I've just got a (genuine) message from HMRC to pay more Self Assessment tax. Fair enough, logged on and it says that I owe £2500, I've paid £2550 and I owe £2500. All on the same statement!
Someone in the office has decided to broadcast Radio 2. It's driving me nuts!
The Weeksy thread - we're all sad it's closed but it's for the best?
FFS! I'm not angry, just disappointed that a bunch of grown ups can't come to some amicable agreement. We're all now going to have to check out a thread on some motorbike forum most of us have no other interest in.
Well done everyone.
The Pikeys across the road seem to be unloading about ten grands worth of ordnance at the monent, how they can afford it I don't know.
My dogs usualy pretty tollerant of fireworks but he's shaking now and I'm tempted to go over and start smashing some peoples teeth out.
You'll have to pry my fireworks from my cold dead fingers... Which are over there on the pavement when one went off.
I didn't think this warranted it's own grammar police thread but imo it is an exemplar of the decline and fall of British society, only joking.
I live abroad and have reached state pensionable age and after several phonecalls to establish my pension entitlement the other day I received a letter confitming my weekly payment. Clearly this is an important document and will be safely filed for possible future reference so why the hell is it printed on what appears to be recycled toilet paper which has already deteriorated in the month it took between it being sent and me receiving it in Spain? Secondly the opening line states "We have decided that you can get a UK State Pension at the weekly amount of £XXX" surely there are better ways of phrasing this other than using the language of getting a coffee in Starbucks much hated by pedants.
Rant over. Hasta luego.
I called a cooker repair place to get a man(*) to come and fix the cooker. The person I spoke to took some details including my postcode. At the end of the conversation she said "so you live at Riverside Park". I said "no, I don't". She said "your postcode is xxxx xxR" I said "no, it's xxxx xxE". She said "oh, you've given me the wrong postcode".
What, in the name of all that's holy, the actual ****ing **** ?? Is it likely that I told someone my address wrong? Or is it perhaps more likely that, for whatever reason, they misheard what I said?
(* other genders acceptable)
What, in the name of all that's holy, the actual *ing * ?? Is it likely that I told someone my address wrong? Or is it perhaps more likely that, for whatever reason, they misheard what I said?
If it makes you feel any better I’ve had a similar argument with the DVLA and local council.
DVLA insisted I’d got the spelling of my own name wrong. A longer conversation than it should be.
Council tax department threats because they had cancelled my direct debit, or something like that.
DVLA insisted I’d got the spelling of my own name wrong.
Now you mention it, my daughter called her uni to tell them that the degree certificate they'd issued had her name spelled wrongly. They insisted that she must have told them the (wrong) spelling and claimed that they could only change the name in the situation that she went into a witness protection programme. Maybe that's my solution, but grassing up the Mob seems a bit excessive just to get my cooker fixed.
(After she persuaded them to check the passport copy she'd previously sent them, they relented.)
My wife putting this back in fridge next to the brand new full one?
"my good lady"
The fact we name every bit of mildly bad weather Storm whatever these days.
The fact that people assume the UK is the only place that names storms and forget that there are many other nearby countries that may be much more impacted by a weather event than we are and so choose to name it, and that name is then used to refer to the same weather event when it impacts other countries.
Edit - not aimed at you MisterP, but your post triggered me in the wake of conversations I'd overheard about the same issue.
What, in the name of all that's holy, the actual *ing * ?? Is it likely that I told someone my address wrong? Or is it perhaps more likely that, for whatever reason, they misheard what I said?
If it makes you feel any better I’ve had a similar argument with the DVLA and local council.
DVLA insisted I’d got the spelling of my own name wrong. A longer conversation than it should be.
Council tax department threats because they had cancelled my direct debit, or something like that.
At one point I had six V5s with wildly different addresses on, no matter what I'd written in the new keeper's field. The only common denominator was the postcode which was at least correct.
Furry motorcycle helmet covers such as...
Mohican ones and suchlike.
Had a bloke wearing one on a group ride this weekend and felt like I wanted to leave the group 😂
Openreach
Had a bloke wearing one on a group ride this weekend and felt like I wanted to leave the group
I've just got a Santa one to go over my cycle helmet as I appear to be involved with 3 different Christmas rides next month.
As above 😉 and how Christmas has become a meme of itself.
Scott Mills.
Scott Mills
Any particular reason?
Scott Mills
Any particular reason?
I suspect this ties into HTS's other thread about R2 being on, in the office.
On reflection it was unfair of me to ask for an explanation. We shouldn't need one.
I got one of these watertogo filter bottles which are £38, since i wanted a waterfilter for drinking water when im out in the jungle/desert/mountains/park etc, so this looks great, walk 10 miles, fill it up from the puddle, pour it into the camelbak, walk another 10 miles to the next puddle, do it again, etc.
