I get asked, with monotonous frequency -
"can I go to the toilet"
My response depends on the time they ask me.
For all the IT people complaining about dumb questions, sometimes you don't help yourselves. After an afternoon not receiving emails all of a sudden I had a load come through the 1st being an email to the whole company saying that there was a problem with the email system which meant emails couldn't be delivered but they were working to resolve it. No other communication on it. Well done fellas, genius.
and when youre walking up a steep hill pushing your bike,and some fat stupid walkerist shouts, "I suppose thats a push bike then".
[quote=FeeFoo said]I don't get why IT people get so uppity about answering some fairly basic questions.
If part of the plant goes down on the shop floor, the fitter doesn't huff and puff and sigh when asked how long the plant will likely be down. He gives a rough estimate.
Just to add to molgrips answer (though I'm probably just saying the same thing a different way), when the fitter gets called in to fix the plant he's probably already been told where it's failed, or if not he's aware of a limited number of ways in which it could have failed.
When the IT bloke gets called in he's dealing with an infinite number of different ways for things to fail, and the user has probably been no help at all in describing the nature of the failure. Repair time could be anything from 5 minutes to days, weeks, months or years (depending on the scale of the system involved). One of the most important parts of an IT geek's job is managing expectations - unfortunately many of them aren't very good at it. The trick is to teach customers not to ask the question, though if they do and it's on something where I know likely causes of failure well I may give what I think is a worst case answer (that can still come back to bite you). Experience suggests that people might moan when you give them a long timescale to start with, but they're generally actually happier if it then only takes you 5 minutes than if you'd told them 5 minutes to start with - the worst thing is to tell them 5 minutes for a job which takes hours.
[quote=mrhoppy said]For all the IT people complaining about dumb questions, sometimes you don't help yourselves. After an afternoon not receiving emails all of a sudden I had a load come through the 1st being an email to the whole company saying that there was a problem with the email system which meant emails couldn't be delivered but they were working to resolve it. No other communication on it. Well done fellas, genius.
Well that is stupid, but it's also whataboutery.
Is there water all around the island?
[i]I don't get why IT people get so uppity about answering some fairly basic questions.
If part of the plant goes down on the shop floor, the fitter doesn't huff and puff and sigh when asked how long the plant will likely be down. He gives a rough estimate.
It's not really that hard to be polite and helpful.
(This is not aimed at anyone on here, just an observation)
[/i]
Obviously this is old equipment, as now it'll be controlled by IT at the bare minimum - and until I take a look I've no idea how long it'll take to fix nor (if it needs parts), how long a supplier will take to deliver/fit the part.
How long have you been here (asking how long the business has been established)
My reply is a swift look at my watch and.. oh.. since about 10 o clock
My reply is a swift look at my watch and.. oh.. since about 10 o clock
You must a cool watch if it tells you when you arrived earlier, mine jsut tells me the current time!
My reply is a swift look at my watch and.. oh.. since about 10 o clock
For years, my website said "Established Tuesday (about tea-time)"
For all the IT people complaining about dumb questions, sometimes you don't help yourselves. After an afternoon not receiving emails all of a sudden I had a load come through the 1st being an email to the whole company saying that there was a problem with the email system which meant emails couldn't be delivered but they were working to resolve it. No other communication on it. Well done fellas, genius.
Yep, email is the preferred method of informing our staff that the email server is down
do they work?
no, we sell then cos they are broke and shit.
Every time I go out surveying. I pause to check my map. A passer by stops.
Passer by: "Are you lost?"
Me: "No. I know exactly where I am. I'm a cartographer. I've got 1:10k and 1:25k maps on me. Which I know how to read. I've got c.10 satellites on me at any one time pin-pointing my position to <2m on this hand-held computer. I can give you my exact co-ordinates in British national grid, or lat-long. Which would you prefer?"
Actually, that's I lie. I just smile politely and say "I'm fine, thanks".
Just for a bit of revenge on the IT bods
'can you fill out a project brief?' i have done, on average three times a year for the past four years while you've been failing to deliver the freaking project. We got presented abill for 12k of developers time the other day - not seen exactly what, if anything, they've developed and the IT PM doesn't seem sure either.
and
'can you tell me what's wrong with it?' No i can't, that's why I'm phoning you.
" So,tell us how you are going to transform our high performance computing department?"
"we like what you're proposing, but your fees a higher than everyone else - what can you do about it?"
meh
None really apart from, “aren’t you a bit too young to be retired”
Q. We need to test this new software.
A. Yeah I'm working on the test plan now.
Q. No we need to confirm its good by Friday.
A. As soon as I've finished the test plan were on it.
Q. Can we not just test at a high level..
A week or so later,
Q. Can you help we've been testing and found some issues.
A. Ok what test were you doing.
Q. No we were testing at a high level.
A. So what do you believe the software should have done.
Q. Can you fix it.
And repeat...
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
Dad can I have some chocolate milk
[quote=thestabiliser said]'can you tell me what's wrong with it?' No i can't, that's why I'm phoning you.
"Can you fix it?" - no, not if I don't know what it is you want fixing (and it seems you don't either).
thestabiliser said » 'can you tell me what's wrong with it?' No i can't, that's why I'm phoning you."Can you fix it?" - no, not if I don't know what it is you want fixing (and it seems you don't either).
I know what it is, but i don't know what's wrong with it. bit like you and capitalism.
"Is it true a pregnant women can wee in your hat?" No.
"I pay your wages!" I pay your benefits now go away.
"You can't arrest me?" Yes I really can if necessary.
"Busy night?" Nope thats why I'm here.
"Can I have a photo with you?" Yes and before you ask no you can't wear my hat.
Girls in Marketing Dept overheard:
"Is Surrey a town or a city?"
😯
When working at a used car dealers as a student, washing cars on the forecourt:
"Ooh, Could you do mine next?"
Repair time could be anything from 5 minutes to days, weeks, months or years (depending on the scale of the system involved).
Moreover,
Usually, diagnosing a problem is the difficult bit, fixing it is easy. Therefore there's often very little time which passes between "I don't know how long this is going to take" and "there, it's working."
"Can you fix it?" - no, not if I don't know what it is you want fixing (and it seems you don't either).
Brings to mind the scourge of incidents logged by email - "i get an error trying to access the product, please can you assist?'
"Not a problem, but give me a fighting chance and tell me the error, hey?"
Or another favourite - "my boss is getting this problem with your product, can you have a look?"
"Of course, no problem - can I dial into their PC?"
"Not just now, they're with someone"
Which begs the question - roughly what made you think now would be a good time to call?
People most often ask 'What's it like to shove your hand up a cows arse?'
My reply of 'Warm' seems to flummox most of them.
My email to them
"Could you please forward the license file to myself."
The reply, via email:
"No, we can't, only you can send something to yourself".
"Can you do overtime? "
"Not a problem, but give me a fighting chance and tell me the error, hey?"
"Oh, I just pressed Ok to get rid of it, I don't understand all that technical rubbish."
Well, a) you don't have to understand it, that's what they pay me for, you just have to read it; you can [i]read[/i], can't you? And, b), thanks for calling my work 'nonsense' (or far worse).
roughly what made you think now would be a good time to call?
*Logs a call*
*Leaves for lunch*
- at least one person a week.
...a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range ?
I nearly always answer - Hey, pal, just what you see! Unless it's a woman, then it's generally [i]lady[/i] in place of [i]pal[/i].
You always get 'em, though...
