[Closed] Stupid Customers: an amusing friday "lunchtime" read

WARNING: don't follow that link, it's hoplessly addictive 🙁

AAARRRGH! I feel like a rat endlessly pressing the button to get a food pellet!

I'm on page 196... 😕

funny, but not as good as that website with the photos of hideous people shopping in Walmart in the US...

oh my goodness, there are too many stupid people in this world!!

I've just discovered it's quite addictive too!

Years ago, when I was doing my A-levels, I worked at Sainsburys, usual student thing of shelf stacking. Walking through the fruit & veg section one evening a lady stopped me and said in a rather posh voice "young man, do these tomatoes have any genes in them?"
I debated briefly with the idea of explaining the differences between 'genes' and 'genetic engineering' but she was obviously a Daily Mail reader so I just assured her that the tomatoes were gene-free.

🙄

Bah!

Damn nanny software at work is blocking the site, grrr!

Must try to resist reading more but it's so addictive....

[i]Me: “Hi, how can help you today?”

Customer: “Are you a lesbian!?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’ve got real short hair. I heard that women with short hair are lesbians.”

Me: “So, was there anything I could help you with?”

Customer: “You can answer my question! Are you a lesbian or not?!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to answer that.”

Customer: “I don’t want some hell-bound homosexual near me! God will strike you down for disobeying his word!”

Me: “Okay, okay. If you really must know, no I am not a lesbian.”

Customer: “Then why do you have short hair??”

(By this time, my manager, who is male-to-female transgender, walks over.)

Manager: *in his manly voice* “Is there a problem here sir?”

Customer: “Oh dear lord! You’re not a woman!”

Manager: “Only on paper, sir.

Customer: *runs out screaming* “This place is ded! Ded I tell you!”
[/i]
😆

“The large mountain Jew goes anywhere he wants to!”

I miss retail for the stupid things customers did or said.
I had one guy who come to complain that our carrier bags were not water proof and the ink on the bags leaked onto his clothes after he used it as a dry bag.
He asked if we could mention it to our head office. I politely, but sacastically, pointed out to him that we don't recommend that you use our bags as a dry bag and that I would not be mentioning it to our HQ as we didn't think people would be stupid enough to use them in this manner!
He left with his purchases with a surprised face.

If you like that, you'll love this:
[url= http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/ ]Overheard in the office[/url]

They are mostly very funny, but a proportion of them are basically about people who's job requires them to be familiar with the product they're selling feeling superior to people who are not familiar with the product and are merely exercising consumer choice by buying the product from people who know about it.

I imagine that several wierd-haired, pox-ridden treenagers in mobile phone or computer shops would have hilarious anecdotes about my refusal to care about the differences between various sorts of mobile telephone. And a woman at Virgin Media who kept brusquely demanding which broad-band package I wanted when I'd phoned up to enquire what broadband packages they offered no doubt also had a field daywith my decision to hang up and call BT instead. 🙂

Had someone in the pub one day asking about the vegetarian meals that were on offer as he didnt want anything with meat in it.

I ran through the list of what we had on offer that day and he sat and thought for a while before saying "Ill just have a ham and corned beef salad" 😕 😆

"Emulation Alienation" helps confirm what I've always suspected about Mac users...

Had to close the web page, the force is strong in that site.

http://clientsfromhell.net/ is amusing, too. (Think someone on here pointed that one out.)

from the IT Helpdesk

me - "now type cd.. and press enter, what does it say now?"
customer - "it says bad commad or file name"
me - "no, that can't be right c d spacebar . . then the enter key"
customer - "same again, bad command or file name"

this went on for a while before i listened really carefully
clickclick clickclickclick clickclick
me - "hold on, tell me exactly what keys your're pressing"
customer - "the ones you're telling to"
me "no, tell me the keys you're pressing as you press them"

<<you know where this is going, don't you?>>

customer "c d space d o t d o t enter"

Another addictive thread here: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

eg. Latex paint, despite being thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide the same relief as pepto bismol.