour is the platform at the Marines train station at Lympstone?

It's grey and cold and (the first time you arrive) scary.
It brings you out near the bottom field which has a similar psychological effect seeing the 30ft ropes (and frames) whipping away in the wind.

bh - I did a POC and AIB so have spent a few days there.

I would like to CLEARLY point out that I was never an [b]actual[/b] Royal Marine though despite passing both 😉 Just did three years "pretend Army" (OTC) at Uni 😆

One poor sod we trained with was very bright and had a law degree. He passed the POC but failed the AIB. He was so determined to be a Marine that he went in right at the bottom - now that's dedication!

Can we use the term "bootnecks" please? Marines shows a lack of understanding!
Back to your grot toys19 you're obviously a pongo or a cherry berret and can't even Walt it up behind a keybord.

Nah I'm a civvy mate, but I live in Exeter cycle on Woodberg and Dartmoor, and my brother was in 40 from 77-86 (3xNI, Norway, South Atlantic on Endurance and Falklands Conflict) and at CTCRM from 86-96. So I alway have an eye out for them, the thinking mans soldier best in the world etc etc ..

I wanted to join up when I was 17 (88) but my bro being on the training team and all put in a bad word for me. I would have been shit anyway, cant take orders no discipline and would most likely have been a chicken under fire.

I used to enjoy meeting people who claimed they were in or had been in that marines. It's easy to spot the fakers.

PS If I remember correctly in the eighties pongos were known as Crap-Hats..

Are you sure those are Pochards Elf?

backhander - Member

1) Read a few Andy McNab books.
2) Do a very short stint in the TA
3) Read some other SAS novels.
4) Spend hours looking for forum "mistakes" that you can correct using your knowledge and constant obvious "hints" that you are ex Special Forces.
5) Turn off your PC at 10pm when Mummy tells you it's bed time.

And;
6) Keep on about how fantastically fit and hard you are at martial arts

[img] [/img]

Are you sure those are Pochards Elf?

Red crested pochards I think. Still ****s.

the results of recoil from firing a weapon on a segway would make a good youpube vid. Imagine Dirty harry or a sniper on a Segway...

*hurridly searches youtube for "segway .50 cal recoil"*

Damn. No hits.

Anyone here own a Segway? And a .50 cal? Anyone?

Oh, and it is a "b'stard of swans". You know, they can break a man's arm with their wings, and often do. For fun.

They have segways at haldon, you can do a [url= http://www.segwaysouthwest.com/tours.htm ]segway tour[/url]. No joke. I wonder if they will let me bring my airgun..

Of course there's no video of the lizards on youtube. We weren't messing around, we were training for combat.

This is all pretty much in the public domain these days of course, but the SSRG used recoil-less rifles for serious firepower. Some of our guys had been undercover for the CIA in Afghanistan during the Soviet war, and had seen them used on the backs of donkeys, like this.
[img] [/img]

Those guys up there on segways...They're toy guns aren't they...water pistols I reckon

I think its from a film..

Nope, the chinese tried them out for real!

Chinese coppers aren't they?
Beijing olympics IIRC.

Yep google found this [url= http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-07/03/content_8479901.htm ]chinese anti terror police[/url]

Anti terror?

The idea was what? make the terrorists laugh so much they'd fall over helplessly and you could just handcuff them?

I have fired a Dirty Harry gun. So there 🙂 To be honest, I doubt the recoil would've caused much trouble. It was a bit like someone hitting the palm of your hand with a mallet. Very uncomfortable, but it didn't make you fall over backwards or anything even slightly.

But there will always be those that choose to berate everyone and everything just because they aren't very happy with life

Not many tho. And practically none on here 🙂

[url= http://www.sheffieldsteelrollergirls.co.uk/ ]SSRG[/url]

You've fired Harry's dirty gun?

Is that a euphemism

No he fired harrys dirty gun

I have fired a Dirty Harry gun