But oh no, the bottle is rigid, you have to suck it all out drip by drip, then fill it again. It probably takes 5minutes to suck it all out, longer when its cold.
And the thread on the cap is different to every other bottle in the universe, so you cant just replace it
SO Now i have to buy a real filter!
Thank you for the info @thepurist as I had not considered that at all. I shall be less cross in future and my blood pressure will appreciate it.
"Reject and Pay"
Nope sorry - I'll just bloody well leave rather than accept x1000 cookies from your 'trusted partners'.
"Reject and Pay"
Nope sorry - I'll just bloody well leave rather than accept x1000 cookies from your 'trusted partners'.
Alternatively, prepend "archive.is/" onto the beginning of the URL and let it scrape the contents for you. 60% of the time it works every time.
People who don't care about music 🤣
interesting headlines for a link on facebook-which leads you to a paywall
or Reject and pay.
thanx for the info cougar
The absolute monster sat across the aisle from me who put HP "and" ketchup on his sausage cob.
#noclassin1stclass
been shopping for sofas today. im disproportionately cross that most 3 seaters only have 2 cushions (albeit wider), so the middle person would need to sit on the join. yes theres room for 3 people, so put 3 cushions down!
People getting their clicks living their best strife or not getting their clicks but still generally pursuing a strifestyle.
I might go for somewhat irked but there's not a thread for that.
The BBC Have Your Say comments, I really never know why I peak beneath the stone, often the most ill-informed bigoted load of opinionated tripe you'll read all day. I really hope one day it becomes titled 'speak your brains' in true Brooker fashion
bike companies creating then discontinuing different standards and trying to force everyone onto the latest thing (stopping making stuff for older bikes etc).
often the most ill-informed bigoted load of opinionated tripe you'll read all day
Tell me you never look at the Daily Mail comments without telling me you never look at the Daily Mail comments....
People who point to their brand new 2.5 ton 50k EV and spout off about saving the planet.
I guess 'I took the bus into work today' doesn't have the same ring to it at dinner parties...
The absolute monster sat across the aisle from me who put HP "and" ketchup on his sausage cob.
#humblebrag
People who can't use a clutch and don't buy an automatic vehicle.
People who can't use a clutch and don't buy an automatic vehicle.
And these are usually the same people who can't use a handbrake and will try and hold the car using the clutch at traffic lights, etc. Cue much to-ing and fro-ing as they search in vain for the biting point. Just put the bloody handbrake on!
interesting headlines for a link on facebook-which leads you to a paywall
It should be the law that the first person to read the linked article has to leave a comment saying what is the "hidden gem in Rotherham" or whatever the article is clickbaiting you with.
And these are usually the same people who can't use a handbrake and will try and hold the car using the clutch at traffic lights, etc. Cue much to-ing and fro-ing as they search in vain for the biting point. Just put the bloody handbrake on!
... and then the lights change and it takes them 20 seconds to drop the Creeping Jesus act and actually set off. Without fail.
And these are usually the same people who can't use a handbrake and will try and hold the car using the clutch at traffic lights, etc. Cue much to-ing and fro-ing as they search in vain for the biting point. Just put the bloody handbrake on!
I shouldn't worry too much, they won't have a clutch too much longer. 😁
My dad's (even more) elderly neighbor set her car on fire by slipping the clutch to control speed. She gave up driving after that.
Watching 1981 TOTP on BBC4. Modern Romance are doing "ai-yi-yi-yi-moosy". They have someone dressed as what I think is meant to be a moose. Ha ha ha. But it's got a frickin red nose. It's a frickin' reindeer! It's not ai-yi-yi-yi-reindeery is it?
Yes, use your flipping handbrake and stop blinding me with the brake lights (it's hilly around here).
Latest stupid act to boil my blood - people just deciding on a whim to do a 3 point turn. I see it now on nearly every journey (and I hardly drive much anymore). Any road, lane or track (thankfully not on a motorway or slip road, yet). Don't just stop and do their 3 point turn, not giving a flying fig for any other 'road user'.
In most automatics you need to brake to stop going forward, you can use the fiddly hold control or the parking brake but the impatient person behind you then gets irrate if you are not quick enough to pull away.
^ very much this. I miss driving an automatic that had auto-on & drive-off park brake to avoid having to keep the foot brake on at lights & in queues.
^ very much this. I miss driving an automatic that had auto-on & drive-off park brake to avoid having to keep the foot brake on at lights & in queues.
Auto brake hold usually illuminates the brake lights because it isn't the "parking brake", but an extension of ABS
Clothing that's sold on the Screwfix website.
