Mother-in-law at breakfast today..I need some ideas for bisexual toys,
Me and Wife -whaaaaatt??
MIL- for the baby
Me and Wife- ?
MIL- for your brothers baby we dont know the sex yet
Wife- Mum, I think you mean unisex toys
"He's got that prostRate cancer"...............oh, Mother
"if I were 20 years younger". 😯
GET OFF MY DAUGHTER.........
Stuff your Mum (in law) says
What doesn't she say !!
I need some ideas for bisexual toys,
Cross dressing Action Man,
This is said usually while absolutely bladdered from consuming the best part of a bottle and a bit of wine
"I've only had one glass"
It is only one glass, you just keep putting more wine in it you dozy mare.
They're lovely people, but...
... I'm not being racist.....
..the problem with them is. ..
After my partner went to Church with her mother to keep her company.
"No one believes in God all the time. When I'm in the casio and loosing I think there can be no god, when I'm winning I believe."
Whilst loading the car up for a week in Wales.: MiL says scorning " you're not taking your bike are you?"
My mother in law just talks.......all the time..........please just shut up for a bit...............
After I injured my back in a bike accident, to help lift my spirits... " Oh, that'll play you up for the rest of your life". Yeah, cheers!
"Bubble bubble toil and trouble" ...usually.
Not saying she's a witch or anything...
Whilst loading the car up for a week in Wales.: MiL says scorning " you're not taking your bike are you?"
No: bikeS
My ex mother in law disapproved of me going mountain biking and used to say "exercise is bad for you, it's not good for your heart"
Never had to meet mine, Mrs from a dysfunctional family ftw
In all honesty
Whatsaname
But mostly she just doesn't shut or ever be wrong.
I have no idea what my MiL is saying most of the time as she doesn't speak English and my Cantonese is a bit limited, perfect!
My soon to be MIL looking at my fiancé's jumper intently....
MIL: "Why does your top say ANAL?'
fiancé: "Mother, it says 'Animal'".
Referring to sis-in-law going for long walks with the dog..."she's been fornicating with her dog again"
Eating something spicy..."hmmm this has bit of a snatch"
My ex mother in law disapproved of me going mountain biking and used to say "exercise is bad for you, it's not good for your heart"
She's not altogether wrong in a minority of cases.
My MIL is wonderful in many ways, but her inability to express herself properly is, er, thingy.
My MIL invites me along on mine-exploring trips and steam train rides - she's pretty unconventional.
Would you like your Singletrack subscription for Christmas again?
Yay for Sally!
MIL is fine if a little ditzy sonetimes
Mother on the other hand? Batshit mental and a destructive force from which there is no escape
My mum "apparently [insert random rant or story about cancer]..."
Me "was this in the daily mail?"
My mum "yes..."
Too many to choose from. But.
"It's a Catch 42 situation"
"They don't make Size 18s like they used to"
Rather along the lines of the OP. My almost MiL (I escaped from that entanglement more or less unscathed) hit the roof when we were talking about some friends coming over to see us. He was a suit but she was a bilingual secretary.
'You're not having one of THOSE people in your house are you? Disgusting etc'
Not sure if she was upset about the suit or the supposed sexual preferences of someone who could speak English and French fluently.
Can we include grans here. I had the Red Dwarf t-shirt with the 'Campaign the for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society' on it.
My granddad (crossword buff) got the clitoris bit to which my gran said 'I am not sure I know what a clitoris is. Great dinner time conversation ensued.
My mother-in-law regards me with some trepidation she is careful about what she says when I'm around.
Bike-related comments are usually along the lines of "What's wrong with your old one" or "why do you need more than one"
Generally she is OK though, especially when she's had a few drinks!
Ahh ha.. MrsBouy's Mother:
"when I go into Leeds, it's always full of those ethnic types"
😯
Mother in law is scottish so I dont understand a word she says but when my kids have been for a sleep over they talk funny for a day or 2 😆
That white is black and black is white ... the argumentative… no that’s not the right word, as it has implications of intellect …. the stupid cow.
She’ll give you her opposite option of yours at everything…. “Arrrh, look at that baby robin. Isn’t it nice?” “Never been a fan of robins” You don’t like Robins?” “Nah”
She does it out of nothing more than habit and wanting to be the centre of attention …. Weird.
With my MiL, it's the repetition. Her short-term memory is not great due to the painkillers, anti-depressants and alcohol...
That white is black and black is white ... the argumentative… no that’s not the right word, as it has implications of intellect …. the stupid cow.She’ll give you her opposite option of yours at everything….
You mother in law is Fred, and I claim my five pounds
I can win this......
My MiL told me to 'f@ck off and die' (apologise swear filter mods)
there is an upside, she hasn't set foot in my house since..........and I dont even have to pretend to be nice to her anymore.
Just after mrs fla had miscarried the Mil came out with "at least you didn't carry it to term like I did", so helpful, made us fell much better.
She can see the grey lining in every silver cloud.
"whats wrong", every time Mrs coolhandluke calls here, in a tone to suggest she knows something is seriously seriously wrong and she's bee worrying herself silly.
She told us she didn't like town centers in case somebody stabbed her with an Aids infected needle. Yes, i know its possible but is it likely?
Her glass is never half full, its rarely half empty its usually totally empty, talk about depressing!
All women turn into their mothers 😉
[i]You mother in law is Fred[/i]
Is this some kind of weird obsession? The fella hasn't been on this site (as Fred) for years!
you're in denial - you're Fred
Burn him!
Parents were selling a car, just as the deal looked to be complete my mum pipes up " hopefully you'll have more luck with it than we did " . They didn't buy it
[i]you're in denial - you're Fred[/i]
2 peas in a pod, that's fer sher.
All women turn into their mothers
I sincerely hope not!! My MiL is an absolute witch, she gabbles in French so I don't understand most of what she says but what I do understand boils my pi55. At a family lunch my brother-in-law thought it wise not to serve me wine in case I lost my cool and punched her!! The other brother-in-law is currently [i]persona non grata[/i] since he told her that she was a dirty whore (he meant to call her a forked tongue viper, but got carried away)