They can't just have a single listing then within that have the various size options.. Oh no. Why not have a separate listing for every single size of boot available?
hey can't just have a single listing then within that have the various size options.. Oh no. Why not have a separate listing for every single size of boot available?
bikeparts.co.uk do this too, e.g. 3 different variants of the same jacket here, different sizes and colours, I absolutely could not be bothered to try and find the right combo in hundreds of different listings.
Getting in a freezing cold vehicle and the freezing cold vehicle operator instantly turns the fans up to full whack despite the engine being freezing so now we have freezing cold air and fumes blowing about too.
Might want to wait until it's warmed up a bit bruv 🥶
Bananas. Last Friday Sainsbury delivered a bunch that were the same colour as the sprouts. They're still inedible.
👆🏻 Yeah, but what about the bananas?
American Pie. Don McLean.
Just popped into my local mini co-op earlier. Massive car park with about 100 spaces as it shares with a pub. Its almost completely empty with about 5 cars in it.
Two parked as follows: 1. Massive range rover w**kpanzer parked in the disabled space right next to the door - driver is fat but not otherwise disabled and no blue badge. 2. Audi saloon (2.8 litre old school type, clearly not even a PHEV) parked in the EV charging bay
I (in my EV) parked roughly in the middle of the empty car park and when I was walking back to my car about 10ft from my vehicle a woman drove up right in front of me and parked in the space next to me 1ft from the side of my car!!! Not only this but she drove in forwards whereas I'd backed in so both our drivers doors were facing each other.....she could barely get out herself. I nearly broke my baguette over her stupid head.
When did gents haircuts start taking so sodding long? I'm sitting on the waiting bench now, and by Christ, there's so much faffing with multiple trimmer lengths and razors. Guh, hurry up, I've got things to do...
Any heater with a thermostat welded to MAX.
Its not really that cold . I dont want to sit in any room at 26c. Honestly , if left on overnight with the room all butttoned up its like walking into an oven, or old peoples home , hospital ward etc.
I dont want to sound off like a sexist mysoginist pig but i truely beleive there are some people who honestly think that a cold room will warm from 12c to 16c faster with the thermo set at 26c. We have sorted out the UK weather now, we get weeks of lovely hot weather in the summer , the winters are not too bad just a couple of months of cooler wet weather so no more global warming please. Possibly the same people who think wearing weather appropriate clothing is beneath them and they deserve to be nice and warm and comfortable in 1 layer all year round. And if they get a puncture on the way home will sit in the car and wait for someone else to change it as it freezing / raining / dark , or all 3 outside the hot box of their rented automobile.
Then when you walk out of the oven back outside it feels like the North Pole even if its 8c . I guess some people just dont understand how things work . Like basic physics.
It'll take more than a haircut.
Its nearly Christmas so my local supermarket is getting busy, so what better time than that to narrow the end of every s*dding aisle to half its previous width with cardboard display cases of more JML seasonal tat.
When did gents haircuts start taking so sodding long?
Wipe round with a damp cloth, and - if I'm feeling flirty - a quick polish 🙂
@singletrackmind - my late mum used to do that before we sorted the heating/insulation. However many times I gently explained that 19 degrees was all the tired old boiler could manage, she'd still wang up the 'stat to max.
My crossness today is not so much that the new office chair wasn't included in that BF nonsense, but somehow I'd convinced myself it would be, and sat (hah) on the purchase for 2 months. Sat on an increasingly broken chair that must have had my teams colleagues thinking the house was subsiding as I gently rocked left and right on a leaking piston.
I did giggle to myself when I wrote it. You're never too old for a "ooooh eeeer" after any double entendre in my opinion 🙂
Middle-aged euphemism?
No, that was
Wipe round with a damp cloth, and - if I'm feeling flirty - a quick polish
The grammatical/punctuation errors I saw earlier in the year on a roadsign which said
Unsuitable for H. G. V's
Just no, twice. Actually, I'm not even sure it had spaces between the letters where I've placed them, so maybe thrice.
Chewing gum spat in urinals ,and the state that (some) males leave toilet facilities in.
Mrs Lawman and her obsession with hidey-tidy. FFS.
Background. She's been having problems making calls on her mobile for a couple of months - intermittently unable to hear the other person, or them unable to hear her. So we spoke to EE yesterday and they suggested a new SIM; sent one in the post that arrived this morning, and I broke it out of its packaging ready to be slotted into the phone when the number had been ported across.
I turned my back for a moment to make a coffee, and she's had a sweep-up of the kitchen worktop.... and the SIM is now irretrievably lost in the kitchen bin. Even if we could find it (which is pretty unlikely) it'll be too polluted by yesterday's coffee grounds, the remains of the dog's breakfast and other assorted detritus to be any use.
"Just stop cleaning up all the f***ing time"
Still, on the plus side, she pays the bill, so that's cost her an additional £1.50 postage charge, not me!
Anyone who thinks that Christmas starts before the 20 something of December.
Anyone who makes liking Christmas their entire personality.
Also.
Anyone who makes hating Christmas their entire personality.
After this past week, the fact that this country does not have assisted dieing.
The teabags that come in a sachet with a little string attached via a staple....
Why?
The GF likes drinking these so called teas which, if we're honest, isn't really tea.
They cost 4€ for 25 teabags of some bullshit named infusion. Magenfein tea (literally Stomach Good), Fenchel-Kümmel-Anis tea (Fennel-Caraway-Aniseed 🤮).... Apart from the fact it's not tea, it really pisses me off the amount of packaging and crap that comes with them.
After this past week, the fact that this country does not have assisted dieing.
your crossness is not disproportionate, its entirely justified.
Mrs Lawman and her obsession with hidey-tidy. FFS.
I've bitched spoken about this before. Bonus points if she then either a) denies all knowledge of ever touching it or b) immediately forgets where she's put something "just for now."
So we spoke to EE yesterday and they suggested a new SIM
Stuff that makes me disproportionately cross: Support calls which result in abject bullshit nonsense like this. I've worked in and around Tech Support for many years, I can smell a fob when I see one. Over the phone.
(I also know that comments like this will invariably have me proven wrong subsequently, so I've just tempted fate. You're welcome.)
They can't just have a single listing
Much like the people who flood the classifieds with multiple listings 😠
Support calls which result in abject bullshit nonsense like this. I've worked in and around Tech Support for many years, I can smell a fob when I see one. Over the phone.
Oh, I know, I know. I've worked as 2nd line around ServiceDesk calls plenty. So that was pretty much my thoughts too, but it just seemed easier to go along with it for the moment and get that step out of the way first. If it fixes it, then great. If not, it'll be into the nearest EE shop next time we're there - but that is 15/16 miles away and we weren't going to make a special trip on a Friday afternoon.
I can't claim any extra points for her denial - she very quickly confessed that she'd tidied up some of the detritus, and she then went ferreting in the kitchen bin, not me. To a large extent it's that obsession with an immediate need to tidy up that makes me cross, especially in this particular instance. Sometimes she's hovering with a cloth, wiping drips and little puddles of of water off the draining board while I'm still putting wet things from the sink onto said draining board.
For two junctions on the M1 tonight the matrix signs were saying " ONCOMING VEHICLE *20*
I pulled into the nearside lane and we were between 30-40mph. We were also constantly being overtaken by people obviously confident they didn't need to worry about any potential danger. Idiots.
Milo & Chip.
Specifically Milo's squeaky voice. If you don't have primary school children who play Minecraft and watch Minecraft videos, consider yourself lucky!
Next door neighbours* Ring doorbell - firstly, who gets a Morrisons delivery at 9.30 on a Sunday, and secondly, why do we all need to get notified by the cheery three note tune?
*our neighbours are great, and I will no doubt be grateful for their Ring doorbell if it films someone going up my drive with one of my bikes!
it just seemed easier to go along with it for the moment and get that step out of the way first. If it fixes it, then great.
The real embuggerance with this is when you go "well, of course I didn't do that, it's bloody stupid" and then they double down and refuse to help until you have.
(Corollary: you do it just to humour them and it bastard well works. Bastards.)
To a large extent it's that obsession with an immediate need to tidy up that makes me cross, especially in this particular instance.
I think I've posted this before but I was once getting a drink, put down a clean glass and by the time I'd retrieved the bottle from the fridge it'd gone in the wash.
I start questioning my sanity over this sort of thing, "wait, didn't I... I'm sure that I just... am I losing the plot?" Is there a term for accidental gaslighting? En gassant?
firstly, who gets a Morrisons delivery at 9.30 on a Sunday
Our Tesco delivery arrives around this time (9pm today). It's a "we'll take whatever time you have rather than pay a premium to specify one when we'll be in all evening anyway" timeslot.
"Black Friday is coming!!"
"Black Friday is here!"
"Check out out Black Friday deals!"
"More great prices this Black Friday!"
"Black Friday is nearly over!"
"Last chance to get a Black Friday bargain!" Well finally, thank **** for that.
a short time passes
"Our Cyber Monday specials!"
Rain in the forecast for the next 5 days. It's officially winter. This is to be expected. Cross seems an over-reaction, grumpy acceptance would seem more appropriate.
Came here to post about Black Friday emails - Rave coffee, I'm looling at you!